Momwe Mungakhalire Bwanu wa Zotengeka Zanu

Zamkati

• 1. Onani momwe mtima wanu umakhudzira moyo wanu
• 2. Cholinga cha malamulo, osati kuponderezana
• 3. Dziwani zomwe mukumva
• 4. Landirani momwe mukumvera - onse
• 5. Sungani nkhani yokhudza mtima wanu
• 6. Pumirani kwambiri
• 7. Dziwani nthawi yolankhula
• 8. Dzipatseni malo
• 9. Yesani kusinkhasinkha
• 10. Khalani pamwamba pamavuto
• 11. Lankhulani ndi wothandizira
• Ngati mukufuna thandizo pano

Kutha kuzindikira ndikufotokozera zakumtima ndikofunikira kuposa momwe mungaganizire.

Monga momwe mumverera poyankha pazochitika zina, kutengeka kumawathandiza kwambiri pakuchita kwanu. Mukamayanjana nawo, mumakhala ndi chidziwitso chofunikira chomwe chimathandiza ndi:

• kupanga zisankho
• ubale wabwino
• Kuyanjana kwa tsiku ndi tsiku
• kudzisamalira

Ngakhale kutengeka kumatha kukhala ndi gawo lothandiza pamoyo wanu watsiku ndi tsiku, kumatha kuwononga thanzi lanu komanso maubale anu pomwe amayamba kumva kuti alibe mphamvu.

Vicki Botnick, wothandizira ku Tarzana, California, akufotokoza izi zilizonse kutengeka - ngakhale kukondwa, chisangalalo, kapena ena omwe mumawona ngati abwino - atha kukulirakulira mpaka kufika povuta kuwongolera.

Mukazolowera pang'ono, mutha kubwezera izi. Onetsani kuti kukhala ndi maluso oyendetsera bwino pamalingaliro kumalumikizidwa ndi thanzi. Kuphatikiza apo, wachiwiriyo adapeza kulumikizana komwe kungakhalepo pakati pa malusowa ndi kuchita bwino kwachuma, chifukwa chake kuyika gawo lina patsogolo kungakhale kopindulitsa.

Nawa zokuthandizani kuti muyambe.

1. Onani momwe mtima wanu umakhudzira moyo wanu

Kutengeka kwakukulu sikuli koipa konse.

"Kutengeka kumapangitsa miyoyo yathu kukhala yosangalatsa, yapadera, komanso yosangalatsa," akutero Botnick. "Kumva kwamphamvu kumatha kutanthauza kuti timakumbatiranso moyo, kuti sitikupondereza zomwe timachita."

Ndizabwinobwino kukhala ndi nkhawa nthawi zina- pamene chinthu chodabwitsa chimachitika, pamene china chake choopsa chimachitika, mukamamva ngati mwaphonya.

Kotero, mumadziwa bwanji kuti pali vuto?

Maganizo omwe nthawi zambiri amatuluka amatha kutsogolera ku:

• kusamvana pachibwenzi kapena paubwenzi
• zovuta zokhudzana ndi ena
• vuto kuntchito kapena kusukulu
• chilimbikitso chogwiritsa ntchito zinthu zokuthandizani kuthana ndi malingaliro anu
• kuphulika kwakuthupi kapena kwamalingaliro

Pezani nthawi yoti muwerenge za Bwanji mtima wanu wosadziletsa umakhudza moyo wanu watsiku ndi tsiku. Izi zidzakupangitsani kukhala kosavuta kuzindikira madera omwe ali ndi zovuta (ndikuwunika kupambana kwanu).

2. Cholinga cha malamulo, osati kuponderezana

Simungathe kuwongolera malingaliro anu ndi kuyimba (zikadakhala zosavuta!). Koma taganizirani, kwakanthawi, kuti inu akhoza sungani malingaliro motere.

Simungafune kuwasiya akuthamanga nthawi zonse nthawi zonse. Simufunanso kuzimitsa kwathunthu, mwina.

Mukapondereza kapena kupondereza kutengeka, mukudzitchinjiriza kuti musakhale ndi chiwonetsero. Izi zitha kuchitika mosazindikira (kupondereza) kapena mosazindikira (kupondereza).

Zonsezi zitha kuthandizira kuzizindikiro zamaganizidwe amthupi, kuphatikiza:

• nkhawa
• kukhumudwa
• nkhani za kugona
• kupweteka kwa minofu ndi kupweteka
• Kuvuta kuthana ndi kupsinjika
• Kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala molakwika

Mukamaphunzira kuwongolera zam'malingaliro, onetsetsani kuti simukungowasesa pansi pa rug. Kulongosola kwamalingaliro athanzi kumaphatikizapo kukhala wolingalira pakati pa zotopetsa komanso osakhudzidwa konse.

3. Dziwani zomwe mukumva

Kutenga kanthawi kuti mudziwe nokha za momwe mungasangalalire kungakuthandizeni kuti muyambenso kuyambiranso.

Nenani kuti mwakhala mukuwona wina kwa miyezi ingapo. Munayesa kukonzekera tsiku sabata yatha, koma adati alibe nthawi. Dzulo, munatumiziranso mameseji, ndikuti, "Ndikufuna kukuwonani posachedwa. Kodi mungakumane sabata ino? ”

Potsirizira pake amayankha, patadutsa tsiku limodzi kuti: "Sindingathe. Tanganidwa."

Mwadzidzidzi mwakhumudwa kwambiri. Popanda kuyimilira kuti muganizire, mumangoponya foni yanu mchipinda chonse, kugogoda dengu lanu, ndikumenya tebulo lanu, ndikupukuta chala chanu.

Dzisokonezeni nokha mwa kufunsa:

• Kodi ndikumva chiyani pompano? (wokhumudwa, wosokonezeka, wokwiya)
• Kodi chinachitika n'chiyani kuti ndizimva chonchi? (Sanandichotsere popanda kufotokoza.)
• Kodi nkhaniyi ili ndi malongosoledwe ena omwe angakhale omveka? (Mwinamwake ali opanikizika, odwala, kapena kuthana ndi chinthu china chomwe samamasuka kuchifotokozera. Angakonzekere kufotokoza zambiri momwe angathere.)
• Kodi ndikufuna nditani pamalingaliro awa? (Fuulani, onetsani kukhumudwa kwanga mwa kuponya zinthu, kulemberaninso chinthu china chamwano.)
• Kodi pali njira ina yabwino yolimbanirana nawo? (Funsani ngati zonse zili bwino. Funsani ngati adzakhalanso omasuka. Pitani kokayenda kapena muthamange.)

Poganizira njira zina zomwe mungakhale nazo, mukukonzanso malingaliro anu, omwe angakuthandizeni kusintha zomwe mumachita poyamba.

Zitha kutenga nthawi kuti yankho ili lisakhale chizolowezi. Mwachizolowezi, kutsata njira izi m'mutu mwanu kumakhala kosavuta (komanso kothandiza).

4. Landirani momwe mukumvera - onse

Ngati mukuyesetsa kuchita bwino pakuwongolera zomwe mukumva, mutha kuyesa kuchepetsa malingaliro anu.

Mukamagwira ntchito mwapafupipafupi mutalandira uthenga wabwino kapena kugwa pansi ndikufuula ndikulira ngati simukupeza makiyi anu, zingawoneke zothandiza kudziuza nokha, "Ingodikiranitu," kapena "Sichinthu chachikulu, choncho don sindinasangalale nazo. ”

Koma izi zimapangitsa ntchito yanu kukhala yopanda tanthauzo. Icho ndi chinthu chachikulu kwa inu.

Kulandila momwe akumvera kumakuthandizani kuti mukhale omasuka nawo. Kuchulukitsa chitonthozo chanu pokhudzidwa kwambiri kumakupatsani mwayi kuti mumve bwino popanda kuchitapo kanthu mopanda tanthauzo.

Kuti muyesere kuvomereza zotengeka, yesani kuwawona ngati amithenga. Sali "abwino" kapena "oyipa." Saloŵerera m'ndale. Mwinamwake amabweretsa malingaliro osasangalatsa nthawi zina, komabe akupatsabe chidziwitso chofunikira chomwe mungagwiritse ntchito.

Mwachitsanzo, yesani:

• “Ndakhumudwa chifukwa ndimangotaya makiyi anga, zomwe zimandichedwetsa. Ndiyenera kuyika mbale pashelefu pafupi ndi khomo kotero ndimakumbukira kuwasiya pamalo omwewo. ”

Kulola kukhudzidwa kumatha kukhutiritsa moyo komanso kuchepa kwa matenda amisala. Kuphatikiza apo, anthu amaganiza zakumverera kwawo ngati magawo apamwamba achimwemwe.

5. Sungani nkhani yokhudza mtima wanu

Kulemba (kapena kulemba) momwe mukumvera komanso mayankho omwe angakuthandizeni kungakuthandizeni kuzindikira zosokoneza zilizonse.

Nthawi zina, zimakhala zokwanira kutsata malingaliro kumbuyo kwa malingaliro anu. Kuyika malingaliro papepala kumatha kukulolani kuti muganizire mozama za iwo.

Zimathandizanso kuzindikira pomwe zochitika zina, monga zovuta kuntchito kapena mikangano yabanja, zimathandizira kuti mukhale ovuta kudziletsa. Kuzindikira zoyambitsa kumapangitsa kukhala ndi njira zothanirana bwino.

Kujambula kumapereka phindu lalikulu mukamachita tsiku ndi tsiku. Sungani zolemba zanu nanu ndikulemba zakukhosi kwanu kapena momwe akumvera mukamachitika. Yesetsani kuzindikira zomwe zimayambitsa komanso zomwe mumachita. Ngati zomwe mumachita sizinakuthandizeni, gwiritsani ntchito zolemba zanu kuti mupeze njira zina zothandiza mtsogolo.

6. Pumirani kwambiri

Pali zambiri zoti zizinenedwe ndi mphamvu ya mpweya wakuya, kaya ndinu osangalala mwansangala kapena wokwiya kwambiri simungathe kuyankhula.

Kuchepetsa ndi kusamala mpweya wanu sikungapangitse kuti kutengeka (ndi kukumbukira, sicholinga).

Komabe, kupuma kokwanira angathe kukuthandizani kuti mudzichepetse nokha ndikubwerera pang'onopang'ono kuchokera pakumverera koyamba kwazomwe mukuchita komanso zomwe mungachite kuti mupewe.

Nthawi yotsatira mukadzimva kuti mukuyamba kulamulira:

• Pumirani pang'onopang'ono. Mpweya wakuya umachokera pachikopa, osati pachifuwa. Zitha kuthandizira kuwona mpweya wanu ukukwera kuchokera m'mimba mwanu.
• Gwirani. Gwirani mpweya wanu kuti muwerenge atatu, kenako muwutulutse pang'onopang'ono.
• Talingalirani za mantra. Anthu ena zimawawona kukhala zothandiza kubwereza mawu, monga "Ndili wodekha" kapena "Ndili womasuka."

7. Dziwani nthawi yolankhula

Pali nthawi ndi malo pachilichonse, kuphatikizapo kutengeka kwakukulu. Kulira mosatonthozana ndi njira yodziwika bwino pakamwalira wokondedwa, mwachitsanzo. Kulira mumtsamiro, ngakhale kuumenya, kungakuthandizeni kuti muchepetse mkwiyo komanso kupsinjika mutaponyedwa.

Komabe, zochitika zina zimafuna kudziletsa. Ngakhale mutakhala okhumudwa bwanji, kulalatira abwana anu chifukwa chakuwongolera mosalongosoka sikungakuthandizeni.

Kukumbukira malo omwe muli komanso momwe zingakhalire kungakuthandizeni kudziwa nthawi yoyenera kutulutsa zakukhosi komanso pomwe mungafune kukhala nawo kwakanthawi.

8. Dzipatseni malo

Kutalikirana pang'ono ndikumverera kwakukulu kumatha kukuthandizani kuti muwonetsetse kuti mukuchita nawo m'njira zomveka, malinga ndi Botnick.

Mtunda uwu ukhoza kukhala wakuthupi, monga kusiya vuto, mwachitsanzo. Koma mutha kupanganso mtunda wamaganizidwe podzidodometsa nokha.

Ngakhale simukufuna kutsekereza kapena kupewa kukhudzika kwathunthu, sizowopsa kudzisokoneza nokha mpaka mutakhala pamalo abwino oti muthane nawo. Onetsetsani kuti chitani kubwerera kwa iwo. Zosokoneza zathanzi ndizakanthawi.

Yesani:

• kuyenda
• akuwonera kanema woseketsa
• kulankhula ndi wokondedwa
• kuthera mphindi zochepa ndi chiweto chanu

9. Yesani kusinkhasinkha

Ngati mukuyesa kusinkhasinkha kale, itha kukhala imodzi mwanjira zanu zothanirana ndi kukhumudwa kwambiri.

Kusinkhasinkha kungakuthandizeni kukulitsa kuzindikira kwanu zakumverera konse ndi zokumana nazo. Mukasinkhasinkha, mumadziphunzitsa nokha kukhala pansi ndi malingaliro amenewo, kuti muwazindikire osadziweruza nokha kapena kuyesa kuwasintha kapena kuwapangitsa kuti achoke.

Monga tafotokozera pamwambapa, kuphunzira kuvomereza zonse zomwe mungakonde kumatha kupanga malamulo am'maganizo kukhala osavuta. Kusinkhasinkha kumakuthandizani kukulitsa maluso olandila. Zimaperekanso maubwino ena, monga kukuthandizani kupumula ndi kugona bwino.

Kuwongolera kwathu kosiyanasiyana pakusinkhasinkha kungakuthandizeni kuti muyambe.

10. Khalani pamwamba pamavuto

Mukakhala ndi nkhawa zambiri, kuwongolera malingaliro anu kumatha kukhala kovuta kwambiri. Ngakhale anthu omwe amatha kuwongolera momwe akumvera mumtima amatha kupezako zovuta nthawi yamavuto komanso kupsinjika.

Kuchepetsa kupsinjika, kapena kupeza njira zina zothandiza zothanirana ndi izi, kumatha kuthandizira kutengeka kwanu.

Kulingalira monga kusinkhasinkha kungathandizenso kupsinjika. Sazichotsa, koma amatha kuzipanga kukhala zosavuta kukhala nazo.

Njira zina zothanirana ndi nkhawa ndi izi:

• kugona mokwanira
• kupanga nthawi yolankhula (ndi kuseka) ndi anzanu
• kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi
• kuthera nthawi m'chilengedwe
• kupanga nthawi yopuma komanso zosangalatsa

11. Lankhulani ndi wothandizira

Ngati nkhawa yanu ikupitilizabe, mwina ndi nthawi yoti mupeze chithandizo cha akatswiri.

Kutaya mtima kwakanthawi kwakanthawi kapena kupitiriza komanso kusinthasintha kwamaganizidwe kumalumikizidwa ndi matenda ena amisala, kuphatikiza m'malire aumunthu ndi matenda osinthasintha zochitika. Mavuto owongolera kutengeka atha kugwirizananso ndi zoopsa, mavuto am'banja, kapena zovuta zina, Botnick akufotokoza.

Katswiri wothandizira amatha kupereka chithandizo chachisoni, chosaweruza monga inu:

• fufuzani zomwe zimayambitsa kusokonezeka
• kuthana ndi kusinthasintha kwamphamvu
• phunzirani momwe mungachepetsere kutengeka mtima kwambiri kapena khalani bwino pamalingaliro ochepa
• khalani ndi zovuta komanso zosintha zomwe zimabweretsa mavuto

Kusinthasintha kwamalingaliro ndi kutengeka mtima kwambiri kumatha kubutsa malingaliro olakwika kapena osafunikira omwe pamapeto pake amadzetsa chiyembekezo kapena kutaya mtima.

Kuzungulira kumeneku kumatha kudzetsa njira zopanda pake monga kudzivulaza kapena malingaliro ofuna kudzipha. Mukayamba kuganiza zodzipha kapena mukufuna kudzivulaza, lankhulani ndi wokondedwa amene mumamukhulupirira yemwe angakuthandizeni kupeza thandizo nthawi yomweyo.

Ngati mukufuna thandizo pano

Ngati mukuganiza zodzipha kapena mukuganiza zodzipweteka nokha, mutha kuyimbira Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration ku 800-662-HELP (4357).

Hotline ya 24/7 ikulumikizani ndi zithandizo zamaganizidwe mdera lanu. Akatswiri ophunzitsidwa amathanso kukuthandizani kuti mupeze zofunikira za boma lanu ngati mulibe inshuwaransi yazaumoyo.

Crystal Raypole adagwirapo ntchito ngati wolemba komanso mkonzi wa GoodTherapy. Magawo ake achidwi akuphatikiza zilankhulo ndi mabuku aku Asia, kumasulira kwachijapani, kuphika, sayansi yachilengedwe, chiyembekezo chogonana, komanso thanzi lamaganizidwe. Makamaka, akudzipereka kuthandiza kuchepetsa manyazi pazokhudza matenda amisala.