Chonde Werengani Izi Ngati Kuda nkhawa Ndi Anthu Kukuwonongerani Chibwenzi Chanu

Zamkati

• 1. Khalani oona mtima
• 2. Yesetsani!
• 3. Tumizani bwenzi lanu musanalimbikitsidwe
• 4. Fikani msanga pang'ono
• 5. Kumbukirani CBT yanu
• 6. Sewerani motetezeka

"Izi ndizovuta."

Awa anali mawu amatsenga omwe ndidayankhula kwa amuna anga a Dan tsopano pomwe tidakumana koyamba. Sizinamuthandize kuti adayamba kukumbatirana, pomwe ine ndimagwirana chanza. Koma ndidamudabwitsa ndi mawu anga oyamba.

Kuda nkhawa ndi anzanu kumatha kupangitsa chibwenzi kukhala chovuta ... kapena, ngati ndili wowona mtima kwathunthu, zimapangitsa kukhala cholota. Monga munthu amene amadana ndi zoyankhulana, magwiridwe anga pachibwenzi sangakhale abwino. Kupatula apo, tsiku loyamba limangokhala kuyankhulana kwapadera kwambiri pantchito - kupatula ndi ma cocktails (ngati muli ndi mwayi).

Mwachitsanzo, anzanga ena apamtima amaganiza kuti ndinali mfumukazi yachisanu pomwe tidakumana koyamba. Ngati ndimakondadi munthu - mwachikondi kapena ayi - ndimakonda kukhala pandekha ndikupewa kukhudzana ndi maso. Ndimakumana ndi wotopetsa kapena wosachita chidwi, koma ndimangokhala ndi gawo lokhalitsa. Kuopa kunena "chinthu cholakwika" kapena kudziona ngati wotayika ndikothetsa zonse.

Koma kubwerera tsiku langa loyamba ndi mwamuna wanga: Ndidafika kokwerera masitima osachepera mphindi 10 koyambirira, ndikutuluka thukuta, ndikukambirana ngati ndiyenera kutuluka kumeneko ndisanadzipusitse.

Koma posakhalitsa, ndidakhala naye m'bawa, kutentha kwanga kukutentha. Sindingathe kuchotsa sweta yanga chifukwa ndinali ndikutuluka thukuta kwambiri - palibe amene akufuna kuwona mabala a thukuta! Manja anga anali kunjenjemera kotero kuti sindinathe kufikira galasi langa la vinyo, kuti mwina angadziwe.

Dani: Ndiuze zambiri za zomwe umachita. ”

Ine (mkati): “Lekani kuyang'ana pa ine, ndiyenera kumwa vinyo wanga.”

Ine (kunja): “Oo, ndimangogwira ntchito yosindikiza. Kodi mumatani?"

Dani: "Inde, koma, mumatani pakusindikiza?"

Ine (mkati): "[Tulo]"

Ine (kunja): "Palibe zambiri, hahaha!"

Pakadali pano, adagwada pansi kuti amange nsapato yake, nthawi yomwe ndidatsitsa theka la galasi langa. Izi zidandichotsa pamphuno. Osati yankho labwino kwambiri, koma kodi mungatani. Mwamwayi, adandifunira ndendende yemwe ndinali. Pambuyo pake ndidamuuza zakukhala ndi nkhawa pagulu (nditatsekedwa m'chipinda chosambira ku hotelo patchuthi… nkhani yayitali). Zina zonse ndi mbiriyakale.

Zomwe ndakumana nazo zandipatsa kuzindikira kwakukuru njira zomwe zimathandizira - ndi njira ziti zomwe sizingathandize - zikafika pakupeza malo amisonkhano pakati pa moyo wachinyamata wokhala pachibwenzi ndikukhala ndimavuto azikhalidwe. Ndikukhulupirira kuti malangizo otsatirawa atha kukhala othandiza!

1. Khalani oona mtima

Sindikutanthauza kuvomereza kuti mumakhala ndi nkhawa mukamakumana. Ndikutanthauza kunena zowona za malo omwe mungakhale omasuka kwambiri. Mwachitsanzo, ngati akupatsani Bowling, kudya mu lesitilanti, kapena china chilichonse chomwe chimakupangitsani mantha, nenani choncho. Kukhala ndi nkhawa pakati pa anthu ndi kovuta mokwanira osamva kukhala omangika m'malo mwanu. Simuyenera kuchita kufotokoza mwatsatanetsatane. Ingonenani monga, "Kwenikweni, sindine wokonda izi" kapena "Ndingachite bwino [X], ngati zili bwino."

2. Yesetsani!

Chimodzi mwazinthu zabwino za mapulogalamu azibwenzi ndikuti amakupatsani mwayi wokumana ndi anthu ambiri atsopano. Mukaona kuti zochitika pachibwenzi zimakhala zolimba, bwanji osalimbitsa chidaliro chanu popanga masiku ochepa oyeserera?

3. Tumizani bwenzi lanu musanalimbikitsidwe

Nthawi zambiri ndimanena ngati, "Ndikumangodzimangirira… ndiuzeni momwe ndiliri wodabwitsa!"

4. Fikani msanga pang'ono

Kukhala pamalowa tsiku lanu lisanafike kungakupatseni nthawi kuti muzolowere ndikukhala bwino. Koma musafike mphindi 10 isanakwane!

5. Kumbukirani CBT yanu

Chitani chidziwitso chazidziwitso (CBT) "Mukuganiza Zolemba" pasadakhale kuti mutsutse malingaliro aliwonse olakwika.

6. Sewerani motetezeka

Tsiku loyamba silikhala nthawi yoyesera tsitsi latsopano kapena zodzoladzola. Kuthekera koti zonse siziyenda bwino kumakwaniritsa mavuto anu. Ingokhalani ophweka. Sankhani china chake chomwe chimakupangitsani kukhala omasuka koma olimba mtima.

Kupita tsiku lomwe mumakhala ndi nkhawa zamagulu kumatha kukhala kovuta, koma nkhawa yanu sikuyenera kukulepheretsani kukhala ndi moyo. Kuchita zinthu zingapo zathanzi kumatha kusintha kwambiri!

Claire Eastham ndi wolemba mabulogu komanso wolemba wogulitsa kwambiri wa "Tonse ndife Amisili Pano." Mutha kulumikizana naye pa tsamba lake kapena tweet yake @ClaireyChiku.