Chifukwa Chimene Mungakhale Mukukumana ndi Kutopa Kwapadera - ndi Momwe Mungathanirane Nazo

Zamkati

• Kutopa ndi Chiyani?
• Kutopa Kutopa Zizindikiro
• Momwe Zingawonekere M'malingaliro ndi Makhalidwe Anu
• Momwe Zimasiyanirana ndi Chifunga Chaubongo Kapena Kupsa Mtima
• Momwe Mungachitire ndi Kupatula Kutopa
• Yambani zosavuta.
• Lankhulani za izi.
• Tengani zopumira pafoni yanu ndi nkhani.
• Pangani chizolowezi.
• Yesani kukonza kunyumba.
• Dziwani momwe mumagwiritsira ntchito mphamvu zomwe muli nazo.
• Yesani kupuma ndi kusinkhasinkha.
• Pezani cholinga chanu.
• Musataye chiyembekezo.
• Onaninso za

Ambiri aife tatopa tsopano ... koma zochepa "Ndidakhala ndi tsiku lalitali," komanso "kupweteka kwam'mafupa komwe sindingathe kuyika." Komabe zitha kumva kukhala zosamveka kutopa kwambiri, ngakhale mutakhala kunyumba - nthawi zambiri, malo opumira - kwa miyezi ingapo. Ndipo ikhoza kuphatikizidwa ndi malingaliro ena achisokonezo - kukhumudwa, nkhawa, kusungulumwa, kapena kukwiya. Zosangalatsa, chabwino? Lankhulani kuti mupatule kutopa.

Kutopa ndi Chiyani?

"Kutopa kokhazikika kumakhala kokwanira zachitika ndi kudzipatula, kusowa kwa kugwirizana, kusowa kwa chizolowezi, ndi kutaya chidziwitso cha ufulu wopita ku moyo mwa njira ina yodzipatula yomwe imamva kuti ndi yopanda malire; ikutopa m'maganizo ndikutha tsiku lomwelo, tsiku lililonse, "atero a Jennifer Musselman, L.M.F.T., psychotherapist, upangiri wa utsogoleri, ndi PhD-C ku USC Doctoral Program for Change Management and Leadership.

Ngati tanthauzo limeneli limakupangirani mabelu aliwonse, dziwani kuti simuli nokha. M'malo mwake, anthu masauzande ambiri ogwiritsa ntchito Twitter padziko lonse lapansi amatha kumva ngati "akumenya khoma," mawu opangidwa ndi a Tanzina Vega, omwe amatsogolera pulogalamuyi Chotengera. Pakatikati mwa Januware, Vega adatumiza tsamba lomwe lili ndi vutoli lomwe lidayambitsa kukambirana za "kupsyinjika chifukwa chogwira ntchito osayima, osapumira nkhani, kusamalira ana komanso kudzipatula."

Chidule cha SparkNotes pa zonsezi: Anthu atopa kwambiri - ngati sanagonjetsedwe - patatha chaka chodzipatula, kubisala, ndikuyimitsa moyo wawo wonse mpaka kalekale.

Mosadabwitsa, malingaliro akusowa chiyembekezo, kusatsimikizika, ndi kupsyinjika ndiwothandiza kwathunthu. Zodabwitsazi zakutopa kwaokha ndi chifukwa cha kupsinjika kwamaganizidwe kwathu komwe tikukumana nako, atero a Forrest Talley, Ph.D., katswiri wazamisala ku Folsom, CA. Izi zimasiyanasiyana malinga ndi munthu wina (kaya akugwira ntchito kunyumba, kuthana ndi mavuto azachuma komanso ulova, kuyang'anira ana opanda chisamaliro cha ana ndi sukulu, ndi zina zambiri), koma "pali zina zomwe zimapangitsa kuti pakhale zovuta: kuchuluka kwadzokha, kulephera chitani nawo zinthu zomwe zinali zosangalatsa kapena zosangalatsa m'mbuyomu (kupita kumalo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi, kucheza, kupita kumakonsati, kuchezera mabanja, kuyenda), "akutero.

Ndipo ngakhale zomwe munachita poyambilira ku COVID-19 zomwe zikubwera mwachangu zitha kukhala zodetsa nkhawa kwambiri kapena zodzetsa nkhawa, patatha miyezi ingapo, kutha kwa izi kumabweretsa zovuta zina - zomwe ndizovuta komanso nkhawa. Kuphatikizidwa pakapita nthawi.

"Kutalika kwa opanikizika kumatha chifukwa cha kutopa, komwe ngakhale kofanana ndi kupsinjika koyambirira komanso nkhawa, kumakhalanso kosiyana," akutero a Talley. "Kutopa nthawi zambiri kumatsagana ndi kuchepa kwa magwiridwe antchito, kuchepa mphamvu, kukwiya, kuchepa kwa njira zothetsera mavuto, ndipo, nthawi zina, kudzimva kopanda chiyembekezo. Kukula kwa nkhawa kumawonjezera nkhawa, ndipo kumatha kusintha Mkhalidwe wa nkhawa nawonso. "

"Ganizirani za thanzi lanu ngati foni yanu: Ili ndi mphamvu zochepa isanakwane; anthu ali chimodzimodzi," akutero Kevin Gilliland, Psy.D., katswiri wa zamaganizo ku Dallas. (Mwa fanizo ili, kulumikizana tsiku ndi tsiku ndi zochitika ndizo zimapereka mphamvu, osati nthawi yocheza kunyumba.) "Mutha kukhala popanda zochitika zanu zonse komanso kulumikizana ndi anthu ena kwanthawi yayitali.Umayamba kuchita ngati foni yako ikakhala ili ndi batri locheperako. " phindu, nayenso.)

Kutopa kwapadera kumachitidwa mwamtheradi ndi kudzipatula, kusowa kwa kulumikizana, kusowa chizolowezi, komanso kutaya ufulu wokhala ndi moyo m'njira yodziyikira payokha yomwe imamveka yopanda malire; ndikukhala wotopa m'malingaliro ndikutha kukumana ndi tsiku lomwelo, tsiku lililonse.

Jennifer Musselman, LMFT

Kutopa Kutopa Zizindikiro

Kutopa kokhala kwaokha kumawonekera m'malingaliro komanso mwakuthupi, akutero Gilliland. Akatswiri adatchula zonsezi ngati zizindikiro za kutopa kokhala kwaokha:

• Kutopa kwakuthupi (kuyambira kofatsa mpaka kulimba), kutaya mphamvu
• Kukwiya, kukwiyitsa mosavuta; kupsya mtima
• Kusokonezeka tulo, kusowa tulo, kapena kugona mopitirira muyeso
• Kuda nkhawa (kwatsopano kapena kukulitsa)
• Kukumana ndi mphwayi, ulesi, kupanda chidwi
• Kutengeka maganizo / kusakhazikika maganizo
• Kudzimva kukhala wosungulumwa kwambiri ndi kudzipatula
• Kudzimva wopanda chiyembekezo
• Kuyamba kwa kukhumudwa

Pazimene tatchulazi, pali chinthu chimodzi choyenera kukumbukira: "Kudzipatula ndi chizindikiro choopsa kwambiri cha thanzi la anthu," akutero Gilliland, ndipo sizikunena, koma tikulimbana ndi kudzipatula pakali pano. (Ndipo, ICYMI, kunali mliri wosungulumwa ku US izi zisanachitike.)

Kodi kudzipatula kumeneku ndi koopsa bwanji? Pongoyambira, onani momwe kulumikizana kwaumunthu kumatha kumvera ndikulingalira momwe mumamvera njala popanda izi. "Ubale uli mu DNA yathu - iyenera kukhala imodzi mwa malamulo a chilengedwe (osatsimikiza momwe mumavomerezera)," akutero Gilliland. "Ena mwa maphunziro athu ataliatali okhudzana ndi ukalamba ndi thanzi lamthupi komanso thanzi lamaganizidwe amatchulanso chinthu chofananira cha onse awiri; maubale okondana abwino ndichinsinsi chokhala ndi moyo wautali wathanzi komanso thanzi lamaganizidwe. Kafukufuku wina amayang'ana poyankha oyamba kapena anthu omwe ' takhala tikukumana ndi zoopsa, ndipo omwe amachita bwino kwambiri ndi omwe ali ndi chithandizo chabwino. "

N’kutheka kuti n’chifukwa chake “kafukufuku wa kusungulumwa ndi kudzipatula kumawonjezera imfa za anthu achichepere ndi thanzi labwino,” akutero Gilliland. (Zingathenso kupangitsa kuti zizindikiro zanu zozizira zikhale zovuta kwambiri.) "Kafukufuku wina wanena za zotsatira za kusokonezeka kwa maubwenzi (monga aja pa nthawi yokhala kwaokha) komanso momwe zingayambitse kuvutika maganizo ndi kuonjezera kumwa mowa," zomwe zimabwera ndi gulu lake la kuopsa kwa thanzi, kuphatikizapo nkhawa yowonjezereka mutatha kumwa. (Nayi malangizo a m'modzi wothandizila kuthana ndi kusungulumwa panthawi ya mliri wa COVID-19.)

Momwe Zingawonekere M'malingaliro ndi Makhalidwe Anu

Pali njira zosiyanasiyana zomwe anthu amayankhira kutopa kulikonse, ndipo kupatula kutopa sikungafanane, atero a Talley. "Ena angayankhe pongokhalira kuganizira zokhazokha zomwe akukhazika kwaokha, ndikulingalira za momwe 'zilili zopanda chilungamo', zomwe zingayambitse malingaliro ambiri okhudzana ndi kupanda chilungamo kwa moyo." (Kodi mwadzidzidzimutsa nokha? Zili bwino! Tidzakonza posachedwa.) "Ena adzakhala ndi nkhawa chifukwa njira zawo zothanirana ndi 'zopita' zimasokonezedwa ndi malire omwe amawaika kukhala kwaokha, komanso ngati njira yothanirana ndi vutoli. Zotsatira zake, angayambe kumwa mowa kwambiri, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, kuonera TV, ndi zina zotero."

Akatswiri onse amavomereza kuti nkhani zina zamakhalidwe zingaphatikizepo kugona mopitirira muyeso, kumwa mopitirira muyeso (kuposa masiku onse), kudya mocheperapo kapena kupitirirapo (kusintha kwa chikhumbo chanu chachibadwa ndi zakudya), kusiya kucheza ndi anthu oyandikana nanu (ngakhale pakompyuta - osayankha Kulemba, kusayimba mafoni), komanso kulephera kuyang'ana kuntchito kapena zosangalatsa. Muthanso kukhala ndi vuto kudzuka pabedi kapena "Kukonzekereratu," chifukwa cha kusowa chiyembekezo, kutaya mtima, komanso mphwayi.

Ndipo chonsecho 'mameseji wakale wanu' chodabwitsa? Ndi chinthu. Izi zitha kukhala mphekesera, kudzikayikira, kudzidzudzula, mwina ndikukufunsa mafunso pa moyo wako komanso zisankho zomwe wapanga - zomwe zingakupangitseni kufikira anthu omwe simukuyenera, ngati akale zibwenzi kapena atsikana, akutero a Musselman.

Polankhula za mphekesera, penyani momwe mukuyankhulira nokha pompano, ndipo kumbukirani zokambirana zanu zamkati - kupsinjika kumeneku kumatha kubwera m'malingaliro mwanu. Gilliland anati: “Mukatopa ndi zimene zikuoneka ngati ‘palibe chifukwa,’ mumangodzilankhula mopanda pake. Anthu amakonda kulimbikitsa malingaliro olakwika ndi malingaliro ngati "Ndikumva kutopa. Sindikumva ngati ndichita kalikonse. Palibe chomwe chikumveka bwino. Sindikusamala nthawi yake, ndigona," akutero.

"Maganizo anu ndi machitidwe anu ndizolumikizana, ndichifukwa chake kutopa ndi kutopa uku kumawonjezera malingaliro anu olakwika," akuwonjezera Gilliland. "Kuzungulira koyipa kukayamba, nthawi zambiri kumapitilirabe mpaka mutayimitsa. Kenako mumasakanikirana ndi kusatsimikizika kovomerezeka ndi nkhawa, ndipo mumadzipatula pazinthu zomwe zili zabwino kwa inu - monga kukumana ndi anthu kuthamanga, yendani pakiyo, kapena kungokhala pampando ndikulankhula. "

Momwe Zimasiyanirana ndi Chifunga Chaubongo Kapena Kupsa Mtima

Talley adazindikira kuti ngakhale kutayika kwa thupi kumawoneka ngati kofanana ndi utsi wamaubongo, njira yosavuta yosiyanitsira izi ndikuti chifunga chaubongo ndi chizindikiro, ndipo kupatula kutopa ndizizindikiro zingapo. Monga kupsa mtima, adalongosola kuti vuto lapaderali lingakhudze chimodzi mwazinthu izi:

• Kuzindikira. Zitsanzo zimaphatikizapo malingaliro akuthamanga, kulingalira kopanda tanthauzo, kumachedwetsa kuzindikira.
• Thupi / Khalidwe. Zitsanzo zimaphatikizapo kusintha kwa njala, kuchepa mphamvu, m'mimba, kusintha kwa kuthamanga kwa magazi.
• Kutengeka. Zitsanzo ndi zomwe zimayambitsa nkhawa, kukhumudwa, mkwiyo, kusungulumwa, kukwiya.

"Mkati mwa dongosololi, chifunga chaubongo chimagwera m'gulu lazizindikiro zachidziwitso," akutero Talley. Ponena za kufooka, kutayika kwaokha ndi mtundu wa kupsinjika, akuti; kupsa mtima ndi gwero losiyana ndi kunena, kutopa ndi ntchito. (Zokhudzana: Kutentha Kumatchedwa Mkhalidwe Wachipatala Wovomerezeka)

Momwe Mungachitire ndi Kupatula Kutopa

Simungamve bwino 100% mpaka mutabweranso kudziko lenileni - koma ndizovuta kunena kuti ndi liti (ndipo ngati) zinthu zidzakhala "zachilendo" nthawi iliyonse posachedwa. Apa, akatswiri amagawana malangizo othana ndi vuto ili lamalingaliro, malingaliro, ndi thupi. Nkhani yabwino? Ndikotheka kumva bwino. Nkhani yovutayi? Sizikhala zophweka kwambiri.

Kuthetsa chopinga champhamvu chotere "kumafunikira kukonza zamkati mwa munthu," ndipo kumafunikira kudalira kwambiri mphamvu zanu zamkati, atero a Talley. Sigwira ntchito "kungoyembekezera mwachidwi ndikuyembekeza zabwino," akutero. M'malo mwake, zimafuna "kukankhira kumbuyo motsutsana ndi opanikizika omwe akukumana nanu" kuti muyambe kumva bwino. "Sindikunena kuti iyi ndiye vuto lalikulu kwambiri padziko lapansi, koma ndi nthawi yoyesera."

Yambani zosavuta.

Bwererani ku zoyambira, choyamba. Ngati simunaphimbe izi, zitha kukuthandizani kuti mukhazikitsenso maziko abwino, atero a Lori Whatley, Psy.D, zama psychology komanso wolemba Wolumikizidwa & Wotopa. "Idyani zaukhondo, zopatsa thanzi, kucheza ndi abale ndi abwenzi pa FaceTime, werengani mabuku olimbikitsa kapena mverani ma podcasts abwino," akutero Whatley, pozindikira kuti kuwongolera mwadala malingaliro ndi machitidwe anu kungakuthandizeni kuti mubwererenso. Mpweya wabwino ukhoza kukuthandizani kuti musinthe msanga. "Anthu ambiri apeza kuti kukonza mpweya wabwino mwa kutsegula mawindo ndi zitseko momwe zingathere kwakhala kolimbikitsa kwambiri," akutero.

Kudzisamalira komanso kuchiritsa kumawoneka mosiyana ndi aliyense, ndipo mankhwala a munthu aliyense amasiyanasiyana. Izi zati, pali njira zina zowunikiridwa. "Pakati pamavuto, ndikofunikira kupeza 'mankhwala' omwe tikudziwa kuti amagwira ntchito kwa anthu ambiri, nthawi yayitali - izi zikutanthauza kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, mosasamala kanthu momwe mumamvera," akutero a Gilliland. (Onani: Ubwino Wathanzi Labwino Wogwira Ntchito)

"Yesani kungoganiza zothetsera vutoli; yang'anani pazomwe zachitika komanso momwe mungakwaniritsire zomwe mukufuna," akutero a Gilliland. "Osayang'ana zomwe iwe anali kuchita; zimenezo sizingathandize, ndipo zingangobweretsa mkwiyo ndi chisoni, zomwe sizili zothandiza pamene mukuyesera kubwereranso. M'malo mwake, yang'anani lero, ndichinthu chaching'ono chiti chomwe mungachite panjira yanu kuti muziyenda masitepe ochepa kuposa momwe mudapangira dzulo. Chabwino, tsopano yesani kuchitapo kanthu mawa kuti muwone komwe zikupita. "

Lankhulani za izi.

Kulankhula kumathandizira kwambiri. "Mukayika malingaliro anu m'mawu mumayamba kuwona ndi kuthetsa mavuto mwanjira ina," akutero Gilliland. "Lankhulani ndi anthu kapena akatswiri zamomwe mukuvutikira komanso momwe mukumvera ndipo afunseni zomwe akuchita kuti athane nazo. Mutha kudabwa kuti ndi liti komanso pati mukamva lingaliro labwino lomwe limathandiza pang'ono pokha." (Yogwirizana: Mawu Amodzi Amene Mukunena Akukupangitsani Kukhala Olakwika)

Tengani zopumira pafoni yanu ndi nkhani.

Osati mpaka kalekale! Mumafunikira ku FaceTime, mulimonsemo. Koma kupumula kwaukadaulo kumatha kukhala kothandiza kwambiri. "Ndikothandiza kuchepetsa kugwiritsa ntchito zida za digito komanso kuwonetsa kwathu nkhani," adatero Whatley. Yambani kuwunika momwe kuwerenga, kuwonera, kapena kuyankhula za zovuta ndi zosatsimikizika zomwe zikuchitika mdziko lathu lapansi. Ngati mukulimbana, yambani kuchepetsa izo ndikuyamba kuganizira zomwe mungathe kuchita, ngakhale zitakhala zazing'ono kwambiri. Kusuntha ndi kuwongolera zinthu zazing'ono pamoyo wathu kungakhale ndi zotsatira zabwino, atero a Gilliland.

Pangani chizolowezi.

Mwayi uli, mwachoka pazochitika zanu. "Ngati mungapeze njira zakukonzekera masiku anu kuti muwatsimikizire, izi ndizothandiza pakukonzanso," akutero a Whatley. "Mwachitsanzo, mutha kudzuka ndikupanga yoga ndikukambirana, kudya chakudya cham'mawa, kenako kugwira ntchito kwa maola angapo, kenako kupita kokayenda panja kwa mphindi 20 kuti mupeze mpweya wabwino, kenako mugwire ntchito kwa maola ena ochepa, kenako muchite zosangalatsa kapena kugwira ntchito zapakhomo. Kutsiriza tsiku kusewera masewera kapena kuwonera kanema wolimbikitsa. Kugona nthawi yabwino ndikudzuka m'mawa kumathandizanso chitetezo chathu chamthupi komanso kusangalala. "

Yesani kukonza kunyumba.

Whatley akuti kutulutsa kotsitsimutsa kwa nyumba kungakuthandizireni. "Mutha kukonzanso malo anu okhala panja kapena m'nyumba kuti athe kuthana ndi vuto la mliriwu kuti muthe kusangalala ndi maderawa ndikuwonjezera thanzi lanu mwakukhala bwino pamalo omwe mudakhalamo," akutero. Mwina ndi nthawi yoti mugule mkuyu kapena kuyamba dimba la zitsamba?

Dziwani momwe mumagwiritsira ntchito mphamvu zomwe muli nazo.

Mukukumbukira kuti Gilliland amalankhula za zonse? Khalani osankha ndi 'mapulogalamu' omwe mumayendetsa (kumamatira ku fanizo ili). Gilliland adati ngakhale zinthu zowoneka ngati zopanda vuto, zopanda mphamvu zingakutengereni zochuluka kuposa masiku onse. Yesetsani kusunga malingaliro (kapena enieni) amomwe mumamvera mukamagwiritsa ntchito nthawi inayake pachinthu. Kukonzekera makabati kungakhale njira yabwino yothetsera vutoli, koma mumamva bwanji patatha ola limodzi kapena awiri? Wopatsidwa mphamvu, kapena ngati wina adatsegula gwero lanu lamphamvu?

"Zinthu izi zimathetsa mphamvu zazing'ono zamphamvu [mphamvu] zomwe zatsala," akutero. "Izi zikutanthauza kuti muyenera kukhala osamala momwe nkhawa zakutopetsani - mulibe malire, zowonjezera, kuti muchite zina mwazomwe mumachita." M'malo mokhala ndi mndandanda wazambiri zofunika kuchita, lembani mwachidule mndandanda wazinthu zofunika kwambiri kuti mudzisamalire nokha ndi kuchiritsa, ndipo ingoyang'anirani pazomwe zingakuthandizeni kuti mukhalenso bwino. (Zokhudzana: Journaling Is the Morning Practice Sindingasiye Kusiya)

Yesani kupuma ndi kusinkhasinkha.

Mudazimva kamodzi miliyoni ... koma kodi mukuchitadi? Ndipo kumamatira kwa izo? "Phunzirani chizolowezi chopumira," atero a Gilliland. "Mwina ndichimodzi mwazinthu zamphamvu kwambiri zomwe tingachite kuti tithane ndi kutopa ndi nkhawa yayitali." Yesani njira zanzeru zomwe mungachitire kulikonse kapena njira izi zopumira.

Pezani cholinga chanu.

Musselman anati: “Viktor Frankl, dokotala wodziwika bwino wa matenda a maganizo amene anali muukapolo pa nkhondo ya Nazi, anapeza kuti ambiri amene anapulumuka pa zochitika zoopsa ngati zimenezi anali kupeza cholinga m’kuvutika kwawo. Kuchokera pakuphunziraku, Frankl adapanga Logotherapy, mtundu wina wa chithandizo chozikidwa pothandiza wina kumvetsetsa cholinga chake chothana ndi zovuta zamaganizidwe.

Kutengera lingalirolo, "kugonjetsa kudzipatula kwa COVID-19 ndikupeza zabwino pakadali pano; kugwiritsa ntchito ngati mwayi wochita kapena kudziganizira nokha ndi moyo wanu," akutero Musselman. "Ndikulemba nkhani ndikukhala ndi zolinga. Zimapanga zizolowezi zabwino, ndi iwe komanso ubale wako. Zikuyang'ana mkati ndikupeza zomwe zili zofunika kwa inu ndikufunsa kuti" ndikufuna moyo wanji tsopano? '"(Umu ndi momwe mungagwiritsire ntchito kupatula kuti mupindule ndi moyo wanu komanso thanzi lanu.)

Talley adakulitsa malingaliro awa. "Ganizirani zomwe mudafuna kuchita koma simunakhale nayo nthawi yochita," akutero. "Kenako dzifunseni ngati zingatheke kutsata chikhumbochi mukakhala kwaokha - zomwe zitha kukhala zikulemba nkhani yayifupi, kuphunzira kupanga sushi kunyumba, ndi zina zambiri." (Lowani: Maganizo odzipatula okha.)

"Unikani mndandanda wa ndowa zanu - ngati mulibe, ndi nthawi yoti mupeze," akutero. "Onetsetsani kuti chinthu chilichonse chimayikidwa patsogolo; tsopano pitani ku sitepe yotsatira ndikukhazikitsa tsiku lomwe mudzachotsere."

Kuyesetsa kupeza cholinga chatsopano ndikofunikira. Kudziona kuti ndinu wopambana komanso watanthauzo kumatha kukulitsa chisangalalo ndikuthandizani kuchira.

Musataye chiyembekezo.

Yesetsani momwe mungathere kuti izi zisakudyeni. "Kupsinjika komwe kumapangitsa kuti munthu akhale wotopa ndi mwayi umodzi wokha wolimba," adatero Talley. "Mukayamba kuziwona ngati mwayi wokula, malingaliro anu amasintha, ndipo momwe mumamvera mumayamba kusintha. Zomwe zinali zokhumudwitsa, zosokoneza, tsopano sizingafanane ndi 'kukweza masewera anu.' Ndipo kuyankha koyenera ku kuyesayesa koteroko ndiko 'Bweretsani!'

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