Limbikitsani!

Zamkati

• Onaninso za

Amayi awiri omwe amagwira ntchito yofananayo amachotsedwa ntchito. Makampani awo akhudzidwa kwambiri ndi mavuto azachuma, ndipo chiyembekezo chawo chopeza malo atsopano ndi ochepa. Ali ndi maphunziro ofanana, mbiri ya ntchito komanso luso pantchito. Mutha kuganiza kuti angakhale ndi mwayi wofanana woti afike pamapazi awo, koma satero: Chaka chotsatira, wina alibe ntchito, wosweka komanso wokwiya, pomwe winayo wapanga njira yatsopano. Sizinakhale zophweka, ndipo samalandira zochuluka monga momwe amachitira pantchito yake yakale. Koma ali wokondwa komanso wodalirika ndipo akuyang'ana kumbuyo kwake ngati mwayi wosayembekezeka kutsatira njira yatsopano m'moyo.

Tonse taziwona izi: Mavuto akabwera, anthu ena amasangalala, pomwe ena amagwa. Chomwe chimasiyanitsa opulumuka ndi kupirira kwawo - kuthekera kopirira komanso kukula bwino pansi pamavuto. "Anthu ena amatha kuchita nawo mwambowu," atero a Roberta R. Greene, Ph.D., pulofesa wazantchito ku University of Texas ku Austin komanso mkonzi wa Kukhazikika: Njira Yophatikizira Kuchita, Ndondomeko, ndi Kafukufuku (National Association of Social Workers, 2002). "Vuto likabuka, amayamba kuyenda njira yolithetsera."

Kulimba mtima n'kofunika kwambiri kulimbikitsa. M'malo mothedwa nzeru ndi zopuma zovuta, anthu olimba mtima amapambana. M'malo moponderezedwa, zinthu zikuwayendera bwino. "Kulimba mtima kumakuthandizani kusintha zovuta kuchokera kuzovuta zomwe zingachitike kukhala mwayi," atero a Salvatore R. Maddi, Ph.D., yemwe anayambitsa Hardiness Institute Inc. ku Newport Beach, Calif. Anthu olimba mtima amasintha miyoyo yawo chifukwa amalamulira ndikugwira ntchito kuti athandize kwambiri zomwe zimawachitikira. Amasankha zochita m'malo mongokhala chete, komanso kupatsidwa mphamvu kuposa kufooka.

Kodi ndinu wolimba mtima motani? Mukudima, kodi mungakhale kunja, kudandaula za anansi anu, kapena mungakhale mukukhala m'nyumba mukung'ung'udza za zinthu zoyipa zomwe zikuwoneka kuti zikukuchitikirani? Ngati ndinu wobuula, muyenera kudziwa kuti kulimba mtima kumatha kuphunzira. Zoonadi, anthu ena amabadwa ndi luso lobwerera m'mbuyo, koma akatswiri amalonjeza kuti ife omwe sitinathe tikhoza kupanga luso lomwe limanyamula anthu olimba panthawi yovuta kwambiri.

Dzifunseni mafunso otsatirawa; mukakhala ndi mayankho oti "inde", m'pamenenso mumalimba mtima. Mayankho "Ayi" akuwonetsa madera omwe mungafune kuti mugwirepo. Kenako tsatirani mapulani athu kuti mukhale olimba mtima.

1. Kodi mudakulira m'banja lokondana?

"Anthu olimba mtima ali ndi makolo, zitsanzo komanso owalangiza omwe adawalimbikitsa kuti akhulupirire kuti akhoza kuchita bwino," akutero Maddi. Iye ndi anzake anapeza kuti anthu ambiri amene ali olimba mtima (kapena kulimba mtima, monga momwe Maddi amatchulira) anakulira ndi makolo ndi akuluakulu ena omwe anawaphunzitsa luso lolimbana ndi vutoli ndipo anatsindika kuti ali ndi mphamvu zopambana zovuta za moyo. Akuluakulu osalimba mtima adakula ndi zovuta zofanana koma chithandizo chochepa.

Dongosolo la zochita Simungasinthe ubwana wanu, koma mutha kudzizungulira nokha ndi "banja" loyenera tsopano. Funani anzanu omwe angakuthandizeni, abale, oyandikana nawo ndi ogwira nawo ntchito, ndipo pewani anthu omwe amakuchitirani zoipa. Pitani ku gulu lanu lothandizira, kuwathandiza ndi kuwalimbikitsa pafupipafupi. Ndiyeno, pamene vuto likafika m’moyo wanu, mwachiwonekere adzakubwezerani chiyanjo.

2. Kodi mumavomereza kusintha?

Kaya ikutaya ntchito, kutha kapena kusamukira mumzinda watsopano, zovuta kwambiri pamoyo zimakhudza kusintha kwakukulu. Ngakhale anthu osapirira nthawi zambiri amakwiya ndikuwopsezedwa ndikusintha, omwe ali olimba mtima kwambiri amatha kuzilandira ndikusangalala nazo ndikukhala ndi chidwi chatsopano. Amadziwa - ndikuvomereza - kuti kusinthaku ndichinthu chachilendo m'moyo, ndipo amayang'ana njira zopangira kutengera kusintha.

Al Siebert, Ph.D., mtsogoleri wa The Resiliency Center ku Portland, Ore. Umunthu Wopulumuka: Chifukwa Chomwe Anthu Ena Amakhala Olimba Mtima, Ochenjera, Komanso Aluso Pothana ndi Mavuto Amoyo ... ndi Momwe Mungakhalire, Inunso (Berkley Yofalitsa Gulu, 1996). "Pamene china chatsopano chikubwera, ubongo wawo umatsegula kunja."

Ndondomeko yantchito Yesetsani kukhala ndi chidwi chambiri komanso kutseguka kuti musinthe m'njira zing'onozing'ono kuti pakachitika kusintha kwakukulu, kapena mutasankha, mudzakhala ndi zokumana nazo zabwino. "Anthu olimba mtima amafunsa mafunso ambiri, amafuna kudziwa momwe zinthu zimayendera," akutero Siebert. "Amadabwa pazinthu, kuyesa, kulakwitsa, kuvulala, kuseka."

Mwachitsanzo, atatha, amatenga tchuthi chomwe adakonzekera kale m'malo mokhala kunyumba ndikulakalaka kuti chibwenzi chidatha. Ngati mumakonda kusewera komanso chidwi chanu, mumatha kuchita zinthu zosafunikira podzifunsa nokha, "Ndiyenera kuchita chiyani kuti ndikonze izi? Ndingagwiritse ntchito bwanji zomwe zandichitikira kuti ndipindule?"

3. Kodi mwaphunzira kuchokera ku zokumana nazo zakale?

Atalemba anthu ofuna kudzipha, a Robert Blundo, Ph.D., wogwira ntchito zololeza komanso pulofesa wothandizana nawo ku University of North Carolina ku Wilmington, amafunsa omwe akukumana ndi mavuto kuti aganizire momwe adapulumukira pamavuto am'mbuyomu. Poganizira za zomwe mwachita bwino m'mbuyomu, akutero, mutha kudziwa maluso ndi njira zomwe zingakuthandizeni kupirira zovuta zatsopano. N’chimodzimodzinso ndi kulephera: Mwa kulingalira zolakwa zanu zakale, mungaphunzire kupeŵa kuchitanso zomwezo. "Anthu omwe ali ndi zovuta zambiri amaphunzira bwino kuchokera kulephera," akutero Maddi.

Ndondomeko yantchito Pakakhala zovuta, dzifunseni kuti ndi maluso ndi njira ziti zothetsera mavuto omwe mudakumana nawo m'mbuyomu. Nchiyani chinakuthandizani? Kodi kunali kufunsa mlangizi wauzimu kuti awathandize? Nchiyani chinakupatsani mwayi kuti mupirire? Kutenga njinga zazitali? Kulemba m'magazini anu? Kupeza chithandizo kuchokera kwa othandizira? Ndipo mutatha kulimbana ndi namondwe, ganizirani chomwe chinayambitsa. Nenani kuti mwachotsedwa ntchito. "Dzifunseni kuti, 'Kodi tikuphunzira chiyani apa? Ndizinthu ziti zoyambirira zomwe ndidanyalanyaza?'" Siebert akulangiza. Kenako, ganizirani zomwe mukadachita kuti muthane ndi vutoli. Mwina mukadapempha abwana anu kuti akuphunzitseni bwino kapena kuti mumvetse bwino za kuwunika koyipa. Kuyang'ana kumbuyo ndi 20/20: Gwiritsani ntchito!

4. Kodi mumakhala ndi udindo pamavuto anu?

Anthu omwe samatha kupirira amatha kuyika mavuto awo kwa anthu ena kapena zochitika zakunja. Amadzudzula okwatirana chifukwa cha banja loipa, abwana awo pantchito yoperewera, majini awo chifukwa chodwala. Ndithudi, ngati wina akuchitirani chinthu choipa, ndiye kuti ali wolakwa.Koma anthu olimba mtima amayesetsa kudzipatula kwa munthuyo kapena chochitikacho chomwe chimawapweteka ndikupanga zoyeserera. "Si momwe zinthu zilili koma momwe mumayankhira ndizofunika," akutero Siebert. Ngati mumangiriza moyo wanu kwa munthu wina, ndiye kuti njira yokhayo yomwe mungakhalire bwino ndikuti ngati munthu amene wakupwetekani akupepesa, ndipo nthawi zambiri, sizotheka. "Wovutitsidwayo akuimba mlandu vutoli," akutero Siebert. “Munthu wopirira amakhala ndi udindo ndipo amati, ‘Mmene ndimayankhira zimenezi n’zofunika kwambiri.

Ndondomeko yantchito M'malo moganiza momwe mungabwezeretse munthu wina chifukwa chokukhumudwitsani, dzifunseni kuti: "Ndingatani kuti zinthu zizindiyendera bwino?" Ngati kukwezedwa kumene mumafuna ndikupita kwa winawake, musakhale kunyumba ndikudzudzula abwana anu, kuwonera TV ndikulakalaka kusiya. M'malo mwake, yang'anani kupeza ntchito yatsopano kapena kusamukira ku kampani ina. Yesetsani kusiya mkwiyo wanu; zomwe zidzakumasulani kuti mupitirize.

5. Kodi ndinu odzipereka kuti mukhale olimba mtima?

Anthu olimba mtima amakhazikika pakudzipereka kwawo kubwezera. "Pakuyenera kukhala ndi lingaliro kuti ngati mulibe mphamvu, muziyang'ana, ndipo ngati mutakhala nayo, mudzakhala ndi zina zambiri," akutero a Greene. Mwanjira ina, anthu ena amakhala olimba mtima chifukwa chongofuna kutero, ndipo chifukwa amazindikira kuti zivute zitani, iwo okha ndi omwe amatha kusankha ngati angakumane ndi zovuta kapena kulowerera.

Ndondomeko yantchito Lankhulani ndi anzanu omwe amatha kuchira msanga kuchokera kumavuto kuti mudziwe zomwe zimawathandiza, werengani mabuku onena za kupulumuka pamavuto ndikuganizira za momwe mungayankhire molimba mtima pazochitika zina. Mukakumana ndi zovuta, chepetsani pang'onopang'ono ndikudzifunsa momwe munthu wosasunthika angayankhire. Ngati mukufuna thandizo kuti muchepetse kulimba mtima kwanu, ganizirani zakuwona wothandizira kapena wogwira ntchito zothandiza anthu.

Koposa zonse, khalani otsimikiza kuti mutha kusintha. "Nthawi zina zimangokhala ngati kutha kwa dziko," akutero Blundo. "Koma ngati mutha kutuluka panja ndikuwona kuti sizotheka, mutha kupulumuka. Kumbukirani kuti nthawi zonse mumakhala ndi zisankho."

Onaninso za