Sayansi Ikuti Anthu Ena Akufuna Kukhala Osakwatira

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Onerani nthabwala zachikondi zokwanira ndipo mutha kukhala otsimikiza kuti pokhapokha mutapeza wokondedwa wanu kapena, ngati simulephera, munthu aliyense wopuma yemwe ali ndi ubale, mutha kukhala moyo wosungulumwa. Koma ngakhale kusangalatsa kwa Nicholas Spark kumapangitsa maubwenzi kuwoneka, anthu ena ali osangalala kwambiri kukhala osakwatiwa, atero kafukufuku watsopano Social Psychological & Umunthu Sayansi.

Kafukufukuyu adayang'ana ophunzira aku koleji opitilira 4,000 ndipo adapeza kuti chomwe chimatsimikizira chimwemwe cha munthu sichinali ubale wawo koma zolinga zawo. chifukwaubale. Magulu awiri a anthu adatulukira pazomwe amafotokozazi: omwe ali ndi zolinga zabwino kwambiri-anthu omwe amafunitsitsa kukhala pachibwenzi - ndipo omwe ali ndi zolinga zopewa-anthu omwe amafunitsitsa kupewa mikangano ndi zisudzo. (Kupewera sewero sikumakhala kwathanzi nthawi zonse. Nazi njira 4 Zothana ndi Njira Zolumikizirana ndi Ubale.)

Ndipo ngakhale ambiri a ife mwina tiziweruza limodzi lamaguluwa molakwika monga "olakwika," gulu lofufuzira lidapeza kuti ngakhale mutayandikira pafupi ndi Taylor Swift kapena kwa munthu aliyense yemwe adakhalapo naye (pepani, Taylor!), Sichoncho ' ndizofunika bola ngati mukukhalabe oona kwa chiyani inu amafunadi.

Palibe gulu lomwe lili bwino kuposa lina; ali osiyana, "akutero wolemba kutsogolera a Yuthika Girme, Ph.D., pulofesa wama psychology ku University of Auckland ku New Zealand. Kukhala ndi zolinga zopewera kwambiri kungakutetezeni ku mtengo wosakhala wosakwatira (mwachitsanzo kusungulumwa) koma kuyesera Zovuta kwambiri kupewa mikangano zimathanso kukhala zoyipa, akufotokoza motero. Komano, kukhala ndi zolinga zapamwamba kungatanthauze kuti muli ndi maubwenzi abwinoko chifukwa muli wokonzeka kuthana ndi mikangano, koma kungatanthauzenso kuti mutha kutero. muthane ndi sewero pamoyo wanu wonse (zomwe zitha kukhala zopanikiza) ndipo mumawona zopweteketsa zili zopweteka kwambiri. (Ngakhale zikhala zopweteka kwambiri kwa ife kuposa iye-Mudzachira Kumtima Wosweka Mofulumira Kuposa Wakale Wanu. )

Izi zitha kuyambitsa mavuto ngati inu ndi mnzanu (kapena mulibe) simukufanana. Ngati mulibe sewero koma mukukondana ndi munthu yemwe akuwoneka kuti akupita ku Oscar, kapena ngati mukufuna kukhala ndi nyenyezi mu rom com yanu koma mulibe munthu wotsogolera, zitha kuyambitsa chipwirikiti. .

Yambani podzilandira nokha kuti ndinu ndani, Girme akuti - ndi wokhulupirira mwamphamvu kuti tonse timadalira mbali imodzi mwachilengedwe ndipo timakayikira kuti wina angadzikakamize kukhala mtundu winawo. Ngati mutha kuzindikira ngati mumapewa kwambiri kapena mukukwaniritsa zolinga, mutha kuyang'ana momwe mungasinthire moyo wanu womwe ungalemekeze malingaliro a ena ndikuteteza chisangalalo chanu. (Mwachitsanzo, Zinthu 6 Izi Zomwe Muyenera Kuzifunsa Nthawi Zonse mu Ubwenzi zidzakulitsa chimwemwe chanu kotero kuti ndizofunika kulimbana nazo.)

"Anthu ophatikizana omwe ali ndi zolinga zopewera atha kuzindikira kuti kusamvana pamavuto sikungapeweke komanso kuti kuthana ndi mikangano yofunika kumatha kukonza ubale," atero a Girme. Mofananamo, kwa anthu amene sali pa banja amene ali ndi zolinga zimene zilibe malire, kungakhale kofunika kuzindikira kuti anthu amene sali pa banja akhoza kukhala ndi moyo wosangalala komanso wokhutitsidwa. abale ndi abwenzi."

Ndipo polingalira kuti theka la anthu aku America sali pabanja, funso loti mungakhale osangalala bwanji ngati muli ndi mtima pa mbiri yanu ya Facebook ndilofunika kwambiri. Mwina ndi nthawi yoti mukhale pansi ndikusankha zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala osangalala komanso omasuka ndikukhala momwemo, osapepesa. Chifukwa mukuyenera kukhala osangalala nthawi zonse, osati mathero omwe anthu ena amaganiza kuti ndi abwino kwa inu.

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