Sayansi Ikuti Ubwenzi Ndiwo Chinsinsi Chokhala Ndi Moyo Wosatha Komanso Chimwemwe

Zamkati

• Onaninso za

Achibale ndi abwenzi ndi mitundu iwiri yofunika ya maubale m'moyo wanu, mosakayikira. Koma zikafika pakukupangitsani kukhala osangalala pakapita nthawi, mungadabwe kuti ndi gulu liti lomwe lili lamphamvu kwambiri. Ngakhale kuti achibale ndi ofunika, pankhani ya thanzi labwino ndi chisangalalo, ndi mabwenzi omwe amapanga kusiyana kwakukulu-makamaka pamene mukukula, malinga ndi kafukufuku watsopano. ( Dziwani njira 12 zomwe bwenzi lanu lapamtima limakulitsira thanzi lanu.)

Nkhani yofalitsidwa m'magazini Ubale Wamunthu, yomwe ikufotokoza mwachidule zopezedwa za maphunziro aŵiri ogwirizana, inavumbula kuti pamene kuli kwakuti onse aŵiri achibale ndi mabwenzi amathandiza ku thanzi ndi chimwemwe, unali maunansi amene anthu amakhala nawo ndi mabwenzi amene amakhala ndi chiyambukiro chachikulu pambuyo pake m’moyo. Onse, anthu opitilira 278,000 azaka zosiyanasiyana ochokera kumayiko pafupifupi 100 adayesedwa, ndikuwonetsa kuti ali ndi thanzi labwino komanso chisangalalo. Makamaka, mu kafukufuku wachiwiri (yemwe amayang'ana kwambiri okalamba, makamaka), zidapezeka kuti pomwe abwenzi amayambitsa mavuto kapena kupsinjika, anthu amafotokoza matenda ochulukirapo, pomwe wina amamva kuti amathandizidwa ndiubwenzi wawo, amafotokoza zaumoyo zochepa ndi chimwemwe chowonjezeka. (Monga momwe amakuthandizirani kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi ovuta. Inde, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi ndi mnzanu kumatha kukulitsa kupirira kwanu.) Ndikofunika kudziwa, komabe, kuti ofufuzawo sanatchule bwino pakati pa zomwe zimayambitsa zinazo. Kusemphana maganizo ndi mnzako sikudzadwalitsadi.

Chifukwa chiyani? Zonse zimabwera posankha, akutero William Chopik, Ph.D., wolemba pepala komanso pulofesa ku Michigan State University. "Ndikuganiza kuti mwina zikukhudzana ndi kusankha mabwenzi-tikhoza kusunga omwe timakonda ndikuzimilira pang'onopang'ono mwa omwe sitikufuna," akufotokoza. "Nthawi zambiri timakhala tikucheza ndi anzathu, pomwe maubale am'banja nthawi zambiri amakhala opanikiza, osalimbikitsa, kapena osasangalatsa."

Ndizothekanso kuti mabwenzi amadzaza mipata yosiyidwa ndi achibale kapena kupereka chithandizo m'njira zomwe achibale sangakwanitse kapena ayi, akuwonjezera. Anzanu akhozanso kukumvetsetsani mosiyana ndi banja lanu, chifukwa cha zomwe mwakumana nazo komanso zomwe mumakonda. Ichi ndichifukwa chake ndikofunikira kwambiri kukhala ndi ubale ndi anzanu akale kapena kuyesetsa kulumikizananso ngati mwasiya kulumikizana ndi bwenzi lanu laubwana kapena mlongo wamatsenga. Ngakhale kusintha kwa moyo ndi mtunda kungapangitse izi kukhala zovuta nthawi zina, zopindulitsa ndizoyenera kuyesetsa kutenga foni kapena kutumiza imelo.

"Mabwenzi ndi ena mwa maubwenzi ovuta kwambiri kukhala nawo pa moyo wonse," akutero Chopik. "Zina mwazomwezi zimakhudzana ndikusowa choyenera. Anzanu amakhala nthawi limodzi chifukwa amafuna ndikusankha, osati chifukwa choti ayenera kutero."

Mwamwayi, pali njira zosavuta zopezera ndi kukulitsa maubwenzi ofunika. Chopik amalimbikitsa kuti muwonetsetse kuti mukukhala nawo tsiku lililonse anzanuwo tsiku ndi tsiku pogawana nawo zomwe zikuwayendera bwino ndikuwayanjanitsa ndi zolephera zawo - khalani osangalala komanso phewa lodalira. Kuphatikiza apo, akuti kugawana ndi kuyesa ntchito zatsopano limodzi kumathandiza, monganso kuthokoza. Kuuza anthu kuti mumawakonda ndipo mumawakonda kupezeka kwanu m'moyo wanu ndichinthu chaching'ono kuchita, koma zitha kupanga kusiyana kwakukulu m'miyoyo ya aliyense. Pachifukwachi, muyenera kukhala mukuthokoza chifukwa cha abwenzi onse ndipo banja.

Palibe mwa izi ndikunena kuti banja silofunika, koma kuti maubwenzi amapereka phindu lapadera, ndipo muyenera kupeza nthawi yokulitsa maubwenzi apaderawa. Inde, tangokupatsani umboni wasayansi kuti mukufunikira usiku wa atsikana, STAT.

Onaninso za