Momwe Mungazindikire ndi Kuthana Ndi Kusakhazikika Kwamaganizidwe

Zamkati

• Ndi chiyani kwenikweni?
• Kodi mawonekedwe ake ndi otani?
• Sapita mozama
• Chilichonse chokhudza iwo
• Amakhala otetezeka
• Ali ndi nkhani zodzipereka
• Alibe zolakwa zawo
• Mumakhala osungulumwa kwambiri kuposa kale
• Momwe mungachitire
• Yambitsani kukambirana mosapita m'mbali
• Pangani malire abwino
• Funani thandizo kwa akatswiri
• Mfundo yofunika

Yerekezerani izi: Muli kutawuni ndi mnzanu ku lesitilanti yatsopano. Chilichonse chimawoneka changwiro. Koma mukamayesa kuwafunsa za tsogolo lanu limodzi, amapitiliza kusintha nkhaniyo.

Pomaliza, mumanena, kungoti awaseke nthabwala polipira inu - kukusiyani mukumva kukhumudwa konse.

Ngakhale kuti tonse takhala tikukhala ndi nthawi zachinyamata, izi zimatha kumangobweretsa mavuto paubwenzi, chifukwa munthu winayo akulephera kuganizira momwe mukumvera.

Ndi chiyani kwenikweni?

Wina wosakhwima m'maganizo zimamuvuta kulankhulana bwino kapena kusinthira momwe akumvera ndipo nthawi zambiri amatha kuwoneka ngati wodzikonda kapena wopanda pake.

Kodi mawonekedwe ake ndi otani?

Nazi zina mwa zisonyezo zakusakhwima m'maganizo zomwe zitha kuwonekera muubwenzi ndi zomwe mungachite ngati mungazizindikire nokha.

Sapita mozama

Monga tawonera pamwambapa, mnzanu wosakhwima m'maganizo achedwetsa zokambirana zovuta chifukwa sangathe kumvetsetsa zakumverera kwawo kapena kuzipeza kuti ndizovuta kwambiri kuthana nazo.

Adzazungulira pamitu popanda kuwulula zambiri ndipo sangalumikizane nanu mozama.

Nayi njira zina zosokoneza zomwe angagwiritse ntchito:

• kuseka mmalo mositsegula
• kukuuzani kuti akuyenera kukonza TV panthawiyi
• kunena kuti apanikizika kwambiri kuti sangalankhule
• kuimitsa zokambirana zanu sabata yamawa

Chilichonse chokhudza iwo

Ichi ndi vuto lalikulu. Anthu omwe sali okhwima mwauzimu nthawi zonse amabweretsa "ine factor" munthawi zosayenera. Atha kukhala ovuta kumvetsetsa kuti dziko silizungulira iwo.

Ngati wokondedwa wanu samvera nkhawa zanu kapena zomwe mumakonda, ndi chisonyezo chodziwikiratu kuti akukula motengeka.

Amakhala otetezeka

Mukabweretsa zina, amadzitchinjiriza kwambiri.

Mwachitsanzo, ngati mungadandaule kuti sanatenge zinyalala monga momwe ananenera, adzayankha ndi "Chifukwa chiyani mulibe mlandu wanga nthawi zonse?" kapena kuswa nthabwala yotsitsa ngati, "Zikuwoneka ngati PMSing ya wina."

Ali ndi nkhani zodzipereka

Kulankhula zamtsogolo kumatha kukhala kowopsa kwa munthu yemwe sanakhwime m'maganizo. Adzapewa kukonzekera zinthu limodzi chifukwa akuwopa kuchepa ufulu wawo.

Kodi akupereka zifukwa zoti musakumane ndi makolo anu kapena kuyesetsa kuti mupite limodzi kutchuthi? Kungakhale chizindikiro kuti ali odzipereka-oopa.

Alibe zolakwa zawo

Mwachidule: Sali ndi mlandu.

M'malo mokhala oganiza bwino ndikuvomereza pomwe asokoneza, adzaimba mlandu anthu ena kapena zochitika zina zomwe sangathe kuzilamulira.

Nazi zina zomwe anganene:

• "Abwana anga amangonditumizira maimelo ndipo sindinayandikire."
• "Steve adafuna kumwa chakumwa china kuti ndisafike kunyumba panthawi yake."
• "Wothandizira wanga waiwala kundikumbutsa tsiku lamasana lamasana."

Mumakhala osungulumwa kwambiri kuposa kale

Koposa zonse, mumakhala osungulumwa ndikuwona "kusiyana pakati pa" ubale wanu.

Kulumikizana kapena kulumikizana ndi anzanu ena kumakhala kokhazikika chifukwa mumamva kuti mulibe chithandizo, kumvetsetsa, komanso ulemu.

Palibenso njira yoti mufotokozere zosowa zanu ndi zokhumba zanu kuti mukambirane zosintha.

Momwe mungachitire

Ngati mumapezeka kuti mukugwedeza mutu ndikuzindikira zizindikiro zomwe zili pamwambazi, sikuti chiyembekezo chonse chimatha. Kusakhwima m'maganizo sikutanthauza kuti zinthu siziyenera kuchitika.

Chofunikira apa ndikuti ngati winayo ali wofunitsitsa kupanga kusintha. Ngati ndi choncho, pansipa pali njira zina zomwe mungachitire ndi khalidweli.

Yambitsani kukambirana mosapita m'mbali

Abweretseni kwa iwo. Chimodzi mwazinthu zosavuta koma zamphamvu zomwe tingachite ndikulankhula ndi munthu winayo ndikukhala omasuka kuyankha.

Mutha kuwadziwitsa momwe mikhalidwe yawo ikukhudzirani pogwiritsa ntchito ziganizo za "Ine" kenako ndikupempha njira zothetsera mavutowo.

Izi zimaphunzitsa ubongo wanu kuyankha, osati chifukwa chokwiyitsidwa kapena kukhumudwa.

Nazi zina mwa zotsatirazi zomwe mungayesere:

• “Titakhala limodzi, tinali ndi malingaliro okwatirana chaka chimodzi. Ndikumva kuwawa ndikudandaula kuti simudzakambirananso mutuwu. Kodi mungandithandizire kudziwa zifukwa zomwe mukukayikira? "
• “Ndikamagwira ntchito zambiri panyumba tsiku lililonse, ndimakhala wotopa komanso wotopa. Kodi pali njira zina zomwe mungandithandizire ndikachapa zovala sabata iliyonse ndikukonzekera chakudya? ”

Pangani malire abwino

Siyani kunyamula ulesi wa mnzanuyo ndikuchita nawo nawo zomwe angapeze zifukwa zodzisankhira.

Ndikofunikira kuti amvetsetse kuti machitidwe awo ali ndi zotsatirapo zake komanso kuti simupitilizabe kutenga nawo mbali pazovuta zawo.

M'munsimu muli njira zina zowonjezeramo chitsimikizo ndikukhazikitsa malire:

• Khalani odzidalira. Dziwani za gawo lanu lokhazikika. Dziwani kuti ndi zinthu ziti zomwe zimakupweteketsani mtima, kusakhazikika kapena kukwiya.
• Lankhulani ndi mnzanu. Nenani kuti pali zinthu zina zomwe simudzalekerera, monga kufuula kapena kunamizidwa.
• Tsatirani zomwe mumanena. Palibe kusiyanasiyana. Izi zingatanthauze kutenga mseu waukulu mukakwiya ndi kuwadziwitsa kuti mudzakhala okonzeka kuyankhula akakhala okonzeka kukambirana zinthu mwauchikulire.

Funani thandizo kwa akatswiri

Kulankhula kudzera m'mantha komanso kusatetezeka kumatha kuthandiza munthu kukulitsa kuzindikira za momwe zochita zawo zimakhudzira ena.

Ngati mnzanu ali wofunitsitsa kuti azigwira yekha ntchito, kuthana ndi mavuto ndi wothandizira amatha kuwathandiza kuzindikira momwe akumvera ndikupeza maluso athanzi.

Mfundo yofunika

Kukula mwauzimu kumatanthauzidwa ndi kuthekera kosamalira momwe tikumvera ndikutenga gawo lathu lonse pazomwe tichita. Pamapeto pa tsikulo, ngakhale titayesetsa motani kulumikizana ndi wokondedwa wathu, zili kwa iwo kuzindikira kuti machitidwe awo akuyenera kusintha.

Ngati mwakhala limodzi kwamuyaya ndipo mukumva kuti pali mwayi wabwino kuti sangakule kuchokera munjira zawo zachibwana, ndi nthawi yoti musunthe. Chizindikiro chimodzi chopusa? Amapitilizabe zolakwitsa zomwezo mobwerezabwereza.

Kumbukirani: Mukuyenera kukhala pachibwenzi chachikondi, chothandizana ndi mnzanu amene amakulemekezani - osati munthu amene mudzasungulumwe naye.

Cindy Lamothe ndi mtolankhani wodziyimira pawokha wokhala ku Guatemala. Amalemba zambiri zamalumikizidwe pakati pa thanzi, ukhondo, ndi sayansi yamakhalidwe amunthu. Adalembedwera The Atlantic, New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, Quartz, The Washington Post, ndi ena ambiri. Pezani iye pa cindylamothe.com.