Amayi Olimba Akuda Amaloledwa Kukhumudwa, Nawonso

Zamkati

• ‘Anthu akuda sataya mtima’
• Chisoni chosatha
• Kulandila uphungu
• Tengera kwina

Ndine mkazi wakuda. Ndipo nthawi zambiri, ndimawona kuti ndikuyembekezeredwa kukhala ndi mphamvu zopanda malire komanso zopirira. Chiyembekezo ichi chimandipanikiza kwambiri kuti ndithandizire "Strong Black Woman" (SBWM) omwe mumawona akuwonetsedwa pachikhalidwe cha pop.

SBWM ndichikhulupiriro chakuti azimayi akuda amatha kuthana ndi chilichonse chomwe angawapeze popanda kuwakhudza. SBWM imalepheretsa azimayi akuda kuti asawonetse kusatetezeka ndipo akutiuza kuti "tithane nazo" ndiku "zitha" mosasamala kanthu za kuvutikira kwamaganizidwe ndi thupi.

Mpaka posachedwa, ndibwino kunena kuti anthu sanasamalire kwenikweni zosowa zamaganizidwe aku Africa-America. Koma madera onse akuda komanso anthu omwe si Akuda athandiziranso.

Kafukufuku waposachedwa akuwonetsa kuti gululi ndi gawo la 10% lomwe likhoza kulimbana ndi zovuta zazikulu kuposa azungu omwe siaku Puerto Rico. Kuphatikiza ndi kuthekera kokulira kwa zovuta, anthu akuda aku America amafotokozanso za njira zochepa kwambiri zamankhwala amisala. Zikhalidwe monga kusalidwa, machitidwe monga kusalingana kwa ndalama, komanso malingaliro olakwika ngati SBWM onse amatenga nawo gawo pazithandizo zochepa pakati pa anthu akuda aku America.

Amayi akuda amachita ndi zinthu zambiri zapadera zomwe zitha kukhudza thanzi lam'mutu. Monga mayi wakuda yemwe amalimbana ndi nkhawa komanso kukhumudwa, nthawi zambiri ndimakhala "wofooka" chifukwa chofooka kwanga kwamalingaliro. Koma pamene ndikukula kwambiri pakumvetsetsa kwanga thanzi lamisala, ndazindikira kuti kulimbana kwanga sikumanyalanyaza mphamvu zanga.

Ndipo, koposa zonse, kuti sindiyenera kukhala wamphamvu nthawi zonse. Kuwonetsa kusatetezeka kumafuna mphamvu. Ndikuvomereza izi lero, koma wakhala ulendo wautali kuti ndikafike kuno.

‘Anthu akuda sataya mtima’

Ndinadziwa kuti ndinali wosiyana ndi ena onse koyambirira. Nthawi zonse ndimakhala wopanga zinthu ndipo ndakhala ndikutsata chidziwitso nthawi zonse. Tsoka ilo, monga zolengedwa zina zambiri m'mbiri yonse, nthawi zambiri ndimapezeka kuti ndikulimbana ndi zovuta zamatsenga. Kuyambira ndili mwana, nthawi zonse ndimakhala wokhumudwa kwambiri. Mosiyana ndi ana ena, zachisoni izi zimachitika modzidzimutsa komanso mosaganizira.

Pamsinkhu umenewo, sindinkamvetsetsa za kukhumudwa, koma ndimadziwa kuti zinali zachilendo kusinthiratu ndikudzimva kuti ndili kutali. Sindinamve mawu okhumudwa koyamba kufikira nditakula kwambiri.

Sizinatenge nthawi kuti ndizindikire kuti silinali liwu lomwe ndimayembekezeredwa kuzindikira.

Nditazindikira kuti ndikhoza kukhala ndi nkhawa, ndidakumana ndi vuto lina: kuvomereza. Aliyense amene anali pafupi nane ankayesetsa kundiletsa kuti ndisazindikire.

Ndipo nthawi zambiri ankatsatiridwa ndi malangizo oti awerenge Baibulo. Ndamva "Ambuye sangatipatse zambiri zoti tichite nazo kuposa momwe tingathe" nthawi zochulukirapo kuposa momwe aliyense amayembekezera. Mkati mwa gulu la akuda, ngati mukumva chisoni kwanthawi yayitali, mumauzidwa kuti ndichinthu chomwe muyenera kugwira ntchito molimbika kuti mupemphere kuchokera kwa inu. Chifukwa chake, ndidapemphera.

Koma pamene zinthu sizinasinthe, ndinali kukumananso ndi malingaliro osayenera kwambiri. Chofunikira chomwe akazi akuda samalimbana nacho konsekonse munthu zotengeka zimalimbikitsa lingaliro loti sitingalowe.

Ndipo kunamizira kuti ndife oposa anthu akutipha, akutero Josie Pickens m'nkhani yake "Depression and the Black Superwoman Syndrome." Poyesetsa kuti ndikwaniritse izi, ndidadzipezanso ndekha - ndikufotokozedwanso ndi zomwe amachita komanso sizikutanthauza kuti ndikuda.

Chisoni chosatha

Kuzunzidwa kusukulu kunapangitsa zinthu kuipiraipira. Ananditchula kuti “wina” ndili wamng'ono. Zikhulupiriro zomwezo zomwe zimaletsa zokambirana zamaganizidwe zidandipangitsa kukhala wopanda ntchito.

Ndinaphunzira kupirira mwa kusiya kucheza nawo komanso kupewa anthu ambiri. Koma ngakhale zaka zambiri kupezerera kutatha, nkhawa idatsalira ndikunditsatira kukoleji.

Kulandila uphungu

Yunivesite yanga idayika patsogolo thanzi lam'maphunziro a ophunzira ake ndikupatsa aliyense wa ife magawo 12 a upangiri waulere pachaka cha sukulu. Popeza ndalama sizinalinso chopinga, ndinapatsidwa mwayi wokaonana ndi mlangizi popanda nkhawa.

Kwa nthawi yoyamba, ndinali mdera lomwe silimangotengera zovuta zapagulu. Ndipo ndidagwiritsa ntchito mwayiwu kulankhula za mavuto anga. Pambuyo pa magawo angapo, sindinamve "ena" panonso. Kupereka uphungu kunandiphunzitsa kuti ndizolowere zomwe ndakumana nazo ndikakhumudwa komanso kuda nkhawa.

Chisankho changa chopita kukalandira uphungu ku koleji chidandithandizira kumvetsetsa kuti kulimbana kwanga ndi nkhawa komanso kukhumudwa sikundipangitsa kukhala wocheperako kuposa wina aliyense. Mdima Wanga sundimasula ku nkhawa zamaganizidwe. Kwa anthu aku Africa-America, kufotokozera tsankho komanso tsankho kumawonjezera kufunikira kwathu kuchipatala.

Palibe cholakwika ndi ine kukhala munthu wokhumudwa- komanso wokhazikika. Tsopano, ndimawona mavuto anga azaumoyo ngati chinthu china chomwe chimandipangitsa kukhala wapadera. Ndimapeza kudzoza kwakukulu mu "masiku anga otsika," ndipo masiku anga "okweza" ndiosavuta kuzindikira.

Tengera kwina

Kulandira zovuta zanga sikutanthauza kuti sizili zovuta kuthana nazo pakadali pano. Ndikakhala ndi masiku ovuta kwambiri, ndimayesetsa kuti ndilankhule ndi wina. Ndikofunika kukumbukira zinthu zoipa zomwe mumamva ndikudzimva nokha munthawi yamavuto sizowona. Anthu aku Africa-America, makamaka, ayenera kuyesetsa kufunafuna thandizo pamavuto azaumoyo.

Ndapanga chisankho chothana ndi zodandaula zanga popanda mankhwala, koma ndikudziwa ena ambiri omwe adaganiza kuti mankhwala angawathandize kuthana ndi zizindikilo. Ngati mukukumana ndi mavuto okhumudwitsa kapena okhumudwa omwe amakukhudzani, lankhulani ndi akatswiri azaumoyo kuti mupeze zomwe mungachite zomwe zingakuthandizeni. Dziwani kuti ndinu ayi "winayo" ndipo ndinu ayi yekha.

Matenda amisala samasankha. Zimakhudza aliyense. Zimatengera kulimba mtima, koma limodzi, titha kuthana ndi malingaliro oyipa okhudzana ndi matenda amisala m'magulu onse a anthu.

Ngati inu kapena munthu wina amene mumamudziwa akukumana ndi zipsinjo zokhumudwa, mungapeze thandizo. Mabungwe monga National Alliance on Mental Illness amapereka magulu othandizira, maphunziro, ndi zina zothandizira kuthana ndi matenda amisala. Muthanso kuyitanitsa mabungwe aliwonse otsatirawa kuti muthandizire anthu osadziwika, achinsinsi:

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (lotseguka 24/7): 1-800-273-8255
• Asamariya 24-Hour Crisis Hotline (lotseguka 24/7, imbani kapena lembani): 1-877-870-4673
• United Way Crisis Helpline (ingakuthandizeni kupeza othandizira, zamankhwala, kapena zofunikira): 2-1-1

Rochaun Meadows-Fernandez ndi wolemba pawokha wodziwa zaumoyo, chikhalidwe cha anthu, komanso kulera. Amagwiritsa ntchito nthawi yake powerenga, kukonda banja lake, komanso kuphunzira pagulu. Tsatirani zolemba zake pa iye tsamba la wolemba.