Chisankho Chimene Sichiri Pa Radar Yanu: Njira 11 Zolumikizaniranadi Chaka chino

Zamkati

• Lembani Pansi
• Tsatirani Kudutsa
• Nenani Mwaulemu
• Siyani Zokhumudwitsa
• Kuwulutsa Zinthu
• Adadabwitsa Munthu
• Perekani Mnzanu pa Chakudya Chamadzulo
• Khalani membala
• Gawani Kumwetulira
• Gwiritsani Ntchito Zamakono Kuti Mupindule
• Tsitsimutsani Chikondi
• Onaninso za

Muli ndi mazana olumikizirana pa LinkedIn komanso anzanu ambiri pa Facebook. Mumakonda zithunzi zawo pa Instagram ndipo mumatumiza ma selfies a Snapchat pafupipafupi. Koma kodi ndi liti pamene munalankhulana naye pamasom’pamaso? Mukuganiza choncho. Ndipo kusowa kwa ubale weniweni kumeneko kungakhale kovulaza kwambiri kuposa momwe mukuganizira.

"Ngakhale kuti kuyankhulana pakompyuta ndi dalitso lalikulu la m'badwo wathu, kwasokonezanso mphamvu ya kugwirizana kwa anthu pochotsa kukhudzidwa kwaumwini ndi kukhudzidwa kwapamtima," akutero Edward Hallowell, MD, woyambitsa Hallowell Centers ndi wolemba mabuku. Lumikizani: Maubwenzi Ofunika 12 Omwe Amatsegula Mtima Wanu, Kutalikitsa Moyo Wanu, ndi Kuzama Moyo Wanu. Kulumikizidwa kumeneku kwatengera thanzi lathu komanso thanzi lathu. Kukhala ndi maubwenzi ofooka ndi ofanana ndi kusuta ndudu za 15 patsiku, zovulaza kuposa kukhala osagwira ntchito, komanso kuopsa kawiri kuposa kunenepa kwambiri, malinga ndi kafukufuku wa Brigham Young University. Anthu omwe samalumikizana bwino amakhalanso ndi chiopsezo chachikulu cha 50% chaimfa atatha zaka zisanu ndi ziwiri ndi theka. Kupitilira pamavuto akuluwa, iwo omwe ali ndi kuchezerana kocheperako amafotokozera zakumverera kopanda chiyembekezo komwe kumakhudza miyoyo yawo. "Mukudutsabe tsikuli, koma mukuganiza, 'Kodi ndi izi zonse zomwe ziripo?'" Hallowell akuti.

Ngakhale ndandanda yanu yotanganidwa, muli ndi nthawi yolimbikitsa maubwenzi anu ndikulemeretsa moyo wanu ponseponse-ndipo nthawi yabwino iti kuposa Chaka Chatsopano? "Dziperekezeni kulimbikitsa kulumikizana kwamalingaliro ndikulankhulana maso ndi maso," akutero Hallowell. Ndi njira zosavuta izi, simudzangopeza malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, mungakhale osangalala pang'ono.

Lembani Pansi

Malingaliro

Pali anthu ambiri omwe mungathe kulumikizana nawo, kotero yambani ndi atatu, a Hallowell akulangizani, monga mnzanu wa ku koleji, msuweni wanu, ndi wogwira naye ntchito. Lembani mayina awo ndikulemba zikumbutso pakalendala yanu kuti muwaimbire kapena kuwatumizira imelo mwezi uliwonse kapena apo. [Twitani nsonga iyi!]

Tsatirani Kudutsa

Malingaliro

Ambiri aife timafulumira kunena kuti, "Tiyeni tidye nkhomaliro" kapena "Tiyenera kumwa zakumwa" tikawona mnzathu wakale kapena womudziwa, komabe sitimadzipereka kwenikweni pamadyerero amenewo. Chaka chino, ikani nthawi ndi malo oti mudzapeze, ndipo tsatirani izi.

Nenani Mwaulemu

Malingaliro

Inde, simungadye "nkhomaliro" ndi munthu aliyense yemwe mumamudziwapo kapena aliyense amene mumakumana naye. "Ndikofunikira kuika patsogolo maubwenzi anu," akutero katswiri wovomerezeka Julie de Azevedo Hanks, mkulu wa Wasatch Family Therapy komanso wolemba mabuku. Chithandizo Chotentha: Buku Lopulumutsira Amtima Kwa Akazi Ovutika. Ganizirani za kulumikizana kwanu ngati mabwalo okhazikika, ndi inu pakati, kenako maubwenzi anu apamtima, achibale, abwenzi, anzanu apamtima, ndi zina zotero. Gwiritsani ntchito nthawi ndi mphamvu zambiri kuyambira pakatikati, ndikuziwonetsera kunja. Ndiye mukawona wina ali pabwalo lakunja, musatero lonjezani kukumana. "Apa ndipomwe makanema ochezera komanso kulumikizana kwamagetsi kumathandiza," akutero Hanks. Auzeni kuti ndizabwino kuwawona, ndipo gwiritsani ntchito Facebook kapena Twitter kuti muzitha kulumikizana. [Twitani nsonga iyi!]

Siyani Zokhumudwitsa

Malingaliro

Tonse tili ndi munthu m'modzi yemwe timamva kuti watilakwira m'mbuyomu-pangani 2014 kukhala chaka chomwe mumakhululukira mmodzi wa iwo. "Kukhululuka ndi mphatso yomwe umadzipatsa wekha, chifukwa imakumasula ku poizoni wa mkwiyo wosatha ndi mkwiyo," atero a Hallowell, omwe adalemba bukuli Limbani Kukhululuka. Sizitanthauza kuti mumayiwala-kapena ngakhale kuvomereza-zomwe zachitika, akuwonjezera, mukungosiya mphamvu zoyipa kuti mupindule nazo. Ngati mukufuna kupitiriza kukhala ndiubwenzi ndi munthuyu, ndibwino kumukhululukira pamasom'pamaso, koma pazovuta, winayo safunika kuti mumukhululukire m'malingaliro anu, ndikupitilira.

Kuwulutsa Zinthu

Malingaliro

Monga ambiri a ife timadziwira tokha, ndizofala kukhala ndi kusamvana pakati pa abwenzi apamtima ndi abale. "Kugwirizana kumabweretsa mikangano, koma kukangana ndikwachilendo - momwe mumachitira ndi zomwe zimafunikira," akutero Hallowell. Zinthu zazikulu monga kuzunzidwa, kuledzera, kapena vuto lina pambali, amalangiza kubweretsa nkhani yanu poyera kuti mulimbitse ubale wanu.

Ngati mwakhala mukumva zovuta ndi msuweni wanu yemwe wanena zopanda pake pa tebulo lakuthokoza kapena mnzanu wapamtima yemwe amalankhula kumbuyo kwanu, fikani ndikunena kuti mwawasowa ndipo mungakonde kukambirana za izi. Kukumana pamasom'pamaso ndikwabwino kuti muthe kupeza zonena, Hanks akuti, koma ngati sizingatheke, yesani kuyimba foni kapena Skype, ndiye imelo, kenako lemberani.

Yandikirani nkhani yogwira mtima ngati masewera a tennis, Hanks akulangiza kuti: "Sungani mpira kumbali yanu ya bwalo. Nenani, 'Ndinamva kupweteka kuti pamene simunafike pamene amayi anga anamwalira chaka chatha. Ndikudziwa kuti munali ndi zambiri. zikuyenda m'moyo wanu womwe, komabe ndikumva chisoni kuti sindinamvepo za inu. gawani zopweteketsa mtima, chisoni, mantha, kusungulumwa, Hanks akufotokoza. Ngati sakufuna kulankhula, siyani chitseko chotseguka ponena kuti mudzakhala komweko ngati angadzakonzekere kulumikizanso, kapena funsani ngati mungayendere nawo miyezi ingapo.

Adadabwitsa Munthu

Malingaliro

Ngati ubale ukufunika TLC yaying'ono koma osati yapamtima-pamtima, sonyezani chikhumbo chanu cholumikizananso pokuwonetsani kuti mumasamala. Yesetsani pang'ono pang'ono, mwamwayi, a Hallowell amalimbikitsa. Tumizani china chake chosayembekezereka-mtanga wa zipatso, buku losangalatsa, kapena khadi yolimbikitsa kuti mumuseke-kuthandiza kuti athane ndi madzi.

"Dziwani kuti ngakhale anthu atakhala ndi zotani, mutha kusankha kukhala mwana wamkazi, mlongo, bwenzi, kapena wantchito yemwe inu mukufuna kukhala, "Hanks akuti. Chifukwa chake ngati bwana wanu sakakufunirani tsiku lobadwa labwino, perekani khadi patebulo lawo. Ngati simumva kuchokera kwa azakhali anu Sally pafupipafupi, konzekerani kudzacheza modzidzimutsa. Kapena mungotumiza zosavuta lemberani anzanu ndi anzanu akutali kuti, "Ndikuganiza za inu. Tikukhulupirira muli ndi sabata yabwino! "

Perekani Mnzanu pa Chakudya Chamadzulo

Malingaliro

Malo ambiri ogwirira ntchito sanadulidwe masiku ano, ndipo malo okhala opanikizika atha kubweretsa zovuta zamagulu ndi zamaganizidwe. Chinthu chimodzi chomwe chingathandize ndi kukhala ndi bwenzi kuofesi-ngati muli ndi mnzanu wa kuntchito yemwe mumamukonda kwambiri, mudzasangalala ndi ntchito yanu, akufotokoza Hallowell. Perekani kugula khofi wa cubemate kapena nkhomaliro, ndikumudziwa bwino, kapena kutsatira chitsanzo cha Hanks ndikuyamba misonkhano ya antchito ndi nkhani zazing'ono zokhudza moyo wa aliyense. "Ndikofunikira kuzindikira ndikuyamikira antchito anzanu ndi antchito anu monga anthu, osati opanga okha muofesi," akutero Hanks. "Anthu amachita ntchito zabwino ndipo amakhala achimwemwe akamva kuti awoneka, amva, komanso kuyamikiridwa."

Khalani membala

Malingaliro

Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti kukhala mgulu kapena bungwe kumalimbikitsa kukondwerera komanso kukhala ndi cholinga m'moyo, atero a Hallowell. Lowani nawo chilichonse-ukhoza kukhala mpingo, gulu loyendetsa, mabungwe othandizira, kapena gulu la anthu omwe amakumana kamodzi pamwezi. Malipiro a bonasi ngati mungatenge nawo gawo pazomwe mumakonda. "Mudzakhala ogwirizana kwambiri ndi anthu ena ndikumalankhula ndikuwadziwa bwino ngati zili zomwe mungakonde," akutero Hanks.

Gawani Kumwetulira

Malingaliro

Ngakhale zochitika zazing'ono kwambiri zimatha kukulitsa kulumikizana kwanu, atero a Hallowell. Nyetulirani kwa abambo omwe mumadutsa mumsewu wamkaka wa golosale, ndikusiya foni yanu m'chikwama chanu ndikuuza mlendo yemwe ali mu elevator. Hallowell akuti: "Nthawi zazing'ono izi zimakupatsani chilimbikitso chokhala ndi moyo wabwino chomwe chingakupangitseni kukhala osangalala kukhala amoyo-komanso kudzimva kuti muli ndi moyo," akutero. Kuyanjana kwina kwa tsiku ndi tsiku komwe kungapangitse kusiyana: Imani m'malo ogulitsira khofi wamba kapena malo odyera, ndipo dziwani eni ake ndi mayina. Kukambirana kwaubwenzi kwa mphindi zitatuzi kumatha kukukhudzani tsiku lonse. Hallowell akuti: "Tikalumikizana ndi ena m'moyo wathu watsiku ndi tsiku, timakhala okhudzidwa komanso otanganidwa kuposa momwe timakhalira paulendo woyendetsa basi."

Gwiritsani Ntchito Zamakono Kuti Mupindule

Malingaliro

Zolinga zamankhwala zitha kukhala chida chothandizira kuti muzilumikizana ndi anthu onse omwe mwakumana nawo pazaka zambiri kapena simukuwawona pafupipafupi-ndipo zimatenga nthawi yaying'ono komanso khama. "Ndimakonda ukadaulo chifukwa umakupatsani mwayi wotumiza imelo kapena kuyankha pa chithunzi nthawi yomweyo, kuti wina adziwe kuti mukuwaganizira," akutero Hanks. Uzani mnzanu kuti akuwoneka bwino mu positi yake yatsopano ya Instagram, tumizani ecard yoseketsa, kapena imelo yolumikizana ndi nkhani yomwe inakukumbutsani za wophunzira wakale.

Tsitsimutsani Chikondi

Malingaliro

Ngati mwakhala kuti mukumva kutali ndi amuna kapena akazi anu posachedwa, mophweka zindikirani iye, Hallowell akutero. Kenako adziwitseni ndi "Tayi yabwino;" "Ndimakonda momwe mumandipsopsona;" kapena "Mukuwoneka kuti mwatsika pang'ono. Chilichonse m'malingaliro mwanu?" Kulankhulana ndikofunikira, kotero musawope kufunsa zomwe mukufuna zomwe simukulandira, komanso zomwe akufuna kwa inu. Kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi pamodzi ngati banja ndikofunikanso kulimbitsa ubale. "Itha kukhala mphindi zitatu pakumwa khofi, maola atatu pakudya ndi kanema, kapena masiku atatu paulendo wamlungu ndi mlungu, koma palibe choloweza m'malo mwa nthawi yokhala pamodzi," akutero Hallowell.

Onaninso za