Zovuta ndi Zovuta Pokhala Osasangalatsa Pakati pa Anthu

Zamkati

• Kodi ndingadziwe bwanji kuti sindikhala womasuka pakati pa anthu?
• Kodi ndizoyipa?
• Kodi imagwira ntchito?
• Ndondomeko yochenjeza mkati
• Maluso akuya olankhula
• Maganizo apadera
• Kodi ndingatani kuti ndikhale womasuka ndikakhala pagulu?
• Pitani pansi kwambiri
• Kuwerenga kovomerezeka
• Kumbukirani kuti zovuta zimachitikira aliyense
• Yang'anani mwamantha pamutu
• Yesetsani kuyanjana ndi ena
• Ovomereza nsonga
• Yesetsani kukhalabe pano
• Nthawi yoti mupemphe thandizo
• Mfundo yofunika

Timaphatikizapo zinthu zomwe timaganiza kuti ndizothandiza kwa owerenga athu. Ngati mutagula maulalo omwe ali patsamba lino, titha kupeza ndalama zochepa. Nayi njira yathu.

Makhalidwe azikhalidwe, monga kudziwa nthawi yopatsa moni kapena kupatsa anthu malo, zimakuthandizani kuyendetsa zochitika zina. Mwinamwake mungaphunzitsidwe mwachindunji zina mwazimenezi. Ena, mwina mungatolere poyang'ana ena.

Mukawona wina akuchita cholakwika chimodzi mwazimenezi, mutha kunyinyirika mkati ndikumachita manyazi ndi munthu winayo. Momwemonso, mwina mumamva kuti m'mimba mwanu mumatembenuka mukayamba kufotokoza kwa wina watsopano kapena kutulutsa mawu anu.

Koma kusakhazikika pagulu sikuyenera kukhala chinthu choyipa. M'malo mwake, zingakupindulitseni m'njira zina. Koma izi sizimapangitsa kupweteketsa mtima kwakanthawi.

Nazi zowunika za kusakhazikika pagulu, maupangiri othetsera izi, ndi zifukwa zomwe mwina sizingakhale zoyipa chotere.

Kodi ndingadziwe bwanji kuti sindikhala womasuka pakati pa anthu?

Kukhazikika pagulu si vuto lamatenda amisala - palibe njira zowunikira kapena tanthauzo la konkriti. Ndikumverera kwakukulu, kapena kusonkhanitsa kwakumverera ndi zokumana nazo zomwe zimapanga dongosolo m'moyo wanu.

Maganizo awa ndi zokumana nazo nthawi zambiri zimachokera ku:

• kulephera kuzindikira zikhalidwe zina
• kusamvetsetsa kapena kusazindikira matupi a ena

Heidi McKenzie, PsyD, akufotokoza kuti anthu osavomerezeka pakati pa anthu atha kukhala ndi zovuta kuyendetsa zokambirana kapena kuyenda pagulu. Zotsatira zake, amatha kuwoneka ngati "opanda" kwa ena.

Zingakhale zovuta kuzindikira kusakhazikika kwachikhalidwe mwa iwe wekha chifukwa mwina sungadziwe zina mwazomwe simukuzilemba. M'malo mwake, mutha kungodziwa kuti mukuwoneka kuti simukugwirizana ndi anzanu

Kodi ndizoyipa?

Kusagwirizana pakati pa anthu, palokha, sichinthu choyipa.

Koma itha kukhala yamavuto ngati ingayambitse mavuto chifukwa cha:

• anthu akunena mawu osalimbikitsa
• kuthera nthawi yayitali ndikudzifunsa ngati mwalakwitsa zinazake
• Nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi mavuto pamacheza
• kufuna kupanga zibwenzi koma kuvutikira kulumikizana ndi ena
• kumva kuti akukanidwa ndi ena

M'dziko langwiro, aliyense azindikira kuti anthu ndi osiyana ndipo ali ndi maluso osiyanasiyana. Koma zenizeni, izi sizimachitika nthawi zonse.

Izi zitha kukhala zovuta kukumana nazo. Koma sizitanthauza kuti muyenera kusintha yemwe muli. Mkhalidwe wamakhalidwe sangakhale dera lanu lamphamvu, koma pali zinthu zomwe mungachite kuti muchepetse kupsinjika kwanu pazochitika izi (zambiri pambuyo pake).

Kodi imagwira ntchito?

Musanapange njira zothetsera kusakhazikika pagulu, ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa kuti kusakhazikika pagulu kuli ndi zovuta zina.

Ndondomeko yochenjeza mkati

Mukakumana ndi zovuta, mutha kuganiza china chake, "Izi sizomwe ndimaganiza kuti zichitike." Mutha kukhala ndi nkhawa pang'ono kapena kusapeza bwino ndikulakalaka kuthawa mwachangu.

Koma kafukufuku wocheperako wa 2012 akuwonetsa kuti malingaliro omwewa atha kuthandizika pakuchita ngati zochenjeza zamtundu uliwonse. Amakuthandizani kuzindikira mukayandikira (kapena kuwoloka) malire amacheza.

Zotsatira zake, mutha kukhala ndi zizindikilo zakuthupi, kuda nkhawa, kapena mantha, kuphatikiza:

• kusokonezeka kwa minofu
• nkhope yakuda
• kugunda kwa mtima
• nseru
• kutulutsa mpweya

Izi mwina sizikumveka zopindulitsa konse. Koma kusapeza kumeneku kungakulimbikitseni kuti:

• chitanipo kanthu munthawi imeneyi
• samalani kuti musaphonye miyambo yofananayo mtsogolo

Maluso akuya olankhula

Kukhala ndi zovuta ndi zokambirana zazing'ono komanso kucheza nthawi zonse sizitanthauza kuti simuli wokambirana bwino.

Mackenzie akuti anthu omwe amalimbana ndi zovuta zamatsenga "amatha kulimbana ndi zokambirana zazing'ono, koma nthawi zambiri amakhala okonzeka kulowa m'mitu yomwe amakonda."

Maganizo apadera

Katswiri wa zamaganizo Ty Tashiro analemba m'buku lake Awkward: The Science of Why We'Socially Awkward and Why That Awesome kuti anthu osagwirizana ndi anzawo amakonda kuwona dziko lowazungulira m'njira zosiyanasiyana.

Atha kukhala kuti sangazindikire zomwe zikuchitika pagulu kapena kungotengeka ndi malingaliro koma amakhala otengeka kwambiri ndi njira kapena njira zasayansi. Maganizo apaderaderawa amayamba chifukwa cha kusiyana kwa ubongo - kusiyana komwe nthawi zina kumakhudzana ndi luntha komanso kuchita bwino, malinga ndi Tashiro.

"Maganizo a anthu ovuta amakonda kuwapanga asayansi achilengedwe chifukwa amatha kuwona zambiri, kutengera momwe zinthuzi zikuyendera, ndikukhala ndi njira zothetsera mavuto," akulemba.

Kodi ndingatani kuti ndikhale womasuka ndikakhala pagulu?

Kukhala wovuta pagulu kumatha kukhala ndi phindu lake, koma mutha kuwonanso zovuta zina. Mwinamwake nthawi zambiri mumamva kuti mwasochera kapena ngati mukusowa kanthu.Kapenanso mwina nthawi zina mumachita kapena kunena zinthu zomwe zimapangitsa manyazi kunyumba, kusukulu, kapena kuntchito.

Malangizo awa atha kukuthandizani kuti muziyenda bwino pagulu komanso kuthana ndi zovuta zomwe zimabwera chifukwa chopezeka mosavomerezeka.

Pitani pansi kwambiri

Kugwiritsa ntchito kanthawi pang'ono kuphunzira zambiri zamanyazi pagulu kungakuthandizeni kumva kuti mukuvomereza gawo lanu

Sindikudziwa kuti ndiyambira pati? Yesani kuyendera laibulale yanu kapena malo ogulitsa mabuku. Pali mabuku osiyanasiyana pamutuwu omwe amapatsa chidwi chosangalatsa chazovuta zomwe anthu ali nazo komanso zomwe sizili, limodzi ndi chitsogozo chothandiza.

Kuwerenga kovomerezeka

Oyenera kuganizira ndi monga:

• Zovuta: Sayansi Yomwe Timasokonekera Pagulu Komanso Chifukwa Chomwe Ndizodabwitsa ndi Ty Tashiro
• Limbikitsani Maluso Anu Pabanja lolembedwa ndi Daniel Wendler
• Cringeworthy: Chiphunzitso Chosavomerezeka ndi Melissa Dahl

Kumbukirani kuti zovuta zimachitikira aliyense

Zovuta zamtundu wa anthu zimachitika, mwina kuposa momwe mukuganizira. Ngakhale kulibe ziwerengero zomwe zingabweretse izi, ndibwino kuti anthu ambiri omwe mumakumana nawo m'moyo wanu watsiku ndi tsiku adakumana ndi zovuta zawo.

Nenani kuti mumagwetsa zakudya zonse zomwe munanyamula pakati pa golosale. Mtsuko wa msuzi wa pasitala umasweka, mazira oswedwa, ndi tomato wamatcheri amatulutsa makatoni awo ndikudutsa pamsewu. CHIKWANGWANI chilichonse chakukhala kwanu chikufuula mkati ndikukuwuzani kuti musiye kugula kwanu ndikutuluka panja.

Koma yesani kukumbukira: Simuli munthu woyamba kuchita izi m'sitolo. Komanso simuli omaliza. Ndipo aliyense amene adatembenuka kuti ayang'ane? Ayenera kuti adakhalapo kale mwanjira ina kapena ina.

Yang'anani mwamantha pamutu

Mukakumana ndi zovuta, kaya mwasokonekera kapena mwangowona za wina, mumayankha m'njira imodzi mwanjira izi:

• kupewa kapena kunyalanyaza zomwe zinachitika
• kuthana ndi cholakwikacho

Phunziro laling'ono lomwe takambirana kale lidatsimikiza kuti kupewa kapena kunyalanyaza zovuta ndizosathandiza. M'malo mwake, izi zimangokhala zokulitsa nkhawa ndikupangitsa kuyanjana kwamtsogolo kukhala kosasangalatsa.

Nthawi ina mukazindikira kuti mwachita china chovuta, yesani kuvomereza ndi mawu wamba kapena nthabwala m'malo mongodzipatula.

Iyi ndi nsonga yomwe mungalipire, inunso, ngati mukufuna kuthandiza wina kumva bwino za mphindi yovuta. Yesani kumwetulira kapena mawu okoma ngati, "Osadandaula nazo! Zimachitika kwa aliyense. ”

Yesetsani kuyanjana ndi ena

Ngati zimakuvutani kucheza ndi anthu, mwina zingakhale bwino kuyeserera kukambirana ndi kulankhulana ndi munthu amene mumamudziwa komanso kumukhulupirira.

Kuyankhulana kumaphatikizapo zinthu monga:

• kudziwa momwe mungayambitsire zokambirana
• kuzindikira nthawi yomwe zokambirana zatha
• kusintha nkhani bwinobwino
• kudziwa nthawi yolowera ndi momwe mungapewere kusokoneza wina

Koma chabwino kulankhulana kumaphatikizaponso kudziwa momwe mungawerengere thupi la wina. Izi zitha kukuthandizani kuzindikira zina monga kusapeza bwino, kunyong'onyeka, chidwi, ndi zina zambiri.

Mutha kuyeseza kulumikizana ndi ena mwa:

• kutenga maphunziro a chikhalidwe cha anthu
• kufunsa anzanu kapena anthu ena omwe mumawakhulupirira kuti akupatseni upangiri ndi malingaliro
• kuyendetsa zochitika ndi abwenzi kapena abale
• kudziyika wekha m'malo ambiri ochezera

Ovomereza nsonga

Mukuda nkhawa kuti muchite masewera olimbitsa thupi pamaso pa anthu omwe mutha kuwawonanso?

Ganizirani zochotsa zomwe mumachita m'malo omwe mumakonda. Mwachitsanzo, mungayesere kuyambitsa zokambirana zazifupi ndi wosunga ndalama m'sitolo yogulitsira yomwe simumapitako kapena kutenga galu wanu paki yomwe ili kutsidya lina la tawuniyi.

Yesetsani kukhalabe pano

Njira zamaganizidwe zimakuthandizani kuti muzisamalira kwambiri zomwe zikuchitika pano komanso pano. Kukumbukira kwambiri momwe mukugwirira ntchito tsiku lanu kungakuthandizeni kuti muziyang'ana kwambiri zomwe muli nazo pano.

Izi zitha kuthandiza kuchepetsa nthawi zovuta m'njira ziwiri:

• Ngati mumayang'anitsitsa pazomwe zikuchitika pafupi nanu, simukuphonya zomwe ena angakuchenjezeni za zovuta zomwe zingachitike, monga kutulutsa zokhumudwitsa za wogwira naye ntchito yemwe akuyenda kumbuyo kwanu.
• Kukulitsa kuzindikira kwanu pakadali pano kungakuthandizeni kupewa kuganizira kwambiri za zovuta zomwe zachitika kale. M'malo mwake, mutha kupeza kuti ndi kosavuta kuwalola kuti apite patsogolo.

Nthawi yoti mupemphe thandizo

Apanso, palibe cholakwika ndi kusakhazikika pagulu. Koma ndikofunika kulabadira momwe zimakupangitsani kumva.

Ngati mukumva wosasangalala, wokhumudwa, kapena wosungulumwa m'moyo wanu watsiku ndi tsiku, mungafune kulingalira zokambirana ndi wothandizira yemwe angakuthandizeni kudziwa zomwe zimapangitsa izi. Angakuthandizeninso kukulitsa maluso atsopano ochezera ndi kukulitsa kudzizindikira kwanu.

Katswiri wothandizanso amathanso kukuthandizani kuzindikira zomwe zingayambitse zovuta, monga nkhawa zamagulu. McKenzie akufotokoza kuti, pomwe anthu ena amagwiritsa ntchito mawu oti "kusakhazikika pagulu" komanso "nkhawa pagulu" mosinthana, ndi zinthu ziwiri zosiyana.

Iye anati: "Anthu omwe ali ndi nkhawa chifukwa chocheza ndi anzawo amakhala ndi maluso ochezera pakati pa anzawo. “Mutha mverani monga aliyense paphwando amaganiza kuti ndiwe 'wodabwitsa,' koma ndizabwino kuti ubwere kwa ena bwino. "

Kuda nkhawa kumeneku kumatha kukupangitsani kusiya zochitika zina kapena kungozipewa.

Mfundo yofunika

Palibe cholakwika ndi kukhala omangika pagulu. Kaya mumazindikira kusakhazikika kwanu kapena ayi, nthawi zambiri sizoyipa kapena zoyipa, pokhapokha zikakuvutitsani kapena kukulepheretsani kuchita zomwe mukufuna kuchita.

Koma ngati mukumva kuti mukuchita bwino, musamakakamizike kusintha. Kumbukirani, aliyense amakumana ndi zovuta nthawi ndi nthawi.