Momwe Mungadzikhululukire Nokha

Zamkati

• 1. Muziganizira kwambiri za mmene mukumvera
• 2. Vomerezani cholakwacho mokweza
• 3. Tengani cholakwa chilichonse ngati chokumana nacho chophunzirira
• 4. Dzipatseni chilolezo choimitsa njirayi
• 5. Kambiranani ndi wotsutsa wamkati
• 6. Zindikirani pamene mukukhala otsutsa
• 7. Khalani chete mauthenga olakwika a wosuliza wanu wamkati
• 8. Dziwitsani bwino zomwe mukufuna
• 9.Tengani uphungu wanu
• 10. Siyani kusewera tepi
• 11. Onetsani kukoma mtima ndi chifundo
• 12. Funani akatswiri
• Kutenga

Kupanga mtendere ndikupita patsogolo nthawi zambiri kumakhala kosavuta kunenedwa kuposa kuchita. Kukhala wokhoza kudzikhululukira kumafuna chifundo, chifundo, kukoma mtima, ndi kumvetsetsa. Zimafunikanso kuvomereza kuti kukhululuka ndichisankho.

Kaya mukuyesera kuthana ndi cholakwika chaching'ono kapena chomwe chimakhudza magawo onse amoyo wanu, njira zomwe muyenera kuchita kuti mudzikhululukire ziziwoneka chimodzimodzi.

Tonsefe timalakwitsa nthawi zina. Monga anthu, ndife opanda ungwiro. Chinyengo, akutero Arlene B. Englander, LCSW, MBA, PA ndikuphunzira ndikusunthira pazolakwitsa zathu. Zowawa komanso zosasangalatsa momwe zimamvekera, pali zinthu m'moyo zomwe ndiyofunika kupirira zowawa kuti mupite patsogolo, ndikudzikhululukira nokha ndi chimodzi mwazomwezo.

Nawa maupangiri 12 omwe mungayese nthawi yotsatira mukadzikhululukira.

1. Muziganizira kwambiri za mmene mukumvera

Imodzi mwa njira zoyamba kuphunzira momwe mungadzikhululukire ndi kuyang'ana pa momwe mukumvera. Musanapite patsogolo, muyenera kutero. Dzipatseni chilolezo kuti muzindikire ndikuvomereza zomwe zakhudzidwa mwa inu ndikuzilandira.

2. Vomerezani cholakwacho mokweza

Mukalakwitsa ndikupitiliza kulimbana ndi kuzisiya, zivomerezani mokweza zomwe mwaphunzira pazolakwazo, akutero a Jordan Pickell, MCP, RCC.

Mukapereka liwu kuzolingalira zomwe zili m'mutu mwanu komanso momwe mumamvera mumtima mwanu, mutha kudzimasula ku zovuta zina. Mumakhazikitsanso m'malingaliro mwanu zomwe mwaphunzira kuchokera pazomwe mwachita komanso zotsatira zake.

3. Tengani cholakwa chilichonse ngati chokumana nacho chophunzirira

Englander akuganiza za "cholakwika" chilichonse ngati chidziwitso chomwe chimakhala ndi chinsinsi chopita patsogolo mwachangu komanso mosasintha mtsogolo.

Kukumbutsa tokha kuti tidachita zonse zomwe tingathe ndi zida ndi chidziwitso chomwe tidali nacho panthawiyo, kutithandiza kudzikhululukira tokha ndikupita mtsogolo.

4. Dzipatseni chilolezo choimitsa njirayi

Ngati mukulakwitsa koma zikukuvutani kuzichotsa m'malingaliro mwanu, Pickell akuti kuti muwone m'maganizo mwanu momwe mumamvera pakulakwitsa kolowera mchidebe, monga mtsuko wamasoni kapena bokosi.

Kenako, dziwitseni nokha kuti mukuyiyika pambaliyi pakadali pano ndipo mubwerera ku izo ngati zingakupindulitseni komanso liti.

5. Kambiranani ndi wotsutsa wamkati

Kulemba nkhani kumatha kukuthandizani kumvetsetsa wotsutsa wanu wamkati ndikupanga kudzimvera chisoni. Pickell akuti chinthu chimodzi chomwe mungachite ndikulemba "zokambirana" pakati panu ndi wotsutsa wamkati. Izi zitha kukuthandizani kuzindikira malingaliro omwe akuwononga kukhululuka kwanu.

Muthanso kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi yolemba kuti mulembe mndandanda wamakhalidwe omwe mumakonda, kuphatikiza mphamvu zanu komanso luso lanu. Izi zitha kuthandiza kukulitsa kudzidalira kwanu mukakhumudwa chifukwa cholakwitsa.

6. Zindikirani pamene mukukhala otsutsa

Ndife otsutsa athu enieni, sichoncho? Ndicho chifukwa chake Pickell akuti chinthu chimodzi chofunikira ndichakuti muzindikire pamene mawu okhwima aja abwera ndiyeno mulembe. Mungadabwe ndi zomwe wotsutsa wamkati akunena kwa inu.

7. Khalani chete mauthenga olakwika a wosuliza wanu wamkati

Nthawi zina zimakhala zovuta kuzindikira malingaliro omwe akuyamba kukhululuka. Ngati mukuvutika kuthetsa kusuliza kwanu, Pickell akuwonetsa izi:

• Kumbali imodzi ya pepala, lembani zomwe wotsutsa wamkati wanena (zomwe nthawi zambiri zimakhala zotsutsa komanso zopanda nzeru).
• Kumbali ina ya pepalalo, lembani yankho lanu lomvera chisoni komanso lomveka bwino pazinthu zonse zomwe mwalemba mbali inayo ya pepala.

8. Dziwitsani bwino zomwe mukufuna

Ngati cholakwacho mudakhumudwitsa munthu wina, muyenera kudziwa njira yoyenera kuchitapo. Kodi mukufuna kulankhula ndi munthuyu ndikupepesa? Kodi ndikofunikira kuyanjananso nawo ndikukonzekera?

Ngati muli pampanda pazomwe mungachite, mungafune kuganizira zokonza. Izi zimangodutsa kunena kuti pepani kwa munthu amene mwam'pweteketsa. M'malo mwake, yesetsani kukonza zomwe mwalakwitsa. Kafukufuku wina adapeza kuti kudzikhululukira tokha kukhumudwitsa ena ndikosavuta ngati titakambirana.

9.Tengani uphungu wanu

Nthawi zambiri, zimakhala zosavuta kuuza wina zoyenera kuchita kuposa kutsatira upangiri wathu. Wolemba maukwati ovomerezeka ndi mabanja, Heidi McBain, LMFT, LPT, RPT akuti dzifunseni nokha zomwe mungamuuze mnzanu wapamtima ngati akugawana zolakwitsa zomwe adapanga nanu, kenako mutenge upangiri wanu.

Ngati mukuvutika kuti mugwire izi m'mutu mwanu, zitha kuthandizira kusewera ndi mnzanu. Afunseni kuti atenge zolakwa zanu. Akuuzani zomwe zidachitika komanso momwe akuvutikira kuti adzikhululukire.

Mumakhala operekera upangiri ndikuzolowera kumuuza mnzanu momwe angayendere.

10. Siyani kusewera tepi

Ndi chibadwa chaumunthu kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi ndi mphamvu kubwezera zolakwitsa zathu. Ngakhale kukonzanso kuli kofunikira, kuwerenganso zomwe zidachitika mobwerezabwereza sikungakuloleni kuti muchitepo kanthu kuti mudzikhululukire.

Mukadzipeza mukusewera tepi "Ndine munthu woipa", imani nokha ndikuyang'ana pa chinthu chimodzi chothandiza. Mwachitsanzo, m'malo mobwezera tepi, pumani katatu kapena mupite kokayenda.

Kusokoneza malingaliro kungakuthandizeni kuti musiye kukumana ndi zoyipazo ndipo

11. Onetsani kukoma mtima ndi chifundo

Ngati yankho lanu loyamba pazinthu zoyipa ndikudzidzudzula nokha, ndi nthawi yoti mudzionetsere ena kukoma mtima ndi chifundo. Njira yokhayo yoyambira ulendo wokhululuka ndikukhala okoma mtima ndi achifundo kwa iwemwini.

Izi zimatenga nthawi, kuleza mtima, ndikudzikumbutsa kuti ndinu oyenera kukhululukidwa.

12. Funani akatswiri

Ngati mukuvutika kuti mudzikhululukire, mungapindule polankhula ndi akatswiri. McBain amalimbikitsa kuyankhula ndi mlangizi yemwe angakuthandizeni kuphunzira momwe mungasinthire zosavomerezeka m'moyo wanu ndikuphunzira njira zatsopano komanso zathanzi zolimbirana ndi zolakwitsa.

Kutenga

Kukhululuka ndikofunikira pakuchira chifukwa kumakupatsani mwayi wosiya mkwiyo, kudziimba mlandu, manyazi, kukhumudwa, kapena kumverera kwina kulikonse komwe mwina mukukumana nako, ndikupitiliza.

Mukazindikira zomwe mukumva, perekani mawu ndikuvomereza kuti zolakwitsa ndizosapeweka. Muyamba kuwona m'mene kumasulidwa kwa chikhululukiro kungakhalire.