Kodi Ndinu Wotanganidwa Kwambiri Kapena Wolungama * Osungulumwa?

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Mu Okutobala 2019, ndinali ndi zomwe ndinganene moona mtima kuti chinali chimodzi mwamaphwando ankhanza kwambiri omwe ndidakumanapo nawo: Zinangochitika zokha, ndinali wosweka mtima kwambiri, ndipo ndinalibe mayankho pazovuta zilizonse zomwe ndimakumana nazo. Chinthu choyamba chimene ndinachita? Ndidasungitsa tchuthi, ndikugwira ntchito usana ndi usiku, ndikunyamula moyo wanga wamagulu mpaka pachimake. Kwa miyezi ingapo yotsatira, sindikuganiza kuti ndidamvako momwe kukhala panyumba ndekha kumamvekera. Kutanthauzira: Ndangopeza kumene tanganidwa zomwe sindimayenera kuzipeza.

Ndikudziwa kuti sindili ndekha: Mliri usanachitike, ziwerengero zidawonetsa kuti anthu aku America anali otanganidwa kuposa kale, mpaka 400% kuyambira 1950. M'malo mwake, kafukufuku waposachedwa ndi US Travel Association adapeza kuti opitilira theka la anthu aku America sali Kugwiritsa ntchito masiku awo onse atchuthi, ndikupeza masiku a tchuthi osagwiritsidwa ntchito okwana 768 miliyoni mu 2018. Koma ngakhale mutadziona kuti ndinu ogwira ntchito, mwina mumakhala otanganidwa ndi zinthu zina monga kuyenda, kusanja, kucheza kutuluka, komanso kuchita mosalekeza mpaka kukuwonongerani nthawi-zomwe sizinachitike pokhapokha zitakhala pa nthawiyo. Kumveka bwino? Mukuganiza choncho.

Chifukwa chake, pamene mliri wa COVID-19 unagunda komanso njuchi zotanganidwa monga inu ndi ine tinakakamizidwa kuti tichepetse kapena kuyimitsa kotheratu, panali kufunsa kwamodzi kwa bwanji tinali kuthamanga mozungulira ngati openga nthawi zonse. Tinali ~ kwenikweni ~ kuti otanganidwa, kapena kodi tinkangofuna kuthawa maganizo osamasuka?

Tsopano, kwa iwo omwe adakali ndi mwayi wogwira ntchito, kuwongolera ntchito kwakhala kovutirapo, ndipo ndi maola osangalatsa, tchuthi, ndi maukwati zitayimitsidwa, moyo wanu waubwenzi suliponso kuti ukupatseni mpumulo.

"Magawidwe apakati pa ntchito ndi seweroli akusoweka kwambiri tsopano ndi WFH ndipo akupitilizabe kumva nkhani," akufotokoza a psychotherapist a Matt Lundquist. "Anthu samasiyanitsa pakati pa ntchito ikatha ndikuyamba, ndipo chifukwa sapezanso chitonthozo kuchokera ku maubwenzi awo apamtima ndi moyo wawo waubwenzi, amadziponyera okha mu zizoloŵezi zina monga ntchito ndi masewera olimbitsa thupi." Mliri usanachitike, nthawi zambiri tinkagwiritsa ntchito moyo wathu komanso ndandanda kuti tipewe kusakhazikika, ndipo tsopano, zikuwoneka kuti tikudzikakamiza kukhala otanganidwa m'njira zina kuti tipirire.

Malinga ndi Cigna's 2020 Loneliness Index, kafukufuku wapadziko lonse omwe amafufuza za kusungulumwa ku US, 61 peresenti ya akuluakulu onse ogwira ntchito (omwe ali ndi ubale uliwonse) akuti akudzipatula, zomwe zidakwera kuchoka pa 12 peresenti mu 2018. kuphatikizidwa ndi mliri wa coronavirus kuchotsa zododometsa zanthawi zonse zikutanthauza kuti kudzipatula kumatha kukhala kolemetsa kwambiri.

"Ndizoonadi kuti intaneti yatipatsa njira yoti tizigwira ntchito nthawi zonse," akutero Rachel Wright, L.M.F.T. "Koma tikuwonanso kusintha kwakukulu momwe timaonera kukondana, pomwe anthu ambiri akuwopa ubale wawo kapena chifukwa choti alibe zomwe amagwira kapena kupeza zina zomwe amakonda kuchita kuti apewe zovuta izi. " Pazovuta zonse, chifukwa chake, kusungulumwa ndimomwe kumakhaliradi. Mwina mulibenso anthu ena ofunikira kapena ogwirizana kwambiri ndi achibale kapena anzanu omwe mukuwona kuti mungadalireko, koma kusungulumwa kungakhudze aliyense, ngakhale omwe ali ndi maubwenzi odzipereka. Mwina mnzanuyo ndi inu simunagwirizane kotero, ngakhale kuti muli pafupi ndi chiyanjano, mumamvabe ngati simukumvedwa kapena kuwonedwa.

Pre-mliri, kapena ngakhale mukudziwa, mwina simuli otanganidwa monga momwe mukuganizira, akutero Wright. M'malo mwake, mukungopanga mipata yoti muchite phokoso kuti musakhale ndi nthawi yoganizira za kusungulumwa kapena malingaliro aliwonse omwe akumva kukhala omasuka kukhala nawo kapena kuvomereza. Ndikosavuta kudzipatula ku mbali za moyo wanu zomwe mukuganiza kuti "mwalephera," kukhala ubale womwe wangotha ​​kumene, osakwezedwa pantchito, kukhala ndi ubwenzi wapoizoni, kapena nkhani zodzidalira komanso kudzidalira. Wright akuti: "Ndi njira yosavuta kunyalanyaza kudziona ngati wopanda pake, makamaka," akutero a Wright. "Komabe, zomwe anthu samamvetsetsa ndikudziponyera gawo limodzi m'moyo wanu sizisintha zomwe zikuchitika m'moyo wanu womwe mukupewa."

Ganizirani izi: Ngati mumada nkhawa kuti mukhala nokha chifukwa choti ndiinu nokha pagulu la anzanu, ndizosavuta kuti mudzipereke pantchito kuti musaganize. Kapenanso ngati muli ndi nkhawa yoti ubale wanu uli pamiyala ndipo kulumikizana ndizovuta, mutha kupitiliza Kukulitsa ndi anzanu kapena kupita ndi galu pano china yendani kuti mukagone kunyumba mochedwa kwambiri kuti musakambirane. “Anthu alipo, koma kulibe kwenikweni Apo,” akufotokoza motero Lundquist. “Akhoza kuganiza kuti kudziloŵetsa m’mbali zina za moyo wawo kudzawathandiza kuthetsa mavuto amene ali nawo ndi anzawo ndi anthu ena ofunika, koma khalidwe lopeŵa limeneli likudzetsadi mavuto ambiri kuposa mmene likukonza.” Ndikofunika kuzindikira kuti "kukhala wotanganidwa kumathandizanso kuti munthu azinyadira," akutero. "Ndizosavuta kuyang'anira zomwe anthu amakupangitsani kuti mukhulupirire zimakupangitsani kukhala opambana, m'malo mongoyang'ana ubale wanu wapamtima."

Pakadali pano, panthawi ya mliriwu, anthu ambiri amakhala limodzi ndi anthu ena ofunika ndipo zikuyambitsa ndewu zambiri kuposa momwe amayembekezera, kapena amakhala osungulumwa kuposa kale osatha kucheza ndi anzawo kapena kupita masiku a IRL. Ndiye mumatani? Mumagwira ntchito, kukonza makabati anu, kapena kuthera maola ambiri mukudya zakudya zapamwamba kukhitchini - kwenikweni, mumachita china chilichonse chomwe mungakwanitse kuti mukhale "otanganidwa."

Komabe, "maganizowa adzakula kwambiri pambuyo pake, ndipo mudzakhala otopa kwambiri m'maganizo ndi mwakuthupi, simudzadziwa momwe mungawathetsere," akutero Wright. Izi zitha kukhala zowopsa makamaka ngati ndinu munthu amene nthawi zonse mumapewa momwe mumamvera, koma kudziwa momwe mukumvera ndikofunikira kwambiri pochita izi, ndipo pakadali pano, muli ndi nthawi yokhala pansi ndikumva kusungulumwa zikomo kukakamizidwa kudzipatula, akutero Wright. Mutha kulemba, kusinkhasinkha, kukambirana momasuka, ndikukhala pansi ndikumverera kwanu mwanjira yomwe simukadatha (kapena moona,) kale.

Wright amalimbikitsanso kuchiritsa zikhulupiliro zoyambira mantha a ~ kumverera, ~, chabwino, malingaliro anu. Kumbuyo kwa kutengeka kulikonse kuli china chake mosazindikira. "Ngati mukumva kuti mudzakhala nokha nthawi zonse, khalani ndi kumverera koteroko - ndi chifukwa chakuti wina wakale anakuuzani nthawi ina? Kodi ndi chifukwa chakuti mukuganiza kuti maubwenzi anu onse atha molakwika ndipo ndi vuto lanu?" imamveketsa Wright. "Chikhulupiriro ndi lingaliro lomwe mumangokhalira kuganiza, ndipo chofunikira ndikukonzanso chikhulupiriro chimenecho ndikupeza njira zatsopano zothanirana ndi zomwe zikukuzungulirani." Izi zitha kumveka zolemetsa, koma phindu ndilofunika kuthana nalo. (Zogwirizana: Momwe Mungadzipangire Nokha Nthawi Yodzipatula [kapena Kunena Zowona Nthawi Iliyonse])

Angadziwe ndani? Mwinanso mutha kuzindikira, poyesa kuyendetsa malo omwe mumakhala mgodi, kuti anthu ena, ntchito, kapena zosangalatsa sizikutumikiraninso. "Ngati chibwenzicho sichili cha inu, kapena ngati mukuzindikira kuti kusungulumwa kwanu kumachokera pakungofunika kuti mukhale ndi nthawi yolingalira zaubwenzi wanu komanso mavuto omwe muli nawo muubwenzi, kodi simukufuna kudziwa pakadali pano?" Akutero Wright. "Chinthu chokhudza malingaliro ndi chakuti amawopsyeza kwambiri, koma mukakhala ndi nthawi yowavomereza ndi kuwayamikira, akhoza kuwulula zambiri za inu nokha."

"Tiyeneranso kudzimvera chisoni," akutero Lundquist. "Kukhala pansi ndikumverera kumatha kukhala kowopsa kwa anthu ena - monga kudzifunsa okha zomwe amafunikira tsikulo, kaya ndi kuthamanga paki, kucheza, kapena nthawi yokhayokha. Tapewa malingaliro athu kwanthawi yayitali kotero kuti kuthamanga pa autopilot, ndipo osavomereza momwe tikumvera - m'malo mwake, timachita zomwe timaganiza ayenera kuchita, osati zomwe ife ndikufuna kutero. "Poyang'ana kwambiri zakunja osati zamkati, mumakhala osungulumwa kuposa kale, ngakhale mutakhala nokha amene mumadziyembekezera kwambiri. Kupatula apo, palibe amene anakuwuzani kuti muyenera kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi masiku asanu ndi limodzi pa sabata - munatero - ndipo mumatha kusintha nkhaniyo nthawi iliyonse yomwe mukufuna.

Kugwiritsa ntchito zolimbitsa thupi, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, kuyenda, kapena kukambirana pamwamba pa kapamwamba (pre-COVID) ngati ndodo yopewera zinthu zina zomwe zingakubwerereni kungakhale kosavuta kubwereranso, ndipo njira yokhayo yopumira izi ndikuyenera kuzizindikira. "Kungakhale kowopsa kukumana ndi izi, koma zabwino zake ndizazikulu," akutero a Lundquist. "Zidzatsogolera ku moyo wosangalala kwambiri, wokhutitsidwa kumapeto kwa tsiku."

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