Kukula Mwauzimu: Momwe zimawonekera

Zamkati

• Ndi chiyani kwenikweni?
• Kodi mawonekedwe ake ndi otani?
• Kutenga udindo
• Kusonyeza kumvera ena chisoni
• Kukhala ndi zolakwitsa
• Kukhala wopanda mantha pachiwopsezo
• Kuzindikira ndikuvomereza zosowa
• Kukhazikitsa malire abwino
• Kodi zaka zimakhudzana ndi izi?
• Kodi pali njira iliyonse yoyesera kukhwima kwanu?
• Kodi munatani mutakumana ndi zovuta zaposachedwa?
• Kodi mwathana bwanji ndi kusintha kosayembekezereka?
• Kodi nthawi zambiri mumadyetsedwa ndi aliyense komanso chilichonse?
• Zinthu zikalakwika, kodi mumakonda kudziimba mlandu nokha kapena ena?
• Kodi ndingatani kuti ndikule mwauzimu?
• Phunzirani kuzindikira momwe mukumvera
• Siyani manyazi
• Khazikitsani malire oyenera
• Tengani zenizeni zanu
• Onaninso ena mwachidwi
• Tsatirani chitsogozo cha wina
• Mfundo yofunika

Ndi chiyani kwenikweni?

Tikaganiza za munthu wina wokhwima mwauzimu, timakonda kujambula munthu yemwe amamvetsetsa kuti ndi ndani.

Ngakhale atakhala kuti alibe mayankho onse, munthu wokhwima m'maganizo amapereka lingaliro la "bata pakati pamavuto." Ndiwo omwe timawayang'ana tikakumana ndi zovuta chifukwa amachita bwino atapanikizika.

Mwanjira ina, kukhwima m'maganizo ndi pomwe wina amatha kuwongolera momwe akumvera ngakhale atakumana ndi zotani.

Amadziwa momwe angayankhire pakavuta ndikukhalabe ozizira. Ndi luso lomwe amatha kugwira ntchito nthawi zonse.

Pano pali mawonekedwe ofunikira komanso zinthu zomwe tingachite kuti tikule mwauzimu.

Kodi mawonekedwe ake ndi otani?

Kutenga udindo

Anthu omwe ali okhwima m'maganizo amadziwa mwayi wawo padziko lapansi ndipo ayesetsa kuchitapo kanthu kuti asinthe machitidwe awo.

Izi zikutanthauza kuti simuimba mlandu ena (kapena nokha) china chikasokonekera.

Muli ndi mzimu wonyozeka - m'malo modandaula pazomwe mukukhala, mumayamba kuchita zinthu. Mutha kufunsa, "Ndingatani kuti ndikwaniritse izi?"

Kusonyeza kumvera ena chisoni

Anthu okhwima mwauzimu amatengera moyo mwa kuchita zabwino zambiri momwe angathere ndikuthandizira owazungulira.

Mukudziwa momwe mungadziyikire nokha mu nsapato za wina. Kutanthauza, nthawi zambiri mumakhala ndi nkhawa kwambiri kwa ena ndikuyesera kupeza njira zothandizira.

Kukhala ndi zolakwitsa

Mukudziwa kupepesa mukalakwa. Palibe zifukwa. Mudzavomereza zolakwa zanu ndikuyesa kupeza njira zothetsera vutolo.

Inunso mulibe chikhumbo chokhala wolungama nthawi zonse. M'malo mwake, mungavomereze kuti mulibe "mayankho onse."

Kukhala wopanda mantha pachiwopsezo

Nthawi zonse mumakhala okonzeka kutsegula ndikugawana zovuta zanu kuti ena asamveke okha.

Simusangalalanso kuti mudzawonedwe ngati "angwiro" nthawi zonse.

Kukula mwauzimu kumatanthauza kukhala owona mtima pamalingaliro anu ndikupanga kudalirana ndi omwe akuzungulirani chifukwa mulibe cholinga.

Kuzindikira ndikuvomereza zosowa

Anthu okhwima m'maganizo amatha kuvomereza akafuna thandizo kapena akapanikizika. Mwachitsanzo, mungavomereze mukamasowa tchuthi ndikudziwa nthawi yofunsira bwana wanu tsiku lopuma.

Muthanso kulumikizana momveka bwino ndi mnzanu kuti muthandizidwe kwambiri panyumba.

Kukhazikitsa malire abwino

Kukhazikitsa malire abwino ndi njira yodzikonda komanso ulemu. Mukudziwa momwe mungatanthauzire mzere ndipo simulola kuti ena awoloke.

Ngati mnzanu akunyozani kapena kukunyozani, simungayime ndipo mudzamveketsa mawu anu.

Kodi zaka zimakhudzana ndi izi?

Mwachidule: inde ndi ayi. Pali zinthu zambiri zomwe zingakhudze msinkhu wa munthu. Kudziwitsidwa ndi zokumana nazo zosiyanasiyana ndidakali aang'ono ndi chitsanzo chimodzi.

Wina adapeza kuti kusuta ndudu komanso kumwa mowa kumathandizanso kuti ubongo wachinyamata uzikula, zomwe zimakhudza momwe amakulira.

Magawo ovuta aubongo ngati preortal cortex - yomwe imathandizira kuletsa machitidwe oika pachiwopsezo - samakula bwino mpaka zaka za 25.Izi zitha kuwerengera chifukwa chake zambiri zomwe achinyamata amakhala zimawoneka ngati zosayembekezereka.

Komabe, msinkhu wa kukhwima umakhudzana kwambiri ndi nzeru zamaganizidwe awo - kapena momwe amasankhira kuthana ndi zovuta - osati zaka zawo.

Ngakhale achikulire msinkhu akhoza kukhala ndi msinkhu wochepa. Ndicho chifukwa chake mungakumane ndi munthu wachichepere kwambiri yemwe akuwoneka wanzeru kuposa zaka zawo.

Kodi pali njira iliyonse yoyesera kukhwima kwanu?

Pali mayesero ambiri pa intaneti komanso mafunso omwe angakuthandizeni kudziwa kukula kwanu. Zambiri mwazi ndi zosangalatsa komanso sizodalirika kuchipatala kapena zovomerezeka.

Muthanso kuyamba ndikudzifunsa mafunso ofunika kuti mudziwe komwe muli.

Kodi munatani mutakumana ndi zovuta zaposachedwa?

Mukakhala pa tsiku lomaliza ntchito, mwawonetsa bwanji kufunika koti mupume? Kodi mumangokhalira kugwira nawo anzanu kapena mwaphulitsa mpweya ku malo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi nthawi yamadzulo?

Kukwiyira ena ndikulephera kuzindikira zosowa zathu ndi chisonyezo choti mungafunikire kukula.

Kodi mwathana bwanji ndi kusintha kosayembekezereka?

BFF yanu ikanena kukwezedwa kwatsopano kapena kuti achita chinkhoswe, munatani?

Kodi mudawalakalaka ndikufunsa momwe mungawathandizire kukondwerera, kapena mudadzipatula ndikuwakhumudwitsa chifukwa chogawana zambiri?

Anthu omwe ali okhwima m'maganizo amatha kufotokoza chisangalalo chawo kwa ena ngakhale atasintha mwadzidzidzi.

Kodi nthawi zambiri mumadyetsedwa ndi aliyense komanso chilichonse?

Mukakhala wokhwima pang'ono, dziko limadzaza ndi zokhumudwitsa zazing'ono, ndipo simudziwa mwayi wanu. Ganizirani kuti kangati patsiku mumadandaula za ena kapena zochitika zosiyanasiyana.

Kodi mumayamika kapena simukhalabe okonzanso zonse zomwe zalakwika? Kodi mukuwona momwe ena angaipire nazo?

Zinthu zikalakwika, kodi mumakonda kudziimba mlandu nokha kapena ena?

Ngakhale ndizochulukirapo kuposa kukhala ndi tsiku la nkhanu nthawi ndi nthawi, ngati mumadziimba mlandu kapena kupeza cholakwika ndi ena onse okuzungulirani, ndichizindikiro choti mutha kuyesetsa kuti mukule.

Kuphunzira kuwona momwe zinthu zilili ndi kudzimvera chisoni komanso kutengera chidwi - pomwe palibe chilichonse chakuda kapena choyera - kungakuthandizeni kuti musapewe vuto.

Kodi ndingatani kuti ndikule mwauzimu?

Phunzirani kuzindikira momwe mukumvera

Kuzindikira momwe mukumvera - kaya chisoni, mkwiyo, kapena manyazi - zingakuthandizeni kumvetsetsa chifukwa chomwe mukuchitira momwe muliri.

Monga masewera olimbitsa thupi, yesani kulemba kuchuluka kwa nthawi zomwe mudakhumudwitsidwa ndi ena m'mbiri yamlungu. Kenako yesani kuzindikira chimene chikukuchitikirani.

Izi zimakupatsani chidziwitso cha momwe mungayankhire pazochitika ndi zosowa zanu.

Siyani manyazi

Kuzindikira pomwe tikudzimvera chisoni titha kutipatsa bungwe kuti lisinthe.

Mwa kusiya manyazi, ndinu omasuka kuyang'anira moyo wanu ndikukhala mogwirizana ndi zofuna zanu m'malo mokhala ndi ziyembekezo za anthu ena.

Khazikitsani malire oyenera

Kukhala okhwima mwauzimu kumatanthauza kuti musalole aliyense kudutsa malire anu.

Ngati mumangocheza ndi winawake yemwe akufuna nthawi yanu, mwachitsanzo, kukhazikitsa malire ndikuwonetsa kuti simudzasokoneza ulemu wanu.

Osatsimikiza momwe mungachitire izi? Onani wowongolera wathu poteteza malo anu am'malingaliro.

Tengani zenizeni zanu

Onani moyo wanu ndikukhala ndiudindo pazabwino komanso zoyipa. Kukhala ndi umwini woterewu kungakuthandizeni kuwongolera zosankha zanu.

Kuphunzira kuzindikira mukalakwitsa kumakupatsani chidziwitso pakuziteteza kuti zisadzachitikenso mtsogolo, ndikupanga zisankho zina zoyipa kupita mtsogolo.

Onaninso ena mwachidwi

M'malo mochita zinthu wina akatenga chidwi, yesetsani kuwonetsa kudekha ndikumvetsetsa komwe akuchokera.

Khalani ndi chidwi ndi momwe mungafikire ena ndikupewa kuweruza machitidwe awo. M'malo mongonena mawu achipongwe a munthu wina, mutha kudziwa kuti ndi nthawi yoti musunthire paubwenzi wosavomerezeka.

Tsatirani chitsogozo cha wina

Kupeza munthu wodalirika yemwe angatithandizire kungatithandizenso kukulitsa kukula kwa malingaliro athu.

Tikawona winawake yemwe timamusilira akuthana ndi zovuta bwino, timakhala otengera kwambiri machitidwe awo.

Amatilola kuti tiwone kuti pali njira yabwinoko yothetsera malingaliro athu ndi momwe tingachitire ndi zochitika zokhumudwitsa.

Mfundo yofunika

Kudzizindikira tokha za kufunikira kwathu komanso kufunikira kwa ena ndizomwe zimatithandiza kukhala ndi moyo wosangalala komanso wopindulitsa.

Kupepesa kwa omwe tili nawo pafupi, kuvomereza pamene tikufuna thandizo, ndi kufunafuna chithandizo ndizo njira zokulitsira kukula kwathu patokha.

Tikamakhala okonzeka kuyang'anira machitidwe athu, ndipamene timapeza kulumikizana komanso kukhala owona.

Mwachidule, kukhwima ndi chisankho chomwe tonse tingapange pang'ono ndi pang'ono, tsiku ndi tsiku.

Cindy Lamothe ndi mtolankhani wodziyimira pawokha wokhala ku Guatemala. Amalemba zambiri zamalumikizidwe pakati pa thanzi, ukhondo, ndi sayansi yamakhalidwe amunthu. Adalembedwera The Atlantic, New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, Quartz, The Washington Post, ndi ena ambiri. Pezani iye pa cindylamothe.com.