Zomwe 'Chikondi Ndi Chakhungu' Zitha Kukuphunzitsani Za Maubwenzi Anu IRL

Zamkati

• 1. Kulumikizana ndikofunika ... komanso kukopa kwakuthupi.
• 2. Kugonana ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri pa chibwenzi.
• 3. Kuwona mtima mtsogolo NDIPONSO NJIRA YONSE.
• 4. Timapanga nkhani zathu zambiri m'mayanjano.
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Tiyeni tikhale owona mtima, zowonetsa zenizeni pa TV zimatiphunzitsa chiyani ayi kuti tichite m'miyoyo yathu. Ndizosavuta kukhala pamapajamas omasuka mutavala chigoba, ndikuwona wina akupunthwa pokambirana ndi kuganiza, 'Sindingachite zimenezo'. Koma, zowonadi, TV yeniyeni ndiyabwino kwambiri, yopatsa thanzi m'miyoyo yathu. (Ndipo zingakupangitseni kumvera ena chisoni.)

Kodi amapangidwa? Inde. Kodi ndizodalirikabe? Inde. Kupanda kutero, sitikanaziwonera.

Timadziwona tokha, anzathu, abale, ndi anzathu mwa anthu kapena otchulidwa pa TV. Chifukwa chake, ngakhale, onetsetsani kuti "zinyalala TV" izi ndi "chisangalalo cholakwa" -kuwona kuti ndizabwino kwambiri, mutha kusiya bedi lanu mwanzeru pang'ono kuposa momwe mudaponyera pansi ngati mukufunadi.

Tiyeni tiwone kanema wawayilesi wodziwika kwambiri wa Netflix, Chikondi Ndi Chakhungu. Kanemayo amayamba ndi gulu la amuna ndi akazi osakwatiwa othamanga kwambiri mu "nyemba" - osawonana ndikumangomva mawu kuchokera mbali inayo, ndi cholinga chokhazikitsa kulumikizana kochokera pazokambirana, kukopa thupi ndi chemistry kunja equation (poyamba poyamba).

Kanemayo amafunsa funso kuti, "Kodi chikondi ndi chakhungu?" funsani otenga nawo mbali kuti achepetse omwe amalumikizana nawo kwambiri kuti asankhe munthu m'modzi, kukhala m'chikondi chosawoneka, ndiyeno apereke lingaliro lamuyaya kapena kuvomereza. Inde, pemphani ukwati ... kudzera kukhoma! Omwe ali pachibwenzi amatha kuwonana ndikuyanjana wina ndi mnzake.

Osanama: Nditamva izi, ndinapukusa maso anga. Zinkawoneka ngati Wokwatiwa Poyambirira amakumana Bachelor amakumana M'bale Wamkulu. Komabe, popeza ndine mnzake wa Bachelor franchise recap podcast komanso wothandizira ubale, anthu angapo adayamba kundilembera ndikufunsa za Chikondi Ndi Chakhungu.

"Mukuganiza bwanji zamachitidwe a Giannina kwa Damian?"

"Dikira, ukuganiza kuti Carlton adayendetsa bwanji izi?"

"Kodi ukuganiza kuti Jessica anali ndi chikondi chenicheni pa Mark?

Ndinachita chidwi. (Chiwonetsero chatsopano cha Netflix cha Gwyneth Paltrow chikuyambitsanso mphika.)

Chifukwa chake, mungakhale mukuganiza zomwe mungaphunzire kuchokera kuwonetsero ndi malingaliro owopsa ngati awa kuti mudziwe moyo wanu weniweni. Yankho? Pang'ono, kwenikweni. Nawa maphunziro anayi omwe aliyense angaphunzireko pa maubwenzi Chikondi ndi Akhungu:

1. Kulumikizana ndikofunika ... komanso kukopa kwakuthupi.

Kuyambira pachiyambi, Chikondi Ndi Chakhungu Mwamuna ndi mkazi wake, Kelly Chase ndi Kenny Barnes, anali ndi chidziwitso cholimba chamwala, koma atangolowa m'thupi, Kelly adanena kuti Kenny ankadzimva ngati mchimwene wake kuposa munthu wogonana naye. Izi zidamuyimitsa kuti asayang'ane zogonana zilizonse naye, zomwe ndizomvetsa chisoni.

Funso limodzi limene pulogalamuyo imafunsa mobwerezabwereza—“Kodi chikondi ndi chakhungu?”—ndilo lofunika kulilingalira. IRL, nafenso timadzifunsa funso ili, zimangomveka mosiyana pang'ono. "Chofunika kwambiri ndi chiyani: kulumikizana kwamalingaliro kapena kulumikizana kwakuthupi?" kapena "Kodi ndi bwino kukhala ndi kugwirizana maganizo ndiyeno kumanga thupi kapena kuyamba ndi kugwirizana thupi ndi kumanga gawo maganizo?"

Moyenera, pali onse; Mumakopeka ndi mawonekedwe akuthupi, umunthu wake, ndipo muli ndi zochitika zogonana zomwe mungamangirepo. Koma, bwanji ngati chimodzi mwazinthuzi chikusowa? Kodi mungatani ngati mumakondadi umunthu wa munthu wina, koma mulibe * spark *? (Zokhudzana: 5 Zinthu Zomwe Aliyense Ayenera Kudziwa Zokhudza Kugonana ndi Chibwenzi, Malinga ndi Relationship Therapist)

Ngakhale, simuyenera kukakamizidwa kuchita chilichonse chomwe simukufuna kuchita kapena chomwe sichimamasuka, monga wothandizira kugonana, ndingalimbikitse kwambiri kufufuza momwe kugwirizana kwa thupi / kugonana kungamveke musanasankhe kuti sichoncho. zotheka. Kwa ena, izi zitha kutanthauza kuti agonane kuti awone momwe zimamvekera pathupi ndi m'maganizo ndi kwa ena, izi zitha kutanthauza kungoyang'ana kukondana pokambirana kapena kukhudza. Kodi munganene motsimikiza bwanji kuti palibe kulumikizana kwakuthupi pomwe kulibe mwayi wopatsidwa kuti ukhalepo?

2. Kugonana ndi gawo lofunika kwambiri pa chibwenzi.

Kusiyana pakati pa awiri omwe ali ndi chemistry yogonana nthawi yomweyo ndi omwe alibe amawonetsedwa mwangwiro Chikondi Ndi Chakhungu Mabanja a Matt Barnett (aka Barnett) ndi Amber Pike motsutsana ndi Kelly ndi Kenny omwe atchulidwa kale.

Pafupifupi nthawi yomweyo, a Barnett ndi Amber amakopana, amalephera kuthana. Izi, ndithudi, zimatha kufika pamlingo wina pamene nthawi ikupita, koma zimapereka maziko a moyo wogonana womwe ungakhale wokhalitsa, wosangalatsa, komanso wosangalatsa (malinga ngati pali kulankhulana kwabwino).

Anthu ena amakhulupirira kuti ngati kulumikizana kwamalingaliro kulipo, kugonana kumangochitika kuchokera pamenepo. Izi sizowona. Anthu ena alidi osagonana.

Koma, musachite mantha! Zovuta zambiri zaubwenzi zitha kuthetsedwa ndi kulumikizana kwabwino komanso mwina kuthandizidwa ndi akatswiri ogonana. Ngakhale kuti nthawi zina mumatha kukhala osagwirizana ndi umuna wa mnzanu, nthawi zambiri zimakhala zambiri zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zofuna zanu (kapena kusowa) zikhale zovuta.

Ganizirani: kusiyana kwa libido, kusalankhulana bwino, zokonda ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana pazomwe zimapangitsa moyo wogonana "wabwino". Njira yabwino yothanirana ndi zinthu zonsezi ndi kuphunzira momwe mungalankhulire bwino ndikuphunzira thupi lanu ndi zokhumba zanu. Ndizovuta kwambiri kuti mulankhule zomwe mukufuna komanso zomwe mumakonda pomwe simukudziwa yankho lanu.

Kugonana sizinthu zonse, koma ndi gawo lalikulu la ubale uliwonse wachikondi. Mutha kukondana kwambiri ndi munthu wina, kuchita zogonana mopanda pake ndikuyesetsa kuti izi zikhale zopatsa chidwi. Zimangofunika kuyesetsa, mbali zonse za anthu — ndikudzipereka kuti mugwire ntchito limodzi.

3. Kuwona mtima mtsogolo NDIPONSO NJIRA YONSE.

Chikondi Ndi Chakhungu Banja Carlton Morton ndi Diamond Jack adazigunda nthawi yomweyo. Carlton adafunsa Diamon ali mkati mwa nyerere, ndipo adavomera, koma atangofika kutchuthi chawo ku "dziko lenileni", Cartlon adavomera kwa bwenzi lake latsopanolo kuti ali ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha - bomba lomwe latsika pambuyo pempho, chabwino?

Carlton akupitiliza kufotokoza kuti adakanidwa ndi amayi m'mbuyomu atagawana kuti adagona nawo ndipo amakopeka ndi amuna ndi akazi. Tsoka ilo, pomwe amalemba izi, Diamond samazisamalira bwino. Kuyambira pamenepo adalankhulanso zomwe akanachita mosiyana, kuwauza Anthu, "Ndikanasintha njira yake. Ndinali kuyesera kuti ndimvetse bwino, koma ndinali ndi mafunso chifukwa sindinakhalepo ndi mwamuna wogonana ndi amuna awiri."

Phunziro apa ndikuti muyike makhadi anu onse patebulo. Palibe cholakwika chilichonse ndi Carlton kukhala bisexual. Cholakwika ndikubisa chidziwitso chofunikira chokhudza inu nokha ndikuganiza zokhala ndi munthu wina popanda kuwapatsa mwayi wodziwa kwathunthu.

Mdziko lenileni, izi zitha kukhala kusiyanitsa zofunikira zokhudzana ndi kugonana kwanu, mayendedwe andale, ngongole, mavuto am'banja, zikhumbo zogonana kapena makinki ... zilibe kanthu kuti mutuwo ndi uti, ingokhulupirirani-nthawi.

Kaya mumakumana ndi nyemba pa TV, pa bar, kapena pa pulogalamu ya zibwenzi, kuwona mtima nthawi zonse ndikoyenera. Izi sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kuuza mnzanuyo zonse zokhudza inuyo m’mphindi 30 zoyambirira, koma zikutanthauza kuti muyenera kukhala woona mtima kuti ndinu ndani komanso zimene mukufuna posakhalitsa. Kodi simungakonde kupeza tsiku lanu lachitatu m'malo mwa lachitatu chaka kuti simukugwirizana monga momwe mumaganizira?

4. Timapanga nkhani zathu zambiri m'mayanjano.

Chikondi ndi Akhungua Jessica Batten ndi a Mark Anthony Cuevas adagwerana mwachangu, ngakhale Jessica adakondanso Barnett, yemwe adathera ndi Amber. Imodzi mwamitu yayikulu yokhudza ubale wa Jessica ndi Mark inali kusiyana kwa zaka 10 zomwe Jessica samatha kuwona.

Chinali chitsanzo cha buku lopanga vuto muubwenzi ndikuwadzudzula anthu ena. Zinali zoonekeratu kuti Jessica sanasangalale ndi mfundo yakuti panali zaka khumi pakati pa masiku awo obadwa. Komabe, m'malo mongonena zambiri ndikukambirana ndi Mark, adapitilizabe kunena momwe ena angawone ubale wawo m'malo mokhala ndi nkhawa zawo. Izi ndizomwe (chenjezo lowononga!) Pamapeto pake zidatsogolera kuwonongeka kwa ubale wawo ... paguwa, osachepera.

Ngati mukuwona wina wamng'ono, kambiranani za kusiyana kwa zaka pamodzi. Nenani momwe mpatawo ungakhudzire tsogolo lanu komanso tsogolo lanu. Lankhulani za nkhawa zomwe anthu ena angakhale nazo potengera malingaliro olakwika a anthu komanso momwe mungawathetsere limodzi.

Titha kuyambitsa zovuta zomwe sizilipo tikakhala osamasuka kapena osatsimikiza kuti tikufuna kukhala pachibwenzi. Jessica anali kugwiritsa ntchito kusiyana kwa msinkhuwu ngati umboni kuti chibwenzi chawo sichingagwire ntchito, m'malo mongonena kuti mwina sanamupeze wokongola, sanasangalale, kapena sanali wokonzeka kuchita.

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