Chonde Osandimvetsa Chifukwa Ndine Borderline Personality Disorder

Zamkati

• Nditangopezeka kuti ndili ndi vuto la m'malire (BPD), mwamantha ndidalemba zomwe zidachitika ku Amazon kuti ndione ngati ndingathe kuwerenga. Mtima wanga unagwa pomwe chimodzi mwazotsatira zabwino kwambiri chinali buku lodzithandiza pa "kutenga moyo wako" kuchokera kwa wina wonga ine.
• Zingakhale zosautsa kwambiri
• Zitha kukhala zopweteka
• Zitha kukhala zankhanza kwambiri
• Sichikhululukira khalidweli

Nditangopezeka kuti ndili ndi vuto la m'malire (BPD), mwamantha ndidalemba zomwe zidachitika ku Amazon kuti ndione ngati ndingathe kuwerenga. Mtima wanga unagwa pomwe chimodzi mwazotsatira zabwino kwambiri chinali buku lodzithandiza pa "kutenga moyo wako" kuchokera kwa wina wonga ine.

Mutu wonse wa bukuli, "Stop Walk on on Eggshells: Returning Your Life Back When Another You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder" lolembedwa ndi Paul Mason ndi Randi Kreger, likadali lobaya. Imafunsa owerenga ngati akumva kuti "amakopedwa, kulamulidwa, kapena kunamizidwa" ndi munthu yemwe ali ndi BPD. Kwina konse, ndawonapo anthu akuitanira anthu onse omwe ali ndi BPD ozunza. Mukamakhala kale ngati cholemetsa - chomwe anthu ambiri omwe ali ndi BPD amachita - chilankhulo chonga ichi chimapweteka.

Ndikutha kuona chifukwa chake anthu omwe alibe BPD amavutika kuti amvetse. BPD imadziwika ndi kusinthasintha kwakanthawi kwakanthawi, kudzimva wosakhazikika, kusakhazikika, komanso mantha ambiri. Izi zitha kukupangitsani kuti muzichita zinthu molakwika. Mphindi imodzi mungamve ngati kuti mumakonda winawake kwambiri kotero kuti mukufuna kukhala nawo moyo wanu. Mphindi wotsatira mukuwakankhira kutali chifukwa mwatsimikiza kuti achoka.

Ndikudziwa kuti ndizosokoneza, ndipo ndikudziwa kusamalira munthu amene ali ndi BPD kumakhala kovuta. Koma ndikukhulupirira kuti ndimamvetsetsa bwino za vutoli komanso tanthauzo lake kwa munthu amene akuyilamulira, izi zitha kukhala zosavuta. Ndimakhala ndi BPD tsiku lililonse. Izi ndi zomwe ndikukhumba kuti aliyense adziwe za izi.

Zingakhale zosautsa kwambiri

Vuto lamunthu limafotokozedwa ndi "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disways, Edition 5”mokhudzana ndi momwe maganizo amunthu a nthawi yayitali amalingaliro, momwe akumvera, komanso machitidwe ake zimabweretsa zovuta m'moyo watsiku ndi tsiku. Monga mukumvetsetsa, vuto lalikulu lamaganizidwe limatha kukhala lopweteka kwambiri. Anthu omwe ali ndi BPD nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi nkhawa, makamaka momwe amatizindikira, kaya timakondedwa, ndikuyembekeza kuti atisiyira. Kunena kuti "timazunza" pamwamba pa izi kumangowonjezera kusalidwa ndikupangitsa kuti tizidzimva kuti ndife opanda ntchito.

Izi zitha kubweretsa chizolowezi chopewa kusiya anthu omwe akuyembekezeredwa. Kuthamangitsa okondedwa anu ponyanyala nthawi zambiri kumawoneka ngati njira yokhayo yopewera kuvulazidwa. Ndizofala kwa iwo omwe ali ndi BPD kukhulupirira anthu, ngakhale ubale wawo uli wotani. Nthawi yomweyo, zimakhalanso zachizoloŵezi kwa munthu amene ali ndi BPD kukhala wosowa, nthawi zonse kufunafuna chisamaliro ndi kutsimikizika kuti athetse nkhawa. Khalidwe longa ili pachibwenzi chilichonse limatha kukhala lopweteka komanso lodana, koma limachitika chifukwa cha mantha komanso kusimidwa, osati njiru.

Zitha kukhala zopweteka

Zomwe zimayambitsa manthawa nthawi zambiri zimakhala zoopsa. Pali malingaliro osiyanasiyana pokhudzana ndi momwe kusokonezeka kwa umunthu kumakhalira: Zitha kukhala zamoyo, zachilengedwe, zokhudzana ndi kapangidwe kake kaubongo, kapena chisakanizo cha zina kapena zonse. Ndikudziwa kuti matenda anga amachokera kuzunzidwe zam'maganizo komanso zovuta zachiwerewere. Kuopa kusiyidwa ndidayamba ndili mwana ndipo kudangokulirakulira m'moyo wanga wachikulire. Ndipo ndapanga njira zingapo zothanirana ndi izi chifukwa chake.

Izi zikutanthauza kuti ndimavutika kuti ndikhulupirire. Izi zikutanthauza kuti ndimakwiya ndikaganiza kuti wina akundipereka kapena kundisiya. Izi zikutanthauza kuti ndimayesetsa kuchita zinthu mopupuluma kuti ndiyese kudzaza kupanda pake komwe ndikumverera - kaya ndikugwiritsa ntchito ndalama, pomwa mowa mwauchidakwa, kapena kudzivulaza. Ndikufuna kutsimikizika kuchokera kwa anthu ena kuti azimva ngati sindine wowopsa komanso wopanda pake monga momwe ndimaganizira, ngakhale ndilibe chodandaula chilichonse ndipo sindingathe kugwiritsitsa chitsimikizocho ndikachipeza.

Zitha kukhala zankhanza kwambiri

Zonsezi zikutanthauza kuti kukhala pafupi ndi ine kumakhala kovuta kwambiri. Ndathetsa zibwenzi zachikondi chifukwa ndimafunikira kulimbikitsidwa kowoneka ngati kosatha. Ndanyalanyaza zosowa za anthu ena chifukwa ndaganiza kuti ngati akufuna malo, kapena akasintha malingaliro, ndizokhudza ine. Ndamanga khoma pomwe ndimaganiza kuti ndikufuna kuvulala. Zinthu zikalakwika, ngakhale zitakhala zazing'ono bwanji, ndimakonda kuganiza kuti kudzipha ndiye njira yokhayo. Ndakhala ndili msungwana yemwe amayesera kudzipha yekha atadzipatula.

Ndikumvetsa kuti kwa anthu ena izi zitha kuwoneka ngati zachinyengo. Zikuwoneka ngati ndikunena kuti ngati simukhala ndi ine, ngati simundipatsa chidwi chonse chomwe ndikufunikira, ndidzipweteka. Pamwamba pa izo, anthu omwe ali ndi BPD amadziwika kuti zimawavuta kuti awerenge molondola malingaliro a anthu kwa ife. Kuyankha kosalowerera ndale kwa munthu kumatha kuzindikiridwa ngati mkwiyo, kumadyetsa malingaliro omwe tili nawo kale okhudza ife eni ngati oyipa komanso opanda pake. Izi zikuwoneka ngati ndikunena kuti ndikalakwitsa zinazake, simungandikwiyire kapena ndingalire. Ndikudziwa zonsezi, ndipo ndimamvetsetsa momwe zimawonekera.

Sichikhululukira khalidweli

Chinthuchi ndikuti, ndikhoza kuchita zinthu zonsezi. Ndikhoza kudzipweteka chifukwa ndinamva kuti mwakhumudwa chifukwa sindinasambe. Nditha kulira chifukwa munayamba kucheza ndi msungwana wokongola pa Facebook. BPD ndiyotsogola, yosasintha, komanso yopanda nzeru. Zovuta momwe ndikudziwira kuti zitha kukhala ndi wina m'moyo wanu, ndizovuta kwambiri kukhala nazo nthawi 10. Kukhala ndi nkhawa nthawi zonse, mantha, ndikukayikira ndikotopetsa. Popeza ambiri a ife tikachiritsidwanso pamavuto nthawi yomweyo zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kwambiri.

Koma izi sizitengera khalidweli chifukwa limapweteketsa ena. Sindikunena kuti anthu omwe ali ndi BPD samazunza anzawo, kuwanyengerera, kapena kuchita zoyipa - aliyense Zitha kukhala zinthu zimenezo. BPD sichimatengera mikhalidwe imeneyi mwa ife. Zimangotipangitsa kukhala osatetezeka komanso amantha.

Tikudziwa zimenezo, nafenso. Kwa ambiri a ife, chomwe chimatithandiza kupitiliza ndi chiyembekezo kuti zinthu zitiyendera bwino. Popeza mutha kuchipeza, chithandizo kuchokera kumankhwala mpaka kuchipatala chitha kupindulitsadi. Kuchotsa manyazi okhudzana ndi matendawa kumatha kuthandizira. Zonse zimayamba ndikumvetsetsa. Ndipo ndikhulupilira kuti mutha kumvetsetsa.

Tilly Grove ndi mtolankhani wodziyimira payokha ku London, England. Amakonda kulemba zandale, chilungamo chazachikhalidwe, ndi BPD yake, ndipo mumamupeza akulemba tweeting chimodzimodzi @femmenistfatale. Tsamba lake ndi tillygrove.wordpress.com.