Chifukwa Chake ‘Sindikugonjetsa’ Kuda nkhawa kapena ‘Kupita Kunkhondo’ ndi Kukhumudwa

Zamkati

• Kuyang'ana mitundu yakale m'njira yatsopano
• Kuphunzira kusiya
• Kuyika kudzipereka kuchitapo kanthu
• Sinthani nkhaniyo
• Yesetsani njira yachitatu
• Funsani thandizo
• Thandizo liri kunja uko

Ndimamva kuti china chake chanzeru chikuchitika ndikapanda kusandutsa thanzi langa lamisala kukhala mdani.

Ndakana malemba azamisala kwakanthawi. Kwa zaka zambiri zaunyamata wanga komanso unyamata, sindinauze aliyense kuti ndimakhala ndi nkhawa kapena kukhumudwa.

Ndinazisunga ndekha. Ndidakhulupirira kuti kuyankhula za izi kumalimbitsa.

Zambiri zomwe zinandichitikira panthawiyi zinali zovuta, ndipo ndinkadutsamo ndekha. Ndinkapewa matenda opatsirana komanso sindinkakhulupirira madokotala azachipatala. Zonsezi zidatha nditakhala mayi.

Pamene anali ine ndekha, ndimatha kupukusa ndikupirira. Ndinkatha kuthana ndi nkhawa ndikakhumudwa, ndipo palibe amene anali wanzeru kwambiri. Koma mwana wanga wandiyitana. Ngakhale ndili mwana, ndimawona momwe malingaliro anga obisika adakhudzira machitidwe ake komanso moyo wabwino.

Ndikamaoneka wonyezimira panja koma ndikumangokhala ndi nkhawa pansi, mwana wanga ankasewera. Akuluakulu omwe anali pafupi nane sanathe kuzindikira chilichonse, mwana wanga wamwamuna adawonetsa kudzera m'zochita zake kuti amadziwa kuti china chake chachitika.

Izi zinali zowonekeratu tikamayenda.

Ndikadakhala ndi nkhawa m'mene timakonzekera ulendo wa pandege, mwana wanga wamwamuna amayamba kuwuluka pamakoma. Maluso ake omvera onse adatuluka pazenera. Amawoneka kuti apeza mphamvu zopanda umunthu.

Adasandulika mpira wokhomerera pamzere wachitetezo, ndipo zidatengera chilichonse chomwe ndimayang'ana kuti ndimuwombere alendo kapena kugunda sutikesi ya wina. Mavutowa amakwera mpaka nditapuma pang'ono pachipata chathu.

Nditakhazikika, adakhala wodekha.

Nditazindikira kulumikizana pakati pamtima wanga ndi nthawi zake zokwanira kuti sizingakhale zomveka, ndinayamba kuyesetsa. Ndinayamba kuzindikira kuti sindingathe kuchita ndekha, kuti zinandipangitsa kukhala kholo labwino kupempha thandizo.

Ngakhale sindinkafuna kupempha thandizo zikafika kwa ine, zonse zinali zosiyana pankhani ya mwana wanga.

Komabe, ndikafuna chithandizo chazizindikiro za nkhawa komanso kukhumudwa, sindimayandikira ngati masewera a zero-sum.

Ndiye kuti, sindine motsutsana ndi thanzi langa lamisala.

Kuyang'ana mitundu yakale m'njira yatsopano

Ngakhale kusiyana kumawoneka ngati masantiki, ndimamva china chake chobisika ndikapanda kupanga thanzi langa lamisala kukhala mdani.

M'malo mwake, ndimaganiza za nkhawa komanso kukhumudwa ngati zina mwazomwe zimandipangitsa kukhala munthu. Izi sizomwe ndili koma zokumana nazo zomwe zimabwera ndikupita.

Sindikumenyana nawo kwambiri momwe ndimawaonera akulowa ndikutuluka m'moyo wanga, ngati kamphepo kayaziyazi kotsegula nsalu yotchinga pazenera. Kukhalapo kwawo ndikosakhalitsa, ngakhale zitenge nthawi yayitali kuti idutse.

Sindiyenera kumverera ngati kuti ndili pankhondo. M'malo mwake, ndimatha kuganiza za madera odutsawa ngati alendo odziwika, zomwe zimawapangitsa kuti azimva kuti ndi osalakwa.

Izi sizikutanthauza kuti sinditenga njira zodzisamalira ndekha ndikukweza malingaliro anga. Ndimaterodi, ndipo ndaphunzira kuti ndiyenera kutero. Nthawi yomweyo, sindiyenera kugwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zochuluka kukana, kuwongolera, ndikuwongolera.

Ndimatha kupanga malire pakati pa kusamalira ndikuwongolera. Kuchotsa njira yakuya kumatenga mphamvu zochulukirapo. Kuzindikira kuti yabwera kudzacheza kumatenga china chosiyana.

Chinachake ndi kuvomereza.

Ndimakhala ndi mpumulo waukulu ndikudzikumbutsa kuti sindiyenera "kukonza" malingaliro anga. Sakulakwitsa kapena kuyipa. Iwo ali basi. Pochita izi, ndimatha kusankha kuti ndisazindikire nawo.

M'malo mongoti, "Ayi, ndikumvanso nkhawa. Chifukwa chiyani sindingomva bwino? Chavuta ndi chiyani ndi ine? " Nditha kunena kuti, "Thupi langa limanjenjemera. Sikumva kwabwino, koma ndikudziwa kuti zitha. "

Nkhawa nthawi zambiri zimangokhala yankho lokha, ndipo sindimatha kuzilamulira zikavuta. Ndikakhala komweko, ndimatha kumenya nkhondo, kuthawa, kapena kudzipereka.

Ndikamenya nkhondo, nthawi zambiri ndimapeza kuti ndimachilimbitsa. Ndikathamanga, ndimapeza kuti ndimangopeza mpumulo wakanthawi.Koma munthawi zochepa zomwe ndimatha kudzipereka ndikulola kuti zidutse mwa ine, sindikupatsa mphamvu iliyonse.

Alibe mphamvu pa ine.

Kuphunzira kusiya

Chida chodabwitsa chomwe ndagwiritsa ntchito chomwe chimaphunzitsa njira iyi "yodzipereka" ku nkhawa ndi ILovePanicAttacks.com. Woyambitsa ndi Geert, bambo waku Belgium yemwe adakhala ndi nkhawa komanso kuchita mantha nthawi yayitali.

Geert adadzipereka yekha kuti athetse nkhawa yake, ndikugawana zomwe adapeza kudzera munjira yake yodzichepetsa komanso yotsika.

Kuchokera pakusintha kwa zakudya mpaka kusinkhasinkha, Geert adayesa chilichonse. Ngakhale siwodalirika wazachipatala, amagawana zomwe adakumana nazo zowona ngati munthu weniweni wofunafuna kukhala moyo wopanda mantha. Chifukwa ulendowu ndi weniweni komanso wodziwika bwino, ndimawona malingaliro ake kukhala otsitsimula.

Maphunzirowa ndi njira inayake yotchedwa tsunami method. Lingaliro ndilakuti ngati mudzilola kuti mudzipereke, mofanana ndi momwe mungachitire ngati mungatengeke ndi mafunde akulu, mutha kungoyandama ndikumva nkhawa m'malo mokana.

Nditayesa, ndikulangiza njirayi ngati njira ina pamantha komanso nkhawa. Ndikumasula kwambiri kuzindikira kuti mutha kusiya nkhondo yolimbana ndi mantha ndipo m'malo mwake mudzilole kuyandama nayo.

Lingaliro lomweli lingakhale loona pakukhumudwa, koma zikuwoneka mosiyana pang'ono.

Vuto la vuto la kukhumudwa likachitika, ndimawona kuti ndiyenera kupitilizabe. Ndiyenera kupitiliza kulimbitsa thupi, kupitiriza kugwira ntchito yanga, kupitiriza kusamalira mwana wanga, kupitiriza kudya nyama yanga yankhumba. Ndiyenera kuchita izi ngakhale zitakhala zovuta kwenikweni.

Koma zomwe sindiyenera kuchita ndikudziyimba mlandu kuti ndimamva choncho. Sindiyenera kukhala ndi vuto ndi malingaliro anga lomwe limatchula zifukwa zonse zomwe ndikulephera monga munthu ndipo motero ndikukumana ndi kukhumudwa.

Pakadali pano m'moyo wanga, ndili ndi chitsimikizo kuti palibe mzimu padziko lapansi womwe sunakhalepo wokhumudwa kamodzi m'moyo wawo. Ndikukhulupiriradi kuti kutengeka mtima kwathunthu ndi gawo chabe lazomwe zimachitikira anthu.

Izi sizoyambitsa kukhumudwa kwamankhwala. Ndimalimbikitsadi kuti kukhumudwa kumatha ndipo kuyenera kuthandizidwa ndi akatswiri azachipatala. Mankhwalawa angawoneke mosiyana kwambiri ndi munthu wina.

Ndikulankhula za kusintha kwa malingaliro momwe ndimakhudzira zokumana nazo zapanikizika. M'malo mwake, kusiya kulimbana ndi matenda anga kunandipangitsa kufunafuna chithandizo poyambirira. Sindinkaopanso kuti andilemba.

M'malo molola malingaliro awa kuti andidziwitse monga munthu, ndimatha kutenga malingaliro ena. Ndikutha kunena kuti, "Pano ndikukumana ndi umunthu kwambiri." Sindiyenera kudziweruza ndekha.

Ndikayang'ana motere, sindimva kuwawa, ocheperapo, kapena kudzipatula panonso. Ndikumva kuti ndili wolumikizidwa kwambiri ndi anthu. Uku ndikusintha kofunikira kwambiri, chifukwa zambiri zondichititsa kukhumudwa komanso kuda nkhawa zidayamba chifukwa chakumverera kuti sindimalumikizidwa.

Kuyika kudzipereka kuchitapo kanthu

Ngati izi zikuwoneka zosangalatsa, pali zinthu zingapo zomwe mungayesere kuzichita.

Sinthani nkhaniyo

M'malo mongogwiritsa ntchito mawu ngati "Ndili ndi nkhawa," munganene kuti "Ndikukumana ndi kukhumudwa."

Ndikaganiza za "kukhala" ndi kukhumudwa, ndimaganiza kuti ndimanyamula mozungulira chikwama kumbuyo kwanga. Ndikaganiza zokumana nazo, ndimatha kuyika chikwama pansi. Zikungodutsa. Silikukwera ulendo.

Kungosiya zomwe muli nazo kungapangitse kusiyana kwakukulu. Ndikapanda kuzindikira za matenda anga amisala, amandigwira.

Ngakhale zimawoneka zazing'ono, mawu ali ndi mphamvu zambiri.

Yesetsani njira yachitatu

Timangoyenda nawo pankhondo kapena kuthawa. Ndi zachilengedwe zokha. Koma tikhoza kusankha njira ina. Ndiko kuvomereza.

Kuvomereza ndikudzipereka ndikosiyana ndikuthawa, chifukwa ngakhale pothawa tikutengapo kanthu. Kudzipereka ndikothandiza kwambiri ndipo kumakhala kovuta chifukwa, kwenikweni, sikugwira ntchito. Kudzipereka ndikutulutsa chifuniro chanu.

Njira imodzi yochitira izi ndikulandira kukhumudwa ndi nkhawa monga malingaliro anu. Maganizo athu siife ndife, ndipo amatha kusintha.

Kudzipereka kotereku sikukutanthauza kuti tangodzipereka ndikukwawa kubwerera pabedi. Zikutanthauza kuti timapereka zosowa zathu kuti tikonze, kuti tikhale osiyana ndi momwe ife tiriri, ndipo tikhoza kungovomereza zomwe tikukumana nazo pakalipano.

Njira ina yodziperekera, makamaka mukakhala ndi nkhawa, ndiyo kugwiritsa ntchito njira ya tsunami.

Funsani thandizo

Kupempha thandizo ndi njira ina yodziperekera. Tengani kwa wazovala zoyera yemwe nthawi zambiri amapewa chiopsezo zivute zitani.

Zinthu zikafika pochulukirapo, nthawi zina kufikira ndi chinthu chokhacho choti muchite. Palibe munthu padziko lapansi amene wapita kutali kuti akathandizidwe, ndipo pali mamiliyoni a akatswiri, odzipereka, komanso anthu wamba omwe amafuna kupereka.

Nditakana zaka zambiri, ndinaganiza zosintha njira yanga.

Nditatero, mnzake kwenikweni anandithokoza pomufikira. Anandiuza kuti zimamupangitsa kumva kuti akuchita zabwino, ngati ali ndi cholinga chokulirapo. Ndidakhala womasuka kumva kuti sindinakhale cholemetsa, ndipo ndidakondwera kuti adawona kuti ndamuthandizanso.

Ndinazindikira kuti kubweza mmbuyo kumatilepheretsa kulumikizana kwambiri. Nditaulula zofooka zanga, kulumikizanako kunachitika mwachilengedwe.

Popempha thandizo, sikuti tikungolola kuti tithandizidwe, koma tikutsimikiziranso umunthu wa omwe timalola kutithandiza. Ndi njira yotseka yotseka.

Sitingakhale ndi moyo popanda wina ndi mnzake, ndikuwonetsa kusatetezeka kumathetsa zopinga pakati pathu.

Thandizo liri kunja uko

Ngati inu kapena munthu wina yemwe mumamudziwa ali pamavuto ndipo akuganiza zodzipha kapena kudzivulaza, chonde funani chithandizo:

• Imbani 911 kapena nambala yantchito zadzidzidzi kwanuko.
• Itanani National Suicide Prevention Lifeline ku 800-273-8255.
• Tumizani HOME ku Crisis Textline ku 741741.
• Osati ku United States? Pezani mndandanda wothandizira m'dziko lanu ndi Abwenzi Anu Padziko Lonse.

Mukadikirira thandizo kuti lifike, khalani nawo ndikuchotsa zida zilizonse kapena zinthu zomwe zitha kuvulaza.

Ngati simuli m'banja limodzi, khalani ndi foni mpaka thandizo litafika.

Crystal Hoshaw ndi mayi, wolemba, komanso wodziwa yoga kwa nthawi yayitali. Adaphunzitsiranso muma studio apayekha, malo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi, komanso m'malo a munthu m'modzi ku Los Angeles, Thailand, ndi San Francisco Bay Area. Amagawana njira zokumbukira nkhawa kudzera pa intaneti. Mutha kumupeza pa Instagram.