Zifukwa 4 Zomwe Anzanu Amasiya (ndi Momwe Mungachitire)

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• Mmene Mungachitire—ndi Mmene Mungachiritsire
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Kuyendetsa njira yosiyana kuchokera kuntchito kuti apewe nyumba yake. Kumuletsa pa Instagram. Kumusokoneza pa Facebook. Kupewa malo odyera komwe mungakumane nawo. Izi zikumveka kwambiri ngati zomwe wakale angakuchitireni mutapatukana, koma munthawi zodzikuza kwambiri, nditha kunena kuti ndachita izi (kapena ndachita izi) ndi wakale BFF .

"Kutha kwa bwenzi kungakhale chinthu chodzipatula kwambiri kuposa kutha kwa chibwenzi," akutero a Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., wama psychology and profesa wama psychiatry ku NYU School of Medicine. Komabe samalankhulidwa pafupifupi pafupifupi. "Abwenzi azimayi atasiyana, azimayi omwe akukhudzidwawo safuna kuuza anthu ena omwe angathandizire chifukwa chazisokonezo. Chodabwitsa ndichakuti, munthu m'modzi yemwe mayiyu adamupempha kuti amuthandize atha kukhala BFF yemwe adasiyana naye." (Zokhudzana: Zotsatira Zodabwitsa Zomwe Abwenzi Anu Amakhala Nazo Pazolimbitsa Thupi Lanu)

Ndiye ndichifukwa chiyani izi zikuchitika, mwina tsopano munthawi yathu yadijito kuposa kale? Ndipo mkazi ayenera kuchita chiyani-kupatula kumiza chisoni chake pagalasi la vinyo pomwe akuwonera magawo awonetsero ogawikana abwenzi. Zabwino Kwambiri? (Inde, ilipo.) Izi ndi zomwe akatswiri ofufuza ndi maubwenzi ati ndi zifukwa zinayi zodziwika bwino za pals, kuphatikiza maupangiri amomwe mungabwerere.

1. Kuyenda pang'onopang'ono.

M'malo mophulika kwambiri, chimodzi mwazofala kwambiri-zowononga maubwenzi zimachitika pang'onopang'ono. "Kukwiya kumatha kukula munthu wina akakhumudwa kapena kukhumudwitsidwa ndi mnzake, osati kamodzi kokha, koma mobwerezabwereza. Pakapita nthawi, zimamveka ngati mnzanuyo palibe pomwe amafunikira," akutero a Levine, chifukwa chake mumathawa . Yambani pokambirana ndi wina ndi mzake ndikugwira ntchito yogwirizana, yothandizana. Koma nkhani zoyankhulirana nthawi zambiri zimakhala pachimake. Ngati simungathe kupeza chigamulo kapena mnzanu wa MIA sakumva ngati palibe cholakwika, ingakhale nthawi yoti musiye.

2. Umbanda wapamtima.

Mwina chodziwikiratu mwa onse omwe amagwirizana ndi anzawo, "apa ndi pamene bwenzi limachita chinthu choopsa kwambiri, silingayiwale, monga kunama, kuba, kapena kuchita zibwenzi ndi mnzako," a Levine akufotokoza. Kupatula pakuchita nkhanza, izi zimapweteketsa mtima. Chifukwa chake ngati mwazunzidwa, musamve chisoni chifukwa chosayesa kukonza mipanda yaubwenzi. Koma kumbukirani langizo lalikulu la Levine: “Musanyoze mnzanuyo chifukwa cha mabwenzi anu onse.

3. Ma vampire amphamvu.

"Ngati munthu m'modzi akuyesetsa nthawi zonse, kapena ngati akufuna zambiri ndipo nthawi zonse amafunsa zabwino, kusoweka kumeneko kumatha kuyamwa mphamvu kuchokera kwa mnzake. Ndizotopetsa nthawi zonse kuchita khama," akutero a Levine. Koma nchifukwa ninji izi zimachitika? Pafupifupi 50 peresenti yaubwenzi ndikubwezeretsanso, ofufuza a MIT apeza, ndipo ndife oyipa pakudziwitsa kuti ndi ndani moona abwenzi.

4. Mizimu.

"Poyerekeza ndi maubwenzi a magazi pakati pa achibale, maubwenzi ndi mabwenzi ndi odzifunira. Timasankha mabwenzi athu chifukwa amawonjezera miyoyo yathu, "akutero Levine. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazifukwa zambiri zomwe zimapweteka kwambiri mnzako akangosowa-kaya zikutanthauza kukana kuyitanidwa kulikonse kapena kusayankha mafoni kapena malemba. “Tikakhala ndi ubwenzi wapamtima, sitiganiza n’komwe za kuthekera kwakuti ubwenziwo ungathe,” anawonjezera motero.

Chimodzi mwazinthu zovuta kwambiri: Nthawi zambiri sipakhala chifukwa chomveka chomwe amapangira Caspers, chifukwa chake ndizovuta kupereka zifukwa zomwe simunalinso abwenzi.

Mmene Mungachitire—ndi Mmene Mungachiritsire

Choyambirira, "vomerezani kuti anthu amasintha, monganso momwe moyo umasinthira, ndipo siubwenzi wonse womwe umakhalapo kwamuyaya. Musaganize kuti kutha kwa ubale kumathetsa ubale wonsewo. Mwakula ndikuphunzira kuchokera pamenepo, zomwe zikupangitsani kukhala bwenzi labwino ndikukuthandiza kusankha bwino mtsogolo, "akutero a Levine.

Kenako sungani malangizowo m'maganizo anu mukamapita patsogolo:

1. Osaugwira mtima.

"Amuna kapena abwenzi amatha kupeputsa kulekana ngati 'kumenyera mphaka,'" koma sizomwe zimachitika, a Levine akutero. “Munthu amene wasudzulana ndi mnzake angada nkhaŵa kuti ngati aulula za kutha kwa ukwatiwo, akazi ena angaganize kuti si bwenzi lapamtima kapena sangakhale ndi mabwenzi. Kotero ngati mukuwopa kuyankhula za izo, ikani cholembera papepala, akutero Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., Ph.D., pulofesa ndi wapampando wa psychology pa yunivesite ya Monmouth ku New Jersey ndi cocreator ndi mkonzi wa ScienceOfRelationships.com. “Kulemba za chochitikacho kudzakuthandizani kulinganiza malingaliro anu ndi kukupatsani mpata woika maganizo pa zinthu zabwinozo kuwonjezera pa zoipazo.

2. Wonjezerani kufikira kwanu.

Chisangalalo chanu chimakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi anzanu, komanso anzanu a anzanu, atero kafukufuku wofalitsidwa m'magaziniyi British Medical Journal. Chifukwa chake pitirirani: Tsatirani zomwe mumadziwa pa Instagram (mukudziwa, mayiyo yemwe nthawi zonse amawoneka akuseka komanso kuchita chidwi) ndikuyamba kugogoda kawiri pazinthu zomwe zimabweretsa kumwetulira. Chisangalalo chake chingakhale chanu, ndipo ndani akudziwa? Mutha kulimbikitsidwa kuti mumufunse khofi.

3. Yang'anani pa abwenzi omwe muli nawo.

Izi zithandizira kuti malingaliro anu asawunikire zambiri za mnzake wakale. "Poyamba, chimodzi mwazinthu zovuta kwambiri zitha kukhala kuthana ndi mipata m'dongosolo lanu. Izi zitha kukhala zokumbutsani pafupipafupi momwe mnzake wakale adakhudzira moyo wanu," akutero a Levine. M'malo mongoganizira zomwe zinali, pindulani kwambiri ndi mabwenzi omwe atsala. Ngakhale maubale ochepa chabe awonetsedwa kuti akuthandizeni kukhala ndi moyo wosangalala komanso wosangalala, choncho khalani ndi tsiku loyenda sabata limodzi ndi mnzanu amene mumangodya kamodzi pamwezi. “Khalani otanganidwa, tsatirani zokonda zanu ndi zokonda zanu, ndipo fufuzani mwachangu mabwenzi atsopano ndikutsitsimutsanso akale,” akutero Levine. (Zogwirizana: Sayansi Ikuti Ubwenzi Ndiwo Chinsinsi Chokhala Ndi Moyo Wosatha ndi Chimwemwe)

4. Osawopa kupita kwa akatswiri.

Ngati mukumva kuti muli kutali ndi BFF itatha, musawope kufunafuna thandizo lomwelo. Kapena, "lingalirani zolankhula ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo kuti muthe kuthana ndi vutoli," akutero. (Zogwirizana: Chifukwa Chomwe Aliyense Ayenera Kuyesa Chithandizo Chake Mosachepera Kamodzi)

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