Muubwenzi Woyipa? Izi ndi zomwe muyenera kuyang'ana (ndi momwe mungasamalire)

Zamkati

• Kodi mnzake woopsa amachita chiyani
• Masiku oyipa vs. ma vibes oyipa
• Ikani inu pansi
• Miseche
• Pepani mopanda kuona mtima
• Pangani inu kukhala wamanjenje
• Siyani inu osakhazikika
• Yerekezerani ndi anthu ena
• Adziyike kutsogolo ndi pakati - nthawi zonse
• Yesetsani kukusinthani
• Momwe maubwenzi owopsa amakukhudzirani
• Mumakhala osungulumwa komanso osungulumwa
• Kupsinjika kwanu kumawonjezeka
• Simukumva kuthandizidwa
• Kudzidalira kwanu komanso kudzidalira kwanu kumachitika
• Mumadziimba mlandu chifukwa cha zomwe amachita
• Nthawi zambiri mumamva kuti mulibe malire
• Anzanu ena amavutika
• Kotero, tsopano chiani?
• Palibe vuto kufuna kupereka mwayi wachiwiri…
• … Koma sikuti nthawi zonse lingaliro labwino koposa
• Tengani malo anu
• Khazikitsani malire
• Yesetsani kusanachitike
• Khalani achindunji
• Ganizirani mosamala musanayanjanenso
• Tsegulani kwa ena
• Bwanji ngati tili ndi anzathu onse?
• Dzisamalire
• Mfundo yofunika

Anzanu amathandiza kuti moyo ukhale waphindu. Amakuthandizani kucheza ndi anthu, kuthana ndi kusungulumwa, komanso kukuthandizani kukhala osangalala komanso kukhala osangalala ndi moyo.

Kusungabe malo ochezera kumatha kutalikitsa moyo wanu ndikuchepetsa chiopsezo chazaumoyo wanu, kuphatikizapo kukhumudwa ndi kuthamanga kwa magazi.

Mabwenzi ena sangakhale ndi zotulukapo zabwino zoterezi. Zina zitha kukhala zowopsa.

Maubwenzi oopsa amatha kutenga mitundu yosiyanasiyana, koma nthawi zambiri amakukhumudwitsani m'maganizo ndipo amakhala ndi njira yokugwetserani m'malo momangirira.

Mukuganiza kuti mungadziwe bwanji zaubwenzi woopsa? Simukudziwa momwe mungathanirane ndi vutoli kapena momwe zingakhudzireni? Tili pano kuti tithandizire ndi maupangiri a 25 pakuzindikira ndi kuthana ndi anzanu omwe amabweretsa mavuto kuposa chimwemwe.

Kodi mnzake woopsa amachita chiyani

Aliyense ali ndi masiku abwino komanso oyipa. Patsiku loipa, kukoma mtima sikumabwera mosavuta, ngakhale ndi okondedwa. Ndiye, mungadziwe bwanji kusiyana pakati pa bwenzi loopsa kwambiri ndi munthu amene angokhala ndi tsiku loipa?

Masiku oyipa vs. ma vibes oyipa

Mnzanu wabwino wosakhala ndi tsiku labwino akhoza kukudutsani kapena kuoneka ngati muli kutali, koma mwina adzapepesa zinthu zitakhazikika.

Mabwenzi oledzeretsa, komano, amakonda kutsatira njira yomwe siimatha kwenikweni. Sadzawonetsa kudzimvera kapena kufuna kusintha, ngakhale atazindikira kuti adakupweteketsani.

Nazi zina mwa zinthu zomwe bwenzi loopsa angachite:

Ikani inu pansi

Anzanu nthawi zambiri amakondana wina ndi mnzake, ndipo kusekerera pang'ono kwabwino sikutanthauza kuti ubale wanu ndiwowopsa, makamaka ngati mukuseka, inunso.

Mnzanu akamakunyozetsani nthawi zonse ndikukupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu achisoni, kaya amagwiritsa ntchito machenjera osazindikira kapena chipongwe chenicheni, mwina ubwenzi wanu siwothandiza.

Miseche

Mwauza mnzanu china chake molimba mtima, ndipo tsiku lotsatira, gulu lanu lonse limadziwa tsatanetsatane wake.

Aliyense akhoza kuterera ndikunena zinthu zomwe sayenera. Anzanu oopsa akhoza kumawoneka ngati akusangalala kufalitsa zinsinsi, ngakhale mukawafunsa kuti azisunga zinsinsi zawo.

Wina yemwe amangokhalira kukukhulupirirani nthawi zonse mwina samasamala zakukhosi kwanu.

Pepani mopanda kuona mtima

Mukamawafotokozera zochita zawo, amanyalanyaza kupwetekako kwanu kapena kumangoti, “Pepani.”

M'malo motenga nthawi kuti muganizire momwe akuwonera, amati, "Pepani mukumva choncho" kapena kutsatira kupepesa kwawo ndikudzitchinjiriza "koma."

Mukudziwa ameneyo: "Pepani ndikupweteketsani malingaliro anu, koma kunali kuseka chabe.“

Osapepesawa akuwonetsa kuti wina sasamala momwe zochita zawo zimakukhudzirani.

Pangani inu kukhala wamanjenje

Kusadziwiratu pakokha sikukutanthauza kuti wina ali ndi poizoni, koma momwe zochita zawo zitha kuvulaza kapena kumva nkhanza, ndi kwanzeru kupitiriza kukhala osamala.

Palibe amene angadziwikiratu, koma ndizomveka kuti munthu amene mumamukhulupirira afotokozere momwe akumvera mumkhalidwe wabwino, wathanzi.

Mwinanso amakwiya kwambiri ndikukuwiyirani pazinthu zazing'ono, monga kuyiwala kuzimitsa TV kapena kusabwezera jekete lomwe adakubwerekerani. Kenako, miniti yotsatira amachita ngati palibe chomwe chidachitika.

Ngati simudziwa momwe angachitire, mwina zingakhale zovuta kuti mukhale omasuka kukhala nawo.

Siyani inu osakhazikika

Kukhala ndi mnzanu wapamtima kuyenera kukupangitsani kukhala osangalala, makamaka. Mwina kucheza ndi mnzanu winawake kumakusowetsani mtendere kapena kukhumudwa.

Mwina simungakhale ndi chifukwa chabwino, koma mukawasiya, mumakhala omasuka kuposa kukhumudwitsidwa, ndipo simukuyembekezera kucheza nawo.

Mukawona kusakhazikika uku, lingalirani kuyesa ubale wanu ngati muli ndi zisonyezo zina kuti zinthu sizili bwino kwenikweni.

Yerekezerani ndi anthu ena

Kodi muli ndi mnzanu yemwe amakonda kukuwonetsani njira zomwe simukuzifanizira ndi anzawo? Mwina nyumba yanu ndiyocheperako kuposa ya X motero sizosangalatsa kucheza nanu. Kapena kuvala kwambiri ngati Y kungakupangitseni kukhala kozizira.

Anthu ali ndi zikhalidwe zawo komanso zosiyana, ndipo bwenzi labwino limazindikira izi. Sangakufanizireni ndi ena kapena kukutanthauza kuti ndinu ocheperako munthu wina. Samagwiritsa ntchito anzawo kuti akupangitseni kuchita zinthu zomwe simukufuna kuzichita, mwina.

Adziyike kutsogolo ndi pakati - nthawi zonse

Kodi mudakhalako ndi bwenzi labwino? Amasiya pomwe zinthu zikuyenda bwino kapena akafuna china, koma liti ndiwe kulimbana, sungathe kuwafikira konse.

Anzanu ena amatha kupitilira ola limodzi mavuto awo aposachedwa. Akamaliza kutulutsa, amapereka chikwangwani, "Ndipo muli bwanji?" asanatembenukire kukambiranako mwachangu.

Anzanu enieni samangotenga. Amathandizanso kumvera chisoni nkhawa zanu, m'malo abwino, oyipa, kapena kulikonse.

Yesetsani kukusinthani

Wina amene amayesa kusintha zinthu za inu mwina sangakhale bwenzi labwino.

Mnzanu weniweni amamvetsetsa kuti anthu ali ndi umunthu wosiyana, ndipo adzakulandirani nokha. Ngati mupempha chitsogozo pachinthu chomwe mukufuna kusintha, atha kukupatsani chilimbikitso komanso chilimbikitso - koma mwina akuyembekezerani kuti akufunseni m'malo mongokuuzani zomwe muyenera kuchita.

Nenani kuti mukuvutika m'malo ochezera ndipo mukufuna kukhala bwino mukakumana ndi anthu atsopano. Mnzanu wabwino angakufotokozereni kuti mupite kumasewera awo usiku wotsatira kuti akudziwitseni kwa abwenzi ena ochepa pamalo abwino.

Momwe maubwenzi owopsa amakukhudzirani

Mabwenzi oopsa akhoza kukhala ndi tanthauzo lalikulu pabwino- osati kwenikweni. Kucheza ndi anthu omwe sasamala za momwe mukumvera kumatha kukukhudzani ndipo thanzi labwino.

Mukawona zizindikiro zotsatirazi mutakhala nthawi ndi mnzanu, mungafune kuganiziranso zaubwenziwo.

Mumakhala osungulumwa komanso osungulumwa

Kukhala ndi anzanu kuyenera kukulitsa kulumikizana kwanu.

Chibwenzi choopsa chikhoza kukupangitsani kumva kuti mukunyalanyazidwa m'malo mwake. Mumayesetsa kupanga mapulani, koma mumasiyidwa pazochitika zamagulu ndipo mauthenga anu samayankhidwa (pokhapokha, atakhala kuti akufuna china kuchokera kwa inu).

Iwo samawoneka ngati akufuna kuthera nthawi limodzi nanu, ndipo ubwenziwo sungakukhutitseni kapena kumverera ngati bwenzi nkomwe.

Kupsinjika kwanu kumawonjezeka

Kuchepetsa kupsinjika ndi njira imodzi yofunika kwambiri yamaubwenzi olimba. Kuwona anzanu sikungakupangitseni kuti mukhale bwino nthawi zonse, koma mwina mudzawona kusintha.

Mnzanu woopsa, kutali ndi kuthandiza kuthetsa kupsinjika, atha kuwonjezera pamenepo. Amatha kunena kapena kuchita zinthu zomwe zingakukhumudwitseni mukamacheza limodzi, mwachitsanzo.

Ngakhale simukhala nawo, mutha kuthera nthawi yochuluka mukuganiziranso pazomwe mumachita zolakwika, zomwe zingakupangitseni kukhala omangika, okwiya, komanso owopsa.

Simukumva kuthandizidwa

Anzanu enieni amakuthandizani mukawafuna. Zowonadi, chithandizo ichi sichimakhala chogwirika nthawi zonse. Pang'ono ndi pang'ono, ubwenzi umaphatikizapo kumvetsera mwachidwi ndikupereka chitsimikizo cha zowawa ndi zowawa.

Muubwenzi woopsa, simumva kuthandizidwa kapena chifundo. Mumadzimva kuti mukuchepetsedwa akayamba kuthana ndi mavuto anu kapena kunyalanyaza zenizeni ngati sakuyankha mauthenga anu kapena kupempha thandizo.

Mwachidule, sadzakuthandizani mukafuna mnzanu kwambiri.

Kudzidalira kwanu komanso kudzidalira kwanu kumachitika

Munthu wina akakunyozerani mosalekeza ndikukuchitirani zabwino, mutha kuyamba kuvomereza izi ndikusiya kuyembekezera chilichonse chabwino.

Mukayamba kukhulupirira zoponderezedwa ndikuyamba kukayikira zomwe mungakwanitse, kudzidalira kwanu kumatha kuyamba kuchepa.

Mumadziimba mlandu chifukwa cha zomwe amachita

Zotsatira zina zanyengo? Mumayamba kuganiza kuti mukulakwitsa.

Akakukalipirani, mutha kukhulupirira kuti mukuyenera. Mutha kusankha kuti sakuthandizani chifukwa mumapempha thandizo pafupipafupi. Chifukwa chake mumayesetsa kupanga izi mwa iwo ndikulumpha nthawi iliyonse yomwe angafune china chake.

Mutha kumathokoza ngakhale kuti amakhala ndi nthawi iliyonse nanu kuyambira pamenepo, akuwonetsani zolakwika zanu zambiri.

Nthawi zambiri mumamva kuti mulibe malire

Anthu omwe amachita zinthu zoopsa nthawi zambiri amagwiritsa ntchito mphekesera kuti apeze zomwe akufuna. Kuponderezedwa nthawi zambiri kumasiya kuganiza kuti china chake sichili bwino, ngakhale simungadziwe zenizeni.

Mungamve ngati kuti simukudziwa choyenera kunena kapena kuchita. Angakutenge kukuchenjezani kapena kukunyozani poyera, ndikukusiyani osadziwa ngati akunenadi zoona.

Zochita zawo (kapena kuchita mopitilira muyeso) zitha kukupangitsani kusalinganiza bwino. Nthawi zina amaseka zinthu, nthawi zina amafuula. Kusadziwa zomwe zichitike kungakupangitseni kusokonezeka kwambiri simukudziwa momwe mungachitire - kupatula atakhala osamala kwambiri.

Kusakhazikika uku kumatha kulowa m'magulu ena amoyo wanu, kumakusiyani modumpha komanso kukwiya mosavuta.

Anzanu ena amavutika

Ubwenzi umodzi woopsa umatha pang'onopang'ono koma pang'onopang'ono ndikuwononga maubwenzi ena apamtima.

Mukayamba kudzikayikira, mutha kudziwona ngati anzanu osauka. Ngakhale simukuyamba kukayikira, mutha kukhala ovuta kukhulupirira ena. Mutha kudabwa ngati aliyense amakuwonani ngati olakwitsa, osasangalatsa, kapena osagwirizana ndikuyamba kupewa anthu chifukwa chake.

Izi zitha kukulepheretsani kufunafuna chithandizo kuchokera kwa anthu omwe amakukondani, ndikukusiyani nokha komanso kukhala nokha.

Kotero, tsopano chiani?

Mwazindikira kuti muli ndiubwenzi woopsa, koma chotsatira nchiyani?

Muli ndi njira ziwiri zazikulu. Mungafune kuyesa kuyankhula ndi mnzanu poyamba. Ndizotheka kuti sazindikira kuti machitidwe awo ndiosasangalatsa. Ngati mukufuna kupulumutsa ubalewo, ichi chitha kukhala chisankho choyambirira. Chosankha china chimaphatikizapo kutha kwaubwenzi.

Malangizo omwe ali pansipa atha kukuthandizani kuti mutenge njira yotetezeka, yoyenera - njira iliyonse yomwe mungasankhe.

Palibe vuto kufuna kupereka mwayi wachiwiri…

Mwinamwake iwo sanali nthawi zonse poizoni kapena samvetsa momwe zochita zawo zimakukhudzirani. Anthu ena chitani ndikufuna thandizo lowonjezera apa.

Ngati amachita zinthu modzikonda popanda kuonetsa njiru, kuyankhula nawo za momwe mchitidwe wawo ungakhudzire zinthu.

Gwiritsani ntchito ziganizo za "Ine" ndi njira zina zoyankhulirana zopindulitsa poyambitsa zokambirana. Khalani omasuka kufotokoza momwe machitidwe awo amakupangitsirani kumverera ndikuganiza zokhazikitsa malire pazomwe mungachite mtsogolo.

Mwachitsanzo: “Zimandipweteka kwambiri ndikamva anthu akunena za tsitsi langa kapena zovala zanga. M'tsogolomu, chonde musadzanyoze zosankha zanga. "

… Koma sikuti nthawi zonse lingaliro labwino koposa

Ngati ubwenziwo ulibe phindu lililonse kwa inu, ndipo kucheza kwanu sikunathandize aliyense, itha kukhala nthawi yothetsa. Zomwezo zimapitanso kuubwenzi womwe umadutsa kumalo ozunza.

Mutha kuuza munthu wina momwe zochita zake zimakukhudzirani, koma simungapangitse kuti asinthe. Ayenera kuchita izi paokha, ndipo sikuti aliyense ndi wofunitsitsa kuchita khama.

Amatha kulonjeza kuti asintha ndikukuchitirani bwino kwakanthawi. Koma ngati ayambanso kukunyozani kapena kubwerera ku mitundu ina ya machitidwe owopsa, ndibwino kuti mupitirire.

Tengani malo anu

Ngati mumakhala nthawi yayitali mumalakalaka kuti mnzanu akuchitireni zabwino, bwanji osapumira kwa iwo kwakanthawi ndikuwona zosintha?

Kutalikirana ndiubwenzi kumatha kukuthandizani kukonza momwe mukumvera ndikumveketsa bwino zomwe mungachite. Muthanso kuwona momwe moyo wanu umawonekera popanda munthu ameneyo.

Mwinanso zinthu zimasintha bwino ndipo mumakhala bwino mukakhala kuti simuyenera kuda nkhawa kuti mudzawaone. Ngati ndi choncho, ichi ndi chifukwa champhamvu choganizira zothetsa chibwenzicho.

Khazikitsani malire

Ngati mukufuna kuyesa kusunga ubalewo, malire ndiofunikira.

Onetsani momveka bwino kuti simulandira machitidwe ena, monga kufuula, kunama, miseche, kapena kutuluka m'mapulani osafotokozedwa.

Mutha kulingalira zofotokozera momwe izi zimakukhudzirani komanso momwe mungayankhire.

Mwachitsanzo: "Sindimakonda kuponderezedwa, chifukwa chake ngati mupitiliza kuchita nthabwala ndi ndalama zanga, sitingathe kucheza."

Yesetsani kusanachitike

Mukadziwa kuti muyenera kuthetsa chibwenzicho, adziwitseni.

Kulankhula izi pamaso pamunthu nthawi zambiri kumakhala bwino. Sankhani malo pagulu omwe amakhalanso ndi chinsinsi, ngati paki kapena malo ena osalowerera ndale. Ngati simukumva kukhala otetezeka, kuwaimbira foni kapena kuwalembera kalata kungathandizenso. Ingoyesani kupewa kuthetsa chibwenzi ndi meseji, ngati zingatheke.

Asanakambirane, lembani zomwe mukufuna kunena. Kodi mungafotokozere zifukwa zanu kapena kungonena kuti ubwenziwo sukukuthandizaninso? Kukhazikitsa malingaliro anu ndikuchita zomwe zisanachitike (nokha kapena ndi munthu amene mumamukhulupirira) kumatha kukulitsa chidaliro chanu ndikuthandizani kutsatira zomwe mwasankha.

Khalani achindunji

Ngakhale mulingo wazomwe mungapereke ungadalire momwe zinthu ziliri kapena mbiri yanu ndi munthu ameneyo, musawasiye aliwonse osamvetsetsa zaubwenzi wanu.

Mwina safuna kuthetsa ubwenziwo, choncho akhoza kukudulitsani kapena kuyesa kusintha zinthuzo kuti muzidziona kuti ndinu olakwa. Yesetsani kusachitapo kanthu, ngakhale atakukwiyirani kapena mwankhanza. Bwerezani zomwe mwasankha modekha (koma molimba) ndikuchokani.

Ganizirani mosamala musanayanjanenso

Ngati mwaganiza zodula kulumikizana, khulupirirani chibadwa chanu ndipo pewani kufikira kapena kuyankha kuyesera kukuyankhulani.

Pakapita nthawi, mungaganize za nthawi zabwino zomwe mudagawana ndikudzifunsa ngati zasintha. Kumbukirani chifukwa chake mudathetsa chibwenzi. Kuyambanso kuyambiranso kungakupangitseni kukhala omvetsa chisoni, choncho ndibwino kuti mupite nthawi musanaganize zobwezeretsanso.

Anthu angathe sinthani, ndipo ngati mnzanu akuyesetsa kupepesa komwe kukuwoneka kowona mtima, mungayesenso kuyambiranso. Ingoyendetsani pang'onopang'ono kuti mudziteteze.

Tsegulani kwa ena

Kukhala pachibwenzi choopsa kumatha kukupangitsani kuchita manyazi, kusokonezeka, kapena kusakhulupirira ena. Ngati mwadzipatula kwa anzanu, mungakhale ndi zovuta kulumikizanso.

Muyenera kuti muli ndi anzanu abwino omwe amafunikiradi kuthandizira. Kuyesetsa kuwapeza ndi kuwafotokozera zomwe zitha kukuthandizani kuti mupezenso mabwenzi abwino, omwe angakuthandizeni kuchira.

Bwanji ngati tili ndi anzathu onse?

Ngati inu ndi mnzanu woopsa muli ndi anzanu, mungakhale ndi nkhawa momwe angachitire. Musaganize kuti muyenera kupereka zambiri kuposa momwe mumamvera. Atha kukhala kuti akudziwa kale za vutoli.

Mutha kungonena kuti, "Ndasankha kuthetsa chibwenzicho chifukwa chidasokoneza thanzi langa," kapena china chake.

Dzisamalire

Mukathetsa chibwenzi choopsa, khalani ndi nthawi yolingalira za inu nokha.

Mudadutsa china chake chowawa komanso chovuta, motero ndizomveka bwino kuti mufunike nthawi kuti muchiritse.

Yesetsani kudzisamalira nokha mwa:

• kucheza ndi okondedwa athu
• kupanga nthawi yogona bwino
• kuyang'ana kwambiri zosangalatsa zomwe mumakonda

Dzazani moyo wanu ndi zinthu zabwino ndikufunsani thandizo ngati mukufuna.

Mfundo yofunika

Kuthetsa chibwenzi chakupha kungakhale kovuta, ndipo ndichabwinobwino kufuna thandizo lowonjezera mbali iliyonse ya njirayi. Wothandizira atha kukuthandizani kuti muyambe kuwunika momwe mumamvera zaubwenziwo ndikuwona njira zothetsera kapena kukonza.

Crystal Raypole adagwirapo ntchito ngati wolemba komanso mkonzi wa GoodTherapy. Magawo ake achidwi akuphatikiza zilankhulo ndi mabuku aku Asia, kumasulira kwachijapani, kuphika, sayansi yachilengedwe, chiyembekezo chogonana, komanso thanzi lamaganizidwe. Makamaka, akudzipereka kuthandiza kuchepetsa manyazi pazokhudza matenda amisala.