Kodi Kutentha Kwambiri Kumatanthauza Chiyani?

Zamkati

• Kodi fluidity ndi chiyani?
• Kuchita Zamagonana Monga Chizindikiro vs.
• Ndingadziwe bwanji ngati ndili ndi madzi ogonana?
• Onaninso za

Kugonana ndi imodzi mwamaganizidwe omwe amasintha omwe amatha kukhala ovuta kukulunga mutu wonse - koma mwina simuli. akuyenera ku. Sosaiti imakonda kunena kuti kugonana ndi njira yodziwira kuti ndi ndani yemwe ali pachibale ndi wina aliyense. Koma bwanji ngati aliyense atangokhala ndi mwayi wogonana popanda kunena pagulu kuti ndi anthu amtundu wanji omwe amakhala nawo?

M'malo mwake, anthu ena otchuka adalengeza poyera kuti alibe ndikufuna kuti afotokoze za kugonana kwawo kapena kuwafotokozera. Poyankhulana ndi Mwala wogudubuza, woimba komanso wolemba nyimbo St. Vincent adati, kwa iye, onse amuna ndi akazi ndi ozama ndipo chikondi chilibe chofunikira. Sarah Paulson, pokambirana ndi Kunyada Gwero, adati samalola zokumana nazo zakudziwika kuti ndi amuna kapena akazi. Cara Delevigne adagawana ndi mnzake wapamtima panthawi yofunsa mafunso Kukongola kuti amakonda mawu oti "madzimadzi" m'malo momangokakamizidwa kuti azigonana.

Moyo ndi wosokonekera. Kugonana ndi kugonana komanso zomwe zimadzutsa anthu ndizosokoneza. "Madzi ogonana amalola kusintha kosasintha ndi chitukuko, ndi momwe zilili zogonana zonse," atero a Chris Donaghue, Ph.D., L.C.S.W., komanso wolemba Chikondi Chopanduka. "Kugonana ndi zambiri osati kungosankha amuna kapena akazi okhaokha; kumakhudzanso maonekedwe, kukula kwake, makhalidwe, maonekedwe, ndi zochitika."

Zonsezi ndizoti, kugonana sikokwanira m'bokosi losasunthika - kapena zilembo zenizeni zomwe zilimo. M'malo mwake, kugonana ndi chinthu chamoyo, chopumira, komanso chovuta kwambiri. Ndipo ndipamene mawu oti "madzi ogonana" komanso "madzi ogonana" amayamba. Nazi zonse zomwe muyenera kudziwa kuti mutha kugwiritsa ntchito mawuwa molondola.

Kodi fluidity ndi chiyani?

Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., wochita kafukufuku ku The Kinsey Institute komanso wolemba buku la The Kinsey Institute, Justin Lehmiller, ananena kuti: Ndiuzeni Zomwe Mukufuna. Mwinamwake mudakhalapo chiyambi cha moyo wanu wokopeka ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi, koma mudzakopeka ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wina m'tsogolomu. Kusintha kwa kugonana kumavomereza kuti ndizotheka kuti kusinthaku kuchitike - kuti mutha kukopeka ndi anthu osiyanasiyana komanso kudzizindikiritsa kwanu kungasinthe pakapita nthawi.

Zachidziwikire, si aliyense amene angakhale ndi zotere - omwe mumakopeka ndi moyo wanu sangasinthe."Zomwe tikudziwa ndikuti kugonana kumakhalapo pamitundu ingapo," atero a Katy DeJong, mphunzitsi wazakugonana komanso wopanga The Pleasure Anarchist. "Anthu ena amakumana ndi zochitika zosasunthika za kukopeka ndi kugonana, khalidwe, ndi kudziwika, ndipo ena amawona zokopa ndi zokhumba zawo monga madzi ambiri m'chilengedwe."

Lingaliro la yemwe amawonedwa ngati madzimadzi ogonana nawonso amalowerera kwa womxn. Chifukwa chiyani? "Tikukhala m'dera lokhala ndi makolo akale lomwe limayang'ana kwambiri kuyang'ana kwa amuna kotero timayang'ana kwambiri zomwe amuna akufuna kuwona," akutero a Donaghue. "Timasala modetsa nkhawa chilichonse chogonana chomwe sichiri choyenera kapena chomwe chimatipangitsa kukhala osamasuka." Ichi ndichifukwa chake anthu ambiri amavutika kukhulupirira kuti anthu omwe ali ndi mayina ake amathanso kukhala ogonana.

Komanso, nkofunika kumvetsetsa kuti kukhala madzimadzi osagonana si chinthu chofanana ndi kukhala wamadzimadzi kapena wosakhala wamabina; kukhudzika ndi kugonana kumatanthawuza za kugonana kwanu kapena zomwe mumakonda (zomwe mumakopeka nazo), pomwe zomwe mumakonda zimatengera jenda lomwe mumadziwa.

Ngakhale kuti mawu oti "sexually fluid" ndi "sexual fluidity" angawoneke ngati akusintha poyamba, pali kusiyana kwa momwe anthu amagwiritsira ntchito mawu awa:

• Zamadzimadzi itha kugwiritsidwa ntchito pofotokoza nthawi yayitali pakati pazakugonana zomwe mungakumane nazo m'malo osiyanasiyana m'moyo. Izi sizichotsa maubwenzi kapena zokopa zilizonse zakale komanso sizitanthauza kuti mukunama kapena kuyesa kubisa zomwe mumagonana.
• Zamadzimadzi amathanso kufotokozera kuthekera kwakusintha kwakugonana, kapena kusintha kwakugonana komanso kukopa, pakapita nthawi.
• Kugonana madzimadzi, kumbali ina, ingagwiritsidwe ntchito ngati njira yodziwira nokha mofanana ndi momwe wina angadziwire kuti ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.

chithunzi / 1

Kuchita Zamagonana Monga Chizindikiro vs.

Monga tafotokozera pamwambapa, kuyerekezera zakugonana kumatha kukhala lingaliro komanso kudziwika. Itha kukhala imodzi kapena imzake, kapena zonse ziwiri. Mwachitsanzo, ngati muzindikira kuti ndinu munthu wokonda kugonana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha (kapena malingaliro ena aliwonse ogonana), ndiye kuti mutha kugwiritsa ntchito mawuwa kusonyeza kuti mukuvomereza kuti kugonana kwanu kukuchitikabe. Monga chizindikiritso chomwe chimatanthauzira kusadziwika kwa mawonekedwe azakugonana, liwu lomwelo ndilamadzi tanthauzo. (Zokhudzana: Kodi Kukhala Wopusa Kumatanthauza Chiyani Kwenikweni?)

Lehmiller anati: "Lingaliro lachiwerewere limasonyeza kuti kugonana kwaumunthu sikukhazikika." "Ndipo kuti itha kusintha." Tsopano, ndani amapeza zomwe zimasiyana mosiyanasiyana kuchokera pamunthu ndi munthu. "Kusintha ndikusintha kwakukopa kwachiwerewere sizitanthauza kuti kusintha kumeneku ndi zinthu zomwe mungasankhe," akutero DeJong. Palibe amene amasankha kutero mverani momwe amachitira, koma amasankha momwe angafotokozere zakumvazo.

Mwamwayi, chilankhulo chokhudzana ndi kugonana chikusintha. "Tipitiliza kuwona makalata akuwonjezeredwa pachidule cha LGBTQIA +," akutero a Donaghue. Iyi ndi nkhani yabwino chifukwa zilembo (ndi zosalemba) zimathandiza anthu kuti azitha kuwonedwa komanso kumva. Amatsimikizira zomwe mwakumana nazo ndikukudziwitsani kwa anthu ena omwe, nthawi ina, adamvanso chimodzimodzi. (Zogwirizana: Ma LGBTQ + Onse Omwe Muyenera Kudziwa Kuti Ndi Mgwirizano Wabwino)

Chifukwa chake, ngakhale zolemba zili ndi njira yoyikitsira anthu m'mabokosi ndi kuwaletsa, amathanso kulumikiza anthu. Kupatsa dzina lanu zokumana nazo pamoyo ndikupeza ena omwe akukhala nanu kumalimbikitsa. Kuphatikiza apo, "mfundo yonse siyoyenera kukhala yotsimikizika," akutero a Donaghue. "Aliyense ali ndi tanthauzo lake la zomwe zilembozi zikutanthawuza." Kugonana, monga china chilichonse, ndi kotseguka.

Ndingadziwe bwanji ngati ndili ndi madzi ogonana?

"Ngati wina awona kuti zokhumba zake ndi zokopa zake zikusintha ndi zaka komanso zomwe adakumana nazo pamoyo, zitha kukhala ziwonetsero zakugonana, koma osati nthawi zonse," akutero DeJong. Palibe vuto kukhala osatsimikiza komanso kukhala ndi chidwi chokhudzana ndi kugonana kwanu (nthawi iliyonse, pazifukwa zilizonse). Dinani ndikufufuza.

Ngati mukumverera ngati madzi ogonana (kapena kukhala madzimadzi ogonana) ndi nthawi yomwe mutha kuyambiranso kwa milungu ingapo, miyezi, zaka, kapena zaka makumi angapo, kenako nkumacheza nawo kwakanthawi. Muthanso kuwerenga zambiri zakugonana. Yesani Kukhazikika Pazakugonana: Kumvetsetsa Chikondi ndi Chikhumbo cha Akazi ndi Lisa M. Diamond kapena Makamaka Molunjika: Kuchita Zamagonana Pakati pa Amuna Wolemba Ritch C. Savin-Williams.

Kusintha kwachiwerewere, monga momwe zilili ndi chikhalidwe china chilichonse chogonana, sichinthu chokhacho chomwe chimakupangitsani kukhala omwe muli. Ndi chidutswa chimodzi - kuwonjezera pa miliyoni zina - zomwe zimakupangitsani inu, inu. Malebulo (ndi osakhala zilembo) amakhala ndi malo awo popanga madera ndi malo otetezeka kuti mutsegule kuti mudziwe.

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