Momwe Kuyenda Kunandithandizira Kugonjetsa Anorexia

Monga kamtsikana kakulira ku Poland, ndinali mwana womveka bwino kwambiri. Ndinkakhoza bwino kusukulu, ndinkachita nawo zinthu zingapo nditaweruka kusukulu, ndipo nthawi zonse ndinkachita bwino. Zachidziwikire, sizitanthauza kuti ndinali wokondwa Mtsikana wazaka 12. Nditangofika zaka zanga zaunyamata, ndinayamba kufuna kukhala munthu wina ... mtsikana “wangwiro” komanso “wolongosoka.” Wina yemwe anali kuwongolera kwathunthu moyo wake. Ndipafupifupi nthawi yomwe ndimadwala anorexia nervosa.

Ndidayamba kuchepa thupi, kuchira, ndikuyambiranso mwezi ndi mwezi. Pofika kumapeto kwa zaka 14 ndikugona kawiri kuchipatala, ndidadzinenera kuti "ndine wotayika," kutanthauza kuti madotolo sanadziwenso chochita ndi ine. Kwa iwo, ndinali wamakani komanso wosachiritsika.

Anauzidwa kuti sindikhala ndi mphamvu zoyenda ndikukawona malo tsiku lonse. Kapena mukhale pa ndege kwa maola ambiri ndikudya zomwe ndimafuna nthawi yoyenera. Ndipo ngakhale sindinkafuna kukhulupirira aliyense, onse anali ndi mfundo zabwino.

Ndipamene china chake chinadina. Zosamveka momwe zimamvekera, kuti anthu andiuze ine sindinathe Chitani chinachake chomwe chinandikankhira njira yoyenera. Pang'ono ndi pang'ono ndinayamba kudya chakudya chokhazikika. Ndinadzikakamiza kuti ndikhale bwino kuti ndiyende ndekha.

Koma panali kugwira.

Nditangodutsa pamsinkhu wosadya kuti ndikhale wowonda, chakudya chinayamba kulamulira moyo wanga. Nthawi zina, anthu omwe ali ndi anorexia pamapeto pake amakhala ndi zakudya zopanda thanzi, samangodya pang'ono pomwe amangodya magawo ena kapena zinthu zina nthawi inayake.

Zinali ngati kuwonjezera pa anorexia, ndinakhala munthu wokhala ndi matenda osokoneza bongo (OCD). Ndinasinthiratu kudya zakudya zolimbitsa thupi komanso kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi ndipo ndinakhala chizolowezi chazolowera, komanso wamndende wazikhalidwezi komanso chakudya china. Ntchito yosavuta yodyetsa chakudya idakhala yachizolowezi ndipo zosokoneza zilizonse zimatha kundipangitsa kuti ndikhale ndi nkhawa yayikulu komanso kukhumudwa. Ndiye ndingayende bwanji ngati ngakhale lingaliro losintha nthawi limapangitsa nthawi yanga yodyera ndikumverera bwino?

Pakadali pano pamoyo wanga, matenda anga adandipangitsa kukhala wakunja. Ndinali munthu wachilendowu wokhala ndi zizolowezi zachilendo. Kunyumba, aliyense ankandidziwa ngati "mtsikana wodwala anorexia." Mawu amayenda mwachangu mtauni yaying'ono. Linali dzina losapeweka ndipo sindinatha kuthawa.

Ndipamene zidandigunda: Bwanji ndikadakhala kunja?

Ndikadakhala kuti ndikadakhala kunja, ndikadakhala amene ndikufuna kukhala. Poyenda, ndimathawa zenizeni zanga ndikudzipeza ndekha. Kutali ndi anorexia, komanso kutali ndi zolemba zomwe ena adandiponyera.

Podzipereka momwe ndimakhalira ndi matenda a anorexia, ndimayang'anitsitsa pakupanga maloto anga akuyenda. Koma kuti ndichite izi, sindimatha kudalira ubale wopanda thanzi ndi chakudya. Ndinali ndi chidwi chofufuza dziko lapansi ndipo ndinkafuna kusiya mantha anga odyera kumbuyo. Ndinkafuna kuti ndikhalenso wabwinobwino. Chifukwa chake ndidanyamula zikwama zanga, ndidasungitsa ndege yopita ku Egypt, ndikuyamba ntchito yapaulendo wonse.

Titafika pamtunda, ndinazindikira kuti machitidwe anga odyera ayenera kusintha msanga. Sindingangonena kuti chakudya chomwe anthu am'deralo amandipatsa, zikadakhala zamwano. Ndinayesedwanso kuti ndiwone ngati tiyi wakomweko ndimapatsidwa shuga, koma ndani angafune kukhala wapaulendo wofunsa za shuga m'tiyi pamaso pa aliyense? Osati ine. M'malo mokhumudwitsa ena, ndinayamba miyambo ndi miyambo yakumaloko, zomwe zidathetsa kuyankhula kwanga kwamkati.

Imodzi mwa nthawi zofunika kwambiri idabwera pambuyo paulendo wanga pomwe ndimadzipereka ku Zimbabwe. Ndinkacheza ndi anthu am'deralo omwe ankakhala m'nyumba zazing'ono zadongo zomwe zimakhala ndi chakudya chambiri. Anasangalala kwambiri kundilandira ndipo mwamsanga anandipatsa buledi, kabichi, ndi pap, phala la chimanga la komweko. Amayesetsa kuti andipangire ine ndipo kuwolowa manja kunadutsa nkhawa zanga zokhudzana ndi chakudya. Zomwe ndimatha kudya ndikudya ndikuyamikira ndikusangalala ndi nthawi yomwe timakhala limodzi.

Poyamba ndimakumana ndi mantha ofanana tsiku lililonse, kuchokera komwe ndikupita. Nyumba iliyonse yogona ndi nyumba zogona zimandithandizira kukulitsa luso langa ndikumapeza chidaliro chatsopano. Kukhala mozungulira anthu ambiri apaulendo padziko lapansi kunandilimbikitsa kuti ndizichita zinthu modzipereka, kumasuka kwa ena mosavuta, kukhala moyo momasuka, komanso koposa zonse, kudya chilichonse mosasamala ndi ena.

Ndinazindikira kuti ndine munthu wothandizidwa ndi anthu abwino, othandizana nawo. Ndinali ndikutsatira zipinda zocheza za pro-ana zomwe ndidatsatira ku Poland omwe amagawana zithunzi za chakudya ndi matupi onyentchera. Tsopano, ndinali kugawana zithunzi zanga m'malo osiyanasiyana padziko lapansi, ndikukumana ndi moyo wanga watsopano. Ndinali kukondwerera kuchira kwanga ndikupanga zokumbukira zabwino kuchokera padziko lonse lapansi.

Nditakwanitsa zaka 20, ndinali nditakhala wopanda chilichonse chomwe chingafanane ndi anorexia nervosa, ndipo kuyenda ndi ntchito yanga yanthawi zonse. M'malo mothawa mantha anga, monga ndidachitira koyambirira kwaulendo wanga, ndidayamba kuwathamangira ngati mayi wodalirika, wathanzi, komanso wachimwemwe.

Anna Lysakowska ndi katswiri wolemba mabulogu ku AnnaEverywhere.com. Adakhala moyo wosamukasamuka pazaka 10 zapitazi ndipo alibe malingaliro oleka posachedwa. Atayendera mayiko opitilira 77 m'makontinenti asanu ndi m'modzi ndikukhala m'mizinda yayikulu kwambiri padziko lapansi, Anna ali wokonzeka kuchita izi. Akakhala kuti sanapite ku Africa kapena akusewerera m'mwamba kukadya ku malo odyera apamwamba, Anna alembanso ngati psoriasis komanso wotsutsa anorexia, atakhala ndi matenda onsewa kwazaka zambiri.