Mawu Atatu Aang'onowa Akukupangitsani Kukhala Munthu Woyipa-Ndipo Mwinanso Mumanena Nthawi Zonse
Zamkati
Pano pali china chake chomwe chingakupangitseni kuganiza kawiri: "Makambirano ambiri aku America amadziwika ndikudandaula," akutero a Scott Bea, Psy.D, katswiri wama psychology ku Cleveland Clinic.
Ndizomveka. Ubongo wamunthu uli ndi zomwe zimatchedwa kukondera. "Timakonda kuzindikira zinthu zomwe zikuwopseza momwe timakhalira," akutero Bea. Zimabwerera ku nthawi yamakolo athu pomwe kuwona zomwe zimawopseza kunali kofunikira kuti tikhale ndi moyo.
Ndipo musananene kuti mumayesetsa kuti musadandaule - mumasinkhasinkha, mukuganiza zabwino, mumayesetsa kupeza zabwino nthawi zonse - mwina ndinu olakwa kuposa momwe mukuganizira. Kupatula apo, ndi liti pomwe munanena kuti anali kuchita kanthu? Mwina inu anali kupita kukagula grocery. Kapena inu anali kugwira ntchito. Mwina inu anali kupita kwa apongozi ako pambuyo pa ntchito.
Ndi msampha wosavuta womwe tonse timagweramo nthawi ndi nthawi-koma ndi umodzi womwe sungopangitsa kuti malingaliro athu pa moyo akhale abuluu pang'ono, komanso amatha kusokoneza ubongo, adatero Bea.
Mwamwayi, chilankhulo chaching'ono chingathandize: M'malo monena kuti "Ndiyenera," nenani, "ndikufika." Ndi chinthu chomwe makampani monga Life Is Good, omwe amatumiza mauthenga abwino kudzera muzovala ndi katundu wamitundu yonse, amalimbikitsa antchito awo ndi makasitomala kuchita. (Zokhudzana: Njira Yoganiza Motere Imatha Kupangitsa Kukhala Wakhalidwe Labwino Kwambiri)
Ichi ndichifukwa chake zimagwira ntchito: "'I kukhala 'kumveka ngati cholemetsa. 'Ine kupeza "ndi mwayi," akutero Bea. "Ndipo ubongo wathu umagwira mwamphamvu kwambiri momwe timagwiritsira ntchito chilankhulo tikamalankhula komanso momwe timagwiritsira ntchito chilankhulo m'malingaliro athu."
Kupatula apo, kunena kuti muyenera kuchita zinazake kungakuthandizeni kuti muchite (mukhoza kupita ku gulu lozungulira, mwachitsanzo), kupanga khalidwe ngati chinthu chomwe muyenera kuchita kumakuthandizani kuti mutsatire ndi chidwi chochulukirapo. (ndikuthandizani kuti muzindikire kuti mutha kuchita bwino poyamba), akutero a Bea. "Zimabweretsa mwayi-ndi kulandiridwa kwa zochitika, zomwe zili ndi phindu labwino kwa ife. Ndiko kusiyana pakati pa zoopsa ndi zovuta, "akutero. "Ndi anthu ochepa chabe omwe akufuna kutiopseza ndipo ambiri a ife tikufuna kuthana ndi vuto kapena mwayi wabwino." (Zokhudzana: Kodi Kuganiza Bwino Kumagwiradi Ntchito?)
Zowonjezereka: Ma psychotherapies omwe akubwera, kuphatikizapo kuvomereza ndi kudzipereka chithandizo, amayang'ana kwambiri chilankhulo chaching'ono ngati chothandizira anthu kuthana ndi zovuta, adatero. Kotero ngakhale kulingalira kwabwino (ndi zofunikira zonse zomwe zimabwera ndi izo) ndi zokhudzana ndi malingaliro abwino, zimakhudzanso malingaliro abwino, omwe amathanso kukulitsa kuyamikira ndikuyamikira, kulimbikitsa machitidwe abwino kwambiri, inde, malingaliro, nawonso. Madandaulo kumbali ina? Amatha kutisiya tili omasuka komanso oopsezedwa mdziko lapansi, ndikupitilizabe kusasamala komanso mantha.
Mpaka pano, "ndiyenera" siwo mawu okha omwe muyenera kusiya. Bea akuti timakonda kudzipatula tokha ndi zilankhulo m'mawu ambiri, akusesa omwe nthawi zambiri amakhala okokomeza. Timati: "Ndili wosungulumwa" kapena "Sindikusangalala" poyerekeza "Ndakhala ndi nthawi zosungulumwa" kapena "Ndakhala ndi masiku achisoni posachedwa." Iye ananena kuti zonsezi zingasokoneze moyo wathu. Ngakhale kuti zoyambazo zingawoneke ngati zolemetsa-pafupifupi zosatheka kuzigonjetsa-zotsirizirazo zimasiya malo ambiri oti ziwongolere komanso zimapereka chithunzi chowoneka bwino cha momwe zinthu zilili. (Zokhudzana: Zifukwa Zothandizidwa Ndi Sayansi Mumakhala Osangalala Mwalamulo Komanso Kukhala Ndi Moyo Wathanzi M'nyengo Yotentha)
Gawo labwino kwambiri la zosintha zosavuta izi? Ndiwochepa - ndipo mutha kuyamba kuwachita, stat. Komanso, amadyerana wina ndi mzake.
Bea akuti: "Kuyamikira kumakukakamizani kuti muike zosefera m'masiku otsatirawa kuti muyambe kufunafuna zinthu zomwe mumayamika, ndipo sizomwe zimachitika kwa anthu kotero zimakhala ngati zimapanga dongosolo mwatsatanetsatane."
Ndipo ndizo pulogalamu yomwe titha kubwerera kumbuyo.