Kukhumudwa Kwazogonana Ndi Kwachilendo - Nayi Momwe Mungachitire

Zamkati

• Ndi chiyani kwenikweni?
• Ndi zachilendo
• Momwe mungazindikire (ngati sizikudziwika kale)
• Chifukwa chiyani zimachitika
• Nthawi zina ndi thupi lako
• Nthawi zina ndi ubongo wanu
• Ndipo nthawi zina kumakhala kusinthasintha kwanu - kapena kusowa kwake
• Momwe mumamvera ndi izi zimatsimikizira zomwe zidzachitike
• Ngati zogonana sizili patebulo
• Mvetsetsani chifukwa chake kugonana kwayekha sikuli patebulo
• Mverani nyimbo zomwe zimakulamulirani
• Chitani masewera olimbitsa thupi
• Wodzipereka
• Pezani wina woti mumukumbatire
• Samalani ntchito zina zathupi
• Kumbukirani kuti malingaliro onse ndi akanthawi
• Ngati ili patebulo, ndipo pano muli nokha
• Tsikani nanu
• Sanachite? Yesani kudzipanga nokha chikondi
• Khalani ndi malo amodzi usiku
• Ganizirani za anzanu omwe ali ndi zopindulitsa
• Yesani kukhala pachibwenzi
• Ganyu wogwirira ntchito zogonana
• Ngati ili patebulo, ndipo muli pachibwenzi
• Ngati simunayesepo, yambitsani kugonana
• Kulankhulana, kulankhulana, kulankhulana
• Chotsani zochitika zanu zogonana patebulo
• Ngati mukuvutikabe kuti mupezenso chidwi
• Mfundo yofunika

Timaphatikizapo zinthu zomwe timaganiza kuti ndizothandiza kwa owerenga athu. Ngati mutagula maulalo omwe ali patsamba lino, titha kupeza ndalama zochepa. Nayi njira yathu.

Kodi muli ndi kuyabwa komwe simungathe kuwoneka ngati mukukula kosiyanasiyana kogonana? Pitani pansi kuti mupeze malangizo ochokera kwa akatswiri azakugonana momwe mungachitire izi, kaya kugonana kuli patebulo kapena ayi!

Ndi chiyani kwenikweni?

Funsani aliyense amene adakhalapo wokhumudwitsidwa ndikugonana ndipo adzakuwuzani: Sh * t ndi yeniyeni! Koma sichinthu chomwe mudzawona chikufotokozedwa m'buku lazachipatala.

Katswiri wazakugonana Tami Rose, mwini wa Romantic Adventures, malo ogulitsira achikulire ku Jackson, Mississippi, akupereka tanthauzo ili:

"Kukhumudwa ndimachitidwe achilengedwe ngati pali kusamvana pakati pazomwe mukufuna (kapena zosowa) zogonana ndi zomwe mukukumana nazo panopo."

Amawonekera mosiyana mwa aliyense. Kwa anthu ena, zitha kuwoneka ngati mkwiyo wamba kapena kusakhazikika, kwa ena, kukhumudwa kapena kuda nkhawa. Ndipo kwa ena, monga kusasamala.

Pali zifukwa zosiyana siyana za bajillion, koma zina mwazikuluzikulu ndi izi:

• kusakhala ndi chidwi
• kusowa kwa chiwonongeko, kusowa kwa mphamvu, kapena kusowa kwa ziphuphu zambiri
• manyazi pa mtundu wa kugonana komwe mukukhala nako, munakhalako, kapena mukufuna kukhala nako
• osakhala ndi mtundu wa kugonana womwe mukufuna kukhala nawo

"Nthawi zina zomwe anthu amaganiza kuti kukhumudwa pa nkhani zakugonana kumangokhala kusakhutira ndi zomwe zikuchitika m'miyoyo yawo," akutero Dr.

"Nthawi zina wina amamva chifukwa choti sakukumana ndi mavuto kuntchito, ndipo nthawi zina chifukwa choti sakulumikizana ndi mnzake."

Ndi zachilendo

Choyamba, dziwani kuti zomwe mukumva ndi zomwe mumakhala nazo ndizabwinobwino!

"Mosasamala kanthu za amuna kapena akazi, pafupifupi aliyense adzakhumudwa nthawi ina m'moyo wake," watero mlangizi wazachipatala a Eric M. Garrison, wolemba "Mastering Multiple Position Sex."

"Mwina chifukwa chakuti akufuna kuchita zogonana pomwe wokondedwa wawo satero, kapena chifukwa choti akufuna kuchita zogonana ndipo alibe wina wochita naye."

Akuwonjezera kuti: "Kanema wofalitsa nkhani wamkulu amatipangitsa kuganiza kuti timayenera kukhala tikugonana nthawi zonse, zomwe zitha kuwonjezera kukhumudwa komanso kukhumudwa pomwe sitigonana nthawi zonse."

Momwe mungazindikire (ngati sizikudziwika kale)

Fotokozani momwe mumamvekera m'mawu omasulira atatu. Pitilizani, lembani.

Tsopano yang'anani pa iwo. Ngati ziganizo zomwe mwazilemba zonse ndi utawaleza ndi unicorn, mwina simakukhumudwitsidwa.

Koma ngati zonse zili zoipa - kukwiya, kukwiya, kukhumudwa, kukhumudwa, kukwiya, ndi zina zambiri - muyenera kudziwa komwe kumverera komwe kumachokera.

Kodi mwakhalapo ndi nkhawa pantchito? Kodi munthu wina adakuchepetseni m'malo oimikirako Target? Mwayi ndikuti kukhumudwa kwanu kumabwera chifukwa chokhala ndi nkhawa kapena kusowa tulo.

Ngati, komabe, palibe chifukwa chodziwikiratu cha amuna kapena akazi okhaokha, ndi nthawi yoti muyang'ane nokha kapena moyo wogonana. Dzifunseni kuti:

• Kodi ine ndi boo takhala tikugonana mochepa kuposa masiku onse? Kodi ndakhala ndikuzimitsa pafupipafupi?
• Kodi wokondedwa wanga wakana mayitanidwe anga omaliza oti tigonane (kupita patsogolo)?
• Kodi ndakhala nditatopa kwambiri kuti ndingathe kugona kapena kugona ndisanapite kukagona?
• Kodi pali zinthu zomwe ndikufuna zogonana zomwe sindingathe kuzifufuza?
• Kodi ndakhala ndikuchita "zoopsa" kuti zosowa zanga zogonana zitheke?
• Kodi kusintha kwaposachedwa mthupi langa kapena mankhwala kwandikhudzira kuthekera kwanga kogonana kokwanira?

Chifukwa chiyani zimachitika

"Ponena za kukhumudwa pazakugonana, kudziwa chifukwa chake zikuchitika ndikofunikira kwambiri kuposa izo ndi zikuchitika, ”akutero a Garrison. "Chifukwa chake amakulolani kuyigwiritsa ntchito moyenera."

Nthawi zina ndi thupi lako

"Kuvulala kwatsopano kulikonse, kupweteka kwanthawi yayitali, matenda ena, zizolowezi zina, komanso matenda azamayi zimatha kusokoneza kuthekera kwanu kugonana kapena kumaliseche, komwe kumatha kubweretsa chisokonezo chogonana," akutero a Garrison.

"Izi zimakhalanso chimodzimodzi ngati mnzanu amene mumagonana naye mukulimbana ndi izi."

Chifukwa chakuti kugonana panthawi yobereka komanso atangobereka kumene kumakhala kopweteka kapena kosasangalatsa kwa eni eni maliseche, ndizofala kuti anzawo azimva kukhumudwa panthawiyi, akutero.

Mankhwala ena monga antidepressants, serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), njira zakulera, ndi beta-blockers (kungotchulapo ochepa) amadziwikanso kuti amakhala ndi zotsatirapo zosangalatsa pa libido ndi pamalungo.

Ngati mwangomaliza kumwa imodzi mwa mankhwalawa, lankhulani ndi adokotala za zovuta zomwe mukukumana nazo.

Nthawi zina ndi ubongo wanu

"Kupsinjika ndi nkhawa, makamaka ngati ikupitilira, kumatha kuwononga munthu yemwe ali ndi libido, chidwi chogonana, kuthekera kosangalatsa, ndi zina zambiri," akutero Berman.

Zomwezo zimakhudzanso kukhumudwa. ikuwonetsa kuti anthu omwe ali ndi nkhawa amakhala ndi zachiwerewere pafupipafupi, amakhala ndi libido yotsika, ndipo samakhutira ndi ubale wawo.

Ndipo nthawi zina kumakhala kusinthasintha kwanu - kapena kusowa kwake

"Ndi maanja, nthawi iliyonse pamene wokondedwa mmodzi ali wokhumudwa pazakugonana [ndipo] sanalankhule mokwanira zokhumba zawo ndi wokondedwa wawo, [zimasiya mnzake mu mdima kuzilakolako zawo," akutero a Garrison.

Kapenanso, mwina inu ndi chidole kapena mnzanu simukugwirizananso. Zimachitika. Zokonda zathu ndi zomwe timakonda zimasintha pakapita nthawi.

Momwe mumamvera ndi izi zimatsimikizira zomwe zidzachitike

Kodi mukufuna kuthana ndi izi? Kapena mukufuna kudikira kuti achoke pawokha? Chisankho ndi chanu.

Komabe, Garrison akuti ndi nthawi yoti mupeze chithandizo cha wogonana kapena wamisala ngati akumva izi:

• zomwe zimakhudza chuma chanu
• zomwe zimakhudza momwe mumachitira ndi mnzanu kapena anthu ena m'moyo wanu
• kukupangitsani kuchita zinthu mopupuluma kapena m'njira zomwe simukadachita, monga kudumpha ntchito kapena kubera mnzanu

Ngati zogonana sizili patebulo

Mwina mnzanu posachedwa adasamukira kudera lonselo. Kapena mwina ndinu Lone Ranger yemwe pakadali pano wagona.

Ngati mukuyesera kuthana ndi kukhumudwaku popanda kugwiritsa ntchito manja anu (kapena pakamwa pa mnzanu) kapena pakamwa), malangizowa atha kuthandiza.

Mvetsetsani chifukwa chake kugonana kwayekha sikuli patebulo

"Ngati wina wakhumudwa koma sakufuna kuchita maliseche, ayenera kudziwa chifukwa chake," atero a Sarah Melancon, katswiri wazachipatala, katswiri wazakugonana komanso maubale pa SexToyCollective.com.

“Kodi ndi nkhani yomwe munakulira muli osagonana? Kodi mumachita manyazi ndi kuseweretsa maliseche? Kodi sukudziwa momwe ungadzipangire wekha kuti ubwere? ”

Ngati kutumizirana zolaula sikukulepheretsani kuti mugonane nokha, amalimbikitsa kuti mugwire ntchito ndi wogonana - kuseweretsa maliseche ndi mankhwala abwino kwambiri okhumudwitsa kugonana!

Mverani nyimbo zomwe zimakulamulirani

Tsopano ndizo ayi nthawi yakukhazikika The Weeknd, Banks, kapena nyimbo zina zilizonse pazomwe mumakonda kuchita zogonana.

M'malo mwake, tsegulirani voliyumuyo pachinthu china kuzizira, monga wowerengeka kapena wamayimbidwe.

"Nyimbo ndizomwe zimapangitsa kuti anthu azisangalala," atero Britney Blair, yemwe anayambitsa chipatala cha The Clinic komanso woyambitsa mnzake wa Lover, pulogalamu yabwino yogonana.

Chitani masewera olimbitsa thupi

Masewera olimbitsa thupi, yoga yotentha, CrossFit. Blair akuti mukapeza ntchito yoyenera kwa inu, kutulutsa mphamvu ndi kuthamanga kwa ma endorphin kumatha kuthandizira.

Wodzipereka

Titha kumveka ngati cheesy, koma Blair akuti, "kusiya kuganizira za iwe wekha ndikuyamba wina kungathandize."

Kuphatikiza apo, nthawi zina kumangochita zina kupatula kungowunikira momwe mumakhumudwitsidwira pogonana zitha kukhala zothandiza, akutero.

Pezani wina woti mumukumbatire

Garrison akuti nthawi zina si kugonana komwe mumakhumba mukakhumudwitsidwa - ndizokhudza anthu.

"Wodziwika kuti njala ya khungu, tikapita nthawi yayitali osakumbatirana, kukumbatirana, kapena kukumbatirana ndi munthu wina, timakhumba kukhudzidwa - ngakhale zitakhala kuti sizogonana," akutero.

Yesani kukumbatirana ndi Amayi anu nthawi yayitali mukadzawawona. Kapena funsani BFF yanu ngati angatsikire ku Netflix ndikukumbatirana. Kapena, pitani ku - kapena kuchereza! - phwando lodzitchinjiriza.

Samalani ntchito zina zathupi

Sitikungonena za zonyansa pano!

"Ndizofala kuti anthu azinyalanyaza zosowa zawo zakuthupi monga njala, ludzu, ndi tulo," akutero Melancon.

Mwachitsanzo, kangati mwakhala mukuyenda ndikudziuza "mphindi zisanu!" mpaka chikhodzodzo chanu chatsala pang'ono kuphulika?

"Vuto ndiloti mukasiya kumvera thupi lanu, imasiyanso 'kuyankhula' nanu," akutero.

"Kuyamba kufufuza ndi thupi lanu za zosowa za amuna kapena akazi okhaokha kungakuthandizeni kuzindikira zosowa zanu zakugonana."

Ndipo mukazindikira zosowa zanu zakugonana? Chabwino, mumatha kuwapeza ndikupewa kukhumudwa konse pokhudzana ndi kugonana. Kupambana!

Kumbukirani kuti malingaliro onse ndi akanthawi

"Palibe amene amamva kukhala wokhumudwa, kapena wina aliyense, kwamuyaya," akutero Blair. "Dzichitireni chifundo, ndipo dziwani kuti izi zidzachitikanso."

Ngati ili patebulo, ndipo pano muli nokha

Palibe boo, palibe vuto. Simuyenera kukhala pachibwenzi chachikulu kuti mupeze yanu.

Tsikani nanu

Ndiko kulondola, ndi nthawi yothamangira.

Ngati kupwetekedwa kwanu sikukuthandizani kupyola muzokhumudwitsa izi, sinthani!

Mutha kuyesa:

• yaitali, zikwapu dala mmwamba ndi pansi
• jagged, opindika sitiroko
• pogogoda malo anu "it"
• kukulitsa kapena kuchepetsa kuthamanga kapena kukakamiza

Sanachite? Yesani kudzipanga nokha chikondi

"Ngati umachita maliseche mwachangu kwenikweni, ngati kuti ukufuna kuthana nawo, mwina sungakhutire kwambiri ndipo ungakhumudwe kwambiri," akutero Melancon.

Ichi ndichifukwa chake amalimbikitsa kudzipangira nokha. "Tengani nthawi yanu, ndipo mudzakhala okhutira kwambiri."

Mwinanso mungayesere kuyesa, kapena kuwongolera kwamankhwala, zomwe zimaphatikizapo kudzimangirira mpaka kumapeto kwa chiwonongeko mobwerezabwereza mpaka mutadzilola nokha kumaliza kwambiri.

"Kusintha kumaganiziridwa kuti kumabweretsa chiwonetsero 'chabwino' kapena 'chokulirapo', chomwe chimatanthauza kuti chingakhale chothandiza kukuthandizani kuthana ndi kukhumudwa pazakugonana," akutero a Garrison.

Khalani ndi malo amodzi usiku

Malingana ngati aliyense atenga nawo mbali - ndipo ali ndi malingaliro abwino kuti Chivomerezo - ndipo akudziwa kuti uwu ndi malo okhazikika usiku umodzi, izi zili patebulopo.

Onetsetsani kuti mukugonana motetezeka.

O, ndipo chonde lemberani mnzanu pasadakhale kuti wina adziwe komwe mukupita, kapena kuti mukuyitanitsa "mlendo".

Ganizirani za anzanu omwe ali ndi zopindulitsa

Zachidziwikire, ma FWB angathe khala wosokoneza. Koma ngati aliyense ali ndi tsogolo pazomwe akuyembekeza kuti atuluke - kwa inu, kukhutitsidwa ndi kugonana - zochitika angathe khalani odabwitsa!

Ngati muli ndi bwenzi lomwe mwakhala mukukopana naye (ndipo mwina mwalumikizapo kale kale), mungayesere kufunsa:

• "Khalani omasuka kunditumizira emoji (kapena musanyalanyaze lembalo palimodzi!) Ngati simuli pansi. Koma mungamve bwanji za anzanu omwe ali ndi mwayi? Sindikufuna kukhala ndi chibwenzi pakadali pano, koma si chinsinsi chomwe ndakhala ndikukuwona kuti ndiwe wokongola. ”
• “Hei :). Sindikufuna chibwenzi chabwinobwino, koma ndikufuna kukuitanani kuti mudzakhale nawo pa kanema kanema usiku nthawi ina, ngati mukufuna. "

Mukamalemba mawu anu (kapena kuposa pamenepo, kubweretsa IRL), tsatirani malamulowa:

1. Onetsetsani kuti simukuyang'ana china chake chachikulu.
2. Fotokozani zomwe mukufuna (kugonana).
3. Onetsetsani kuti munthuyo akumasuka kunena kuti ayi.
4. Musafunse kapena kuwapangitsa kumva kuti ndi odabwitsa ngati anganene kuti ayi.

Yesani kukhala pachibwenzi

Kungoti simukukhala pachibwenzi tsopano, sizikutanthauza kuti simungathe kapena simungathe miyezi 3 kuchokera pano… Ndipo ngakhale sizili choncho nthawi zonse, chibwenzi nthawi zambiri chimakhala chofanana.

Chifukwa chake, ngati mukukhala "okonzeka" (khulupirirani matumbo anu pano, anthu) kuti mukhale ndi zibwenzi, lowetsani mdziko la zibwenzi!

Mutha:

• Tsitsani mapulogalamu.
• Uzani anthu kuti muli pachibwenzi kachiwiri!
• Funsani anzanu kuti akukhazikitseni.
• Funsani winawake, ngati pali wina amene mwakhala mukumuphwanya.

Ganyu wogwirira ntchito zogonana

Bwanji osakwaniritsa zosowa zanu zakugonana mothandizidwa ndi katswiri? Amene mungasankhe kulembera zimatengera zomwe mumakonda.

Mwachitsanzo, ngati mwalowa:

• pokhala ogonjera, mutha ganyu Dominatrix kuti ikumangirireni
• kuwonera wina kuseweretsa maliseche, mutha kulembera mtundu wama webcam
• popereka pakamwa, mutha kulemba ganyu wogwirizira pawokha wodzigonana

Ngati ili patebulo, ndipo muli pachibwenzi

Mosakayikira, kumverera kukhumudwa ndi chibwenzi mukamakhala pachibwenzi ndi winawake kununkha. Mwamwayi, pali zinthu zomwe mungayesere.

Ngati simunayesepo, yambitsani kugonana

Ngati nkhani ndiyakuti inu ndi mnzanu mwazolowera chizolowezi chocheza ndipo zakhala minayi, Berman akuti zingakhale zophweka ngati kuitana mnzanu [kuti ayanjanenso pano] nanu!

Ndani akudziwa, mwina akhala okhumudwa monga inu.

Kulankhulana, kulankhulana, kulankhulana

Ngati "kungogonana" sikukuthandizani inu nonse, ndi nthawi yokambirana moona mtima ndi mnzanu zomwe mumamva komanso chifukwa chake.

"Zokambirana izi [zitha kukhala] zovuta," akutero a Garrison. "Koma ndizofunikira."

Musadzimve olakwa pakufuna kukambirana ndi boo anu za momwe mungapangire moyo wanu wogonana kukhala wosangalatsa nonse.

Nazi njira zina zomwe mungabweretsere ndi mnzanu, kutengera komwe mukukhumudwitsidwa ndi kugonana:

• "Ndidali kuwerenga nkhani yokhudza kukhomerera, ndipo ndikuganiza kuti ndichopanda chidwi chomwe ndikufuna kuyesa nanu. Kodi ndichinthu chomwe mungafune kuphunzira zambiri ndikuyesera limodzi? ”
• "Ndikudziwa kuti kugonana kwa P-in-V sikungatheke kwa inu kuyambira mwana atabadwa, koma ndingakonde kuyesa mitundu ina yaubwenzi. Kodi ndi zomwe mungayesere kuyesa? ”
• "Ndimamva ngati kuti sitinachite zogonana chifukwa cha [X nkhani], ndipo ndikanakonda kukambirana. Ndikusowa kumva kuti ndili pafupi nanu. ”

Chotsani zochitika zanu zogonana patebulo

Ngati inu ndi mnzanu mumakhala ndi chizolowezi chogonana - monga ambiri omwe amakhala nawo nthawi yayitali - kuwongolera "okalamba omwewo, okalamba omwewo" atha kukuthandizani kuti mugonane kuchokera kumalo oyeserera kwambiri.

“M'malo mochita 'mwachizolowezi,' inu khalani nawo kukhala ndi nthawi yosewera limodzi ndikuwona zomwe zimasangalatsa, ”akutero Melancon. Zosangalatsa!

Ngati mukuvutikabe kuti mupezenso chidwi

Yesani pamwambapa, komabe muli ndi malingaliro onsewa omwe simukudziwa kuti muchite nawo chiyani? Yakwana nthawi yobweretsa zabwino.

Wogonana komanso wothandizira ubale ndi lingaliro labwino ngati mukulimbana ndi manyazi ogonana, zikhumbo zakugonana, komanso kukhumudwa pazakugonana.

Zomwezo zimapitilira ngati mukufuna wina wopita ndi boo wanu.

Mfundo yofunika

Kukhala wokhumudwa pazakugonana kumatha kukhala koipitsitsa.

Kaya ndinu osakwatiwa kapena odzipereka kwa moyo wanu wonse - ndipo mukufunitsitsa kupitilirabe ndi chiwerewere kapena ayi - pali njira osati Imani kukhumudwa, koma kukhala wokhutira ndi kugonana!

A Gabrielle Kassel ndi mlembi wa ku New York wogonana komanso wathanzi komanso Mphunzitsi wa CrossFit Level 1. Amakhala munthu wam'mawa, adayesa opitilira 200, ndikudya, kuledzera, ndikupaka makala - zonsezi mdzina la utolankhani. Munthawi yake yaulere, amapezeka kuti amawerenga mabuku azodzilankhulira ndi ma buku achikondi, kukanikiza benchi, kapena kuvina. Mutsatireni pa Instagram.