8 ya Life's Biggest Shake-Ups, Solved

Zamkati

• Mukuyenda
• Mukudutsa Kusudzulana
• Mukukwatiwa
• Bwenzi Lanu Lapamtima Akuchoka
• Mumataya Ntchito Yanu
• Ndiwe Oyembekezera Kwa Nthawi Yoyamba
• Wina Amene Mumakonda Amalandira Nkhani Zoopsa
• Imfa Yoyandikira Kwathu
• Onaninso za

Chokhacho chokha m'moyo ndicho kusintha. Tonse tamva malankhulidwewa, koma ndi zowona-ndipo zitha kukhala zowopsa. Anthu monga chizoloŵezi, ndi kusintha kwakukulu, ngakhale olandiridwa - kutenga pakati kapena kukwatiwa, mwachitsanzo-kungayambitse mtundu wina wachisoni pamene mukuchoka pa zomwe mumazidziwa kupita ku zosadziwika, akutero Cheryl Eckl, wolemba mabuku. Njira Yowunikira: Kukhala Pamphepete mwa Kusintha kwa Razor.

Koma popeza moyo umakhala wodzaza ndi kusintha kumeneku, ndibwino kuti tiphunzire momwe tingasinthire. Kupatula apo, kukumbatira kusintha-m'malo molimbana nako-kudzakupatsani mphamvu. Pano, zisanu ndi zitatu zazikuluzikulu zogwedezeka m'moyo, zonse zachimwemwe ndi zachisoni, ndi momwe mungayang'anire chilichonse ndi bata.

Mukuyenda

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"Nyumba yathu ikuyimira zakale, zokumbukira, chitetezo, komanso kutsimikizika. Tikasuntha, zonsezi zimagwedezeka," akutero Ariane de Bonvoisin, wokamba nkhani, mphunzitsi, komanso wolemba Masiku 30 Oyamba: Kalozera Wanu Wopanga Kusintha Kulikonse Kukhala Kosavuta.

Langizo lake labwino kwambiri: Mukamanyamula katundu, perekani momwe mungathere - musamamatire kuzinthu zakale kuti mutonthozedwe. Iye anati: “Tikasiya zinthu zakale, timakhala ndi mwayi woti tipeze zatsopano, zokumana nazo zatsopano, anthu atsopano, ngakhalenso zinthu zatsopano zomwe zikubwera m'miyoyo yathu. Komabe, sungani zolemba zanu, monga magazini, zojambula za ana, ndi zithunzi za mabanja. Sikuti zinthuzi zili ndi tanthauzo lenileni, komanso zingakuthandizeni kusintha nyumba yanu yatsopano kukhala nyumba.

Mukasamuka, pangani nyumba yanu yatsopano kukhala yosangalatsa komanso yabwino msanga kuti mudzimve kuti ndinu olimba. Ndizinthu zazing'ono zomwe zimathandiza, de Bonvoisin akuti. Ndipo muziyenda mozungulira mdera lanu latsopanolo - pezani malo abwino ogulitsira khofi, malo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi, paki yatsopano, ndipo yesetsani kukhala omasuka komanso ochezeka kwa aliyense.

Mukudutsa Kusudzulana

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"Kutha kwa banja ndi njira yotayika-umataya dzina la wokwatirana naye, nyumba yako, chiyembekezo chako ndi mapulani ako mtsogolo ndi munthu ameneyo, chifukwa chake zimabweretsa chisoni," akutero Karen Finn, Ph.D., Wopanga Njira Yogwirira Ntchito Yothetsa Mabanja. Ndipo ngakhale mutakhala kuti simunakondane ndi wakale wanu, kuyamba mutu watsopano popanda iye kungakhale kovuta, kwachisoni, komanso kusungulumwa.

Pa sitepe yoyamba, Finn akulangiza kulemba "kalata yotsanzikana," kutchula zonse zomwe mwakhumudwa nazo. Kuchita masewerawa kudzakuthandizani kuzindikira chisoni, Finn akuti. Kenako, lembani "moni kalata" ndikuphatikiza zonse zomwe mukuyembekezera kuchita m'tsogolo, zomwe zimakuthandizani kuti musinthe malingaliro anu kuchoka pachisoni kupita kuvomereza zabwino m'moyo wanu.

Pambuyo pake? Dzidziwitseni nokha. Yang'ananinso zomwe mumachita mukadali mwana, monga kuvina kapena kujambula, akutero Finn. Kapena pitani ku Meetup.com, tsamba lochezera lamagulu am'deralo omwe amakumana kuti achite nawo zochitika zosiyanasiyana, kuyambira kuthamanga, mpaka kudya, kusungitsa kalabu. "Mukakhumudwa, mumangofuna kubisala, koma kungowona zinthu zosangalatsa zomwe mwina mukuchita kungakulimbikitseni," akutero a Finn. Simudziwa zomwe mungapeze kuti mumakonda, kapena omwe mungakumane nawo pochita izi.

Mukukwatiwa

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Zoonadi, kumanga mfundo ingakhale imodzi mwa mphindi zosangalatsa kwambiri m’moyo wanu, koma “kukwatiwa ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zovuta kwambiri zimene timapirira monga anthu,” akutero Sheryl Paul, phungu ndi mlembi wa bukuli. Zosintha Zazidziwitso: Zosintha Zisanu Ndi Ziwiri Zomwe Zimachitika (Ndi Zowopsa). Ndipotu Paulo anaiyerekezera ndi “chokumana nacho cha imfa,” m’lingaliro limene tiyenera kutero Zilekeni za kudziwika komwe tinali nako kale monga osakwatiwa, osakwatiwa.

Ngati mukukumana ndi zovuta musanayambe ukwati, lankhulani ndi wokondedwa wanu kapena lembani za izo-chofunika kwambiri ndikuwulutsa zakukhosi kwanu. "Anthu akamangowakankhira pambali, amatha kukhala ndi nkhawa kapena zochitika pambuyo paukwati," akutero Paul. "Anthu omwe ali ndi masiku osangalala kwambiri paukwati ndi omwe amalolera kulola kumverera ndikumvetsetsa zomwe akuloleza."

Zomwe zimathandizanso: Khulupirirani kuti mbali ina ya tsiku la ukwati wanu padzakhala chitonthozo ndi kukhazikika kwa ukwati, Paulo akutero. Izi zitha kukhala ngati njira yoyambira kuti mutengere zoopsa zatsopano ndikuwunikanso zina zanu.

Bwenzi Lanu Lapamtima Akuchoka

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Mudamvapo kale: Maubwenzi ndiosavuta kusamalira pamene anthu awiri amatha kuonana pafupipafupi komanso mosadodoma. Choncho munthu wina akasamuka, “simungachitire mwina koma kumva kuti mwataya mtima ndipo mumadabwa ngati mudzatha kukhalabe ndi ubwenzi womwewo patali,” anatero Irene S. Levine, katswiri wa zamaganizo ndiponso mlengi wa TheFriendshipBlog.com.

Ngati BFF yanu igwira ntchito mdziko lonselo (kapena ngakhale maola angapo), m'malo mongonena kuti, 'Tidzalumikizana,' pangani dongosolo la nthawi yomwe mudzasonkhane, akutero a Levine. Pangani kuthawa kwa abwenzi apachaka kapena apakatikati pachaka kuti musangalale mosadodometsedwa limodzi ndikupanga zokumbukira zatsopano. Pakadali pano, gwiritsani ntchito ukadaulo kuti mupindule: gawo la Skype, FaceTime, kapena Google Hangout chitha kukhala chinthu chotsatira chofikira pabedi monga kale.

Pazomwe mungasinthe moyo wopanda mnzanu, musalakwitse poganiza kuti aliyense ali ndi abwenzi kale; maubwenzi ndi amadzimadzi ndipo anthu ambiri omwe mumakumana nawo amakhala ofunitsitsa kupanga anzawo monga momwe muliri, akutero a Levine. Lowetsani ku studio yatsopano ya yoga, lembani kalasi yolembera, kapena lembani nawo bungwe lomwe lingakuthandizeni kukwaniritsa zomwe mumakonda ndikukakumana ndi anthu atsopano omwe amakonda zomwe mumakonda.

Mumataya Ntchito Yanu

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"Tili achikulire, timakhala pafupifupi 75% yamaola athu akudzuka kuntchito, ndipo timakonda kudzizindikiritsa pazomwe timachita," akutero Eckl. "Tikataya ntchito, ndikutayika komwe kumawopseza anthu."

Mawu oti "mtolo wogawana ndi katundu wapakati" amakhala oona mukamasulidwa, atero a Margie Warrell, mphunzitsi wamkulu komanso Forbes wolemba nkhani zantchito. Kulankhula ndi mnzanu kungakhale kothandiza kwambiri, makamaka ngati nayenso anakumanapo ndi vuto ngati limeneli. "Khalani omasuka kutenga sabata imodzi kapena ziwiri kuti 'mutenge katundu wanu', koma pokhapokha mutakhala olemera mokwanira kuti muthe chaka chimodzi mukuyenda pa French Riviera, mumathandizidwa bwino pobwerera pa kavalo ndikuwona zomwe zidzatsatira, "akutero.

Mukayambiranso ntchito, kumbukirani kuti malingaliro olimbikira ndi abwino adzakuthandizani kuti muwoneke. "Olemba anzawo ntchito amakopeka kwambiri ndi anthu omwe sanalole kuti kubwerera m'mbuyo kuwasokoneze," akutero a Warrell. Fotokozani momwe nthawi yopumulirayo idakulolani kuti muwunikenso komwe mukugwira ntchito, kukulitsa luso lanu, kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi yanu mongodzipereka, kapena kuyanjananso ndi banja. Kodi muyenera kupewa chiyani poyankhulana? Chilankhulo chilichonse chomwe chimakupweteketsani kapena chimaimba mlandu abwana anu akale kapena abwana anu, akutero. Ndipo musaiwale kudzisamalira nokha: Kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi nthawi zonse kumakuthandizani osati kwakanthawi kochepa, komanso kumathandizira kuthana ndi kupsinjika bwino ndikukulitsa chidaliro chomwe chingakuthandizeni kukhala osiyana pakapita nthawi, akufotokoza Warrell.

Ndiwe Oyembekezera Kwa Nthawi Yoyamba

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Chizindikiro chophatikizira chikangowonekera pamayeso apakati, mumazindikira kuti moyo monga mukudziwa kuti usintha. "Kusintha kwakukulu komwe kumachitika ndikakhala ndi mwana ndikusintha kuchoka kuzinthu zongoganizira zofuna kutumikira munthu pang'ono," atero a de Bonvoisin. Kuwerenga mabuku ndi nkhani za makolo kungakuthandizeni kumvetsetsa zinthu zothandiza, koma dziwani kuti zambiri sizingakhale zomveka mpaka mutanyamula mwana m'manja mwanu.

Ndipo ngati mukuchita mantha, dziwani kuti sizachilendo. Jill Smokler, mayi wa ana atatu komanso woyambitsa ScaryMommy.com, adasokonezeka ndi mimba yake yoyamba (yosakonzekera). "Ndinali wokwatiwa, koma ana sanali pa rada yanga konse," akukumbukira. Chinthu chophweka chomwe chinamuthandiza kusintha: Kugulira ana zovala m'masitolo ogulitsa ana. "Ndinasangalala kwambiri kuyang'ana nsapato zazing'ono!" akutero. "Komanso, kukhala ndi galu kunathandiza, popeza tidaphunzira kale kusintha ndandanda yathu pochita zosowa za ziweto zathu-kukhala ndi mwana."

Pomaliza, khalani ndi nthawi yolimbana ndi chibwenzi chanu. Khalani okoma ndi okondana ndi wokondedwa wanu m'miyezi isanu ndi inayi momwe mungathere. "Ngakhale zitakhala zabwino kwambiri kuposa kale lonse, zidzatenga malo achiwiri kwa kanthawi mwana akabwera," akutero de Bonvoisin.

Wina Amene Mumakonda Amalandira Nkhani Zoopsa

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"Chovuta kwambiri chokhudza wokondedwa yemwe akudwala kwambiri kapena kuvulala ndikumva kuti mulibe thandizo. Palibe chomwe mungachite chomwe chingakhale bwino," akutero Eckl, yemwe adalemba zakusamalira mwamuna wake yemwe ali ndi khansa Imfa Yokongola: Kuyang'ana mtsogolo mwamtendere.

Posakhalitsa, kumbukirani kuti sizokhudza upangiri wanu, kapena zomwe mukuganiza kuti ayenera kuchita, atero a Bonvoisin. "Yesetsani kukhala otsimikiza ndikuonetsetsa kuti akudziwa kuti mudzakhala ndi chilichonse chomwe angafune, chomwe chidzasinthe tsiku ndi tsiku." (Ngati ndinu wowasamalira, musaiwale kuti muyenera kudzisamalira inunso.) Ndipo muzimuchitira munthuyo monga munkachitira kale: Kuseka nawo, kutenga nawo mbali, ndipo usawaone ngati akudwala. "Miyoyo yawo sikudwala kapena kukhudzidwa mwanjira iliyonse," atero a Bonvoisin.

Komanso, lingalirani zolowa m'gulu lothandizira ena omwe akudwala kapena kuyankhula ndi mlangizi kapena wochiritsa, akutero Eckl. "Izi zitha kukuthandizani kusintha zomwe mumamva kuti ndi zachilendo kwa inu ndikukuthandizani kuthana ndi zokhumudwitsa zomwe zimachitika posamalira munthu yemwe mumamukonda yemwe akudwala." Mabungwe amtundu wa matenda monga MS, Parkinson, kapena Alzheimer's amatha kukuthandizani, kuthana ndi maupangiri, upangiri pazomwe mungayembekezere magawo osiyanasiyana, komanso kupumula pakumva kuti muli nokha. Chinthu chinanso chimene Eckl amalimbikitsa ndi Kugawana Chisamaliro, chomwe chimathandiza anthu kukhazikitsa malo osamalira odwala kuti asamalire munthu amene akudwala kwambiri.

Imfa Yoyandikira Kwathu

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Munthu amene mumam’konda akamwalira, kumasintha kwambiri moti palibe amene angathane naye mosavuta, anatero Russell Friedman, mkulu wa bungwe la Grief Recovery Institute. Ngakhale kwa wina ngati Friedman, yemwe amagwira ntchito ndi anthu achisoni ngati ntchito ndipo amadziwa zambiri kuposa zachisoni, imfa ya amayi ake idakhudzidwa kwambiri.

Gawo loyamba: Pezani munthu amene angakumvereni chabe - osayesa kutero konzani inu, Friedman akuti. "Munthu amene mumalankhula naye ayenera kukhala ngati" mtima wokhala ndi makutu, womvera osasanthula. " Ndikofunikira kwambiri kuzindikira malingaliro anu, ndipo kuyankhula ndi wina kungakuloleni kuchoka pamutu panu, ndikulowa mu mtima mwanu.

N’zoona kuti palibe nthawi yoikika imene ingalole kuti munthu “athetse” imfa ya wokondedwa wake. "M'malo mwake, ndi nthano yoopsa kwambiri yokhudza chisoni kuti nthawi imachiritsa mabala onse," akutero Friedman. "Nthawi sichingakonze mtima wosweka monganso momwe singathetsere tayala lomwe laphwa." Mukamvetsetsa kale kuti nthawi sichiritse mtima wanu, zimakhala zosavuta kuti mugwire ntchito nokha zomwe zingakuthandizeni kupita patsogolo, akutero.

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