Zitatha-Kutha Kuchita ndi Zosayenera

Zamkati

• Kukhazikitsa malire
• Pezani nthawi yopatukana
• Lemekezani zosowa za wina ndi mnzake
• Sungani mtunda wakuthupi ndi wamaganizidwe
• Malangizo a 'abwenzi chabe'
• Kambiranani momwe mungachitire ndi zokumana nazo
• Kudzisamalira
• Ikani patsogolo kudzisamalira
• Chitani zinthu zomwe mumakonda
• Nenani zakukhosi kwanu…
• … Koma pewani kuzungulirazungulira
• Nenani nkhani yanu
• Kuchita ndi malo ochezera
• Pewani kugwiritsa ntchito media media momwe mungathere
• Osatumiza za kutha kwa banja
• Osasintha ubale wanu nthawi yomweyo
• Osatsatira wakale wanu
• Osayang'ana tsamba la ex wanu
• Ngati mwakhala mukukhala limodzi
• Sinthani malo anu
• Chitani 'mini remodel'
• Bokosi mpaka zokumbutsa
• Sonkhanitsani katundu wawo
• Ngati muli ndi abwenzi ambiri ogwirizana
• Ngati muli pachibwenzi cha polyamorous
• Khalani omasuka kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu
• Kambiranani za masitepe otsatira
• Tengani msewu wapamwamba
• Palibe vuto kupempha thandizo

Kutha kwa banja komanso momwe amakhudzidwira ndi zovuta. Mpumulo, chisokonezo, kusweka mtima, chisoni - zonsezi ndi machitidwe abwinobwino kumapeto kwaubwenzi. Ngakhale zinthu zitatha mwanjira yathanzi komanso yopindulitsa, mwina mudzatsalabe ndi nkhawa zina.

Malangizo awa atha kukuthandizani kuti muyambe ntchito yotola zidutswazo ndikupita patsogolo. Ingokumbukirani, inu ndidzatero pitilizani, mosasamala kanthu za momwe zinthu zikumvutira pompano.

Kukhazikitsa malire

Nthawi zina zimakhala zosavuta kupewa kuwoloka njira ndi bwenzi lakale mutatha. Koma ngati mumakhala m'tawuni yaying'ono kapena mukudziwa anthu omwewo, mungakhale ndi nthawi yovuta kupatukana miyoyo yanu.

Kukhazikitsa malire omveka oti mudzalumikizane mtsogolo kungathandize kuti kupatukana kukhale kosavuta kwa nonse.

Pezani nthawi yopatukana

Ngakhale nonse mutadziwa kuti mukufuna kupitiriza kukhala paubwenzi, malo ochepa kwakanthawi sangavulaze. Kupumula polemba mameseji ndikucheza kungakuthandizeni nonse kuyamba kuchira.

Katherine Parker yemwe ali ndi chilolezo chokwatirana ndi banja amatanthauza kudikirira pakati pa miyezi 1 ndi 3 musanayanjanenso ndi wakale ngati ndichinthu chomwe mukufuna.

Izi zimakupatsani nthawi yoti muziganizira nokha, akutero. Ikhozanso kukuthandizani kupeŵa kugwera munthawi yoyipa yolimbikitsa mnzanu wakale komanso kupitiriza kutha.

Lemekezani zosowa za wina ndi mnzake

Ngati mukufuna kukhalabe abwenzi koma wakale wanu safuna kulumikizana, muyenera kulemekeza. Osayimba foni, kulemberana mameseji, kapena kufunsa anzawo kuti azikulankhulirani.

Mutha kuwasowa kwambiri, koma kusalemekeza malire awo kungawononge mwayi wamtsogolo waubwenzi.

Mosiyana, ngati mnzanu wakale amakulumikizani, makamaka musanakonzekere kulankhula, musamve kuti mukuyenera kuyankha. Izi zitha kukhala zovuta, makamaka ngati akuwoneka kuti ali pachiwopsezo kapena akuwonetsa zakumverera kofanana ndi kwanu. Dzikumbutseni kuti nonse muyenera nthawi ndi malo kuti athane ndi zovuta izi ndikudikirira mpaka nthawi yoti musalumikizane itadutsa.

Sungani mtunda wakuthupi ndi wamaganizidwe

Ngati mukufuna kuyesa chinthu chaubwenzi patapita nthawi yotalikirana, yang'anirani zoyeserera zakale ndi machitidwe awo. Mwinamwake mumatsamira mutu wanu paphewa lawo pamene mukuwonera kanema kapena amabwera kwa inu kudzakuthandizani panthawi yamavuto.

Palibe cholakwika chilichonse mwazikhalidwe izi, koma zimatha kubweretsa chisokonezo ndikupweteketsa mtima kwina. Ngati inu ndi bwenzi lanu lakale mukufuna kukhalabe paubwenzi, muyenera kukhala ngati abwenzi.

Malangizo a 'abwenzi chabe'

Kukhala patali kumatanthauza kusachita chilichonse chomwe simungamachite ndi mnzanu, monga:

• kukwatirana kapena kulumikizana kwina
• kugona limodzi pabedi limodzi
• kuchitirana wina ndi mnzake ku chakudya chamtengo wapatali
• kupereka thandizo lokhazikika pamalingaliro kapena pachuma

Kuchepetsa machitidwe aliwonse omwe amakupangitsani kuganiza kuti, "Zikuwoneka kuti sitinasiyane," mwina ndiabwino kwambiri.

Kambiranani momwe mungachitire ndi zokumana nazo

Nthawi zina, sipangakhale kupeŵa wakale. Mwina mumagwirira ntchito limodzi, kupita nawo ku koleji imodzimodzi, kapena mumakhala ndi anzanu omwewo. Zikatero, ndi bwino kukhala ndi kukambirana zomwe mudzachite pamene mosalephera mudzawonana.

Konzekerani kusunga zinthu mwaulemu, ngakhale mutakhala kuti mwasokonekera. Ingokumbukirani kuti simungathe kuwongolera machitidwe a wina. Ngati sangathe kutsatira mgwirizano ndikuchitapo kanthu, yesani kutenga mseu wapamwamba pokana nawo.

Ngati mumagwirira ntchito limodzi, chitani zonse zomwe mungathe kuti mukhalebe ndiukadaulo. Pitirizani kukambirana momasuka ndipo yesetsani kupewa kulankhula ndi anzanu kuntchito zomwe zinachitika. Miseche imafalikira mosavuta, ndipo ngakhale zowerengeka zochepa zimatha kusintha mwamphamvu kuchokera kwa munthu kupita munthu.

Sindikudziwa choti ndinene? Yesani china chonga ichi, "Tinaganiza zosiya kuwonana, koma tadzipereka kukhalabe ndi mgwirizano pakati pa anthu ogwira ntchito."

Kudzisamalira

Mukamaliza malire anu, ndi nthawi yoti mutembenukire ku ubale wanu ndi inu nokha.

Ikani patsogolo kudzisamalira

Parker amalimbikitsa kupanga chizolowezi chodzisamalira tsiku lililonse.

Tsiku lililonse, chitani kena kake kuti:

• imakusangalatsani (onani anzanu, kukhala ndi zokumana nazo zatsopano, kucheza ndi zosangalatsa zomwe mumakonda)
• amakulitsani (kulimbitsa thupi, kusinkhasinkha, kuphika chakudya chokhutiritsa koma chopatsa thanzi)
• imakuthandizani kukonza malingaliro anu (pangani zaluso kapena nyimbo, zolemba, lankhulani ndi othandizira kapena munthu wina wothandizira)

Yesetsani kugona mokwanira, koma pewani kugona kwambiri. Izi zitha kusokoneza maudindo anu ndikupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu onyada komanso osasangalala.

Ndipo, pamenepo, pali chakudya chotonthoza, ma binges a Netflix, ndi botolo la vinyo. Ndibwino kuti muzichita zina nthawi zina mukamachira, koma yang'anirani zinthu kuti zisakhale zizolowezi zovuta zomwe zimakhala zovuta kuwononga msewu. Ganizirani zopulumutsa zinthu izi nthawi yapadera ndi anzanu kapena kudzipereka usiku umodzi sabata kuti musuke.

Chitani zinthu zomwe mumakonda

Mutatha kupatukana, mutha kukhala ndi nthawi yambiri yopuma kuposa momwe mumazolowera. Yesetsani kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi ino m'njira zabwino.

Mwina munthawi ya chibwenzi mudakhala nthawi yocheperako mukuwerenga ndikukhala ndi mabuku osawerengedwa omwe akudikirani pafupi ndi kama wanu. Kapena mwina mwakhala mukufuna kuyesa kulima kapena kuluka. Mutha kuyamba kuphunzira chilankhulo chatsopano kapena kukonzekera ulendowu.

Kupeza zinthu zoti muchite (ndikuzichita) zitha kukuthandizani kuti musasokonezeke pambuyo pakutha.

Nenani zakukhosi kwanu…

Ndizofala kukhala ndi malingaliro ambiri mutatha, kuphatikizapo:

• mkwiyo
• chisoni
• chisoni
• chisokonezo
• kusungulumwa

Zingathandize kuzindikira malingaliro awa. Alembeni, muwafanizire, kapena lankhulani ndi okondedwa anu. Makanema, nyimbo, ndi mabuku okhudza anthu omwe akukumana ndi zoterezi zitha kuwonetsa zomwe mumakumana nazo, chifukwa izi zimatha kukupatsani chilimbikitso.

… Koma pewani kuzungulirazungulira

Yesetsani kuti musamangokhalira kukhumudwa, chifukwa nthawi zambiri sizimathandizira kukulira chisoni ndi kutayika. Ngati simungathe kusiya kuganizira za wakale, yesani "kukonzanso" potuluka m'nyumba, kuchezera mnzanu, kapena kuyika nyimbo ndikuyeretsa mwakuya.

Pumulani pamasewero achisoni kapena achikondi ndi nyimbo zachikondi. M'malo mwake, yesani ziwonetsero zoseketsa kapena zolimbikitsa, nyimbo zoseketsa, ndi ma buku opepuka opanda chikondi. Izi zitha kukuthandizani kuti musakhumudwe.

Njira zina zachangu zothanirana ndi kukhumudwa:

• Tsegulani zenera lanu kuunika kwachilengedwe.
• Pezani dzuwa.
• Sangalalani ndi shawa kapena bafa ndi zinthu zomwe mumakonda.
• Kutentha kandulo ndi kafungo kabwino kapena kabichi.

Nenani nkhani yanu

Parker akuwonetsa kuti afotokozere mwachidule za kutha kwa banja lanu. Chiganizo chimodzi kapena ziwiri ndi zabwino. Mwachitsanzo, "Ndikufuna nthawi ndi malo kuti ndikulumikizane ndekha ndi zosowa zanga ndisanakhale paubwenzi ndi wina." Njira ina ingakhale yakuti, "Kutha ndi njira, ndipo palibe chomwe chikuwonekera nthawi yomweyo."

Sungani izi pena paliponse, monga galasi lanu losambira kapena furiji, ndipo yang'anani pa izi mukamamva kuti mumasowa bwenzi lanu lakale ndikufuna kufikira, akutero.

Kuchita ndi malo ochezera

China china chosayembekezereka chothetsa: malo ochezera. Sizovuta nthawi zonse kudziwa momwe mungakhalire malire okhudzana ndi digito, koma nazi zina zomwe muyenera kuchita ndi zomwe simuyenera kuchita.

Pewani kugwiritsa ntchito media media momwe mungathere

Parker akuti: "Zolinga zamankhwala zimapanga malo oti anthu azingokondana komanso azikhala opanda thanzi, komanso mwayi wopezerera anzawo mwankhanza."

Kupatula nthawi yapa media media kungakhale kothandiza mutapatukana. Izi zimatsimikizira kuti simumaliza kuwonongera malingaliro anu mukakumana ndi zithunzi za akale kapena zithunzi za mabanja omwe akuwoneka ngati abwino.

Ngati mumagwiritsa ntchito malo ochezera a pa Intaneti mutatha, Parker amalimbikitsa kuti muzingozigwiritsa ntchito polumikizana ndi kupeza chithandizo kuchokera kwa abwenzi komanso abale. Mwachitsanzo, mungaganize zochotsa pulogalamu ya Facebook kwakanthawi pafoni yanu ndikugwiritsa ntchito Messenger kuti mucheze.

Osatumiza za kutha kwa banja

Simuyenera kugawana pagulu kuti ubale wanu watha, chifukwa mwayi, anthu omwe akuyenera kudziwa kale chitani mukudziwa. "Malo ochezera a pa Intaneti siwo malo oti muwonetsere zakukhosi kwanu kapena zokhumudwitsa zanu kwa mnzanu wakale," akutero Parker.

Mungafune kugawana chowonadi ngati wokondedwa wanu anakunamizirani, anakunamizani, kapena anakulakwirani, koma sungani kukhumudwa kwanu chifukwa cha mauthenga achinsinsi ndi anthu omwe mumawakhulupirira.

Osasintha ubale wanu nthawi yomweyo

Ngati inu ndi mnzanu wakale munagwiritsa ntchito "Paubwenzi" pa Facebook, zitha kuwoneka zomveka (komanso zowona mtima) kuti musinthe udindo wanu kukhala "Osakwatira" chibwenzi chatha.

Njira yabwinoko ndikubisa mbiri yanu (kapena kuyiyika nokha kuti muwone). Mwachitsanzo, ngati mupuma kaye pazanema, mutha kubisala mpaka mudzabwerenso. Anthu sangazindikire zosinthazo pakapita nthawi.

Akazindikira, kutha kwanu kudzakhala nkhani yakale, chifukwa sizikhala ndi vuto lililonse. Kuyembekezera kusintha momwe mulili kumathandizanso kuchepetsa mwayi womwe mnzanu wakale amakhumudwa ndikusintha.

Osatsatira wakale wanu

Simufunikanso kusungitsa bwenzi lanu ngati:

• chibwenzicho chidathera paubale wabwino
• mukufuna kukhalabe abwenzi
• muli ndi mayanjano ena ochezera

Koma mapulogalamu ambiri azama TV tsopano amakulolani kuti muzilankhula kapena kubisa anthu popanda kuwatsata. Izi zimakupangitsani kuti musawone zomwe amagawana nawo. Ngati simukufuna kuwona mnzanu wakale pazolemba za anthu ena, zingathandizenso kuti musatsatire anthu omwe amalumikizana nawo kwambiri, kuphatikiza abwenzi apamtima ndi abale awo.

Pa Facebook, mutha kugwiritsa ntchito makonda achinsinsi kuti muike anthu pamndandanda woletsedwa, zomwe zimawalepheretsa kuwona chilichonse chomwe sichinagawidwe pagulu. Izi zitha kuthandiza, koma ngati chibwenzicho chinali chankhanza, ndibwino kuti muwaletse kotheratu kuti asawone chilichonse chomwe mungakonde kapena zosintha.

Osayang'ana tsamba la ex wanu

Mutha kumva kuti mukuyesedwa, makamaka ngati mwawawonapo kuzungulira tawuni ndi wina watsopano. Mwinamwake mukufuna kudziwa ngati akumva kuwawa monga inu, kapena mwina mukuyang'ana zosintha zomwe simukuzidziwa basi mukudziwa amafuna kuti muwone.

Koma dzifunseni kuti, "Kodi kuyang'ana patsamba lawo kudzakwaniritsa chiyani?" Mwinamwake palibe wathanzi, choncho ndi bwino kukana chilakolakocho.

Ngati mwakhala mukukhala limodzi

Kutha ndi mnzanu wokhala naye limodzi kumabweretsa zovuta zina.

Sinthani malo anu

Mnzanu atatuluka, nyumba yanu kapena nyumba yanu ingamveke mosiyana kwambiri. Malo anu atha kukhala osungulumwa. Mwina sangamve ngati "kunyumba" panonso. Mungafune kulongedza ndi kusamukira kumalo opanda zokumbukira zambiri zowawa.

Ngati mumagawana malo ndi wokondedwa wanu atasamuka, nyumba yanu imatha kukhala yosungulumwa kapena yokumbukira zokumana nazo zopweteka. Inde, kusamukira kumalo atsopano kungathandize, koma sikuti ndalama zimatheka nthawi zonse. M'malo mwake, yang'anani kutsitsimutsa malo omwe muli.

Chitani 'mini remodel'

• sungani mipando mozungulira
• pezani makapu atsopano kapena mbale
• sungani zofunda zatsopano
• yesetsani kutaya mipando imodzi yomwe mutha kusinthira mosavuta
• chotsani bulangeti lomwe mumangokhalira kukumbatira ndikulibwezeretsanso m'malo osiyanasiyana ndi mitundu
• yesani mtundu wina wamitundu pabalaza panu kapena pogona.
• pezani tebulo lanu ndi mipando.
• sinthani makalapeti, ponyani mapilo, mapilo, ndi zofunda

Bokosi mpaka zokumbutsa

Itha kuthandiza kunyamula zikumbutso zofunikira zaubwenzi, kuphatikiza mphatso, zithunzi, kapena zinthu zomwe mudagula limodzi. Simuyenera kutaya zinthu izi. Ingoikani bokosilo pambali pomwe simudzawona nthawi zonse. Pansi pa mseu, mutha kuyang'ananso ndikusankha zomwe mukufuna kusunga.

Sonkhanitsani katundu wawo

Ngati mnzanu wasiya zinthu kumbuyo, njira yolemekezeka ndikuzilemba mpaka nthawi yoti musalumikizane idadutsa. Kenako, tumizani uthenga waulemu kuwadziwitsa kuti muli ndi katundu wawo. Perekani chilichonse chomwe adasiya mwadala kapena ananena kuti sakufuna.

Ngati muli ndi abwenzi ambiri ogwirizana

Anzanu apamtima adzafuna kudziwa zomwe zinachitika banja litatha. Nthawi zambiri zimakhala bwino kupewa kupewa tsatanetsatane. Amatha kupeza nkhani ziwiri zosiyana, ndipo miseche imatha kukhala vuto nthawi zina.

Ngati anzanu adamva zabodza pazomwe zidachitika, mungafune kugawana chowonadi. Yesetsani kupewa kukhumudwitsidwa ndipo perekani zowonazo modekha, osanena chilichonse cholakwika chokhudza mnzanu wakale.

Kumbukirani kuti anzanu atenga mbali. Simungapewe izi kapena kukakamiza aliyense kuti asunge ubalewo. Koma inu angathe pewani kusewera miseche ndi sewero pokana chidwi chokunena zoyipa za wakale.

Pomaliza, ndibwino kuti mupewe kufunsa abwenzi nkhani zaku bwenzi lanu lakale.

Ngati muli pachibwenzi cha polyamorous

Mukamagwiritsa ntchito kutha kwa poly, ndikofunikira kulingalira momwe kutha kwa mnzanuyo kumakhudzira maubwenzi ena.

Khalani omasuka kufotokoza zakukhosi kwanu

Kutsatira kutha kwa bwenzi limodzi, mutha kukhala kuti mukuyandikira, mwakuthupi komanso mwamalingaliro, kwa anzanu ena.

Komabe, mutha kumva:

• kunyinyirika ndi kukondana
• osatetezeka
• osakhudzidwa ndi zochitika zanu zachizolowezi

Maganizo anu ndi malingaliro anu onse ndi ovomerezeka, ndipo anzanu achifundo amvetsetsa kuti mukukumana ndi zovuta. Ayenera kuti apereke chithandizo ngakhale angathe. Ingokumbukirani kuti nawonso atha kukhala ndi nkhawa pakutha kwanu.

Auzeni momasuka za momwe mukumvera ndikuyesera kulumikizana zomwe aliyense amafunikira kuchokera pa nthawi ya kusinthaku.

Kambiranani za masitepe otsatira

Mukamazolowera kukhala ndi mnzake m'modzi, mungafune kukambirana ndi anzanu apano za:

• njira zomwe ubale wanu ungasinthire kwakanthawi (mwachitsanzo, mwina simungakhale ndi chidwi chochepa pakukondana kwakanthawi)
• malire atsopano omwe inu (kapena iwo) mukufuna kukhazikitsa pachibwenzi chanu
• momwe mungasamalire zochitika zomwe mungaone mnzanu wakale

Tengani msewu wapamwamba

Apanso, pewani kulankhula zoipa za mnzanu wakale. Izi ndizofunikira makamaka ngati m'modzi mwa anzanu ali pachibwenzi ndi bwenzi lanu lakale.

Kupatulapo? Ngati bwenzi lanu limakuchitirani nkhanza kapena kukuyika pachiwopsezo, kungakhale kwanzeru kudziwitsa anzanu.

Palibe vuto kupempha thandizo

Kutha kwanthawi zambiri kumakhala kovuta. Anzanu ndi abale atha kukuthandizani ndikukuthandizani kuti musamve nokha, koma nthawi zina sikokwanira.

Ganizirani kufikira wodwala, yemwe angakuthandizeni:

• zindikirani njira zopewera kuthana nazo ndikuzisintha ndi zina zabwino
• kuthana ndi kutsutsa malingaliro osapitilira
• kuthana ndi zovuta zakusokonekera kapena kuzunzidwa
• gwiritsani ntchito pulani yamtsogolo

Ngati mukuganiza kuti kutha kwa banja ndi chifukwa chomveka chothandizidwira, ndizotheka. M'malo mwake, othandizira ambiri amakhazikika pothandiza anthu kuthana ndi kutha kwachisoni.

Ndikofunikira kwambiri kupeza thandizo ngati:

• kumva kupsinjika
• mukhale ndi malingaliro odzivulaza nokha kapena ena
• pitirizani kuyesera kulumikizana ndi wakale wanu kapena kuganiza zokumana nawo pafupipafupi

Kubwezeretsa kutha kwa banja kumatenga nthawi - mwina kuposa momwe mungafunire. Koma yesetsani kukumbukira kuti zinthu zidzakhala zosavuta pakapita nthawi. Pakadali pano, khalani odekha nanu ndipo musazengereze kufikira ngati mukufuna thandizo.