Ballet Anandithandizanso Kuyanjananso Ndi Thupi Langa Nditagwiriridwa — Tsopano Ndikuthandiza Ena Kuchita Chimodzimodzi

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Kufotokozera zomwe kuvina kumatanthauza kwa ine ndizovuta chifukwa sindikutsimikiza kuti zitha kufotokozedwa m'mawu. Ndakhala wovina pafupifupi zaka 28. Zinayambira ngati njira yopangira zomwe zidandipatsa mwayi woti ndikhale wangwiro. Lero, ndizochulukirapo kuposa pamenepo. Sizongokhala zosangalatsa, ntchito, kapena ntchito. Ndizofunikira. Chidzakhala chokhumba changa chachikulu mpaka tsiku lomwe ndidzamwalire-ndipo kuti ndifotokoze chifukwa chake, ndiyenera kubwerera ku October 29, 2012.

Chomwe chimandisangalatsa kwambiri ndi momwe ndimasangalalira. Ndinatsala pang'ono kusamukira m'nyumba yatsopano, ndinali nditangolandiridwa ku sukulu kuti ndikamalize digiri yanga yophunzitsa, ndipo ndinali pafupi kupita kukawayesa mosangalatsa kanema wanyimbo. Zinthu zodabwitsa zonsezi zinali kuchitika m'moyo wanga. Kenako zonse zinafika pothina pamene mlendo anandiukira ndi kundigwirira m'nkhalango kunja kwa nyumba yanga ku Baltimore.

Kumenyedwako kunali kwachiwembu kuyambira pomwe ndidamenyedwa pamutu ndipo sindimadziwa pomwe zidachitika. Koma sindinali wokhoza kudziwa kuti adandimenya, kundibera, ndikukodza ndi kulavuliridwa mkati mwa chiwawa. Nditafika, mathalauza anga adandilumikiza ndi mwendo umodzi, thupi langa lidakutidwa ndi zokanda, ndikukhala ndi matope tsitsi langa. Koma atazindikira zomwe zidachitika, kapena kani zomwe zidachitika ku ine, kumverera koyamba komwe ndinali nako kunali kwamanyazi komanso manyazi-ndipo ndichinthu chomwe ndidakhala nacho kwa nthawi yayitali.

Ndinakanena za kugwiriridwa kwa apolisi a Baltimore, ndinamaliza zida zogwiririra, ndipo ndinapereka zonse zomwe ndinali nazo pa ine kukhala umboni. Koma kudzifufuza komweko kunali kusokoneza bwino chilungamo. Ndinayesetsa momwe ndingathere kuti ndikhale woganiza bwino munthawi yonseyi, koma palibe chomwe chikanandikonzekeretsa kusaganizirako komwe ndidalandira. Ngakhale nditafotokoza mobwerezabwereza za zovutazo mobwerezabwereza, oyang'anira zamalamulo sanathe kusankha ngati apita patsogolo ndikufufuza ngati kugwiririra kapena kuba - ndipo pamapeto pake anasiya kufunafuna kwathunthu.

Patha zaka zisanu kuchokera tsiku limenelo. Ndipo pamwamba pa komabe posadziwa yemwe adandilakwira, sindikudziwa ngati chida changa chogwiririra chidayesedwapo. Panthawiyo, ndimamva ngati anditenga ngati nthabwala. Ndinkamva ngati akusekedwa osanditenga. Liwu lonse lomwe ndidalandira linali "Chifukwa chiyani inu kuti izi zichitike?"

Pamene ndinaganiza kuti moyo wanga sungathenso kutha, ndinamva kuti kugwiriridwa kwanga kunapangitsa kuti ndikhale ndi pakati. Ndinkadziwa kuti ndinkafuna kuchotsa mimba, koma maganizo oti ndichotse ndekha ndinkachita mantha kwambiri. Ubale Wokonzekera umafuna kuti mubwere ndi munthu wina kuti adzakusamalirani pambuyo pa ndondomekoyi, komabe palibe aliyense m'banja langa kapena anzanga amene adadzipangira ine.

Kenako ndinalowa kwa PP ndekha ndikulira ndikuwapempha kuti andilole ndidutse. Podziwa momwe zinthu zilili, adanditsimikizira kuti asunga nthawi yanga yonse ndipo akhala akundithandiza. Adandipezera taxi ndikuonetsetsa kuti ndafika kunyumba bwino. (Zogwirizana: Momwe Kukonzekera Kwawo Kukhwima Kungakhudzire Thanzi La Akazi)

Nditagona pabedi langa usiku womwewo, ndidazindikira kuti ndakhala limodzi la masiku ovuta kwambiri pamoyo wanga kudalira anthu omwe sindikuwadziwa kwathunthu kuti azindithandiza. Ndinadzazidwa ndi kunyansidwa ndipo ndinadzimva ngati ndine wolemetsa kwa wina aliyense chifukwa cha zomwe anandichitira. Pambuyo pake ndidazindikira kuti ndizomwe chikhalidwe chogwiririra.

M’masiku otsatira, ndinalola manyazi anga ndi manyazi kundiwononga, ndinagwa m’kupsinjika maganizo kumene kunandipangitsa kumwa, kugwiritsira ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo, ndi chisembwere. Wopulumuka aliyense amasamalira zoopsa zake m'njira zosiyanasiyana; mwa ine, ndimalola kuti ndigwiritsidwe ntchito ndipo ndimayang'ana zochitika zomwe zingathetse mavuto anga chifukwa sindinkafunanso kudzakhala mdziko lino lapansi.

Zimenezi zinatha pafupifupi miyezi isanu ndi itatu mpaka pamene ndinafika pamene ndinadziŵa kuti ndinafunikira kusintha. Ndinazindikira kuti ndinalibe nthawi yoti ndikhale pansi ndikumva ululu uwu. Ndinalibe nthawi yonena nkhani yanga mobwerezabwereza mpaka wina pamapeto pake anamva ine. Ndidadziwa kuti ndikufunika china chake chondithandizira kuti ndibwererenso m'chikondi ndi ine ndekha - kuti ndidutse malingaliro omwe ndinali nawo pathupi langa. Umu ndi momwe kuvina kunabwereranso m'moyo wanga. Ndinadziwa kuti ndiyenera kutembenukira pamenepo kuti ndikhale ndi chidaliro komanso koposa zonse, kuti ndiphunzire kudzimva kuti ndine wotetezeka.

Ndiye ndinabwerera ku class. Sindinauze mphunzitsi wanga kapena anzanga za kuukirako chifukwa ndinkafuna kukhala kumalo kumene kunalibenso. kuti mtsikana. Monga wovina wakale, ndimadziwanso kuti ngati ndichita izi, ndiyenera kulola aphunzitsi anga kuti andiyike kuti andisinthe mawonekedwe anga. Panthawi imeneyo ndimayenera kuiwala kuti ndinali wozunzidwa ndikumulola munthuyo kulowa m'malo mwanga, zomwe ndizomwe ndinachita.

Pang'onopang'ono, koma zowonadi, ndinayambanso kumva kulumikizana ndi thupi langa. Kuyang'ana thupi langa pagalasi masiku ambiri, kuyamikira mawonekedwe anga ndikulola munthu wina kuwongolera thupi langa mwanjira imeneyi kunayamba kundithandiza kuti ndidziwikenso. Koma chofunika kwambiri n’chakuti, zinayamba kundithandiza kupirira ndiponso kuvomereza kumenyedwa kwanga, zomwe zinali mbali yaikulu ya kupita patsogolo kwanga. (Zokhudzana: Momwe Kusambira Kunandithandizira Kuchira Kugwiriridwa)

Ndidadzipeza ndekha ndikufuna kugwiritsa ntchito mayendedwe ngati njira yondithandizira kuti ndichiritse, koma sindinapeze chilichonse kunjaku komwe kumayang'ana pa izo. Monga wozunzidwa, mutha kukhala ndi mwayi wopita kumagulu kapena kuchipatala koma panalibe pakati. Panalibe pulogalamu yokhudzana ndi zochitika kunja uko yomwe ingakutengereni njira kuti mudziphunzitsenso nokha kudzisamalira, kudzikonda nokha, kapena njira zodzimvera ngati mlendo pakhungu lanu.

Ndi momwe Ballet After Dark adabadwa. Linapangidwa kuti lisinthe nkhope zamanyazi ndikuthandizira iwo omwe apulumuka zipsinjo zakugonana kuti athe kuthana ndi zovuta zomwe zidachitika pambuyo pa zoopsa. Ndi malo otetezeka omwe amapezeka mosavuta kwa amayi amitundu yonse, mawonekedwe, makulidwe, ndi makulidwe, kuwathandiza kukonza, kumanganso, ndikubwezeretsanso miyoyo yawo pamlingo uliwonse wamavuto.

Pakali pano, ndimakhala ndi maphunziro mwezi uliwonse kwa opulumuka ndipo ndimapereka makalasi ena angapo, kuphatikizapo maphunziro apadera, masewera olimbitsa thupi, kupewa kuvulala, ndi kutambasula minofu. Chiyambireni pulogalamuyi, ndakhala ndi azimayi ochokera ku London kupita ku Tanzania kuti andifikire, kundifunsa ngati ndikufuna kuyendera kapena ngati pali mapulogalamu ofanana ndi omwe ndingawapangire. Tsoka ilo, palibe. Ichi ndichifukwa chake ndikugwira ntchito molimbika kupanga maukonde apadziko lonse lapansi a opulumuka omwe akugwiritsa ntchito ballet ngati gawo lotibweretsera tonse pamodzi.

Ballet Pambuyo pa Mdima imadutsa malo ena ovina kapena malo omwe mumapita kuti mukhale wathanzi komanso wathanzi. Ndizofalitsa uthenga kuti mutha kubwereranso pamwamba-kuti mutha kukhala ndi moyo wolimba, opatsidwa mphamvu, olimba mtima, olimba mtima, komanso achigololo-ndikuti ngakhale mutha kukhala zonsezi, muyenera gwirani ntchitoyi. Ndipamene timalowa. Kuti tikukakamizeni, komanso kuti ntchitoyi ikhale yosavuta. (Zogwirizana: Momwe Gulu la #MeToo Likufalitsira Kudziwitsa Anthu Zokhudza Kugonana)

Chofunika kwambiri, ndikufuna kuti amayi (ndi amuna) adziwe kuti ngakhale ndidachira ndekha, simukufunika kutero. Ngati mulibe abale ndi abwenzi omwe amakuthandizirani, dziwani kuti ndili nawo ndipo mutha kufikira ine ndikugawana zambiri kapena zochepa momwe mungafunire. Opulumuka akuyenera kudziwa kuti ali ndi anzawo omwe angawateteze kwa iwo omwe amakhulupirira kuti ndi zinthu zoti zigwiritsidwe ntchito - ndipo ndizomwe Ballet After Dark wabwera.

Lero, m'modzi mwa akazi asanu adzagwiriridwa nthawi inayake m'miyoyo yawo, ndipo m'modzi yekha mwa atatu mwa iwo ndiomwe adzafotokozere. Ino ndi nthawi yoti anthu amvetsetse kuti kupewa ndi chiyembekezo kuti kutha nkhanza zogonana kudzatitengera tonse, kugwira ntchito limodzi m'njira zazikulu ndi zazing'ono, kuti tikhale ndi chikhalidwe chachitetezo.

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