Kuphunzira Kusiya

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Simungathe kusiya wokondedwa wanu, mumalakalaka mutakhala kuti mumakhala nthawi yocheperako pantchito ndikukhala ndi nthawi yambiri yocheza ndi ana, muli ndi kabati yodzaza ndi zovala zomwe sizikukwanirani - koma simungathe kupatula . Kodi zochitika izi zikufanana bwanji? "Onse amakulemetsani, amakusiyani inu m'mbuyomu," akutero a Ryan Howes, Ph.D., katswiri wamaganizidwe ku Pasadena, California. Tidatembenukira kwa akatswiri kuti tipeze njira zabwino zothanirana ndi zovuta zazikulu: Mkwiyo, chisoni, wakale wanu ndi zovala zomwe sizikukwanira. Kuphunzira kulolera sikophweka, koma kumakhutiritsa modabwitsa, kukusiyirani malo m'moyo mwanu chinthu china chabwinoko.

Momwe Mungalekere Mkwiyo

Ngakhale sizachilendo kukwiya wina akakulakwitsa, zimakhala zosavomerezeka mukalephera kuyambiranso. Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., wofufuza pa yunivesite ya California, Riverside anati: “Kubwerezanso zolakwazo mobwerezabwereza ndi chinthu chosatha chomwe chimangowonjezera mkwiyo wanu ndi kukufooketsani mphamvu.

Ochita kafukufuku akuti alembe zonse zomwe zidachitika komanso momwe mumamvera. "Kulemba mawu pamapepala kumakukakamizani kuti mubwerere m'mbuyo, kukhala ndi cholinga, ndikulemba maganizo anu," akutero Lyubomirsky. "Kulowa m'mawunikidwe kumapangitsa kuti chochitikacho chisakhale chaumwini ndikukupangitsani kuti mumvetsetse zifukwa zomwe zachititsa kuti muthe kuzisiya."

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Ndi anthu ochepa amene amadutsa m'moyo popanda kudabwa za njira yomwe sinatsatidwe kapena kulakalaka akadapanga chisankho china pamphambano yofunika kwambiri. "Ndi gawo la kukhala munthu," akutero Caroline Adams Miller, wolemba Kupanga Moyo Wanu Wapamwamba. "Kulingalira kwachiwiri kumayambira mzaka za m'ma 20s pazinthu monga kusachita chibwenzi kapena kusankha wamkulu wolakwika ku koleji. Ndipo pakati pausiku, kukayikira kwanu kumatha kukhala pazosankha zakale - kuti simunasiye ntchito yosakhutiritsa zaka kale kapena kukhala ndi ana pamene unali wamng’ono.”

Ngati mumapezeka kuti mukufunsa, "Bwanji ngati?" ndicho chizindikiro kuti pali chinachake chikusowa m'moyo wanu, ndipo muyenera kuganizira kumvetsera maloto amenewo, akutero Miller. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mukudzikankha kuti mwakhazikika pantchito yokhazikika m'malo motsatira kukonda kwanu kuchita masewerawa, yesani kupanga zomwe zisudzo kwanuko kuti muwone zomwe zikuchitika.

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Sikuti kudzimvera chisoni konse ndikosavuta kusiya. Miller akunena kuti muzochitika zomwe simungathe kubwerera m'mbuyo ndikukonza zonse, muyenera kuzindikira kuti munachita zonse zomwe mungathe panthawiyo. Koma musalole kuti musiye kwathunthu. "Ndi zowawa zazing'ono zazing'ono zomwe zimatithandiza kukhala anthu abwinoko," akutero a Miller. "Mwina pali zinthu zina zomwe mungachite tsopano kuti mukonze."

Momwe Mungasiyire Zomverera za Ex

Chibwenzi chakale nthawi zambiri chimakhala ngati imfa malinga ndi Terri Orbuch, wolemba wa Njira 5 Zosavuta Zochotsera Ukwati Wanu Kuchokera Pabwino Kupita Paukulu. “Chinthu chimodzi chovuta kuvomereza ndicho kutha kwa chibwenzi,” akutero. Ndipo, ndi mtima wanu ndi malingaliro odyedwa ndi wakale wanu, palibe mwayi wopeza munthu wodabwitsa wotsatira.

Ngati mumakondanabe ndi chibwenzi chanu chakale, muchotsereni moyo wanu. Choyamba, chotsani zinthu zonse zomwe muli nazo zomwe zimakukumbutsani za iye. Onetsetsani kuti mwapewa maunyamata anu akale ndikuyesera kuti musinthe miyambo yomwe mudachita ngati banja ndi yatsopano.

Kenako, Orbuch akuti, dzifunseni ngati mukumusowadi kapena ngati mwasungulumwa. Yesani: Lembani makhalidwe asanu omwe ali ofunika kwa inu ndipo muwone ngati akugwirizana ndi zomwe iye anali nazo. Orbuch akuti: "Nthawi zambiri, wakale wanu samakhala ndi zomwe mumafuna komanso zomwe mukufuna." Simunakhutitsidwebe? Funsani anzanu ndi abale anu kuti akuwonetseni. Orbuch anati: “Timakonda kuiwala zoipa n’kumaganizira zabwino. "Koma anthu ena m'moyo wathu satero."

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Momwe Mungasiyire Zovala Zosakwanira

Mungaganize kuti zovala zodzaza ndi zovala zazing'ono kwambiri ndizolimbikitsa kutaya mapaundi 10-koma ndizosiyana. "Matumbawa akulu 6 omwe angawoneke bwino mukameta kunenepa ali pafupi ndi tsogolo lomwe mumakhala lowonda," akutero a Peter Walsh, wolemba Yatsani: Kondani zomwe muli nazo, khalani ndi zomwe mukusowa, khalani osangalala ndi zochepa. "Koma amatsogolera kukupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu olephera." Kusunga kavalidwe ka "zovala zonona" kumathandizanso mofananamo, kutanthauza kuti mutha kunenepa nthawi iliyonse.

Yankho lake si sayansi ya rocket. "Dutsani chidutswa chilichonse," akutero Walsh. "Dzifunseni kuti, 'Kodi izi zikuwonjezera moyo wanga pompano?' “Khalani wankhanza. Ngati yankho liri ayi, perekani. Mwa kuchotsa zovala zokhumba, mumamasula malo azidutswa zomwe zimapangitsa thupi lanu lamakono kuti liziwoneka lodabwitsa.

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Zambiri pa Momwe Mungalekerere:

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• Momwe Mungaphunzirire pa Zolakwa Zanu

•Ngati Mukuchita Chinthu Chimodzi Mwezi Uno…Chotsani Foni Yanu Yam'manja

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