Kuyambitsa Kugonana sikuyenera Kukhala Kovuta - Umu Ndi Momwe Mungapangire Kusuntha Kwanu

Zamkati

• Tayani zomwe mukuganiza kuti mukudziwa
• Zimangokhala zachilendo mukamapanga zachilendo
• Palibe mtundu umodzi wokwanira
• Pangani kukhala kwanu
• Fotokozani momveka bwino
• Pangani kutsata tsiku lonse
• Phunzirani chilankhulo chawo chachikondi
• Chivomerezo ndicho chokha chokhazikika
• M'magulu wamba
• Anthu amakumana
• App moyo
• Mu maubale omwe angopangidwa kumene
• Wina amene mwalumikizana naye kangapo
• Wina yemwe wakhala 'ukumuwona' koma sunagonane naye
• Wina yemwe mwakhala mukukhala naye pachibwenzi ndikugonana naye ... koma chatsopano
• Mu maubale okhazikika
• Muubwenzi wanthawi yayitali
• Pangani Inde, Ayi, Mwinanso lembani
• Pitani ku shopu yogonana
• Ndandanda yogonana
• Muzisinthana
• Khalani bwino

Timaphatikizapo zinthu zomwe timaganiza kuti ndizothandiza kwa owerenga athu. Ngati mutagula maulalo omwe ali patsamba lino, titha kupeza ndalama zochepa. Nayi njira yathu.

Kuyamba kugonana ndi sooo Pre- # MeToo kuyenda. Kuitanitsa wina kuti agone naye m'chiuno kwambiri (werengani: kuvomerezana komanso kuphatikiza jenda).

Pansipa, wophunzitsa zakugonana komanso womenyera ufulu August McLaughlin, wolemba "Girl Boner" ndi "Girl Boner Journal," ndi Dr. Chris Donaghue, katswiri wazakugonana ndi chibwenzi pa SKYN Makondomu, afotokozere zolakwika zazomwe zidachitika kale, ndi momwe kuitana kugonana ndi njira yovomerezana komanso yosangalatsa kuti mupitilize.

Kuphatikiza apo, momwe "mungatumizire" kuyitanidwa kulikonse pagulu lachibwenzi.

Tayani zomwe mukuganiza kuti mukudziwa

Vomerezani kuti: Mawu oti "kuyambitsa zogonana" akuwonetsa chithunzi cha mwamuna wanjala wanjala akusonkhezera mnzake wosakhala wopanda ufulu - aka ndi wachikale AF.

Ndi zachikale komanso zovuta kuganiza kuti ma cis dudes ndi omwe amayambitsa kuyambitsa kugonana, atero a Donaghue. "Zili zachikale kuti amuna onse amalimbikira kuchita zogonana ndipo nthawi zonse amakhala osangalala."

Wowononga: Sali.

"Chilakolako chimakhala payekha ndipo sichidalira kugonana kapena kugonana," akutero McLaughlin. "Aliyense atha kufuna kenako ndikuchitapo kanthu kuti agonane."

Kuitananso kukuwonetsanso kuti winayo (anthu) atha kunena kuti ayi momwe kuyambitsira sikutanthauza.

"Ndi chiitano chakugonana, mukuyang'ana, mosiyana ndi ndithudi kuyamba china chake, "akuwonjezera McLaughlin.

Zimangokhala zachilendo mukamapanga zachilendo

Kuchita chilichonse kwa nthawi yoyamba azimva mantha pang'ono. Ganizirani: kusinthana gofu, kuyendetsa kumanzere kwa mseu, kukumana ndi apongozi anu omwe mwina mukukhala nawo.

Zomwezo zimaphatikizaponso kuitana wina kuti azigonana koyamba - kaya ndi boo kapena Tinder macheza a nthawi yayitali.

Chochitika chabwino kwambiri - kaya chisangalalo, matupi amaliseche, kukwatirana, kapena china chilichonse - ndichofunika kuthana ndi malingaliro amenewo.

Chifukwa kuitana wina kuti agonane kumatanthauzanso kuitana kuthekera koti sakufuna kugonana, McLaughlin amalimbikitsa kuti azichita luso lokanidwa pagalasi.

"Ngati wina atakana kapena akukana, athokozeni chifukwa chogawana nawo ndikulemekeza malire awo, kenako pitilirani."

Donaghue akuti ndizothandiza kukumbukira kuti kukanidwa kwa wina ndi mnzake nthawi zambiri sikutanthauza za inu.

"Nthawi zambiri zimakhudza momwe akumvera, kudzilemekeza thupi, kusowa kwa umagwirira pakati panu nonse, kapena china chake chomwe chikuchitika mdziko lawo."

Palibe mtundu umodzi wokwanira

Kuyenda mozungulira nyumba mu négligée yanu kumatha kukuthandizani kuti muziyikidwa pansi mukakhala kunyumba kwanu kwa nthawi yayitali. Mwachiwonekere sizingakhale zothandiza ngati munthu amene mukufuna kumuwombera ndi Tinder machesi yemwe amakhala mtunda wa mamailo 300.

Yemwe ukuyambitsa naye kugonana zimapangitsa kusiyana. Zomwezo zimapitilira komwe muli panthawi yoyambitsa.

Komabe, pali zina zofunika kuchita kuti muzisunga malingaliro.

Pangani kukhala kwanu

Monga mwalamulo, kubwera kwamtunduwu kumakhala bwino kwambiri.

Kutanthauza: sindine zambiri nyama yonyansa. Ndine nyama yamphongo yonyansa chifukwa cha momwe ng'ombe zanu zimawonekera m'zidendene kapena momwe ma biceps anu amadzazira tiyi.

Anthu amakonda kumva kuti amafunidwa.

Fotokozani momveka bwino

Ngakhale mukuganiza kuti ndinu omveka bwino, mutha kumveka bwino. Makamaka ngati boo ndi womvera wabwino.

Ngati zomwe mukufuna ndizowatsikira, nenani choncho. Ngati zomwe mukufuna ndichachangu kubafa, nenani choncho.

Mukakhala kuti simuli mumkhalidwe wokhudzana ndi kugonana kapena kuganiza zokhala nawo, kuchoka kumeneko mpaka kukagonana kumatha kumva ngati kopita patali.

Kupatsa winawake zochitika zakugonana kumamupatsa zambiri kuti apite. Ngati zitha kuchitika, zimakupatsaninso zomwe mukufuna.

Pangani kutsata tsiku lonse

Kodi muli ndi maloto odetsa za FWB yanu? Ganizirani za machesi omwe mwakhala mukukambirana mukusamba? Kumbukirani momwe mnzanu amakondera popita kuntchito?

Uzani 'em. Kutumizirana zithunzi zolaula ndiye chiwonetsero chachikulu kwambiri.

Yambani ndi china chake chonyengerera, ndipo ngati ayankhanso chimodzimodzi, lolani kuti msonkhanowu ukhale wopitilira tsikulo.

Ngati, komabe, atseka zokambiranazo, osazitulutsa thukuta - pitilizani ndi tsiku lanu.

Phunzirani chilankhulo chawo chachikondi

Izi zitha kukhala zovuta kuzichita ngati ndi mnzanu wamba, koma yesetsani kuyitanitsa momwe mnzanu amalandirira chikondi.

Ngati chilankhulo chawo chachikondi chikulandila mphatso, mutha kuyeserera kuwapatsa kabudula wamkati wogonana, bokosi latsopano la kondomu, kapena chidole chogonana chomwe mwakhala mukukambirana.

Ngati chilankhulo chawo chachikondi ndi mawu obvomereza, pitirizani kuwauza momwe amvekere mukapsompsona khosi lawo, kapena momwe mumayang'anirako akuwavina akuvina.

Chivomerezo ndicho chokha chokhazikika

Ayi ifs, ands, kapena ma buts. Kapena matako.

Ndi chinthu chimodzi kupsompsona mnzanu - pamene kupsompsona ndi gawo lanthawi zonse momwe mumalumikizirana - kuti muwathandize kukhala ndi malingaliro.

Ndizosiyana kwambiri kuyamba mwachisawawa kupsompsona zidutswa zawo popanda kutchula chilolezo.

“Mukufuna kuti zochitika zanu zogonana zizike mu chisangalalo ndi chitonthozo kwa aliyense, sichoncho? Chabwino ndipamene chilolezo chofunitsitsa chimabwera, "akutero a Donaghue.

Popanda chilolezo chofunitsitsa, si kugonana, akutero. Ndi nkhanza zakugonana.

M'magulu wamba

Zolemba zambiri zosasunthika zimagwera mumodzi mwamisasa iwiri: anthu omwe mumakumana nawo IRL ndi omwe mumakumana nawo pa intaneti. Njira yanu kwa aliyense ndi yosiyana pang'ono.

Anthu amakumana

Kumanani ndi winawake pa bowling bar, bar, kapena speakeasy yomwe mukufuna kupita nayo kunyumba?

"Yambani ndi nkhani zazing'ono zenizeni musanapite nthawi yogonana," akutero McLaughlin. Izi zidzakuthandizani kuwonetsetsa kuti mukufunadi kugonana nawo (zofunika!).

Ngati mukukhalabe ndi chidwi chocheza pang'ono, amalimbikitsa kuti mupite moona mtima komanso mwaulemu.

Mwachitsanzo, "Ndikudziwa kuti sitikudziwana, koma ndingakufunseni funso lanokha?"

Ngati yankho lanu ndi inde, fufuzani ngati ali pachibwenzi ndipo, ngati ndi choncho, ngati ali ndi mgwirizano uliwonse, monga kukhala ndi mkazi mmodzi.

Njira ina: "Ndikuganiza kuti mulidi [ikani chiganizo chowona apa] ndipo, ngati mukufuna, ndikanakupsompsonani ndipo mwina ndiziwona komwe zipiteko. Ngati sichoncho, zonse zili bwino. "

App moyo

Anthu osambira amasambira pazifukwa zambiri. Ngati zanu ndichifukwa choti mukufuna kugonana, muyenera kumveka bwino.

Mizere ina yoyeserera ndi bwenzi la pa intaneti:

• "Ndikufuna kusiya zonamizira zonse ndikukhala omveka: kuwonjezera pa [zochitika zamasiku pano], ndikufunanso [kuchita zogonana pano] Lachinayi. Kodi ndinu okonzeka kuchita izi? ”
• “Kodi ndandanda wako umawoneka bwanji sabata yamawa? Ndikufuna pamapeto pake [alowetseni zogonana pano]. "
• "Tisanafike pamasom'pamaso ndikufuna kukhala patsogolo: Ndikuyang'ana anthu omwe ndimagonana nawo mwachisawawa ndipo ndikuyembekeza kuti ndi zomwe tidzapezane. Ngati sizomwe mukuyang'ana, ndikumvetsetsa. Koma ndikuganiza kuti ndibwino ngati tiletsa tsiku lathu ngati sitili pamalo amodzi. ”

Mu maubale omwe angopangidwa kumene

Pali mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya maubale omwe angopangidwa kumene. Umu ndi momwe mungayendere ena mwa iwo.

Wina amene mwalumikizana naye kangapo

“Mwadzuka?” kwakhala, kuvomereza, amapezeka paliponse ndi "Ndi pakati pausiku. Ndikufuna kubwera kudzachita bang-lang-mwachisawawa, mwachidziwikire. ”

Pali njira zina zopangira zokopa ndi amuna kapena akazi anzanu. Mwachitsanzo:

• “Ndasangalala kwambiri kukudzudzulani sabata yatha. Ngati mungakhalepo nthawi ina ndikanakonda kubwereza. "
• "Ndikuganizira momwe mumawonekera m'mashiti anga ndipo ndingakonde kuti mudzakhale nanu usikuuno ngati mukufuna."
• “Mukufuna chiyani usikuuno? Ndikuganiza kuti tingakumane ndikusewera ndi makina anga atsopano pamodzi. ”

Wina yemwe wakhala 'ukumuwona' koma sunagonane naye

Kotero inu mwapita pa madeti ochepa. Mwina mwasalaza. Koma simunakhale ndi S-X-X.

Kusuntha kwanu: Osapanga imodzi! Osachepera musanalankhule za ngati nonse mukufuna kugonana.

"Simukufuna kungoganiza kuti adzafuna kuchita zogonana chifukwa choti mwakhala mukuyenda ndikupsompsonana," akutero McLaughlin. Chilungamo!

Njira zina zolerera:

• “Ndakhala ndikusangalala kukudziwani ndi kukupsopsonani. Ndimangofuna kupimitsa kutentha kuti ndiwone ngati mungachite bwino kuposa kumpsompsona. ”
• "Ndili wokondwa kwambiri kukudziwani ndipo, ngati mukumva chimodzimodzi, ndingakonde kupititsa patsogolo zinthu. Kodi ungamve bwanji ngati umapanga maliseche ndikuwona komwe zinthu zimapita? "

Mutha kugwiritsa ntchito izi ngati mwayi wolankhula za matenda opatsirana pogonana apano. Mwachitsanzo:

• "Ndakhala ndikusangalala kukhala nawe ndipo ndikufuna kugonana. Ngati ndi zomwe mumakondanso, ndingakonde tonsefe kuti tiwunikidwe za matenda opatsirana pogonana. "

Wina yemwe mwakhala mukukhala naye pachibwenzi ndikugonana naye ... koma chatsopano

Khofi wakuda kapena zonona. Kugonana m'mawa kapena usiku. Chiyambi cha maubwenzi chimadzazidwa ndi mitundu yonse yaziphuphu zophunzirira.

Momwe iwo amakonda kuyitanidwa kuti adzagone ndi chimodzi mwazinthu izi.

Pakadali pano, muli paubwenzi wabwino kuti mufunse mnzanu mafunso otsatirawa:

• Kodi mungakonde kuti ndiyambe kugonana ndi mawu ("Kodi mukufuna kubangula?") Kapena kudzera pazokhudza zolaula, monga kupsompsonana kapena kukumbatirana nthawi yayitali?
• Kodi mungakonde kufunsidwa mwachindunji (“Kodi muli mumkhalidwe wakufulumira?”) Kapena kudzera munjira zanzeru (mwa kunyengerera ndi kukopana)?

Mu maubale okhazikika

Chifukwa chake, mudutsa kudziwa gawo lanu ndikudziwa bwino momwe mnzanuyo amafunira nthawi yachigololo. Khalani nazo!

"Ndipo ngati simukudziwa, funsani - sizinachedwe," akutero McLaughlin.

Muubwenzi wanthawi yayitali

Mwinamwake mwakhala muukwati kwa zaka 20, zibwenzi zoyambirira kwa zaka 15, kapena muli zaka zitatu mutakhala limodzi.

Kaya chifukwa chake ndi chiyani, ngati mukumva ngati nthawi yachiwerewere iyambiranso momwemo ( * yawn *), McLaughlin amapereka malangizo otsatirawa kuti ayambitse kugonana m'njira zatsopano.

Pangani Inde, Ayi, Mwinanso lembani

Lembani inde / ayi / mwina mndandanda (monga iyi kapena iyi) madzulo amodzi. Kenako, nthawi ina mukadzakhala ndi malingaliro mutha kunena kuti, "Kodi mungamve bwanji pobwereza mndandandawu?"

Pitani ku shopu yogonana

Zowerengera pa intaneti, nawonso!

Sinthanitsani kuwonjezera zinthu zosangalatsa m'galimoto. Izi zikuthandizani kuti muzilankhula zogonana m'njira yatsopano, atero a McLaughlin - yomwe ndi gawo # 1 pakugonana (ndikugonana m'njira zatsopano).

Khulupirirani, mukafika kunyumba kapena phukusili litafika, ndiye kuti simukuyenera kuyambitsa zambiri. Nonse mudzakhala ofunitsitsa kuyesa zabwino zanu zatsopano.

Ndandanda yogonana

Nthawi yolumikiza kalendala ya Google ija ndikupeza usiku (kapena m'mawa!) Mukakhala ndi nthawi yoimirira (kapena kunama, kutsinzinira) tsiku logonana.

Gwiritsani ntchito nthawiyo kuti muzisisitana, onerani zolaula limodzi, pangani masewera olimbitsa thupi, kusamba limodzi, kapena kuseweretsa maliseche moyandikana.

Ngati palibe kugonana komwe kumachitika, palibe vuto. Cholinga ndikuti ayambe kugonana, osati kugonana.

Muzisinthana

Tiyerekeze kuti muli ndi tsiku la sabata la sabata. Yesani kusinthana pakati pa omwe amagonana ndi amuna kapena akazi anzawo - mwanjira imeneyi palibe amene akumva kuti ndi ntchito yawo, akutero McLaughlin.

Khalani bwino

Ndizovuta, koma ndi zoona!

Mukamadziyika nokha kunja uko, kumakhala kosavuta kufunsa zomwe mukufuna (okoma, okonda okoma) - ndipo kumakhala kosavuta kuti musadzitengere nokha ngati munthuyo alibe chidwi.

A Gabrielle Kassel ndi mlembi wa ku New York okhudzana ndi kugonana komanso thanzi komanso CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. Amakhala munthu wam'mawa, adayesa opitilira 200, ndikudya, kuledzera, ndikupaka makala - zonsezi mdzina la utolankhani. Munthawi yake yaulere, amapezeka kuti amawerenga mabuku azodzilankhulira ndi ma buku achikondi, kukanikiza benchi, kapena kuvina. Mutsatireni pa Instagram.