Malangizo 7 Oyankhulirana Pamaphwando a Tchuthi

Zamkati

• Konzekerani Zokambirana
• Lankhulani Nokha Pamwamba
• Sewerani "Masewera Olankhula"
• Kumbukirani Kutsatira
• Pewani "Opha Kukambirana"
• Gwadirani Mwachisomo
• Kupumira
• Onaninso za

Gulu loyamba loyitanira anthu kumaphwando atchuthi layamba kufika. Ndipo ngakhale pali zambiri zokonda pamisonkhano yachikondwereroyi, kukumana ndi anthu ambiri atsopano ndikukambirana zazing'ono kungakhale zolemetsa-ngakhale kwa iwo obadwa ndi mphatso ya gab.

"Ambiri a ife timakhala odzikonda kwambiri munthawi izi, ndipo timaganiza kuti aliyense m'chipindacho azindikira kuti tiribe wina woti tizilankhula naye kapena akudziwa kuti tikumva kukhala osasangalala," atero katswiri wazamalankhulidwe ang'onoang'ono a Debra Fine, wolemba Kupitilira Mameseji ndipo Luso Labwino Loyankhula Kwakung'ono. Chosangalatsa, akuti sizabodza. Paphwando, aliyense (kupatula wokhala nawo alendo) akuganiza za iwo eni-zovala zawo, abwenzi awo, ndi malingaliro awo mtsogolo. Iwo sakudabwa konse chifukwa chake mukuyima nokha ndi mbale ya tchizi. (Chifukwa chake musachite mantha-ngakhale mungafune kuwerenga Malangizo Othandiza Kuti Musapewe Kudya Kwambiri Paphwando La Tchuthi.)

Njira yosavuta yodziwira bwino nkhani zazing'ono, akutero Fine, ndikutuluka pamutu pako. "Nthawi zonse muyenera kuganizira zolemetsa za mnzanu amene mumacheza naye," akutero. Mukasiya kudandaula za momwe ndiwe kutsika ndikuyamba kuyang'ana pakupangitsa munthu wina kukhala womasuka, kusatetezeka kumagwa, kukusiyani kuti mukhale omasuka. Malangizo asanu ndi atatuwa adzakuthandizani kuchita chimodzimodzi.

Konzekerani Zokambirana

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Pamaso pa phwandolo, lingalirani mafunso angapo. (Kwa nthawi ino ya chaka, Fine akupereka lingaliro lakuti, “Kodi zolinga zanu [zantchito, maulendo, tchuthi, ndi zina zotero] za chaka chamawa ndi zotani?” “Kodi mukupanga zigamulo zilizonse za Chaka Chatsopano?” ndi “Zolinga zanu zatchuthi ndi zotani—zosangalatsa zilizonse. miyambo?”) Kenako tchulani nkhani zingapo zimene mungakambirane mukafunsidwa. Mwinamwake mukuphunzitsa mpikisano wothamanga kapena banja lanu likubwera kudzacheza. Mwanjira iyi, mudzakhala ndi chakudya chonse chomwe mungafune kuti mupewe zovuta.

Lankhulani Nokha Pamwamba

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Ngati simukudziwa wina aliyense paphwando, kudzidziwitsa nokha kungakhale kochititsa mantha. Kuti izi zitheke, a Bill Lampton, Ph.D., Purezidenti wa Championship Communication, akuwonetsa kuti mungayankhule za inu nokha. Choyamba, ingodzidziwitsani nokha. Kenaka, bweretsani mutu wanu wosankha, womwe ungakhale wosavuta monga momwe mumadziwira wotsogolera phwando kapena zovuta monga momwe nyengo imakhudzira ndondomeko yanu ya ntchito, ("Mnyamata, ndine wotanganidwa. November ndi mwezi wathu wotanganidwa kwambiri kuntchito!" ). Pomaliza, pemphani mnzanu wolankhulayo kuti anene motere: "Kodi ntchito yanu ikugwiranso ntchito nthawi ino ya chaka?" Bam-instant convo!

Sewerani "Masewera Olankhula"

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Msampha womwe anthu ambiri amagweramo ndikuyankha mafunso a anthu ena mosakwanira, atero a Fine. Ndizomveka. Pambuyo pake, "Chatsopano ndi chiyani?" nthawi zambiri imakhala ndi code ya "Moni." Koma pamene mukuyesera kupanga zokambirana zazing'ono, kuyankha, "Osati zambiri, inu?" ndi choletsa kukambirana. M'malo mwake, Fine akuti apange mfundo yopereka yankho lenileni. "Ngati wina akufunsa kuti, 'Kodi tchuthi chanu chakhala bwanji?' m'malo mongonena zabwino, ndinganene kuti, 'Zabwino, ana anga onse akubwera kuchokera kummawa kudzakhala nafe sabata imodzi. Ndikuyembekezera mwachidwi.' "Mwanjira imeneyi, akuti, mwadzipereka mpaka mitu yambiri yokambirana-ana anu, maulendo atchuthi, alendo, ndi zina zambiri.

Kumbukirani Kutsatira

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Ngakhale mukusewera masewera ochezera ngati pro, munthu amene mukulankhula naye sangakhale. Ngati mukupatsidwa mayankho amawu amodzi, funsani mozama, atero a Fine. “Muyenera kutsimikizira kuti simunangotanthauza ‘Moni’ pamene munati ‘Zikuyenda bwanji?’” akufotokoza motero. “Ngati ayankha kuti, ‘Chabwino,’ khalani okonzekera kutsatiridwa, monga kuti, ‘Chatsopano n’chiyani ndi inu kuyambira nthawi yotsiriza imene ndinakuonani?’” (Musaphonye Why Conversations Go Wrong-and How to Fix Them.)

Pewani "Opha Kukambirana"

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Lamulo labwino la chala chachikulu ndikuti mupewe kufunsa chilichonse chomwe simukudziwa yankho lake, atero a Fine. Izi zikutanthauza kuti ayi "Bwana wako ali bwanji?" ngati simukudziwa motsimikiza kuti adakali limodzi, ayi "Kodi ntchito yanu ili bwanji?" Pokhapokha mutatsimikizira kuti akugwirabe ntchito kumeneko, ndipo palibe "Mudalowa ku Penn State?" pokhapokha mutadziwa. Gwiritsitsani mafunso okulirapo, monga "Ndi chiyani chatsopano?" kapena "Zolinga zilizonse za chaka chamawa?"

Gwadirani Mwachisomo

Wapanikizidwa ndi Cathy wocheza kuyambira pomwe mudalowa? Ganizirani kuchokera kwa owonetsa zokambirana. Akakhala kuti ataya nthawi pagulu lazofalitsa, awonetsa omwe akuwafunsayo kuti, "Pali nthawi yofunsanso funso limodzi," kapena "Tatsala ndi mphindi imodzi yokha ..."

Zachidziwikire, simungakhale osalongosoka m'moyo weniweni, koma yesani kusiya malingaliro-kapena, monga Fine amachitchulira, "kuponyera mbendera yoyera." Choyamba, zindikirani zomwe munthu winayo wakhala akunena: "Oo, ana anu akumva kuti achita bwino." Kenako yanikitsani mbendera yoyera kuti: "Ndangowona mnzanga akubwera ndipo ndikufuna kunena kuti…" Ndipo potsiriza, perekani ndemanga komaliza kapena funso. "... koma ndisanatero, ndiuzeni, kodi Sally adayamba bwanji kuchita ma SAT ake?" "Izi zimapangitsa nonse kutuluka ndi ulemu," akutero a Fine.

Kupumira

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Ngati muli ndi chidwi, chamanyazi, kapena kungomva kutopa kapena kudwala, maphwando amatha kukhala opanikiza. Ndicho chifukwa chake Fine akuganiza kuti mudzipumire nokha. Asanayambe kusonkhana, amadzipangira cholinga - nthawi zambiri ngati kulankhula ndi anthu awiri kapena atatu atsopano. Akakwaniritsa zomwe adamupatsa, amakhala ndi nthawi yopuma, kupumula yekha. Izi zimamupatsa chilimbikitso chowonjezerapo kuti azicheza, osapsa mtima-kumutsimikizira kuti adzakhala ndi nthawi yabwino.

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