Momwe Mungadziwire Momwe Mumamvera ndi Gudumu Lamaganizidwe - ndi Chifukwa Chomwe Muyenera

Zamkati

• Kodi Gudumu la Maganizo ndi Chiyani?
• Chifukwa Chimene Mungagwiritsire Ntchito Gudumu la Kutengeka
• Momwe Mungagwiritsire Ntchito Gudumu la Kutengeka
• Mukazindikira Maganizo Anu ...
• Onaninso za

Pankhani ya thanzi la maganizo, anthu ambiri amakonda kukhala opanda mawu okhazikika; zingawoneke zosatheka kufotokoza ndendende momwe mukumvera. Sikuti Chingerezi nthawi zambiri chimakhala ndi mawu oyenera, komanso ndizosavuta kugawa m'magulu akulu, osafunikira kwenikweni. Mukuganiza kuti, "Ndine wabwino kapena woipa, wokondwa kapena wachisoni." Ndiye mungadziwe bwanji zomwe mukumva-ndipo mukachita, mumatani ndi izi? Lowani: gudumu lamalingaliro.

Katswiri wa zamaganizidwe a Kevin Gilliland, Psy.D, wamkulu ku i360 ku Dallas, TX amagwira ntchito makamaka ndi amuna ndi achinyamata - motero, akuti amadziwa kugwiritsa ntchito chida ichi polemba malingaliro. "Amuna ndi oipa kwambiri pokhala ndi malingaliro amodzi m'mawu awo: okwiya," akutero. "Ndikungoseka theka."

Ngakhale kuti mawuwa amatha kubwera mu chithandizo cha amuna, kusiyanitsa mawu anu amisala ndikofunikira kwa aliyense, mosasamala kanthu kuti ndinu mwamuna kapena mkazi, akutero Gilliland. "Magudumu amtunduwu ndi chida chothandiza kuti anthu azindikire momwe akumvera, m'malo mongonena kuti 'Sindikumva bwino,'" atero a Alex Dimitriu, MD, omwe ali ndi mbiri yazachipatala komanso mankhwala ogona komanso woyambitsa Menlo Park Psychiatry & Tulo Mankhwala.

Kodi Gudumu la Maganizo ndi Chiyani?

Gudumu - lomwe nthawi zina limatchedwa "gudumu la kutengeka," kapena "gudumu la zomverera" - ndi chithunzi chozungulira chomwe chimagawidwa m'magawo ndi magawo kuti athandize wogwiritsa ntchito kuzindikira bwino ndikumvetsetsa zomwe akukumana nazo panthawi iliyonse, pazochitika zilizonse.

Ndipo kulibe gudumu limodzi lokha. Wheel ya Geneva Emotion Wheel imapanga malingaliro ngati gudumu koma pagulu la ma quadrants anayi omwe amawapanga kukhala osangalatsa mpaka osasangalatsa komanso owongolera mpaka osalamulirika. Wheel of Emotions ya Plutchik (yopangidwa ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Robert Plutchik mu 1980) ili ndi malingaliro asanu ndi atatu "ofunikira" pakati - chisangalalo, chidaliro, mantha, kudabwa, chisoni, kuyembekezera, mkwiyo, ndi kunyansidwa - ndi mphamvu zambiri, kuphatikizapo maubwenzi pakati pawo. zotengeka. Ndiye pali gudumu la Junto, lomwe limakhala ndi mawonekedwe osiyanasiyana ndipo ndilosavuta kugwiritsa ntchito: Limatchula chisangalalo, chikondi, kudabwitsidwa, kukhumudwa, mkwiyo, ndi mantha pakatikati, kenako ndikupangitsanso malingaliro akuluwo kukhala otengeka kwambiri cha kunja kwa gudumu.

Mfundo yaikulu ya izi ndi yakuti palibe "magudumu" amalingaliro, ndipo othandizira osiyanasiyana amagwiritsa ntchito mapangidwe osiyanasiyana. Komanso, mutha kukunkha mosiyanasiyana kutengera gudumu lomwe mumagwiritsa ntchito. Mwachitsanzo, Wheel ya Plutchik kwenikweni ndi chulucho chomwe chimawonetsanso ubale wapakati pamalingaliro oyandikana; ie pakati pa "ecstasy" ndi "kusilira" mudzapeza "chikondi" (ngakhale "chikondi" palokha si gulu) ndipo pakati "kusilira" ndi "mantha" mudzapeza "kugonjera" (kachiwiri, "kugonjera" " si gulu, kuphatikiza magulu awiri oyandikana). Ndizovuta pang'ono kusonkhana popanda zitsanzo zowoneka, choncho onani mawilo awa. Monga momwe amathandizira osiyanasiyana anthu osiyanasiyana, pali matayala osiyanasiyana - chifukwa chake pezani zomwe zikukuthandizani (ndipo ngati muli ndi othandizira, mutha kugwira nawo ntchito kuti musankhe mmodzi, nawonso).

Kugwiritsa ntchito mawilowa kungakuthandizeni kudziwa momwe mukumvera - ndipo iyi ikhoza kukhala poyambira yopititsa patsogolo chidwi chanu, atero Dr. Dimitriu. "Ikuwonjezera tsatanetsatane wazambiri kupatula 'zabwino kapena zoyipa,' ndikuzindikira bwino, anthu atha kudziwa zomwe zimawadetsa nkhawa." (Zokhudzana: Zomverera 8 Zomwe Simunadziwe Kuti Muli nazo)

Chifukwa Chimene Mungagwiritsire Ntchito Gudumu la Kutengeka

Kumverera woletsedwa? Simungathe kudziwa momwe mukumvera, komwe kumvererako kukuchokera, ndipo chifukwa chiyani? Mukufuna kumva kukhala wamphamvu, wovomerezeka, komanso womveka bwino? Mukufuna mayankho? Mukufuna gudumu (komanso mwina chithandizo, koma zambiri pamenepo pang'ono).

Ma chart awa atha kukuthandizani kuzindikira kuti muli ndi kuzama kwamalingaliro komanso kusamvetsetsana kuposa momwe mumaganizira, ndipo zotsatira zake zitha kukhala zotsimikizika kwambiri. "Chimodzi mwazifukwa zomwe ndimakonda kwambiri mawilowa - kapena nthawi zina mndandanda - wamalingaliro, ndichifukwa chakuti anthu amatha kukhala ndi malingaliro abwino, koma nthawi zina mumafunikira china chake chomwe chimakuthandizani kuchiyika m'mawu," akutero Gilliland. "Sindingakuuzeni kuti anthu amadabwa kangati - komanso amasangalala kwambiri - akawona mawu omwe amatenga zomwe akumva kapena zomwe akumana nazo."

Ndizoseketsa. Nthawi zina kungodziwa malingaliro oyenera kungabweretse mpumulo wodabwitsa.

Kevin Gilliland, Psy.D, wama psychologist wamaganizidwe

Kutsimikizika kumatha kuphatikizidwa ndi chisangalalo chomwe mumamva chinthu chikadina (ngakhale kusangalala kuli chifukwa chodziwa kuti simukungokhala "wokwiya" koma "opanda mphamvu" kapena "wansanje"). "Zili ngati kuti pamapeto pake muli ndi yankho la funso lomwe mwakhala mukufunsa, ndipo mumapeza chidaliro kuchokera pamenepo, ngakhale pakadali kusatsimikizika," akutero Gilliland. "Zimakhala ngati mumapeza mtendere podziwa zomwe mukumva," ndipo kuchokera pamenepo, mukhoza kupita kuntchito: "Chifukwa" chimabwera mosavuta" pambuyo pake. (Zokhudzana: Chifukwa Chimene Mungalire Mukathamanga)

Izi mkati mwake zimatha kuchiritsa modabwitsa, malinga ndi Gilliland. "Kutengeka kwanu kumakhudzanso malingaliro anu, chomwe ndi chimodzi mwazifukwa zomwe ndikofunikira kuti muzilondola," akutero. "Kutengeka mtima kumatha kumasula malingaliro omwe amakuthandizani kuti mukhale ndi chidziwitso chochulukirapo - nthawi zina, zimakhala ngati kudziwa malingaliro oyenera kumatsegula chidziwitso chakumbuyo."

Momwe Mungagwiritsire Ntchito Gudumu la Kutengeka

1. Sankhani gulu.

Yambani podziwa gulu lonse, kenako ndikubowola. "Mukakhala olondola kwambiri ndi momwe mukumvera kapena kuganiza, mayankho nthawi zina amakhala patsogolo panu," akutero Gilliland. "Nthawi zina ndimayamba ndi gulu lalikulu: 'Chabwino, ndiye mumamva okondwa kapena achisoni? Tiyeni tiyambire pamenepo.' "Mukachoka pa" mkwiyo," muyenera kuyamba kuganiza - ndikupanga mndandanda wamalingaliro ndi Nthawi zonse zimakhala bwino kuposa kudziletsa kuti mukhale ndi mtima umodzi ngati mkwiyo, akutero.

2. Kapena, yang'anani pa tchati chonse.

"Ngati mukumva ngati simunakhalepo posachedwapa (ndipo moona mtima, ndani sanamve choncho miyezi isanu ndi umodzi yapitayi?), Kenako yang'anani mndandanda wautali wamalingaliro ndikuwona ngati pali imodzi yomwe imajambula molondola. momwe mumamvera, "akuwonetsa Gilliland.

3. Lonjezani mndandanda wanu.

Kodi mumakonda kugwiritsa ntchito liwu limodzi kapena awiri nthawi zonse pozindikira momwe mukumvera? Yakwana nthawi yoti muwonjezere chilankhulo chaomwecho! "Ngati muli ndi vuto la 'default' (mwachitsanzo, mumakonda kugwiritsa ntchito chimodzimodzi nthawi zonse), ndiye kuti muyenera kuwonjezera mawu pachilankhulo chanu," akutero a Gilliland. "Zimakuthandizani, ndipo zithandizanso abale ndi anzanu mukamacheza nawo." Mwachitsanzo, tsiku lisanafike, kodi mumakhala ndi nkhawa, kapena mumakhala ngati osatetezeka? Mnzanu wina atakudzudzulani, kodi mumangokwiya, kapena kupusitsidwa?

4. Osamangoyang'ana zoipa.

Gilliland ikukulimbikitsani kuti musangoyang'ana pamalingaliro omwe ndi "olemetsa" kapena "otsika."

"Fufuzani zomwe zimakuthandizani kuyamikira moyo; zinthu monga chisangalalo, kuyamikira, kunyada, chidaliro, kapena luso," akutero."Kungowerenga mndandandandawo nthawi zambiri kumatha kukukumbutsani za malingaliro onse, osati okhawo oyipa. Zimafunikira nthawi ngati izi." (Chitsanzo: Mwina kuvina nyimbo ya Lizzo uli maliseche sikunakupangitseni kumva bwino kapena kukondwa, koma kumakupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu odzidalira komanso omasuka ~.)

Mukazindikira Maganizo Anu ...

Kotero, tsopano chiani? Pongoyambira, musanyamule zonse. “M’pofunika kudziŵa mmene mukumvera ndi chifukwa chake, koma m’pofunikanso kukhala pansi ndi malingaliro osawathaŵa kapena kudodometsedwa,” anatero Dr. Dimitrius. "Kulemba malingaliro (kuchokera pagudumu, mwachitsanzo), kulembera za iwo (kuwafufuza mwatsatanetsatane), ndikumvetsetsa zomwe zidapangitsa kuti zinthu zikhale bwino kapena zoyipa zonse ndizothandiza."

"Maganizo anu amalumikizidwa ndi malingaliro anu ndi machitidwe anu m'njira yomwe ofufuza apitiliza kuphunzira," akutero a Gilliland. "Chinthu chimodzi tikudziwa: ndizofanana m'njira zamphamvu." Mwachitsanzo, mumakonda kukumbukira zochitika zam'maganizo momveka bwino chifukwa malingaliro amatha kukulitsa kukumbukira kwanu. Chifukwa chake, "ndikoyenera nthawi yanu kuti mufotokoze molunjika momwe mungathere," akutero.

Akatswiri onsewa akuwonetsa kulemba ndi kulemba mndandanda kuti mumve momwe mukumvera. "Mukazindikira malingaliro anu, zingakhale zothandiza kumvetsetsa zinthu ziwiri: choyamba, chomwe chidawapangitsa, ndipo chachiwiri, chomwe chidawapangitsa kukhala abwinoko," akutero Dr. Dimitriu. (Zokhudzana: Momwe Kufotokozera Zomwe Mukumva Kumakupangitsani Kukhala Wathanzi)

Kumbukirani, mudzaphunziranso izi mu chithandizo. "Chithandizo chabwino chimathandiza anthu kuzindikira momwe akumvera ndi momwe amachitirako," adatero Dr. Dimitriu, podziwa kuti, monga katswiri wazamisala, lingaliro lakudziwika mwamalingaliro limalowetsedwa mumachitidwe ake. "Magudumu akuyamba bwino, koma osati m'malo mwa mankhwala."

Onaninso za