Tikulephera Pakakhala Chifundo, Koma Chifukwa?

Zamkati

• Chifukwa chiyani anthu ena kapena zovuta zina amalandira chifundo chachikulu kuposa ena?
• Nchifukwa chiyani chifundo ndi chofunikira, komabe chili chovuta?
• Kodi tingatani kuti tikhale achifundo kwambiri?
• Nazi njira 10 zosonyezera chifundo:

Kukumana ndi zina monga kupita padera kapena chisudzulo kumakhala kopweteka kwambiri, koma makamaka tikapanda kupeza chithandizo ndi chisamaliro chomwe timafunikira.

Zaka zisanu zapitazo mwamuna wa Sarah * adakhetsa magazi mpaka kufa pamaso pake pomwe madotolo 40 amayesetsa kuti amupulumutse. Ana ake anali ndi zaka 3 ndi 5 panthawiyo, ndipo chochitika chodzidzimutsa komanso chosautsa ichi chidasintha dziko lawo.

Chomwe chinafika poipa kwambiri chinali chakuti Sarah sanalandire chithandizo kuchokera kubanja la mwamuna wake komanso thandizo locheperako kuchokera kwa abwenzi ake.

Pomwe apongozi ake samamvetsetsa chisoni cha Sarah komanso zovuta zake, abwenzi a Sarah adawoneka kuti akutalikirana ndi mantha.

Amayi ambiri amasiya chakudya pakhonde pake, amathamangira pagalimoto yawo, ndikuyenda mwachangu momwe angathere. Sikuti aliyense amabwera m'nyumba mwake ndipo amakhala naye limodzi ndi ana ake aang'ono. Ankangodandaula yekha.

Georgia * adachotsedwa ntchito pomwe Phokoso lachiyamutso la 2019 lisanakwane. Mayi wopanda mayi yemwe anali ndi makolo omwe adamwalira, analibe womutonthoza.

Pomwe abwenzi ake amamulimbikitsa, palibe amene adadzipereka kumusamalira, kumutumizira ntchito, kapena kumuthandiza pazachuma.

Monga wokhayo amene amasamalira komanso kusamalira mwana wake wamkazi wazaka 5, Georgia "sanasinthe." Kudzera mchisoni, kupsyinjika kwachuma, komanso mantha, Georgia adaphika, adatenga mwana wake wamkazi kusukulu, ndikumusamalira - onse payekha.

Komabe, a Beth Bridges atamwalira mamuna wawo wazaka 17 atadwala mwadzidzidzi, mwamantha, abwenzi nthawi yomweyo adathandizira kuwathandiza. Anali omvetsera komanso osamala, akumubweretsera chakudya, kupita naye kukadya kapena kukalankhula, kuwonetsetsa kuti akuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, komanso kukonza zopopera mafuta kapena zinthu zina zomwe zimafuna kukonzedwa.

Anamulola kuti adandaule ndikulira pagulu - koma sanamulole kuti azikhala mnyumba yake yekha ali yekhayekha ndi malingaliro ake.

Kodi nchifukwa chiyani Bridges adalandira chifundo chachikulu? Kodi zingakhale chifukwa chakuti Bridges anali pa gawo losiyana kwambiri m'moyo wake kuposa Sarah ndi Georgia?

Mabwalo amacheza a Bridges anali ndi abwenzi ndi anzawo omwe anali ndi zokumana nazo zambiri pamoyo wawo, ndipo ambiri adalandira thandizo lake pazochitika zawo zowawitsa.

Komabe, a Sarah ndi a Georgia, omwe adakumana ndi zipsinjo pomwe ana awo anali asanapite kusukulu, anali kucheza ndi anzawo achichepere, ambiri omwe anali asanakumanepo ndi zoopsa zina.

Kodi zinali zovuta kwambiri kuti anzawo omwe sanadziwe zambiri amvetsetse mavuto awo ndikudziwa thandizo lomwe angafunike? Kapena anzawo a Sarah ndi Georgia sanathe kupatula nthawiyo kuti azicheza ndi anzawo chifukwa ana awo aang'ono amafuna nthawi yawo yambiri ndi chisamaliro?

Kodi kulumikizana komwe kumawasiya pawokha kuli kuti?

"Mavuto abwera kwa tonsefe," adatero Dr. James S. Gordon, woyambitsa komanso wamkulu wa The Center for Mind-Body Medicine komanso wolemba buku la "The Transformation: Discovering Wholeness and Healing After Trauma."

"Ndizofunikira kumvetsetsa kuti ndi gawo la moyo, silopanda moyo," adatero. "Si chinthu chachilendo. Sichinthu china chodwala. Ndi gawo lopweteka kwambiri m'moyo wa aliyense posachedwa. "

Chifukwa chiyani anthu ena kapena zovuta zina amalandira chifundo chachikulu kuposa ena?

Malinga ndi akatswiri, ndikuphatikiza kusalana, kusamvetsetsa, komanso mantha.

Chidutswa cha manyazi chingakhale chosavuta kumva.

Pali zochitika zina - monga mwana yemwe ali ndi vuto losokoneza bongo, kusudzulana, kapena kuchotsedwa ntchito - pomwe ena angaganize kuti munthuyo ndiye wadzipangitsa yekha. Tikakhulupirira kuti ndi vuto lawo, sitingathe kupereka chithandizo chathu.

"Ngakhale kusalidwa ndichimodzi mwazifukwa zomwe wina sangalandire chifundo, nthawi zina kumakhalanso kusazindikira," adatero Dr. Maggie Tipton, PsyD, woyang'anira zamankhwala azachipatala ku Caron Treatment Center.

“Anthu sangadziwe momwe angayankhulire ndi munthu amene akukumana ndi zoopsa kapena momwe angamuthandizire. Zitha kuwoneka ngati palibe chifundo chachikulu pomwe chowonadi ndichakuti sakudziwa choti achite, "adatero. "Sangokhala opanda chifundo, koma kusatsimikizika komanso kusowa maphunziro kumabweretsa kuzindikira pang'ono komanso kumvetsetsa, chifukwa chake anthu samayesetsa kuthandiza munthu amene akukumana ndi zoopsazo."

Ndiyeno pali mantha.

Monga mayi wamasiye wachichepere mdera laling'ono, la posh ku Manhattan, Sarah amakhulupirira kuti amayi ena omwe ali kusukulu ya ana awo sanasunge chifukwa cha zomwe amaimira.

"Tsoka ilo, panali azimayi atatu okha omwe adachita chifundo," akukumbukira Sarah. “Amayi ena onse m'dera lathu sanapite kutchalitchi chifukwa ndinali nditawathera kwambiri. Ndinali chokumbutsa amayi onse achichepere awa kuti amuna awo amatha kufa nthawi iliyonse. ”

Mantha awa ndi zokumbutsa zomwe zitha kuchitika ndichifukwa chake makolo ambiri nthawi zambiri samakhala achifundo akamva padera kapena kutaya mwana.

Ngakhale kuti 10 peresenti yokha ya mimba yodziwika imathera padera, ndipo kuchuluka kwa ana kumwalira kwatsika kwambiri kuyambira zaka za m'ma 1980, kukumbutsidwa kuti izi zitha kuwachitikira kumapangitsa ena kusiya bwenzi lawo lomwe likuvutika.

Ena angawope kuti chifukwa ali ndi pakati kapena kuti mwana wawo ali moyo, kuwathandiza kumakumbutsa anzawo zomwe adataya.

Nchifukwa chiyani chifundo ndi chofunikira, komabe chili chovuta?

“Chifundo ndichofunika,” anatero Dr. Gordon. "Kulandila chifundo, kumvetsetsa kwina, ngakhale anthu atakhala nanu, ndiye mlatho wobwerera m'mbali yayikulu yamalingaliro am'maganizo."

"Aliyense amene amagwira ntchito ndi anthu opwetekedwa amamvetsetsa kufunikira kofunikira kwa zomwe akatswiri azama psychology amatcha chithandizo," adanenanso.

Malinga ndi Dr. Tipton, iwo omwe samalandira chifundo chomwe amafunikira amakhala osungulumwa. Kulimbana ndi nthawi yovuta nthawi zambiri kumapangitsa kuti anthu abwerere, ndipo akapanda kuthandizidwa, zimalimbikitsanso kufunitsitsa kwawo.

"Zimakhala zopweteka kwa munthu ngati samvetsa chifundo chomwe amafunikira," adalongosola. “Ayamba kukhala osungulumwa kwambiri, opsinjika maganizo, ndi osungulumwa. Ndipo, ayamba kufotokoza za malingaliro awo olakwika okhudzana ndi iwo eni ndi momwe zinthu ziliri, zambiri zomwe sizowona. "

Chifukwa chake ngati tikudziwa kuti mnzathu kapena wachibale akuvutika, ndichifukwa chiyani kuli kovuta kuwathandiza?

Dr. Gordon adalongosola kuti ngakhale anthu ena amayankha mwachifundo, ena amayankha ndikudzilekanitsa chifukwa malingaliro awo amawakunda, kuwasiya sangathe kuyankha ndikuthandiza munthu amene akusowa thandizo.

Kodi tingatani kuti tikhale achifundo kwambiri?

"Ndikofunika kumvetsetsa momwe timayankhira kwa anthu ena," Dr. Gordon adalangiza. "Tikamamvera kwa mnzake, timayenera kaye tidziwe zomwe zikuchitika ndi ife eni. Tiyenera kuzindikira momwe timamvera mumtima mwathu ndikuzindikira momwe ife tingayankhire. Kenako, tiyenera kumasuka ndikufunsa munthu amene wavutikayo. ”

“Mukamaganizira kwambiri za iwo ndi momwe alili vuto lawo, muwona momwe mungathandizire. Nthawi zambiri, kungokhala ndi munthu wina kumatha kukhala kokwanira, ”adatero.

Nazi njira 10 zosonyezera chifundo:

1. Vomerezani kuti simunakhalepo ndi izi kale ndipo simungathe kulingalira momwe ziyenera kukhalira kwa iwo. Afunseni zomwe akufuna tsopano, kenako chitani.
2. Ngati mwakumana ndi zomwezo, kumbukirani kuti muziyang'ana kwambiri za munthuyu ndi zosowa zake. Nenani zonga izi: "Pepani kuti mwakumana ndi izi. Ifenso tadutsamo, ndipo ngati mungafune kuti tidzakambirane nthawi ina, ndidzakhala wokondwa kutero. Koma, mufunika chiyani pompano? ”
3. Osamawauza kuti akuyimbireni ngati akufuna chilichonse. Izi ndizovuta komanso zosasangalatsa kwa munthu wopwetekedwa mtima. M'malo mwake, auzeni zomwe mukufuna kuchita ndikufunsani tsiku labwino kwambiri.
4. Pemphani kuti muwone ana awo, kunyamula ana awo kupita kapena kuchokera kuntchito, kupita kukagula zinthu, ndi zina zambiri.
5. Khalani nawo ndikuchita zinthu wamba monga kuyenda limodzi kapena kuwonera kanema.
6. Pumulani ndi kuyang'anitsitsa zomwe zikuchitika. Yankhani, funsani mafunso, ndikuvomereza zachilendo kapena zachisoni mikhalidwe yawo.
7. Aitaneni kuti adzakhale nanu kapena banja lanu kumapeto kwa sabata kuti asasungulumwe.
8. Ikani chikumbutso m'kalendala yanu kuti muziimbira kapena kutumizirana mameseji mlungu uliwonse.
9. Pewani kuyesedwa kuti muyesere kuwongolera. Khalani nawo monga momwe aliri.
10. Ngati mukukhulupirira kuti amafunikira upangiri kapena gulu lothandizira, athandizireni kupeza komwe angapeze zambiri za iwo, aphunzire njira zodzisamalira, ndikupita patsogolo.

Mayina asinthidwa kuti ateteze chinsinsi.

Gia Miller ndi mtolankhani wodziyimira pawokha, wolemba, komanso wolemba nkhani yemwe amafotokoza zaumoyo, thanzi lam'mutu, ndi kulera. Akukhulupirira kuti ntchito yake imalimbikitsa zokambirana zabwino ndikuthandizira ena kumvetsetsa bwino zaumoyo ndi malingaliro. Mutha kuwona kusankha kwa ntchito yake pano.