Chifukwa Chofunika Kwambiri Ndikulera Mwana Wanga Kuti Akhale Wothamanga (Zomwe Zilibe Chochita Ndi Kulimbitsa Thupi)

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"Pita mofulumira!" Mwana wanga wamkazi adafuula titafika ku thamangaDisney Kids Dashes pa Star Wars Rival Run Weekend ku Walt Disney World ku Florida. Ndi mpikisano wachitatu wa Disney kwa wothamanga wanga wachinyamata. Amapanganso makalasi ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi, kusambira, ndi kuvina, kukwera njinga yamoto yovundikira (chisoti chovala, ndithudi) ndikusintha racket ya tenisi kwinaku akufuula, "Mpira!" Ndipo ndi mpira, amatanthauza mpira. P.S. Ali ndi zaka ziwiri.

Amayi a kambuku? Mwina. Koma kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti atsikana omwe amachita nawo masewerawa amakhoza bwino, amadzidalira, komanso amakhala ndi nkhawa zochepa. Amakhalanso ndi mwayi wotsogola mtsogolo m'moyo.

Ngakhale kuti masewera atsikana aku sekondale ali ponseponse, malinga ndi kafukufuku wa National Federation of State High School Associations, akadatsalira anyamata ndi ophunzira opitilira 1.15 miliyoni. Nthawi yomweyo, kutenga nawo mbali pamasewera achichepere ochepera zaka 12 zawonongeka kuyambira 2008, malinga ndi Sports & Fitness Industry Association. Ndipo 70% ya othamanga achichepere awa adzafika pofika zaka 13, malinga ndi National Alliance for Sports. Chidaliro chachikazi pofanana ndi anyamata azaka 12-plummets ali ndi zaka 14.

Umboni ukusonyeza kuti kuwonetsa atsikana pachiwopsezo ndi kuzolowera kulephera kungakhale chinsinsi cholimbanirana ndi chidaliro. Masewera ndi njira imodzi yotsimikizirika yochitira zimenezo. Osewera nawo a Chikhulupiriro cha Atsikana Claire Shipman, Katty Kay, ndi Jillellyn Riley mu Nyanja ya Atlantic.

Ndawonapo kale kusiyana kwa jenda pamlingo wocheperako. Maphunziro a kusambira a mwana wanga wamkazi amakhala osakanizika ngakhale anyamata ndi atsikana; pambuyo pake, kusambira ndi luso la moyo. Koma gulu lake lovina ndi la atsikana okha komanso gulu lake lamasewera lili ndi anyamata awiri pamtsikana aliyense. (Ndipo inde, kuvina kopikisana ndi masewera ndi zonse ovina ndi othamanga.)

Koma ndimaona kuti aliyense ndi wofunika mofanana. Mu kuvina, anaphunzira njira zatsopano zosuntha, kuthamanga kwa akavalo ndi chimbalangondo chokwawa mumsewu wa New York City, zomwe zinandidabwitsa kwambiri. ' Ndipo iye wakhala amphamvu kwambiri, mwathupi, mkati mwake. Mwamuna wanga atapita naye ku New York City Ballet akusewera mumsewu wapafupi, wapansi pa Museum of Modern Art, adangodabwa ndi ovina akupumira pabwalo monga momwe amachitira. Tsopano akufunsa kuti ayang'ane "purrinas" pa TV ndikudziyesa kuti ma ballet ake ndi ma slippers a ballet.

Pa kalasi yamasewera, amaphunzira masewera atsopano sabata iliyonse, monga basketball komanso kuthamanga, baseball ndi kuponya, mpira ndi kukankha, komanso kuthamanga kwa shuttle, kulumpha kwa trampoline ndi zina zambiri. Masabata atadutsa, ndamuwona akubweretsa maluso amenewo kunyumba, ndikuponya mpira uliwonse womwe angapeze ndikuwombera mpira uliwonse womwe ungaphulike. Amafuna kusewera ndi racket yake ya tenisi pafupifupi tsiku lililonse. Lamulo lathu # 1? Osamumenya galu. (Zogwirizana: Ndine Wothokoza Kwa Makolo Omwe Anandiphunzitsa Kuphunzira Kukhala Olimba)

Ndipo akusambira? Adzalumphira m'madzi osathandizidwa, ndikumenyetsa mutu wake ndikubwera kutsokomola ndikumwetulira. Alibe mantha. Ndikukhulupirira kuti kukhala wothamanga kudzamuthandiza kukhala choncho.

Zoonadi, cholinga cha maseŵera olimbitsa thupi onsewo sikungomuthandiza kukhala wathanzi kapena kutopa, ngakhale kuti zimathandiza pa zonsezi. Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti zolimbitsa thupi zimathandizadi kusinkhasinkha komanso kukumbukira. Amaphunzitsa kukhala ophunzira bwino, osati wothamanga wabwinoko. Ndipo izi zimamasulira kukhala mwayi wopambana kusukulu. Ochita masewera amapeza bwino, amapita kusukulu zambiri, ndipo amakhala ndi maphunziro apamwamba kuposa omwe si othamanga, malinga ndi kafukufuku wambiri.

Kwa mtsikana, ndizofunika kwambiri monga kale. Ngati "Chaka Cha Mkazi" cha 2018 chatiphunzitsa chilichonse, ndi izi: Tiyenera kupatsa mphamvu atsikana munjira iliyonse yomwe tingathe. Sexism ndi yamoyo komanso moni, #MeToo-ndipo denga lagalasi ndilokhazikika. Kupatula apo, pali amuna ambiri otchedwa John omwe amayendetsa makampani a S&P 1500 kuposa akazi, malinga ndi Nyuzipepala ya New York Times. Ndipo malinga ndi lipoti la 2015, 4% yokha yamakampani (omwe amaimira 90% pamtengo wamsika waku US), anali ndi CEO wamkazi. Mu 2018, ndi 4.6 peresenti yokha yamakampani a Fortunes 500 omwe amayendetsedwa ndi azimayi. Zazikulu #facepalm.

Koma "Chaka cha Mkazi" chinafuulanso kuti: sititenganso. Tikhoza kuvutika kuti tilandire malipiro ofanana, ofanana, ndi kulemekezedwa monga amuna m'mafakitale ambiri komanso mbali zonse za anthu. Koma azimayi ambiri akuchita nawo ntchito za utsogoleri, monga azimayi achi 102 omwe akhala mnyumba yamalamulo chaka chino. Ndi mipando 435 ya nyumba, tili pafupifupi theka lofanana.

Kupatsa mwana wanga wamkazi-ndi ana athu onse-mphatso ya masewera ndi njira imodzi yofikira kumeneko. Pafupifupi 94% ya atsogoleri azimayi azamalonda mu ma C-suite ali ndi masewera, malinga ndi kafukufuku wa EY ndi ESPNW.

Kupatula apo, masewera ndi masewera ena ampikisano, nawonso-phunzitsani kudziletsa, utsogoleri, mgwirizano, kuwongolera nthawi, kulingalira mozama, kulimba mtima, ndi zina zambiri. Monga munthu wosambira wokonda mpikisano, ndinaphunzira kuti kulephera nthawi zambiri ndi njira yoyamba yopezera chipambano. Chaka chimodzi, timu yanga yolandirana idasiyidwa pamsonkhano mnzathu atachoka pamalowo molawirira kwambiri. Tinali tikugwiritsa ntchito njira ina yosinthira zinthu yomwe inali yovuta kwa tonsefe. Ali mwana, DQ inali yovuta kumeza. Zinali ngati vuto lalikulu. Chifukwa chake tidagwira ntchito mosatopa, ndikubowoleza masinthidwe athu mpaka tonse tidalumikizana. Pambuyo pake tidatenga mzerewu mpaka mpikisano waku Illinois, komwe tidakhala wachisanu m'boma.

Monga mnzake woyendetsa bwato, ndinaphunzira zomwe zimatanthauza kuti gulu limagwira ntchito chimodzimodzi komanso mophiphiritsa. Tinapalasa ngati mmodzi ndikumenyana ngati mmodzi. Ogwira ntchito anga atawona kuti zomwe aphunzitsi athu amachita sizabwino chabe koma zachiwerewere, tinapanga gulu kuti tikambirane. Ankatinyoza nthawi zonse. Iye ankakonda? Gulaye “ngati mtsikana” ngati chida. Zinatinyoza. Monga kaputeni, ndidakonza zokakumana naye komanso mtsogoleri wa pulogalamu yopalasa bwato kuti ndifotokozere nkhawa zanga. Chofunika kwa iwo sikuti amangomvera chabe; adamva. Adakhala mphunzitsi wabwino ndipo tidakhala gulu labwino pochita izi. Zoposa zaka 20 pambuyo pake, malingaliro amenewo komabe kuli ponseponse m'dera lathu. Ndizosadabwitsa kuti kampeni ya Nthawi Zonse #LikeAGirl idakumananso ndi azimayi ambiri.

Tsopano, ndine wothamanga. "Amayi thamangani mwachangu," akutero mwana wanga wamkazi akandiwona ndikumanga zigamba. Nthawi zina amandibweretsera nsapato ndikufuula, "Ndipita mwachangu!" Amakonda kuthamanga chokwera ndi kutsika mumsewu. "Mofulumira! Mofulumira!" iye amafuula pamene akuthamanga. Osadandaula kuti palibe aliyense wa ife amene ali wothamanga kwambiri. Amathamanga ngati Muppet, nthawi iliyonse komanso kulikonse komwe angathe. Koma titafika pamzere pa thamangaDisney Kids Dash, adandigwira. (Zogwirizana: Ndaphwanya Cholinga Changa Chachikulu Kwambiri Monga Amayi Atsopano Atsopano Zaka 40)

"Gwirani inu!" anatero kusonyeza kuti akufuna ndimunyamule. "Simukufuna kuthamanga?" Ndidafunsa. "Mphindi zochepa zapitazo mudathamanga ndikufuula, 'Pitani mwachangu!"

"Ayi, ndakugwira," adatero mokoma. Chifukwa chake ndidamunyamula ndikudutsa. Adachita grin from khutu mpaka khutu pomwe tidathamanga limodzi; kuloza ndikumwetulira pamene timayandikira Minnie Mbewa kumapeto. Anakumbatira Minnie (pomwe akuyankhulabe) ndipo munthu ongodzipereka atangopachika mendulo m'khosi mwake, adatembenukira kwa ine. "Tionananso Minnie. Ndithamanga!" adafuula "Chabwino, koma muthamangadi nthawi ino?" Ndidafunsa. "Inde!" iye anafuula. Ndinamuyika pansi ndipo anathamanga.

Ndinapukusa mutu wanga, ndikuseka. Zachidziwikire, sindingathe kupanga mwana wanga wamkazi amathamanga, kusambira, kuvina, kapena kuchita maseŵera ena aliwonse. Zomwe ndingathe kuchita ndikumupatsa mwayi, komanso chilimbikitso ndi chichirikizo. Ndikudziwa kuti zikhala zolimba akamakula, akamakopeka ndi anzawo komanso kutha msinkhu. Koma ndikufunanso kuti ndimupatse mwayi uliwonse wobangula. Ameneyo ndi amayi akambuku mwa ine.

Ndikayang'ana mwana wanga wamkazi, kodi ndimawona CEO wamtsogolo, congresswoman, kapena pro othamanga? Mwamtheradi, koma osati kwenikweni. Ndikufuna kuti akhale nawo mwina, ngati ndi zomwe akufuna. Ngati palibenso china, ndikuyembekeza kuti aphunzira kukonda kuyenda nthawi zonse. Ndikukhulupirira kuti adzakhala wamphamvu, wodzidalira, ndi wokhoza, wokonzeka kutenga chovala cha ukazi chomwe chimamuyembekezera. Ndikhulupilira kuti aphunzira kukumbatira zolephera ndikulankhula chowonadi ndi mphamvu, kaya ndi mphunzitsi wake, abwana ake kapena wina. Ndikukhulupirira kuti apeza kudzoza ndi thukuta, koma osati chifukwa ndikufuna kuti akhale ngati ine.

Ayi. Ndikufuna kuti akhale bwino.

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