Kodi Anthu Osagwiritsa Ntchito Khansa ya M'mawere Amapeza Kuti Thandizo?

Q: Sindine wosankha. Ndimagwiritsa ntchito maina awo ndipo ndimadziona ngati transmasculine, ngakhale ndilibe chidwi ndi mahomoni kapena opaleshoni. Chabwino, ndili ndi mwayi, ndikhoza kumaliza opaleshoni yapamwamba, chifukwa ndili ndi khansa ya m'mawere.

Chidziwitsochi chakhala chachilendo kwambiri. Chilichonse chokhudzana ndi izi, kuyambira pachithandizo chokha mpaka magulu othandizira ku malo ogulitsira mphatso kuchipatala, mwachidziwikire chimapangidwira azimayi a cis, makamaka owongoka komanso achikazi.

Ndili ndi anthu othandizira m'moyo wanga, koma ndimadzifunsa ngati ndiyenera kulumikizana ndi opulumuka ena, inenso. Ngakhale magulu othandizira omwe ndalimbikitsidwa kupita kwa onse akuwoneka kuti ali ndi anthu abwino, ndikudandaula kuti ndi chifukwa choti amandiwona ngati mkazi. (Palinso gulu lothandizira amuna omwe ali ndi khansa ya m'mawere, koma inenso sindine munthu amene ali ndi khansa ya m'mawere.)

Moona mtima, anthu omwe ali m'magulu anga othandizira pa intaneti komanso osagwirizana nawo pa Facebook, komanso anthu wamba omwe ndimawadziwa kwanuko, akhala othandiza kwambiri ndikamachita izi, ngakhale palibe amene adakhalapo ndi khansa ya m'mawere. Kodi pali chilichonse chomwe ndingachite kuti ndimve kuthandizidwa?

Aliyense amangokhalira kukambirana za momwe chinthu chodziwikiratu chokhala ndi khansa ya m'mawere ndi gulu la opulumuka, koma sizimangokhala ngati chomwe ndiyenera kukhala nacho.

A: Hei pamenepo. Ndikufuna poyamba ndizitsimikizira momwe izi ziliri zovuta komanso zopanda chilungamo. Kudzinenera kuti ndinu munthu wosachita kubadwa nthawi zonse kumakhala ntchito yovuta. Ndizovuta kwambiri (komanso zopanda chilungamo) mukamachita izi mukudwala khansa!

Nditha kupitilizabe kunena zakugonana komanso kufunikira kwa jenda komwe kumapangidwa ndikulimbikitsa khansa ya m'mawere ndikuthandizira kwazaka zambiri, koma palibe zomwe zimakuthandizani pompano. Ndikungofuna kuvomereza kuti ilipo, ndipo akuyamba kukhala opulumuka ochulukirapo, opulumuka nawo, othandizira, ofufuza, ndi othandizira zamankhwala omwe akudziwa izi ndikubwerera m'mbuyo.

Ndikuganiza kuti pali zidutswa ziwiri za funso lanu, ndipo ndizosiyana: imodzi, momwe mungayendetsere chithandizo ngati munthu wosagwiritsa ntchito bayinare; ndi ziwiri, momwe mungapezere chithandizo ngati wopulumuka wosagwiranso ntchito.

Tiyeni tikambirane funso loyamba. Mudatchula anthu ambiri othandizira pamoyo wanu. Izi ndizofunikiradi ndipo zimathandiza pakubwera kwa chithandizo chamankhwala. Kodi pali aliyense amene amakuperekezani kumalo omwe mumalandira? Ngati sichoncho, kodi mungapeze anzawo kapena abwenzi kuti abwere nanu? Afunseni kuti akuyankhireni ndikukuthandizani mukamakhazikitsa malire ndi omwe amakupatsani mwayi.

Lembani mndandanda wazomwe omwe akukuthandizani amafunika kudziwa kuti akutumizireni moyenera. Izi zitha kuphatikizira dzina lomwe mumadutsa, matchulidwe anu, jenda yanu, mawu omwe mumagwiritsa ntchito ziwalo zilizonse za thupi lanu zomwe zingayambitse dysphoria, momwe mungafunire kutchulidwira kupatula dzina lanu ndi matchulidwe (mwachitsanzo, munthu, munthu, wodwala , etc.), ndi china chilichonse chomwe chingakuthandizeni kumva kuti mukutsimikizika komanso kulemekezedwa.

Palibe chifukwa chomwe dokotala, kukudziwitsani kwa wothandizira wawo, sanganene china chonga ichi, "Ili ndi [dzina lanu], munthu wazaka 30 wokhala ndi khansa yowopsa kumanzere kumanzere kwa chifuwa chake."

Mukakhala ndi mndandanda wanu, uuzeni aliyense wolandila, anamwino, ma PCAs, madotolo, kapena ena ogwira nawo ntchito omwe mumacheza nawo. Olandira ndi anamwino amatha kuwonjezera manotsi pa tchati chanu chamankhwala kuti awonetsetse kuti omwe akukuthandizani akuwona ndikugwiritsa ntchito dzina lanu ndi matchulidwe anu.

Anthu anu othandizira azitha kutsata ndikuwongolera aliyense amene amakunamizirani kapena mwaphonya memoyo.

Zachidziwikire, si aliyense amene ali womasuka kukhazikitsa malire amtunduwu ndi othandizira azaumoyo, makamaka mukamalimbana ndi matenda owopsa. Ngati simukuvomereza, ndizomveka. Ndipo sizimakupangitsani kukhala vuto lanu kuti mukukunamiziridwa kapena kutchulidwa m'njira zomwe sizikukuthandizani.

Siudindo wanu kuphunzitsa akatswiri azachipatala. Ndi ntchito yawo kufunsa. Ngati satero, ndipo mutha kuwongolera, ikhoza kukhala njira yothandiza komanso yolimbikitsa kwa inu. Koma ngati simutero, yesetsani kudziimba mlandu. Mukungoyesera kuti mudutse izi momwe mungathere.

Zomwe zimandibweretsa ku gawo lachiwiri lafunso lanu: kufunafuna chithandizo ngati wopulumuka wosagwiritsa ntchito bayinare.

Mudanenapo anthu osunthika omwe simukuwadziwa omwe mumawadziwa kwanuko komanso pa intaneti ali othandizira, koma siopulumuka (kapena, siomwe adapulumuka khansa yomweyi yomwe muli nayo). Mukufuna chithandizo chamtundu wanji chomwe mungafune kuchokera kwa omwe apulumuka khansa ya m'mawere makamaka?

Ndimangofunsa chifukwa, ngakhale magulu othandizira khansa atha kukhala othandiza kwenikweni, sali olondola kapena ofunikira kwa aliyense. Ndikuganiza kuti ambiri a ife timadzimva kuti timayenera kupita ku gulu lothandizira panthawi yachipatala chifukwa ndi "chinthu choyenera kuchita". Koma ndizotheka kuti zosowa zakumacheza ndi malingaliro omwe muli nawo zikukumana kale ndi anzanu, abwenzi anu, ndi magulu opitilira / osagwirizana ndi zina.

Popeza mwapeza kuti anthuwa ndi othandiza kwambiri kuposa omwe adapulumuka khansa omwe mwakumana nawo, mwina kulibe dzenje lothandizidwa ndi khansa mmoyo wanu.

Ndipo ngati ndi choncho, ndizomveka. Ndikulandila chithandizo, nthawi zambiri ndimadabwitsidwa ndi kuchuluka kwa zomwe ndimafanana ndi anthu omwe adakumana ndi mitundu yonse yazinthu zosagwirizana ndi khansa: zopweteka, mimba, kutaya wokondedwa, matenda osawoneka, ADHD, autism, matenda a Lyme, lupus, fibromyalgia, kukhumudwa kwakukulu, kusintha kwa msambo, komanso dysphoria ya jenda komanso kuchitidwa opaleshoni yovomereza kuti ndi amuna kapena akazi.

Chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe zikukupweteketsani mtima kwambiri pakadali pano ndi cissexism, ndipo ndichidziwitso chomwe aliyense pagulu lililonse azikambirana. Nzosadabwitsa kuti mumamva kuthandizidwa kumeneko.

Ngati mukufuna kupeza zina mwazomwe zingachitike kwa omwe apulumuka ndi khansa osagwiritsa ntchito khansa, komabe, ndikulimbikitsani kuti muwone National LGBT Cancer Network.

Ndikulakalaka pakadakhala zambiri kunja kwa inu. Ndikukhulupirira kuti mutha kudzipezera nokha malo omwe mukufuna.

Ngakhale zitakhala bwanji, ndikukuwonani.

Monga momwe amuna kapena akazi anu samatsimikizidwira ndi ziwalo zamthupi zomwe mudabadwira, sizikudziwika kuti ndi khansa iti yomwe imachitika.

Anu mokhazikika,

Miri

Miri Mogilevsky ndi wolemba, mphunzitsi, komanso wothandizira ku Columbus, Ohio. Ali ndi BA mu psychology kuchokera ku Northwestern University komanso a master in social work kuchokera ku University University. Anapezeka kuti ali ndi khansa ya m'mawere ya 2a mu Okutobala 2017 ndipo adamaliza chithandizo mchaka cha 2018. Miri ali ndi ma wigs pafupifupi 25 kuyambira masiku awo a chemo ndipo amasangalala kuwatumizira mwanzeru. Kuphatikiza pa khansa, amalembanso za thanzi lam'mutu, kudziwika kwawo, kugonana kotetezeka komanso chilolezo, komanso dimba.