Kodi Kugonana Kochuluka Kumabweretsa Ubwenzi Wabwino?

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Tili ndi abwenzi omwe amalumbira kuti ali okhutira kwambiri ndiubwenzi wawo ngakhale atakhala otanganidwa kwambiri masabata apitawa. Chabwino, malinga ndi kafukufuku watsopano, iwo si BS-ing inu-kapena, osachepera, iwo sazindikira kuti ali. (Chosangalatsa ... Mukudabwa kuti anthu ena amagonana kangati?)

Kuchuluka komwe mumachita mopanda mantha kumakhudza momwe mumakhutidwira ndi ubale wanu, malinga ndi kafukufuku watsopano wofalitsidwa m'magazini Sayansi Yamaganizidwe koma sizowongoka momwe mungaganizire.

Kuchokera pamawonekedwe akusintha, mukamakhala nthawi yayitali inu ndi bae m'chipinda chogona, mumayenera kukhala okhutira kwambiri - zenizeni komanso mophiphiritsa. Kugonana kumagwira ntchito ngati njira yolumikizirana pamodzi (duh), zomwe ndi zofunika kwa chibadwa chopulumutsa mitundu monga kubereka ndi kulera ana. Koma ofufuza akafunsa maanja kuti amagonana kangati komanso amakhutira ndi ubale wawo wonse, sanapeze kulumikizana pakati pa kuchuluka kwa kugonana komwe muli nako komanso kukhala osangalala. (Kafukufuku wina adapeza kuti Kugonana Kwambiri sindidzatero Kupangitsani Kukhala Osangalala mu Ubwenzi.) Kodi chimapereka chiyani?

Pofufuza kusinthaku, ofufuza ochokera ku Florida State University adayesa osati mayankho okhudzidwa a maanja komanso malingaliro awo osazindikira za anzawo. Mu kafukufukuyu, okwatirana kumene 216 adachita kafukufuku kuti ayeze kukhutitsidwa kwa ubale. Adafunsidwa za momwe banja lawo lidalili labwino kapena loyipa, momwe amagonana kangati, komanso momwe amakhutira ndi wokondedwa wawo komanso ubale wawo wonse. Monga maphunziro am'mbuyomu, panalibe ubale pakati pao momwe maanja amagonana kangapo ndi kukhutira ndi ubale wawo.

Koma kenako maanja adamaliza ntchito kuti ayese m'matumbo mwawo momwe akumvera za wokondedwa wawo. Wotenga nawo mbali aliyense adawonetsedwa mawu omwe adayenera kuwayika kukhala abwino kapena oyipa, koma mawuwo asanawonekere, chithunzi cha mnzake chidawalira pazenera kwa sekondi imodzi. Lingaliro ndiloti poyambitsa chidwi cha omwe atenga nawo mbali ndi chithunzi cha S.O., nthawi yawo yoyankha ikanakhudzidwa - akamayankha mwachangu mawu olimbikitsa ndipo pang'onopang'ono momwe amayankhira pamawu olakwika zitha kuwonetsa momwe akumvera pazomwe akuchita. (Dziwani Momwe Ubale Wanu Umagwirizanirana ndi Thanzi Lanu.)

Tsopano ofufuzawo anapeza kugwirizana: Pamene okwatirana amakhala otanganidwa kwambiri, m’pamenenso amakhala ndi mayanjano abwino kwambiri ndi okondedwa awo.

Ndiye kodi izi zikutanthauza kuti ngati simukukhala ndi magawo atsiku ndi tsiku pakati pa mapepala omwe ubale wanu watha? Ayi. Koma ikufotokozera chifukwa chomwe mungayambire kumva zaubwenzi ndi munthu yemwe mukugona naye pa reg, osazindikira. Mfundo yofunika: Kugonana kumatha kupanga ma vibes abwino kwambiri omwe mwina sitimatha kuwazindikira; samalani, ndipo chotero muzigwiritsa ntchito mwanzeru! (Mukufuna kudzoza? Yesani Maudindo Apamwamba Ogonana M'mayiko Ozungulira Padziko Lonse Lapansi.)

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