Momwe Amawonongera Matumbo Anga Amandikakamiza Kuthana Ndi Thupi Langa Dysmorphia

Zamkati

• Kulimbana ndi Mbiri Yanga Yaitali ndi Body Dysmorphia
• Kuvomereza Moyo ndi Thupi Langa Monga Lilili
• Onaninso za

M'chaka cha 2017, mwadzidzidzi, ndipo popanda chifukwa chomveka, ndidayamba kuyang'ana pafupifupi miyezi itatu yapakati. Panalibe mwana. Kwa milungu ingapo ndimadzuka ndipo, choyamba, ndimayang'ana yemwe si mwana wanga. Ndipo m'mawa uliwonse kunalibe.

Ndinayesa njira yanga yodziwika bwino yochepetsera tirigu, mkaka, shuga, ndi mowa - koma zinthu zidangokulirakulira. Usiku wina ndidadziphatika ndikumasula ma jean anga pansi pa tebulo nditatha kudya, ndipo ndidakhudzidwa ndikumva kuti ndikuwona china chake chikulakwika ndi thupi langa. Pokhala ndekha, wofooka, ndi wamantha, ndinapita kukaonana ndi dokotala.

Pofika nthawi yoikidwiratu, zovala zanga zonse sizinali zoyenera, ndipo ndinali wokonzeka kudumpha kuchokera pakhungu langa. Kutupa ndi kukokana kunali kovuta kwambiri. Koma chowawa kwambiri chinali chithunzi chomwe ndidapanga m'malingaliro mwanga. M'malingaliro mwanga, thupi langa linali lalikulu ngati nyumba. Mphindi 40 zomwe ndimakhala ndikudwala matenda anga ndi adotolo zidakhala ngati kwamuyaya. Ndinazindikira zizindikirozo kale. Koma sindinkadziwa chomwe chinali cholakwika kapena choti ndichite. Ndinkafunika yankho, piritsi, a china, tsopano. Dokotala wanga adalamula kuyesedwa kwa magazi, mpweya, mahomoni ndi chopondapo. Iwo angatenge osachepera mwezi umodzi.

Mwezi umenewo, ndinabisala kuseri kwa malaya oterera komanso malamba olimba. Ndipo ndidadzilanga ndikuletsa zakudya zambiri, ndikudya zinthu zochepa kupatula mazira, masamba osakaniza, mawere a nkhuku, ndi mapeyala. Ndidadzikoka kuchoka pazinthu mpaka njira, kuyesa kuyesa. Pafupifupi milungu iwiri mkati, ndidabwera kunyumba kuchokera kuntchito kukawona kuti mayi yemwe amayeretsa nyumba yanga mwangozi adataya chida chondiyesa. Zingatenge masabata kuti ndipeze ina. Ndinagwa pansi ndi mulu wa misozi.

Zotsatira zonse zitabwera, dokotala wanga anandiitanira mkati. Ndinali ndi "zochotsa ma chart" a SIBO, kapena kuchuluka kwa bakiteriya m'matumbo, zomwe zimamveka chimodzimodzi. Mayi anga analira misozi yachisangalalo atazindikira kuti imachiritsidwa, koma ndinali wokwiya kwambiri kuti ndione kulimba kwa siliva.

"Zinatheka bwanji izi?" Ndinakwiya pamene dotolo wanga ankakonzekera kupita kuchipatala. Iye anafotokoza kuti chinali matenda ovuta. Kusalinganika koyambirira kukadatha kubweretsedwa ndi chifuwa cham'mimba kapena poyizoni wazakudya, koma pamapeto pake nthawi yayikulu yakupsinjika kwakukulu ndiomwe imayambitsa. Anandifunsa ngati ndinali ndi nkhawa. Ndinayamba kuseka monyodola.

Dokotala wanga anandiuza kuti kuti ndikhale bwino, ndimayenera kutsitsa mavitamini khumi ndi awiri tsiku lililonse, kudzipatsa jekeseni wa B12 sabata iliyonse, ndikudula tirigu, gluten, mkaka, soya, mowa, shuga, ndi caffeine pazakudya zanga zonse. Atatha kufotokoza, tinalowa m'chipinda choyeserera kuti tiwonetse kuwombera kwa B12. Ndinagwetsa buluku ndikukakhala patebulo la mayeso, mnofu wantchafu wanga ukufalikira pachikopa chozizira chomata. Ndinagwa pansi, thupi langa likumakhala ngati mwana wodwala. Pamene amakonza singanoyo, m’maso mwanga munagwetsa misozi ndipo mtima unayamba kuthamanga. (Zokhudzana: Zomwe Zimakhala Zotani Kukhala Pazakudya Zochotsa)

Sindinachite mantha ndi zipolopolozo kapena kuda nkhawa ndikusintha kwakadyedwe komwe ndimayenera kusintha. Ndinali kulira chifukwa panali vuto lalikulu lomwe ndinali wamanyazi kulankhula, ngakhale ndi dokotala wanga. Zoona zake n’zakuti, ndikanapanda gilateni, mkaka, ndi shuga kwa moyo wanga wonse zikanakhala kuti ndikanatha kupitiriza kugwira chifaniziro changa. Ndipo ndinali ndi mantha kuti masiku amenewo atha.

Kulimbana ndi Mbiri Yanga Yaitali ndi Body Dysmorphia

Kwa nthaŵi yonse imene ndikukumbukira, ndinagwirizanitsa kukhala wochepa thupi ndi kukondedwa. Ndimakumbukira ndikuuza wothandizira kamodzi, "Ndimakonda kudzuka ndikumva zopanda pake." Ndinkafuna kukhala wopanda kanthu kuti ndidzichepetse ndekha ndikuchoka. Ndili kusekondale, ndinayesa kuluza, koma sindinali waluso. Chaka changa chomaliza ku koleji, ndidachepa mpaka mapaundi 124 pa 5'9 ". Mphekesera zidazungulira zamatsenga zanga kuti ndimakhala ndi vuto la kudya. Mlongo yemwe ndimagona naye komanso wamatsenga, yemwe amandiyang'ana pafupipafupi ndikumanga mazira okazinga ndi chotupitsa buti pachakudya cham'mawa ma nachos ndi ma cocktails a ola losangalala, adagwira ntchito kuthetsa manong'onong'o, koma ndidawasangalatsa. Mphekesera izi zidandipangitsa kuti ndizimva kukhala wofunidwa kuposa momwe ndidakhalapo.

Nambala imeneyo, 124, idazungulira muubongo wanga kwazaka zambiri. Kusasinthasintha kwa ndemanga monga "Mumayika kuti?" kapena "Ndikufuna kukhala wowonda ngati iwe" adangotsimikizira zomwe ndimaganiza. Semesita yakumapeto kwa chaka chapamwamba, mnzanga wa m'kalasi anandiuza kuti ndimawoneka "wowoneka bwino koma osati wofooka kwambiri." Nthawi iliyonse munthu akafotokoza za chifanizo changa, zinali ngati kuwombera dopamine.

Nthawi yomweyo ndinkakondanso chakudya. Ndinalemba blog yabwino yazakudya kwa zaka zambiri. Sindinawerengepo zopatsa mphamvu. Sindinachite masewera olimbitsa thupi mopambanitsa. Madokotala ena amafotokoza nkhawa zawo, koma sindinazione. Ndinkachita opareshoni nthawi zonse poletsa zakudya, koma sindinkaganiza kuti ndili ndi anorexic. M'malingaliro mwanga, ndinali wathanzi lokwanira, ndipo ndimatha kuchita bwino.

Kwa zaka zoposa 10, ndinali ndi chizolowezi chowunika momwe ndakhalira wabwino. Ndi dzanja langa lamanzere, ndimangofika kumbuyo kwa nthiti zanga zakumanja. Ndinawerama pang'ono m'chiuno ndikugwira mnofu pansipa pamunsi pa bulangeti yanga. Kudzidalira kwanga konse kunali kozikidwa pa zimene ndinamva panthaŵiyo. Kutsika pang'ono kwa nyama ndi nthiti zanga kuli bwino. Pamasiku abwino, kumveka bwino kwa mafupa anga motsutsana ndi zala zanga, palibe mnofu wotuluka mu bra wanga, kunatumiza mafunde a chisangalalo mthupi langa.

M'dziko lazinthu zomwe sindinathe kuzilamulira, thupi langa ndichomwe ndimatha. Kuchepetsa thupi kunandipangitsa kukhala wokongola kwa amuna. Kuchepetsa thupi kunandipangitsa kukhala wamphamvu kwambiri pakati pa akazi. Luso lovala zothina linandikhazika mtima pansi. Kuwona momwe ndimawonera zazing'ono pazithunzi kunandipangitsa kukhala wolimba. Kukhoza kusunga thupi langa kukhala lodekha, limodzi, ndi mwaudongo kunandipangitsa kumva kuti ndine wotetezeka. (Zogwirizana: Lili Reinhart Adapanga Mfundo Yofunika Yokhudza Thupi la Dysmorphia)

Koma kenako ndidadwala, ndipo maziko a kudziona kuti ndine wofunika makamaka kutengera m'mimba mwanga adagwa.

SIBO idapangitsa kuti zonse zizimva kukhala zosatetezeka komanso zosalamulirika. Sindinafune kupita kukadya ndi anzanga kuopa kuti sindingathe kumamatira ku zakudya zanga zokhwima. Nditatupa, ndinkadziona kuti sindimusangalatsa, choncho ndinasiya chibwenzi. M'malo mwake, ndimagwira ntchito ndipo ndimagona. Loweruka ndi Lamlungu lililonse ndinkachoka mumzindawo n’kupita kunyumba ya ubwana wanga kumpoto. Kumeneko ndimatha kuwongolera zomwe ndimadya, ndipo sindinkafunika kulola aliyense kundiona mpaka nditakhala wowonda monga momwe ndimafuniranso. Tsiku lililonse ndinkaima kutsogolo kwa galasi n’kumayang’ana m’mimba kuti ndione ngati kutupa kwayamba kuchepa.

Moyo unali wotuwa. Kwa nthawi yoyamba, ndinazindikira kuti kufunitsitsa kwanga kuonda kunandipangitsa kukhala wosasangalala. Kunja ndinali wowonda mwangwiro ndi wopambana ndi wokongola. Koma mkati mwanga sindinkakhala womasuka komanso wosasangalala, ndinkangogwira zolimba thupi langa mwamphamvu kotero kuti ndinali ndikutsamwa. Ndinali wotopa podzipangitsa kukhala wamng'ono kuti ndipeze chivomerezo ndi chikondi. Ndinafunitsitsa kutuluka pobisala. Ndinkafuna kulola winawake kuti potsiriza alole aliyense kuti andiwone momwe ndinali.

Kuvomereza Moyo ndi Thupi Langa Monga Lilili

Chakumapeto kwa nthawi yophukira, monga momwe dokotala wanga ananenera, ndinayamba kumva bwino kwambiri. Chifukwa cha Thanksgiving, ndinatha kusangalala ndi kudzaza ndi chitumbuwa cha dzungu popanda mimba yanga ikuphulika ngati baluni. Ndidakwanitsa kupyola miyezi yowonjezerapo. Ndinali ndi mphamvu zokwanira kupita ku yoga. Ndinapita kukadya ndi anzanga kachiwiri.Pizza ndi pasitala zinali zidakali patebulo, koma nyama yamchere, masamba okazinga a batala, ndi chokoleti chakuda zidatsika popanda vuto.

Nthawi yomweyo, ndidayamba kuwunikiranso za chibwenzi changa. Ndinali woyenera kukondedwa, ndipo kwa nthawi yoyamba patapita nthawi yayitali, ndinadziwa. Ndinali wokonzeka kusangalala ndi moyo wanga momwe zimakhalira, ndipo ndimafuna kugawana nawo.

Miyezi isanu ndi itatu pambuyo pake ndinadzipeza ndekha pa tsiku loyamba ndi mnyamata yemwe ndinakumana naye mu yoga. Chimodzi mwa zinthu zomwe ndimakonda kwambiri kwa iye ndi momwe amasangalalira ndi chakudya. Pa ma hot fudge sundaes, tidakambirana za buku lomwe ndimawerenga, Akazi, Chakudya ndi Mulungu, Wolemba Geneen Roth. M'menemo, alemba: "Kuyesa kosalekeza kukhala woonda kumakutengerani kutali ndi zomwe zingathetse kuvutika kwanu: kubwereranso ndi zomwe muli. Chikhalidwe chanu chenicheni.

Kudzera mwa SIBO, ndakwanitsa kutero. Ndidakali ndi masiku anga. Masiku omwe sindingathe kudziyang'ana pagalasi. Ndikafikira nyama kumbuyo kwanga. Ndikayang'ana mawonekedwe am'mimba mwanga m'malo onse owunikira. Kusiyanitsa ndikuti sindimachedwa chifukwa cha manthawa tsopano.

Masiku ambiri, sindidandaula kwambiri za momwe matako anga amawonekera ndikadzuka pabedi. Sindimapewa kugonana ndikatha kudya kwambiri. Ndinaloleza chibwenzi changa (eya, munthu yemweyo) kuti andigwire m'mimba tikadziphatana. Ndaphunzira kusangalala ndi thupi langa pomwe ndikulimbanabe, monga ambiri a ife timachitira, ndi ubale wovuta ndi chakudya.

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