Kulimbana ndi Matenda a Maganizo Kusalidwa, Tweet Imodzi pa Nthawi

Amy Marlow akunena motsimikiza kuti umunthu wake umatha kuyatsa chipinda. Wakhala wosangalala m'banja pafupifupi zaka zisanu ndi ziwiri ndipo amakonda kuvina, kuyenda, komanso kunyamula zolemera. Amakhalanso ndi nkhawa, zovuta pambuyo pake (C-PTSD), matenda amisala, komanso wopulumuka pakudzipha.

Zinthu zonse zomwe Amy amadziwa kuti ndi zovomerezeka zimapezeka pansi pa ambulera matenda amisala, ndipo chimodzi mwamaganizidwe olakwika okhudzana ndi matenda amisala ndichakuti siwachilendo. Koma malinga ndi, m'modzi mwa achikulire anayi aku America ali ndi matenda amisala.

Imeneyi ikhoza kukhala nambala yovuta kuyimba, makamaka chifukwa matenda amisala alibe zizindikilo zowoneka bwino. Izi zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kwambiri kuthandiza ena, kapena kuzindikira kuti mukukhala nawo nokha.

Koma Amy amafotokoza poyera zomwe adakumana nazo ndi matenda amisala ndipo adalemba zaumoyo wake pa blog yake, Blue Light Blue komanso maakaunti ake ochezera. Tidalankhula naye kuti aphunzire zambiri za zomwe adakumana nazo pakukhumudwa, komanso zomwe zimatsegulira okondedwa ake (komanso dziko lapansi) zomwe zidamuthandiza iye komanso ena.

Thanzi: Ndi liti pomwe mudapezeka kuti muli ndi matenda amisala?

Amy: Sindinapezeke ndi matenda amisala mpaka nditakwanitsa zaka 21, koma ndikukhulupirira izi zisanachitike ndinali ndi vuto la kupsinjika ndi kuda nkhawa, ndipo ndinali ndi PTSD kutsatira kumwalira kwa abambo anga.

Zinali zachisoni, koma zidalinso zosiyana ndi chisoni chomwe mumamva kholo lanu likamwalira ndi khansa. Ndinali ndi vuto lalikulu lomwe ndinawona; Ndine amene ndinazindikira kuti abambo anga adadzipha. Zambiri zakumverera zidalowa mkati ndipo ndidali wofooka kwambiri. Ndi chinthu choyipa, chovuta, makamaka kuti ana apeze ndikuwona kudzipha m'nyumba mwanu.

Nthawi zonse pamakhala nkhawa zambiri zakuti china chake choipa chitha kuchitika nthawi iliyonse. Amayi anga amwalira. Mchemwali wanga akhoza kufa. Kamphindi kalikonse nsapato inayo inkatsika. Ndinkalandira thandizo la akatswiri kuyambira tsiku lomwe bambo anga anamwalira.

Thanzi: Munamva bwanji mutalandira chizindikiro cha zomwe mwakhala mukuyesetsa kuti mupirire nazo kwanthawi yayitali?

Amy: Ndinamva ngati ndipatsidwa chilango cha imfa. Ndipo ndikudziwa izi zikumveka modabwitsa, koma kwa ine, abambo anga anali atakhala ndi nkhawa ndipo zidawapha. Anadzipha chifukwa cha kukhumudwa. Zinali ngati china chake chimawoneka chachilendo kenako tsiku lina adachoka. Chifukwa chake kwa ine, ndimamva ngati chinthu chomaliza chomwe ndimalakalaka kukhala ndi vuto lomwelo.

Sindinadziwe panthawiyo kuti anthu ambiri ali ndi vuto la kupsinjika ndipo amatha kulimbana nalo mwanjira yabwino. Chifukwa chake, sichinali chizindikiro chothandiza kwa ine. Ndipo panthawiyo sindinakhulupirire kuti kukhumudwa ndimatenda. Ngakhale ndimamwa mankhwala, ndimangomva ngati ndiyenera kuthana ndi izi.

Munthawi yonseyi, sindinauze aliyense za izi. Sindinauze ngakhale anthu omwe ndinali nawo pachibwenzi. Ndinasunga chinsinsi kuti ndinali ndi vuto la kupsinjika.

Thanzi: Koma atakhala kuti adziwa izi kwa nthawi yayitali, kodi zinthu zidasintha ndi chiyani?

Amy: Ndimayesetsa kuchotsa mankhwala opatsirana pogonana motsogozedwa ndi dokotala ku 2014 chifukwa ndimafuna kutenga mimba ndipo adauzidwa kuti ndichotse mankhwala anga onse kuti ndikhale ndi pakati. Chifukwa chake nditachita izi ndidasokonekera ndipo patadutsa milungu itatu kuchokera kuti ndimwa mankhwala anga, ndidali mchipatala chifukwa ndimagwidwa ndi nkhawa komanso mantha. Sindinakhalepo ndi gawo lotere. Ndinayenera kusiya ntchito. Zinali ngati ndilibe mwayi wobisala izi. Anzanga adadziwa tsopano. Chigoba choteteza chinali chitangophwanyika.

Ndiyo nthawi yomwe ndinazindikira kuti ndimachita ndendende zomwe abambo anga adachita. Ndinkavutika maganizo, ndikubisalira anthu, ndipo ndinali kulephera. Ndipamene ndidati sindipanganso izi.

Kuyambira pamenepo, ndimakhala wotseguka. Sindinama nthawi ina ndikunena kuti, “Ndangotopa” wina akandifunsa ngati ndili bwino. Sindinganene kuti, “Sindikufuna kulankhula za izi” wina akafunsa za bambo anga. Ndikuganiza kuti ndinali wokonzeka kuyamba kukhala wotseguka.

Thanzi: Ndiye mutayamba kukhala oona mtima kwa inu nokha ndi kwa ena za kukhumudwa kwanu, kodi mwawona kusintha kwamakhalidwe anu?

Amy: Kwa chaka choyamba chotsegulidwa, zinali zopweteka kwambiri. Ndinkachita manyazi kwambiri ndipo ndinkadziwa kuti ndinkachita manyazi bwanji.

Koma ndidayamba kupita pa intaneti ndikuwerenga za matenda amisala. Ndinapeza mawebusayiti ena komanso anthu ochezera pa intaneti omwe amalankhula zinthu monga, "Simuyenera kuchita manyazi ndi kukhumudwa," komanso "Simuyenera kubisa matenda anu amisala."

Ndimamva ngati akundilembera zimenezo! Ndinazindikira kuti sindine ndekha! Ndipo pamene anthu ali ndi matenda amisala, ndiye kuti ndiye vuto lomwe limabwereza nthawi zonse m'maganizo mwanu, kuti ndinu nokha onga awa.

Chifukwa chake ndidazindikira kuti pali 'manyazi azaumoyo'. Ndangophunzira mawu amenewo chaka chimodzi ndi theka zapitazo. Koma nditayamba kuzindikira, ndidakhala ndi mphamvu. Anali ngati gulugufe akutuluka mu chikuku. Ndinafunika kuphunzira, ndimayenera kumva kuti ndine wotetezeka komanso wamphamvu ndiyeno ndimatha, pang'onopang'ono, kugawana ndi anthu ena.

Thanzi: Kodi kulembera bulogu yanu ndikukhala otseguka komanso owona mtima pazanema kumakupangitsani kukhala otsimikiza komanso odzidalira?

Inde! Ndinayamba kudzilembera ndekha, chifukwa ndakhala ndikugwira munkhani zonsezi, mphindi izi, zokumbukira izi, ndipo amayenera kutuluka mwa ine. Ndinayenera kuzikonza. Pochita izi, ndapeza kuti zomwe ndalemba zathandiza anthu ena ndipo ndizodabwitsa kwa ine. Nthawi zonse ndimamva ngati ndili ndi nkhani yachisoni iyi yomwe ndimayenera kubisalira anthu ena. Ndipo kuti ndimagawana nawo poyera ndikumva kuchokera kwa ena pa intaneti ndizodabwitsa.

Ndidasindikizidwa posachedwa ku Washington Post, pepala lomwelo pomwe zolemba za abambo anga zidasindikizidwa. Koma pamaliropo, chifukwa chake chomupha chidasinthidwa kukhala kumangidwa kwamtima ndipo sanatchulepo zodzipha chifukwa sanafune liwu loti 'kudzipha' m'malo ake.

Panali manyazi ambiri omwe amaphatikizidwa ndikudzipha komanso kukhumudwa ndipo kwa iwo omwe atsala, mwatsala ndi manyazi komanso chinsinsi komwe simukuyenera kukambirana zomwe zidachitikadi.

Chifukwa chake kuti nditha kulemba mwachikondi za abambo anga komanso zomwe ndakumana nazo ndimadwala amisala papepala lomweli pomwe zomwe zidawapangitsa kuti asinthe, zidakhala ngati mwayi woti ndibwerere kwathunthu.

Patsiku loyamba lokha, ndidalandira maimelo a 500 kudzera pa blog yanga ndipo idapitilira sabata yonse ndipo anali anthu akutsanulira nkhani zawo. Pali gulu lodabwitsa la anthu pa intaneti omwe akupanga malo abwino kuti ena atsegule, chifukwa matenda amisala ndichinthu chomwe sichimveka kukambirana ndi anthu ena. Kotero tsopano ndikugawana nkhani yanga poyera momwe ndingathere, chifukwa imapulumutsa miyoyo ya anthu. Ndikukhulupirira kuti zimatero.

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