Izi Ndi Zomwe Munganene Ngati Bwenzi Lanu Sili 'Kuchira Posachedwa'

Zamkati

• "Muzimva bwino" ndicholinga chofunikira. Kwa anthu ambiri omwe alibe matenda a Ehlers-Danlos kapena matenda ena osachiritsika, ndizovuta kuganiza kuti sindikhala bwino.
• Koma kulumala kwanga ndi kwa moyo wanga wonse - {textend} sizili konse ngati kuchira chimfine kapena mwendo wosweka. "Muzimva bwino," ndiye, sizikunena zowona.
• Uthengawu ndiwofala kwambiri kotero kuti ndili mwana, ndimakhulupirira kuti ndikadzakula ndidzakhala wamatsenga.
• Kulandira malire amenewo, komabe, ndi chisoni kwa ambiri a ife. Koma ndi imodzi yomwe imapangidwa kukhala yosavuta tikakhala ndi anzathu ndi abale athu otithandizira.
• Anthu ambiri amakhulupirira kuti njira yabwino kwambiri yothandizira ndi 'kuthetsa' vutoli, osandifunsa kuti ndikufunika chiyani kwa iwo koyambirira.
• Ngati mukudabwa zomwe munganene mnzanu samva bwino, yambani kucheza nawo (osati pa iwo)
• Funso ili - {textend} “ukufuna chiyani kwa ine?” - {textend} ndi imodzi yomwe tonse titha kupindula mwa kufunsana pafupipafupi.

Nthawi zina "kumva bwino" sizimveka.

Thanzi ndi thanzi zimakhudza moyo wa aliyense mosiyana. Iyi ndi nkhani ya munthu m'modzi.

Miyezi ingapo yapitayo, pomwe mpweya wozizira udafika ku Boston koyambirira kwa kugwa, ndidayamba kumva zisonyezo zowopsa zamatenda amtundu wanga, Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (EDS).

Zowawa pathupi panga, makamaka m'malo mwanga. Kutopa komwe nthawi zina kunali kwadzidzidzi komanso kovuta kwambiri kuti ndimatha kugona ngakhale nditapuma maola 10 opuma usiku watha. Mavuto azidziwitso omwe adandipangitsa kuti ndizivutika kukumbukira zinthu zofunika, monga malamulo amseu ndi momwe mungatumizire imelo.

Ndinali kuuza mnzanga za izi ndipo anati, "Ndikukhulupirira mupeza bwino posachedwa!"

"Muzimva bwino" ndicholinga chofunikira. Kwa anthu ambiri omwe alibe matenda a Ehlers-Danlos kapena matenda ena osachiritsika, ndizovuta kuganiza kuti sindikhala bwino.

EDS sichimatanthauziridwa kuti ndi yopitilira muyeso wakale, monga multiple sclerosis ndi nyamakazi nthawi zambiri zimakhala.

Koma ndimakhalidwe amoyo wonse, ndipo anthu ambiri amakhala ndi zizindikilo zomwe zimawonjezeka chifukwa cha ukalamba monga collagen ndi minofu yolumikizana mthupi imafooka.

Chowonadi ndi chakuti sindikhala bwino. Nditha kupeza chithandizo chamankhwala ndikusintha kwa moyo wanga komwe kumakulitsa moyo wanga, ndipo ndidzakhala ndi masiku abwino komanso oyipa.

Koma kulumala kwanga ndi kwa moyo wanga wonse - {textend} sizili konse ngati kuchira chimfine kapena mwendo wosweka. "Muzimva bwino," ndiye, sizikunena zowona.

Ndikudziwa kuti zingakhale zovuta kuyankhulana ndi munthu wapafupi ndi inu yemwe ali ndi chilema kapena matenda osachiritsika. Mukufuna kuwafunira zabwino, chifukwa ndi zomwe taphunzitsidwa kuti ndi ulemu. Ndipo mukukhulupirira ndi mtima wonse kuti adzakhala "bwino," chifukwa mumawakonda.

Osanenapo, zolemba zathu pagulu lodzazidwa ndi mauthenga abwino.

Pali magawo athunthu amakalata otumizira ena uthenga womwe mukukhulupirira kuti "akumva bwino" posachedwa.

Mauthengawa amagwira ntchito bwino munthawi yovuta, wina akadwala kapena kuvulala kwakanthawi ndipo amayembekeza kuti adzachira kwathunthu pakatha milungu, miyezi, kapena zaka.

Koma kwa ife omwe sitili mumkhalidwewo, kumva "kuchira msanga" kumatha kuvulaza koposa zabwino.

Uthengawu ndiwofala kwambiri kotero kuti ndili mwana, ndimakhulupirira kuti ndikadzakula ndidzakhala wamatsenga.

Ndidadziwa kuti zolemala zanga ndi za moyo wonse koma ndidalemba kalembedwe ka "bwino" kotero ndimaganiza kuti tsiku lina ndidzadzuka - {textend} pa 22 kapena 26 kapena 30 - {textend} ndikutha kuchita zonse Zinthu zomwe anzanga ndi anzanga amatha kuchita mosavuta.

Ndimagwira ntchito maola 40 kapena kupitilira muofesi osafunikira kupuma nthawi yayitali kapena kudwala pafupipafupi. Ndinkatsika pamasitepe odzaza ndi anthu kuti ndikagwire njanji yapansi panthaka popanda ngakhale kugwira dzanja. Nditha kudya chilichonse chomwe ndimafuna osadandaula za zovuta zakudwala koopsa masiku angapo pambuyo pake.

Nditatuluka kukoleji, ndidazindikira mwachangu kuti izi sizowona. Ndinkavutikabe kugwira ntchito muofesi, ndipo ndimayenera kusiya ntchito yanga yamaloto ku Boston kuti ndikagwire ntchito kunyumba.

Ndinali ndi chilema - {textend} ndipo ndikudziwa tsopano kuti ndidzakhala.

Nditazindikira kuti sindikhala bwino, pamapeto pake nditha kuyesetsa kuvomereza izi - {textend} kukhala moyo wanga wabwino kwambiri mkati malire a thupi langa.

Kulandira malire amenewo, komabe, ndi chisoni kwa ambiri a ife. Koma ndi imodzi yomwe imapangidwa kukhala yosavuta tikakhala ndi anzathu ndi abale athu otithandizira.

Nthawi zina zimakhala zosavuta kuponyera malingaliro abwino ndikukhumba zabwino pazochitika zina. Kumvera chisoni wina yemwe akukumana ndi nthawi yovuta kwambiri - {textend} kaya ndikulumala kapena kutayika kwa wokondedwa kapena kupwetekedwa mtima - {textend} ndizovuta kuchita.

Kumvera ena chisoni kumafuna kuti tikhale ndi wina pomwe iwo ali, ngakhale atakhala kuti ndi amdima komanso owopsa. Nthawi zina, zimatanthauza kukhala ndi nkhawa yodziwa kuti simungathe "kukonza" zinthu.

Koma kumva munthu wina kutha kukhala kopindulitsa kuposa momwe mungaganizire.

Wina akamvera mantha anga - {textend} monga momwe ndimadandaula kuti kulumala kwanga kukukulirakulira komanso zinthu zonse zomwe sindingathe kuzichitanso - {textend} kuchitiridwa umboni munthawiyo ndichikumbutso champhamvu choti ndawonedwa ndipo wokondedwa.

Sindikufuna kuti wina ayesere kubisa kusokonekera komanso kuwopsa kwa vutolo kapena momwe akumvera pondiuza kuti zinthu zidzakhala bwino. Ndikufuna andiuze kuti ngakhale zinthu sizili bwino, amakhalabe nane.

Anthu ambiri amakhulupirira kuti njira yabwino kwambiri yothandizira ndi 'kuthetsa' vutoli, osandifunsa kuti ndikufunika chiyani kwa iwo koyambirira.

Kodi ndikufuna chiyani kwenikweni?

Ndikufuna andilole kuti ndifotokoze zovuta zomwe ndakhala ndikulandila popanda kundipatsa upangiri wosapempha.

Kundipatsa upangiri pomwe sindinaupemphe kumangokhala ngati mukunena kuti, "Sindikufuna kumva za ululu wanu. Ndikufuna mugwire ntchito yambiri kuti izi zitheke kuti tisadzayankhulenso za izi. ”

Ndikufuna andiuze kuti sindine cholemetsa ngati matenda anga akuchulukirachulukira ndikuyenera kusiya mapulani, kapena ndigwiritsa ntchito ndodo yanga kwambiri. Ndikufuna anene kuti andithandiza poonetsetsa kuti mapulani athu akupezeka - {textend} pokhala okhalapo nthawi zonse ngakhale sindingathe kuchita zomwe ndimachita.

Anthu olumala ndi omwe ali ndi matenda osachiritsika nthawi zonse amasintha tanthauzo lathu la thanzi komanso tanthauzo lakumva bwino. Zimathandiza pamene anthu omwe timakhala nawo akufunitsitsa kuchita zomwezo.

Ngati mukudabwa zomwe munganene mnzanu samva bwino, yambani kucheza nawo (osati pa iwo)

Yambitsani kufunsa funso kuti: "Ndingakuthandizeni bwanji pano?" Ndipo onaninso za njira yomwe imamveka bwino munthawi yomwe yaperekedwa.

“Kodi mungafune kuti ndimvetsere? Kodi mukufuna ndikumvereni? Mukuyang'ana upangiri? Kodi zingandithandizire ngati nditakwiya chifukwa cha zomwe inu mumachita? ”

Mwachitsanzo, ine ndi anzanga nthawi zambiri timapanga nthawi yomwe tonsefe tingathe kufotokoza zakukhosi kwathu - {textend} palibe amene angatipatse malangizo pokhapokha atapemphedwa, ndipo tonse tidzamvera chisoni m'malo mopereka mawu onga "Monga pitirizani kuyang'ana mbali yowala! ”

Kupatula nthawi yolankhula zakukhosi kwathu kumatithandizanso kuti tizilumikizana kwambiri, chifukwa zimatipatsa mwayi woti tikhale owona mtima komanso osabisa zakukhosi kwathu osadandaula kuti atichotsa.

Funso ili - {textend} “ukufuna chiyani kwa ine?” - {textend} ndi imodzi yomwe tonse titha kupindula mwa kufunsana pafupipafupi.

Ichi ndichifukwa chake bwenzi langa lobwera kunyumba kuchokera kuntchito pambuyo pa tsiku lovuta, mwachitsanzo, ndimaonetsetsa kuti ndamufunsa chimodzimodzi.

Nthawi zina timamupatsa mpata woti afotokozere zomwe zinali zovuta, ndipo ndimangomvetsera. Nthawi zina ndimam'kwiyitsa kapena kukhumudwa, ndikumuwuza zomwe akufuna.

Nthawi zina, timanyalanyaza dziko lonse lapansi, timapanga bulangeti, ndikuwonerera "Deadpool."

Ngati ndili wachisoni, mwina chifukwa chaulemala wanga kapena chifukwa chakuti mphaka wanga akunyalanyaza ine, ndizo zonse zomwe ndikufuna - {textend} ndipo aliyense amene akufuna, kwenikweni: Kuti amveke ndi kuthandizidwa m'njira yoti, "Ndikuwona iwe, ndimakukonda, ndipo ndili pano chifukwa cha iwe. ”

Alaina Leary ndi mkonzi, woyang'anira media, komanso wolemba waku Boston, Massachusetts. Pakadali pano ndiwothandizira mkonzi wa Equally Wed Magazine komanso mkonzi wazama TV ku bungwe lopanda phindu lomwe timafunikira.