Kodi Kulera Mwachidziwitso N'kutani - Ndipo Kodi Muyenera Kuyiyesa?

Zamkati

• Kodi kulera mozindikira nchiyani?
• Zinthu zazikuluzikulu zakulera mozindikira
• Ubwino wake wa kulera mozindikira ndi chiyani?
• Kodi ndi zovuta ziti za kulera ana mozindikira?
• Zitsanzo zakulera mozindikira
• 1. Pumani
• 2. Ganizirani
• 3. Khazikitsani malire
• 4. Landirani
• Tengera kwina

Timaphatikizapo zinthu zomwe timaganiza kuti ndizothandiza kwa owerenga athu. Ngati mutagula maulalo omwe ali patsamba lino, titha kupeza ndalama zochepa. Nayi njira yathu.

Mwana wanu asanafike, mwina munkawerenga mabuku ambirimbiri olera, munamvetsera nkhani zambirimbiri zochokera kwa makolo ena, ndipo mwina munalumbiranso mnzanu kuti muchita zosiyana ndi zonse zomwe makolo anu anachita.

Mutha kukhala kuti mumadzidalira posankha makolo anu chifukwa cha mwana wanu yemwe sanabadwe-chifukwa-sanabadwenso.

Kenako, mwana wanu anafika, anaphuka msanga kukhala munthu wocheperako wokhala ndi malingaliro ndi zokhumba zawo, ndipo mwadzidzidzi kamvuluvulu wa zonsezo anakusiyani inu osakonzekera kwathunthu ndikusokonezeka.

Mukumva kukakamizidwa kuti mupange zisankho zovuta zakulera, mwina mwayamba kufunafuna magulu a makolo anzanu kuti mupeze upangiri.

Kudzera m'maguluwa, njira yatsopano (yomwe nthawi zina imakhala yotsutsana) yolerera yomwe mwina mudayamba kumva yokhudza kulera ana mozindikira. Ndi chiyani ngakhale? Ndipo zimagwiradi ntchito?

Kodi kulera mozindikira nchiyani?

Kulera ana mozindikira ndi mawu omwe amagwiritsidwa ntchito ndi akatswiri amisala (ndi ena) pofotokoza mtundu wa kulera womwe nthawi zambiri umayang'ana kwambiri za kholo komanso momwe kulingalira kumatha kuyendetsera zisankho za makolo.

Zakhazikika muzosakanikirana ndi mafilosofi am'maiko Akum'mawa komanso psychology yakumadzulo. (Mwanjira ina, kuphatikiza kusinkhasinkha ndi kudziwonetsera.)

Mwachidule, kulera ana mosamala kumafunsa kuti m'malo moyesetsa "kukonza" mwana wanu, makolo azidziona okha. Kulera ana mosamala kumawona ana ngati anthu odziyimira pawokha (ngakhale ali ovomerezeka pakadutsa nthawi), omwe angaphunzitse makolo kuti azidziwa okha.

Mmodzi mwa omwe akutsogolera njira yolerera ana ndi a Shefali Tsabary, PhD, katswiri wazamisala ku New York, wolemba, komanso wokamba pagulu. (Ngati mukuganiza kuti ndiwotchuka bwanji, a Dalai Lama adalemba kutsegulira kwa buku lawo loyamba, Oprah amamuwona ngati m'modzi mwamafunso abwino kwambiri omwe adakhalapo, ndipo Pinki amakonda mabuku ake, omwe ndi awa: The Conscious Kholo, The Awakened Family, and Out of Control.)

Shefali akuwonetsa kuti poganizira mozama miyambo yazikhalidwe - kapena kunena mosabisa, katundu wabanja komanso zikhalidwe zawo - makolo atha kuyamba kulembetsa mndandanda wawo momwe moyo uyenera kukhalira.

Potulutsa mindandanda iyi, Shefali amakhulupirira kuti makolo amadzimasula ku kukakamiza ana awo zikhulupiriro. Izi zikachitika, ana amakhala omasuka kuti adziwe zenizeni. Pomaliza, Shefali akuti izi zithandiza ana kulumikizana ndi makolo awo popeza akulandilidwa momwe alili.

Othandizira kulera mozindikira amakhulupirira kuti mtunduwu umalepheretsa ana kukhala ndi vuto lazidziwitso mtsogolo mwawo. Amamvanso kuti zimapangitsa kuti azigwirizana kwambiri ndi ana komanso kuti mawonekedwe ndi machitidwe ovomerezeka pamaubwenzi ambiri a makolo ndiwo amachititsa ana ambiri omwe amachoka kwa makolo.

Zinthu zazikuluzikulu zakulera mozindikira

Ngakhale pali zinthu zambiri zakulera mozindikira, malingaliro ofunikira ndi awa:

• Kulera ndi ubale. (Osati njira yotumizira yopita njira imodzi!) Ana ndi anthu awo omwe sangathe kuphunzitsa kholo.
• Kulera ana mosamala ndikutanthauza kulekerera malingaliro, zokhumba, ndi zomwe kholo limakonda.
• M'malo mokakamiza ana, makolo ayenera kuyang'ana chilankhulo chawo, ziyembekezo zawo, ndi kudziwongolera.
• M'malo mochita ndi zotulukapo, makolo ayenera kukhazikitsa malire pasadakhale ndikugwiritsa ntchito kuwalimbikitsa.
• M'malo moyesera kukonza vuto kwakanthawi (mwachitsanzo, kupsa mtima), ndikofunikira kuyang'ana njirayi. Nchiyani chinatsogolera ku mwambowu ndipo ukutanthauzanji mu chithunzi chokulirapo?
• Kulera sikutanthauza kungopanga mwana kukhala wosangalala. Ana amatha kukula ndikukula pakulimbana. Maganizo a kholo ndi zosowa zawo siziyenera kulepheretsa kukula kwa mwana!
• Kulandila kumafuna kupezeka ndikukhala ndi zochitika zilizonse zomwe zingachitike.

Ubwino wake wa kulera mozindikira ndi chiyani?

Njira yolerera yanzeru imafuna kuti makolo azitha kuwunika komanso kusamala tsiku ndi tsiku. Izi zitha kukhala zopindulitsa kuwonjezera pa kulera kwanu kokha.

Kuchita zinthu moganizira nthawi zonse kumatha kudzetsa nkhawa komanso nkhawa. Kusinkhasinkha tsiku ndi tsiku kumathandizanso kuti azikhala ndi chidwi chotalikirapo, kumatha kuchepetsa kuchepa kukumbukira kukumbukira, komanso kumachepetsa kuthamanga kwa magazi ndikusintha kugona.

Kuphatikiza apo, omuthandizirawo akuti kulera ana mozindikira kumatha kulimbikitsa kugwiritsa ntchito chilankhulo mwaulemu (ndi makolo komanso ana) komanso kulumikizana kwakukulu.

Chimodzi mwazinthu zofunikira pakulera mozindikira ndikuti ana ndianthunthu omwe ali ndi zomwe angaphunzitse achikulire. Kuvomereza moona chikhulupiriro ichi kumafunikira makolo kuti azilankhula ndi ana mwaulemu komanso kuyankhulana nawo pafupipafupi.

Kukambirana pafupipafupi mwaulemu ndi achikulire kumakhala ndi maluso abwino, ogwirizana omwe ana angagwiritse ntchito mbali zina za moyo wawo.

Kafukufuku wa 2019 akuwonetsanso kuti pali maubwino kwa akulu omwe ali ndi ana omwe ali ndi chilankhulo chambiri komanso chapamwamba adakali ana. Ofufuzawo akuti mitundu yazokambirana yolimbikitsidwa ndi njira yolerera yanzeru imatha kubweretsa kuzindikira bwino, kuchepa kwaukali, komanso kupita patsogolo kwa ana.

Kodi ndi zovuta ziti za kulera ana mozindikira?

Kwa makolo omwe akufuna kukonza mwachangu, momveka bwino zovuta zakulera, kulera ana mozindikira sikungafanane pazifukwa zingapo.

Choyamba, zimatha kutenga nthawi yayitali kuti munthu athe kudziwonetsera komanso kuwongolera mkati momwe makolo amafunikira momwe amafunira kalembedwe kameneka. Kupatula apo, ochirikiza kulera ana mozindikira amakhulupirira kuti ndikofunikira kutulutsa katundu wanu kuti mwana wanu azichita zowona, ndipo izi sizingachitike mwadzidzidzi!

Chachiwiri, kulera ana mozindikira kumafuna kuti makolo apatse ana awo mwayi wolimbana ndi kulephera. Izi, zachidziwikire, zikutanthauza kuti zitha kukhala zosokoneza komanso kutenga nthawi.

Omwe akulera mozindikira amakhulupirira kuti nthawi ndikulimbana ndikofunikira kuti mwana athe kulimbana ndi zinthu zofunika kuziwunikira. Komabe, kwa makolo ena kuwonera izi zitha kukhala zovuta ngati atakhala ndi mwayi wopewa mwana wawo kuti asalephere kapena kumva kupweteka.

Chachitatu, kwa makolo omwe amakonda mayankho akuda ndi oyera kuthana ndi mavuto ndi ana awo, kulera ana moyenera kumatha kukhala kovuta. Kulera ana mosamala sikuvomereza ngati A, ndiye B akuyenera kulera ana.

Njira iyi yakulera imafuna kuti anthu achikulire apereke mphamvu zambiri kwa mwana wawo. (Kulamula pang'ono kumatanthauza kuti zinthu zitha kukhala zazing'ono komanso zosadziwikiratu.)

M'malo mokhala ndi zochita zowonekera nthawi zonse, kulera ana mozindikira kumalimbikitsa kuti makolo azigwira ntchito ndi ana kuti athetse mavuto omwe angabuke ndikukhalabe munthawiyo.

Kuphatikiza apo, kulera ana mosamala kumabweretsa mavuto ena polera ana aang'ono. Pali nthawi zina, pofuna chitetezo, kholo limafunika kuchitapo kanthu mwachangu. Sikuti nthawi zonse zimatheka kuyima kaye ndikusinkhasinkha udindo wanu woyamba ndikuteteza mwana wanu.

Pomaliza, kwa makolo ena, zikhulupiriro zazikulu pamalingaliro oleredwa ndi makolo zitha kukhala zovuta. Mwachitsanzo, mzere wina wotsutsana kwambiri mu "The Conscious Parent" umati, "Kulera ana sikumakhala kovuta kapena kovuta tikazindikira chifukwa munthu amene amazindikira mwachibadwa amakhala wachikondi komanso wowona mtima." Zikuwoneka kuti makolo ambiri nthawi zina - ngati si tsiku ndi tsiku - amamva kuti kulera ana kumakhala kovuta kwambiri ndipo nthawi zambiri kumakhala kovuta.

Poganizira za nzeru za makolo, pakhoza kukhala nthawi zina nzeru zina zimakhala zomveka. Kulera ana mosamala sikungakhale koyenera pazochitika zilizonse kapena pamwana, kutengera malingaliro ena akulera komanso umunthu wa omwe akukhudzidwa.

Makolo ambiri amadalira chisakanizo cha nzeru za makolo polera ana awo ndikukhazikitsa zochita zawo pazinthu zingapo zovuta.

Zitsanzo zakulera mozindikira

Mukusokonezeka ndikuti kukhazikitsa izi kumawoneka bwanji m'moyo weniweni? Osadandaula, simuli nokha. Chifukwa chake, nachi chitsanzo chenicheni cha kalembedwe kakulera kozindikira kogwira ntchito.

Ingoganizirani kuti mwana wanu wazaka 5 wasiyidwa yekha ndipo wagwira lumo (zoopsa zoyipa za kholo lililonse!) Adasankha kusewera malo ometera ndikugwiritsa ntchito maluso awo atsopanowa ometa tsitsi lawo. Mwangolowa kumene ndikuwona zotsatira zake…

1. Pumani

M'malo mochita mokwiya kapena mantha, kupereka chilango msanga, kapena kuyimba mlandu mwanayo, monga kholo lomwe limachita kulera mozindikira mungatenge mphindi kuti mupume ndikudziyikira nokha. Tengani kamphindi kuti musunthire lumo pamalo abwino.

2. Ganizirani

Ndikofunika kutenga nthawi kuti muganizire pazomwe zingayambitse kapena zomwe zikuchitika pamwambowu musanamufotokozere mwana wanu. Mwayi mwina gawo laling'ono la inu likulingalira za zomwe makolo ena onse pabwalo lamasewera angaganize akawona mwana wanu motsatira! Nthawi yolola kuti ipite.

3. Khazikitsani malire

Kulera ana mozindikira kumaphatikizapo kukhazikitsa malire (makamaka pankhani yopempha kulumikizana mwaulemu). Chifukwa chake mwana wanu akapempha kuti agwiritse ntchito lumo m'mbuyomu ndikuwuzidwa kuti zitha kuchitika kokha ngati kholo likupezeka pazifukwa zachitetezo, ino ingakhale nthawi yoti anene kuphwanya kwa malire komwe kudakhazikitsidwa.

Komabe, muyeneranso kulingalira momwe mungathandizire mwana wanu kupita mtsogolo, monga kusamutsira lumo kumalo omwe sangathe kufikira okha. Kumbukirani: Kulera ana mosamala kumayesetsa kulumikizana komanso kukhala ndi maubwenzi enieni kwinaku mukuyang'ana chithunzi chokulirapo chomwe nthawi yayitali sichikhala chodulira tsitsi.

4. Landirani

Pomaliza, m'malo mokhumudwa kuti tsitsi la mwana wanu lingawoneke ngati labwino kwambiri, kulera ana mozindikira kungakufunseni kuti muvomere tsitsi komwe kuli pano. Palibe chifukwa chodandaula chifukwa cha matsitsitsi akale! Yakwana nthawi yoyeseza kumasula malingaliro anu.

Mutha kugwiritsa ntchito izi ngati mwayi wogwira ntchito ndi mwana wanu kuti apange tsitsi latsopano ngati angafune!

Tengera kwina

Ndizotheka kuti zonse zomwe zafotokozedwa pano zakulera mozindikira zimayenderana ndi momwe mukuganizira kuti kulera kuyenera kuchitidwa. Mbali inayi, mutha kutsutsana nazo zonsezi mwamphamvu. Simuli nokha komabe mumamva.

Palibe mtundu uliwonse wa kulera womwe umagwira ntchito bwino kwa mwana aliyense (kapena mkhalidwe uliwonse), chifukwa chake ndikofunikira kuphunzira za malingaliro osiyanasiyana olera. Simudziwa nthawi yomwe idzafike pothandiza! Mwinanso mudzakhala mukutsogolera gulu loyankha pagulu lotsatira la kholo lanu.