Mavuto Amayi Pakati pa Akazi: Momwe Mungapezere Ndalama Zanu Zasiliva

Zamkati

• Kodi vuto lakumapeto kwaubwana ndi lopeka?
• Nanga mavuto azaka zapakati paubwana amawoneka bwanji mwa akazi?
• Nchiyani chimabweretsa mavuto azimayi?
• Mbali ina ya thupi
• Zimawoneka pang'ono
• Ndipo mwina ndi zachikhalidwe
• Kodi mungatani?
• Zovala zasiliva

Timaphatikizapo zinthu zomwe timaganiza kuti ndizothandiza kwa owerenga athu. Ngati mutagula maulalo omwe ali patsamba lino, titha kupeza ndalama zochepa. Nayi njira yathu.

Zili ngati mukuyang'ana Wizard ya Oz kumbuyo. Tsiku lina, aliyense akuyimba ndi kuvina. Mitunduyi ndi yolimba - mizinda ya emerald, ma ruby ​​slippers, njerwa zachikaso - ndipo chinthu chotsatira mukudziwa, chilichonse ndi chakuda ndi choyera, chafota ngati munda wa tirigu waku Kansas.

Kodi muli ndi vuto laubwana? Mungadziwe bwanji ngati zomwe mukumva, kapena ayi kumverera, kodi ndimavuto a kukhumudwa, kuyamba kusamba pang'ono pang'ono, kapena gawo labwinobwino la kusintha kuchokera pagawo lina lamoyo kupita lina?

Kodi vuto lakumapeto kwaubwana ndi lopeka?

Kwa nthawi yayitali, akatswiri azaumoyo akhala akutsutsana ngati mavuto azaka zapakati pa moyo wa mwana ndi enieni. Mawu oti "mavuto azachisangalalo," sichidziwikiratu kuti matenda amisala amadziwika. Ndipo ngakhale anthu ambiri atha kukuwuzani vuto lomwe limakhalapo pakati pausinkhu wa ana asanakwane, kafukufuku wina wa nthawi yayitali adapeza kuti ndi 26 okha aku America omwe akuti anali nawo.

Ziribe kanthu zomwe timazitcha, nthawi yayitali ya malaise ndi kufunsa mafunso pakati pa 40 ndi 60 pafupifupi pafupifupi konsekonse mwa amuna ndi akazi. Ofufuza akhala akudziwa kwazaka zambiri kuti chisangalalo chimafika pakuchepa musanapitenso patsogolo tikamakula. M'malo mwake, ma graph angapo owoneka ngati U amajambula mapiri ndi zigwa zakukhutira kwawo, pomwe kafukufuku waposachedwa akuwonetsa kusiyana pakati pa abambo ndi amai.

Nanga mavuto azaka zapakati paubwana amawoneka bwanji mwa akazi?

Zikuwoneka ngati ndikulira mpaka kubwerera kunyumba kusiya mwana wanu wopita ku koleji. Zikuwoneka ngati ndikupatula pamsonkhano wamisonkhano chifukwa simukudziwa chifukwa chake mukugwira ntchitoyi. Zikuwoneka ngati kuyitanidwanso kukugundana ndi zinyalala chifukwa simunakhale zonse zomwe mumafuna kukhala. Monga kudzuka pakati pausiku, wokutidwa ndi nkhawa zachuma. Monga kusudzulana. Ndi kusamalira kotopa. Ndipo m'chiuno simukuzindikira.

Mavuto a Midlife nthawi ina adatanthauzidwa molingana ndi zikhalidwe za akazi: Amayi adasokonezeka ndikukhumudwitsidwa ndikusintha kwa ubale wawo komanso amuna pakusintha ntchito. Pomwe azimayi ambiri amachita ntchito zantchito ndikukhala opezera ndalama, nkhawa zawo zakukalamba zakula. Zomwe mavuto azakudya zimawoneka ngati zimadalira mayi yemwe akukumana nazo.

Nchiyani chimabweretsa mavuto azimayi?

Monga Nora Ephron adanenera kale, "Simudzakhala - okhazikika, osasinthika - kwamuyaya." Tonsefe timasintha, ndipo vuto lakukalamba ndi umboni.

Mbali ina ya thupi

Pakati pa nthawi yoleka msinkhu komanso kusintha kwa msambo, kusintha kwa mahomoni kumatha kuyambitsa kapena kuyambitsa vuto. Malinga ndi madokotala a Mayo Clinic, kuchepa kwa estrogen ndi progesterone kumatha kusokoneza tulo tanu, kukupangitsani kuti mukhale osasangalala, komanso kuchepetsa mphamvu zanu. Kusamba kumathandizanso kukumbukira kukumbukira, kuda nkhawa, kunenepa, komanso kuchepetsa chidwi cha zinthu zomwe mumakonda.

Zimawoneka pang'ono

Mukamafika zaka zapakati, ndizotheka kuti mudzakhala mukukumana ndi zoopsa kapena kutayika. Imfa ya wachibale, kusintha kwakukulu kumakhalidwe anu, chisudzulo, kuzunzidwa mwakuthupi kapena m'maganizo, magawo akusalidwa, kutaya chonde, matenda opanda chisa, ndi zokumana nazo zina mwina zakusiyirani chisoni. Mutha kudzipeza nokha mukukayikira zikhulupiriro zanu zakuya komanso zosankha zanu zotsimikiza.

Ndipo mwina ndi zachikhalidwe

Gulu lathu lotengera chidwi cha achinyamata nthawi zonse silimakomera mtima azimayi okalamba. Monga azimayi ambiri, mutha kumva kuti simukuwoneka mukangofika zaka zapakati. Mutha kukhala ndi nkhawa kuti musabisale za ukalamba. Mwina mukuvutika kusamalira ana anu komanso makolo anu okalamba nthawi yomweyo. Muyenera kuti munapanga zisankho zovuta zokhudzana ndi banja komanso ntchito zomwe amuna anu sankafunika kuchita. Ndipo kusudzulana kapena kusiyana kwa malipiro kungatanthauze kuti mumakhala ndi nkhawa zazachuma.

Kodi mungatani?

Mu "Kuphunzira Kuyenda Mumdima," a Barbara Brown Taylor afunsa, "Ndingatani ndikadatsata chimodzi mwazinthu zanga zazikulu mpaka kumapeto kwa phompho, ndikupuma, ndikupitilizabe? Palibe mwayi wodabwitsidwa ndi zomwe zichitike pambuyo pake? " Midlife atha kukhala mwayi wabwino kwambiri wodziwa.

Ngati asayansi a U-curve akunena zowona, kuchepa kwa msinkhu wanu kumatha kudzithetsa nokha mukamakula. Koma ngati mukufuna kukoka singano pamamita anu okhutira posachedwa, Nazi zina zomwe mungachite. Lankhulani ndi dokotala. Zizindikiro zambiri zamavuto akanthawi kochepa zimakhala ndi kukhumudwa, nkhawa, komanso kusamvana kwama mahomoni. Ngati mukukumana ndi vuto lakumapeto kwa moyo wapakati, dokotala wanu akhoza kukupatsani mankhwala othandizira mahomoni, mankhwala opatsirana pogonana, kapena mankhwala oletsa nkhawa kuti akuthandizeni pazizindikiro zanu.

Lankhulani ndi wothandizira. Chithandizo chazidziwitso, kuphunzitsa moyo, kapena chithandizo chamagulu chingakuthandizeni kuthana ndi chisoni, kuthana ndi nkhawa, ndikukonzekera njira yakukwaniritsidwira.

Lankhulani ndi anzanu. Kafukufuku wa 2012 akuwonetsa zomwe akazi ambiri amadziwa kuchokera pazomwe adakumana nazo: Midlife ndiyosavuta ngati mukuzunguliridwa ndi abwenzi. Amayi omwe ali ndi anzawo amakhala ndi moyo wabwino kuposa omwe alibe. Ngakhale mamembala am'banja samakhala ndi gawo lalikulu.

Gwirizaninso ndi chilengedwe. Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti kuthera nthawi panja, ngakhale kwa mphindi zochepa patsiku, kumatha kukulimbikitsani komanso kusintha malingaliro anu. Kukhala pansi m'mphepete mwa nyanja, komanso masewera olimbitsa thupi akunja kumathetsa chisoni ndi nkhawa.

Yesani mankhwala azakunyumba komanso kudya bwino. Nayi nkhani yabwino ina: Mwafika zaka zomwe simudzasiyiranso kudya macaroni ndi tchizi. Idyani zinthu zabwino - masamba obiriwira, zipatso, ndi ndiwo zamasamba mumitundu yonse ya utawaleza, mapuloteni owonda. Zakudya zanu zitha kukuthandizani kuti mukhale ndi moyo wautali ndikukhala bwino. Mavitamini a Melatonin ndi magnesium angakuthandizeni kugona mokwanira usiku, ndipo amathanso kuthandizira kuchepetsa nkhawa.

Lembani zomwe mwakwaniritsa. Osangokhala zinthu zazikulu monga mphotho, madigiri, ndi maudindo antchito. Lembani zonse: zoopsa zomwe mwapulumuka, anthu omwe mumawakonda, anzanu omwe mwawapulumutsa, malo omwe mudapitako, malo omwe mwadzipereka, mabuku omwe mwawerenga, mbewu zomwe mwakwanitsa kuti musaphe. Nthawi imvi iyi si nkhani yanu yonse. Tengani nthawi yolemekeza zonse zomwe mwachita ndikukhalapo.

Chitani zinthu zothandiza tsogolo latsopano. Wolemba mabuku George Eliot adati, "Sikuchedwa kwambiri kukhala zomwe mwina ukadakhala." Phunzirani pa intaneti, fufuzani za buku, tsegulani galimoto yamagalimoto, kapena kuyambitsa. Simuyenera kuchita kuwonongera banja lanu kapena ntchito yanu kuti musinthe zinthu zakusangalalako.

Werengani. Werengani mabuku omwe amakulimbikitsani, kukupatsani mphamvu, kapena kukulimbikitsani kuyesa china chatsopano.

Nayi mndandanda wowerengera wazaka zapakatikati. Ena mwa mabukuwa amakupatsani mphamvu ndikulimbikitsani. Ena adzakuthandizani kumva chisoni. Ena adzakuseketsani.

• "Olimba Mtima Kwambiri: Momwe Kulimbika Kokhala Pangozi Kumasinthira Momwe Timakhalira, Kukonda, Kholo, ndi Kutsogolera" Wolemba Brené Brown.
• "Njira B: Kulimbana ndi Mavuto, Kulimbitsa Thupi, ndi Kupeza Chimwemwe" Wolemba Sheryl Sandberg ndi Adam Grant.
• "Ndinu a Badass: Momwe Mungalekere Kukayikira Ukulu Wanu ndi Kuyamba Kukhala Ndi Moyo Wosangalatsa" wolemba Jen Sincero.
• "Matsenga Akulu: Kukhala Ndi Moyo Wopanda Mantha" wolemba Elizabeth Gilbert.
• "Kuphunzira Kuyenda Mumdima" Wolemba Barbara Brown Taylor.
• "Ndikumva Kukwiya Khosi Langa: Ndi Maganizo Ena Pokhala Mkazi" lolembedwa ndi Nora Ephron.
• "Walani: Momwe Mungakulire Modabwitsa M'malo Mwakale" lolembedwa ndi Claire Cook

Zovala zasiliva

"Mavuto okalamba pakati pa okalamba" atha kukhala dzina lina lachisoni, kutopa, komanso nkhawa zomwe zingakhudze anthu kwa nthawi yayitali pakati pa zaka 40 ndi 60. Chiyambi chake chitha kukhala chakuthupi, chamalingaliro, kapena chachitukuko.

Ngati mukukumana ndi zovuta ngati zapakati paubwana, mutha kupeza thandizo kuchokera kwa dokotala, wothandizira, kapena wina mwa anzanu. Kudya moyenera, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi m'chilengedwe, ndi mankhwala achilengedwe kungakuthandizeni kuchepetsa zizindikilo zanu mpaka gawo lakusinthali litadutsa.

Amayi ali pachiwopsezo chazovuta zakukalamba, osati kokha chifukwa cha kusintha kwa matupi athu, koma chifukwa anthu amafuna kuti tikhale osamalira, opezera chakudya, komanso mfumukazi zokongola nthawi imodzi. Ndipo ndizokwanira kuti aliyense afunitse kutulutsa mphepo yamkuntho yoyamba mtawuniyi.

.