Momwe Mungadziwire ndi Kuchita Nawo Khalidwe Lopwetekedwa

Zamkati

• Kodi chikuwoneka bwanji?
• Kupewa udindo
• Osayang'ana mayankho omwe angakhalepo
• Kukhala wopanda mphamvu
• Kuyankhula zoyipa komanso kudziwononga
• Kusadzidalira
• Kukhumudwa, kukwiya, ndi kuipidwa
• Zimachokera kuti?
• Zovuta zakale
• Kusakhulupirika
• Kudalira
• Kupondereza
• Ndingayankhe bwanji?
• Pewani kulemba
• Khazikitsani malire
• Perekani thandizo kupeza mayankho
• Perekani chilimbikitso ndi kutsimikizika
• Ganizirani komwe akuchokera
• Bwanji ngati ndine amene ndili ndi malingaliro okhudzidwa?
• Mfundo yofunika

Timaphatikizapo zinthu zomwe timaganiza kuti ndizothandiza kwa owerenga athu. Ngati mutagula maulalo omwe ali patsamba lino, titha kupeza ndalama zochepa. Nayi njira yathu.

Kodi mumadziwa winawake yemwe amaoneka ngati wovutikira pafupifupi nthawi zonse? Ndizotheka kuti ali ndi malingaliro okhudzidwa, omwe nthawi zina amatchedwa matenda amisala kapena ovutitsidwa.

Malingaliro a wozunzidwayo amakhala pazikhulupiriro zitatu izi:

• Zinthu zoipa zimachitika ndipo zimapitirizabe kuchitika.
• Anthu ena kapena mikhalidwe ndiyomwe ili ndi vuto.
• Khama lililonse lokhazikitsa kusintha lidzalephera, chifukwa chake palibe chifukwa choyesera.

Lingaliro la malingaliro a wozunzidwayo limaponyedwa mozungulira kwambiri pachikhalidwe cha pop komanso kukambirana kosafunikira kuti afotokozere anthu omwe akuwoneka kuti akunyalanyaza ndikukakamiza ena.

Si nthawi yovomerezeka yamankhwala. M'malo mwake, akatswiri ambiri azaumoyo amapewa izi chifukwa cha manyazi omwe amakhala mozungulira.

Anthu omwe amadzimva kuti atsekerezedwa nthawi zambiri chitani Fotokozerani zambiri zosasamala, koma ndikofunikira kuzindikira kuwawa kwakukulu ndi kukhumudwa nthawi zambiri kumalimbikitsa malingaliro awa.

Kodi chikuwoneka bwanji?

Vicki Botnick, wololeza wololera komanso wothandizira mabanja (LMFT) ku Tarzana, California, akufotokoza kuti anthu amadziwika kuti ndi omwe amachitidwa chipongwe "akakhulupirira kuti wina aliyense awachititsa mavuto awo ndipo palibe chomwe angachite chomwe chingasinthe."

Izi zimawapangitsa kukhala osatetezeka, zomwe zitha kubweretsa zovuta komanso machitidwe. Nazi zina mwa izi.

Kupewa udindo

Chizindikiro chachikulu, Botnick akuwonetsa, ndikusowa choyankha.

Izi zitha kuphatikiza:

• kuyimba mlandu kwina
• kupereka zifukwa
• osatenga udindo
• kuthana ndi zovuta zambiri pamoyo wathu "Sikulakwa kwanga"

Zinthu zoipa zimachitikadi, nthawi zambiri kwa anthu omwe sanachitepo kanthu kuti awayenerere. Ndizomveka kuti anthu omwe amakumana ndi zovuta pambuyo pake amayamba kukhulupirira kuti dziko latsala pang'ono kuwapeza.

Koma zochitika zambiri chitani kuphatikiza maudindo osiyanasiyana.

Mwachitsanzo, taganizirani za kutha kwa ntchito. Ndizowona kuti anthu ena amachotsedwa ntchito popanda zifukwa zomveka. Zimakhalanso choncho kuti zifukwa zina zimayambitsa.

Wina amene saganizira zifukwa izi sangaphunzire kapena kukula kuchokera pazochitikazo ndipo atha kukumananso ndi zomwezo.

Osayang'ana mayankho omwe angakhalepo

Sikuti mavuto onse amakhala osalamulirika, ngakhale atakhala momwemo poyamba. Nthawi zambiri, pamakhala zochepa zazing'ono zomwe zingayambitse kusintha.

Anthu omwe amachokera kumalo ozunzidwa amatha kuwonetsa chidwi chofuna kusintha. Amatha kukana thandizo, ndipo zitha kuwoneka ngati akungofuna kudzimvera chisoni.

Kuwononga nthawi pang'ono mukukumana ndi mavuto sizowopsa. Izi zitha kuthandiza kuzindikira ndikuwongolera zomwe zikupweteketsa mtima.

Koma nthawi imeneyi iyenera kukhala ndi mathero otsimikizika. Pambuyo pake, ndizothandiza kwambiri kuyamba kugwira ntchito kuti muchiritse ndikusintha.

Kukhala wopanda mphamvu

Anthu ambiri omwe amadzimva kukhala ozunzidwa amakhulupirira kuti alibe mphamvu zothetsera mavuto awo. Sakusangalala kumva kuponderezedwa ndipo angakonde kuti zinthu ziyende bwino.

Koma moyo ukupitilizabe kuponyera mikhalidwe kwa iwo, malinga ndi malingaliro awo, sangathe kuchita chilichonse kuti apambane kapena kuthawa.

"Ndikofunika kukumbukira kusiyana pakati pa" osafuna "ndi" osakhoza, "akutero Botnick. Amalongosola kuti anthu ena omwe amadzimva ngati ozunzidwa amasankha mosamala kukhumudwitsa ena ndikukhumudwa.

Koma pochita, nthawi zambiri amagwira ntchito ndi anthu omwe akumva kuwawa kwam'mutu komwe kumapangitsa kusintha kuwoneka kosatheka.

Kuyankhula zoyipa komanso kudziwononga

Anthu omwe amakhala ndi malingaliro okhudzidwa atha kusinthitsa mauthenga olakwika omwe akukumana ndi zovuta zomwe amakumana nazo.

Kumva kuti akuzunzidwa kumatha kuthandizira pazikhulupiriro monga:

• "Zoipa zonse zimandigwera."
• "Sindingathe kuchita chilichonse, bwanji osayesa?"
• "Ndiyenera zoipa zomwe zimandigwera."
• Palibe amene amasamala za ine. ”

Vuto lililonse latsopano limatha kulimbikitsa malingaliro osathandizawa mpaka atakhazikika mwamphamvu mkati mwawo. Popita nthawi, kudzilankhulira koyipa kumatha kuwononga kukhazikika, zomwe zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kubwereranso kuzovuta ndikuchira.

Kuyankhula zoyipa nthawi zambiri kumayenderana ndi kudziwononga. Anthu omwe amakhulupirira kuti zoyankhula zawo nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi nthawi yosavutikira. Ngati zonena zawozo ndizolakwika, atha kuwononga mosazindikira zoyesayesa zilizonse zomwe angachite kuti asinthe.

Kusadzidalira

Anthu omwe amadziona ngati ozunzidwa atha kulimbana ndi kudzidalira komanso kudzidalira. Izi zitha kupangitsa kuti kuzunzidwa kukukulirakulira.

Amatha kuganiza kuti, "sindili wanzeru zokwanira kuti ndingapeze ntchito yabwinoko" kapena "ndilibe luso lokwanira kuti ndichite bwino." Maganizo awa angawalepheretse kuyesa kukulitsa maluso awo kapena kuzindikira mphamvu zatsopano zomwe zingawathandize kukwaniritsa zolinga zawo.

Iwo omwe amayesetsa kuchitira zomwe akufuna ndikulephera atha kudziona kuti ndiomwe akuvutikanso. Magalasi olakwika omwe amadziona nawo atha kupangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kuwona china chilichonse.

Kukhumudwa, kukwiya, ndi kuipidwa

Malingaliro a ozunzidwa amatha kuwononga thanzi lamalingaliro.

Anthu omwe ali ndi malingaliro awa amatha kumva:

• wokhumudwitsidwa komanso wokwiya ndi dziko lomwe likuwoneka kuti likuwatsutsa
• opanda chiyembekezo pa mikhalidwe yawo osasintha
• kupweteka pamene amakhulupirira okondedwa awo sasamala
• okwiya ndi anthu omwe amawoneka achimwemwe komanso opambana

Zoterezi zimatha kulemetsa anthu omwe amakhulupirira kuti nthawi zonse azunzidwa, kumangirira ndikusokonekera pomwe iwo sangalankhulidwe. Popita nthawi, malingaliro awa atha kuthandiza kuti:

• kupsa mtima
• kukhumudwa
• kudzipatula
• kusungulumwa

Zimachokera kuti?

Ochepa kwambiri - ngati alipo - anthu amakhala ndi malingaliro okhudzidwa chifukwa choti angathe. Nthawi zambiri imakhala yozika muzinthu zingapo.

Zovuta zakale

Kwa akunja, wina yemwe ali ndi malingaliro okhudzidwa angawoneke kukhala wopitilira muyeso. Koma malingaliro awa nthawi zambiri amayamba poyankha kuzunzidwa koona.

Itha kukhala njira yothanirana ndi nkhanza kapena zoopsa. Kukumana ndi zovuta nthawi ndi nthawi kumatha kupanga zotsatirazi.

Sikuti aliyense amene akukumana ndi zoopsa amapitilizabe kukhala ndi malingaliro ozunzidwa, koma anthu amatenga zovuta m'njira zosiyanasiyana. Kupweteka m'maganizo kumatha kusokoneza kuwongolera kwa munthu, kumapangitsa kudzimva kukhala wopanda thandizo mpaka atadzimva kuti atsekerezedwa ndikusiya.

Kusakhulupirika

Kusakhulupirika, makamaka kuperekedwa mobwerezabwereza, kumathandizanso kuti anthu azimva ngati akuvutitsidwa ndipo zimawavuta kukhulupirira aliyense.

Ngati amene amakusamalirani kwambiri, mwachitsanzo, sanatsatire kangapo kudzipereka kwanu kwa inu muli mwana, mungakhale ndi nthawi yovuta kudalira ena munthawi imeneyi.

Kudalira

Malingaliro awa amathanso kukulira limodzi ndi kudalira. Munthu wodalira ena atha kupereka zolinga zawo kuti athandizire mnzake.

Zotsatira zake, atha kukhala okhumudwa komanso okhumudwa chifukwa chosapeza zomwe amafunikira, osazindikira udindo wawo.

Kupondereza

Anthu ena omwe amatenga nawo mbali angawoneke ngati akusangalala ndi kudzudzula anzawo pamavuto omwe amawayambitsa, kuthamangitsa ena ndikupangitsa kuti ena azidziona ngati olakwa, kapena kupezerera ena kuti awachitire chifundo ndi kuwasamalira.

Koma, Botnick akuwonetsa, mikhalidwe yoopsa ngati iyi imatha kulumikizidwa ndimatenda amisala.

Ndingayankhe bwanji?

Kungakhale kovuta kucheza ndi munthu yemwe nthawi zonse amadziona ngati wovutitsidwa. Amatha kukana kutenga nawo mbali pazolakwa zawo ndikudzudzula wina aliyense zikavuta. Nthawi zonse amatha kudziderera.

Koma kumbukirani kuti anthu ambiri omwe ali ndi malingaliro awa adakumana ndi zovuta kapena zopweteka pamoyo wawo.

Izi sizikutanthauza kuti muyenera kukhala ndi udindo wawo kapena kuvomereza zoneneza ndi mlandu. Koma yesetsani kulola kumvera ena chisoni kukutsogolereni poyankha kwanu.

Pewani kulemba

Zolemba nthawi zambiri sizothandiza. "Wovulalayo" ndi dzina loimbidwa kwambiri. Ndibwino kupewa kunena za wina ngati wozunzidwa kapena kunena kuti akuchita ngati wovutitsidwa.

M'malo mwake, yesani (mwachifundo) kuti mukhale ndi machitidwe kapena malingaliro omwe mumawawona, monga:

• kudandaula
• kusuntha cholakwa
• osalandira udindo
• kumverera kutsogozedwa kapena kusowa mphamvu
• kumva kuti palibe chomwe chimapangitsa kusiyana

Ndizotheka kuti kuyambitsa kukambirana kumatha kuwapatsa mwayi wofotokozera zakukhosi kwawo mwanjira yopindulitsa.

Khazikitsani malire

Manyazi ena pamalingaliro amunthu wokhudzidwa amakhudzana ndi momwe anthu nthawi zina amaimba anzawo mlandu pamavuto kapena kuwadzudzula-kuwayendetsa pa zinthu zomwe sizinachitike.

"Mutha kumadzimva kuti mukumuneneza nthawi zonse, ngati kuti mukuyenda pamahelles, kapena muyenera kupepesa pazinthu zomwe mumadzimva kuti nonse muli ndiudindo," akutero Botnick.

Nthawi zambiri zimakhala zovuta kuthandiza kapena kuthandiza munthu yemwe malingaliro ake amawoneka kuti akusiyana kwambiri ndi zenizeni.

Ngati akuwoneka kuti akukuweruzani kapena kukunenezani inuyo ndi ena, kuwachepetsa malire kungathandize, Botnick akupereka lingaliro ili: "Apezereni momwe mungathere chifukwa cha kusalabadira kwawo, ndipo apatseni udindo wawo."

Muthabe kukhala achifundo ndikusamalira wina ngakhale mumafunika kutenga danga kwa iwo nthawi zina.

Perekani thandizo kupeza mayankho

Mungafune kuteteza wokondedwa wanu ku zinthu zomwe angamve kuti akuzunzidwa kwambiri. Koma izi zitha kukuwonongerani malingaliro anu ndipo zitha kukulitsa mkhalidwewo.

Njira yabwinoko ingakhale kupereka thandizo (osawakonzera chilichonse). Mungathe kuchita izi motere:

1. Vomerezani chikhulupiriro chawo kuti sangachite chilichonse pazochitikazo.
2. Funsani zomwe iwo mungatero chitani ngati akanakhala ndi mphamvu yochita zinazake.
3. Athandizeni kulingalira njira zomwe angakwaniritsire cholingacho.

Mwachitsanzo: “Ndikudziwa zikuwoneka kuti palibe amene akufuna kukulembani ntchito. Izi ziyenera kukhala zokhumudwitsa kwenikweni. Kodi ntchito yanu yabwino ikuwoneka bwanji? ”

Kutengera mayankho awo, mutha kuwalimbikitsa kuti afutukule kapena kuchepetsako kusaka kwawo, lingalirani zamakampani osiyanasiyana, kapena yesani madera ena.

M'malo mowalangiza mwachindunji, kupanga malingaliro apadera, kapena kuthetsa mavutowo, mukuwathandiza kuzindikira kuti atha kukhala ndi zida zothetsera okha.

Perekani chilimbikitso ndi kutsimikizika

Chifundo chanu komanso chilimbikitso chanu sizingapangitse kuti musinthe posachedwa, komabe atha kusintha.

Yesani:

• kuloza zinthu zomwe amachita bwino
• posonyeza kupambana kwawo
• kuwakumbutsa za chikondi chanu
• kutsimikizira momwe akumvera

Anthu omwe alibe maukonde olimba othandizira komanso zida zowathandizira kuthana ndi zoopsa atha kukhala ndi nthawi yovuta kuthana ndi nkhawa, motero kulimbikitsa wokondedwa wanu kuti alankhule ndi othandizira kungathandizenso.

Ganizirani komwe akuchokera

Anthu omwe ali ndi malingaliro okhudzidwa atha:

• osowa chiyembekezo
• amakhulupirira kuti alibe chithandizo
• kudziimba mlandu
• kusadzidalira
• osadzidalira
• kulimbana ndi kukhumudwa ndi PTSD

Maganizo ovutawa ndi zokumana nazo zimatha kukulitsa kukhumudwa, ndikupangitsa malingaliro amunthu wovutirapo kukhala ovuta kuthana nawo.

Kukhala ndi malingaliro owonongedwa sikuyikira kumbuyo machitidwe oyipa. Ndikofunika kudziikira malire. Komanso mvetsetsani kuti pakhoza kukhala zambiri zomwe zikuchitika kuposa kungofuna chidwi.

Bwanji ngati ndine amene ndili ndi malingaliro okhudzidwa?

"Kumva kuvulala komanso kuvulala nthawi ndi nthawi kumawonetsa kuti ndife ofunika," akutero Botnick.

Koma ngati mukukhulupirira kuti nthawi zonse mumakumana ndi mavuto, dziko lapansi lakuchitirani zachilungamo, kapena palibe chomwe chalakwika ndi vuto lanu, kuyankhula ndi wothandizira kungakuthandizeni kuzindikira zina zomwe zingachitike.

Ndibwino kuyankhula ndi katswiri wophunzitsidwa ngati mwakumana ndi nkhanza kapena zoopsa zina. Ngakhale kupwetekedwa mtima kosathandizidwa kumatha kupangitsa kuti anthu azizunza, kungathandizenso:

• kukhumudwa
• nkhani zaubwenzi
• zizindikiro zingapo zakuthupi ndi zamaganizidwe

Katswiri atha kukuthandizani:

• fufuzani zomwe zimayambitsa malingaliro a omwe akuzunzidwa
• yesetsani kudzimvera chisoni
• kuzindikira zosowa ndi zolinga zanu
• pangani ndondomeko yokwaniritsira zolinga
• fufuzani zifukwa zomwe zimachititsa kumva kuti mulibe mphamvu

Buku lodzithandizira lingaperekenso malangizo, malinga ndi Botnick, yemwe amalimbikitsa "Kukoka Zingwe Zanu."

Mfundo yofunika

Malingaliro okhudzidwa angakhale ovuta ndikupanga zovuta, kwa iwo omwe amakhala nawo komanso kwa anthu amoyo wawo. Koma itha kugonjetsedwa ndi chithandizo cha othandizira, komanso chifundo chachikulu komanso kudzimvera chisoni.

Crystal Raypole adagwirapo ntchito ngati wolemba komanso mkonzi wa GoodTherapy. Magawo ake achidwi akuphatikiza zilankhulo ndi mabuku aku Asia, kumasulira kwachijapani, kuphika, sayansi yachilengedwe, chiyembekezo chogonana, komanso thanzi lamaganizidwe. Makamaka, akudzipereka kuthandiza kuchepetsa manyazi pazokhudza matenda amisala.