Aliyense Akuweruza Anamwali Achikulire—Ngakhale Anamwali Achikulire

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Pali zinthu zina zomwe zakhala zikuyenda bwino kwa nthawi yayitali: ulemu, kudalira ndi kukhulupirika. Koma lingaliro la kudzisunga—kapena makamaka, unamwali—monga ukoma wasintha posachedwapa, makamaka m’chikhalidwe chimene kugonana musanakwatirane tsopano kuli chizolowezi. Taganizirani izi: Kodi ndinu wokwatira? Kodi munagonana? Ngati mwayankha inde kwa onse awiri, ndi iti yomwe idabwera koyamba? (Mkazi m'modzi amagawana: "Zomwe Ndaphunzira Kuyambira Zaka 10 za Kuyimilira Usiku Umodzi.")

Chowonadi nchakuti, ambiri aife tikusinthana ma v-khadi tisananene kuti "Ndimatero" - kotero gulu la ofufuza ochokera ku Indiana University adanyamuka kuti awone ngati pali manyazi okhalabe namwali, makamaka zikafika pakukhazikitsa maubwenzi achikondi. Chomwe anapeza chinali chakuti osati anamwali okha mawonekedwe iwowo ngati amasalidwa, amasalidwa ndi omwe adakhala nthawi yayitali m'thumba.

Kuti ndifike pazotsatira izi, zomwe zidasindikizidwa posachedwa mu Journal of Kafukufuku Wogonana Dr.Amanda Gesselman, Ph.D., ndi anzawo omwe adalemba nawo adalemba mafunso omwe adzilemba okha kuti amalize maphunziro ang'onoang'ono atatu-m'modzi kuti aone zaka zomwe akuyembekezeredwa kuti azigonana komanso malingaliro osalidwa, wina kuti awunikire ngati kusadziŵa zakugonana kumachepetsa mwayi wopeza zibwenzi komanso wachitatu kupititsa patsogolo abulu ngati chidziwitso chakugonana chimakhudza kukopa kwanu ngati mnzanu.

Zotsatira zawo zidawonetsa kuti zaka zapakati pomwe akuluakulu ku America amataya unamwali wawo ndi zaka 17; 90% ya anthu 22 mpaka 24 adagonana. Ndipo chinthu chonse chisanakwatirane? Makumi asanu ndi awiri mphambu asanu azaka 20 azaka zogonana asanamange mfundozo. (Kodi Ziwerengero Zanu Zogonana Zikufanana Bwanji?) Ripotilo lidapitiliza kuwonetsa kuti kukhala namwali, makamaka mtsogolo, kumatha kuchepetsa mwayi wokhala pachibwenzi. Mwachiwonekere, anthu osadziwa kugonana sanali okhutitsidwa kwambiri ngati okwatirana. Komanso, kafukufukuyu adapeza, achikulire osadziwa zogonana okha sanapeze akuluakulu ena osadziwa kukhala okonda maubwenzi. Zotsatira zoyipa zamunthuzi ndizosiyana kwambiri ndi maubwino akuthupi wokhala namwali, monga chitetezo kumatenda opatsirana pogonana komanso mimba zapathengo.

Mwina chomaliza chabwino koposa kuchotsera zonsezi? Lekani kuweruza-pali winawake kuposa v-khadi yake. (Ndipo onetsetsani kuti muwerenge mayiyu akutenga "Upangiri Wogonana Ndikulakalaka Ndikadadziwa Zaka 20 Zanga.")

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