Chonde Lekani Kulingalira Kukhumudwa Kwanga Kogwira Ntchito Kumandipangitsa Kukhala Waulesi

Zamkati

• Matenda okhumudwa ali ndi nkhope zambiri
• Ayi, sindingathe "kungozisiya"
• Anthu ogwira ntchito kwambiri amafunikanso chithandizo cha kukhumudwa
• Njira patsogolo

Timaphatikizapo zinthu zomwe timaganiza kuti ndizothandiza kwa owerenga athu. Ngati mutagula maulalo omwe ali patsamba lino, titha kupeza ndalama zochepa. Nayi njira yathu.

Ndi Lolemba. Ndimadzuka 4:30 m'mawa ndikupita kumalo ochitira masewera olimbitsa thupi, ndikabwerera kunyumba, ndikasamba, ndikuyamba kulemba nkhani yomwe ndiyenera kudzachita masana. Ndikumva kuti amuna anga ayamba kuchita chipwirikiti, chifukwa chake ndimakwera chipinda chammwamba kukacheza nawo pamene akukonzekera tsikulo.

Pakadali pano, mwana wathu wamkazi akudzuka ndipo ndimamva akuimba mosangalala pa kama: "Amayi!" Ndimanyamula Claire pabedi lake ndipo timayenda pansi kukapanga chakudya cham'mawa. Timabisalira pabedi ndikupumira kununkhira kwa tsitsi lake akamadya.

Pofika 7:30 a.m., ndakhala ndikufinya pochita masewera olimbitsa thupi, kuvala, kugwira ntchito pang'ono, ndikupsompsona mwamuna wanga ndikuyamba tsiku langa ndi mwana wanga wamng'ono.

Kenako kukhumudwa kwanga kumalowerera.

Matenda okhumudwa ali ndi nkhope zambiri

"Kukhumudwa kumakhudza umunthu wonse ndipo kumawoneka kosiyana kwambiri ndi anthu osiyanasiyana," akutero a Jodi Aman, othandizira zamaganizidwe komanso wolemba "Inu 1, Kuda nkhawa 0: Pindulani Moyo Wanu ku Mantha ndi Mantha."

"Munthu wogwira ntchito kwambiri akhoza kuvutika mosawoneka," akutero.

Malinga ndi lipoti la 2015 la Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, akuti pafupifupi anthu 6.1 miliyoni azaka zapakati pa 18 kapena kupitilira apo ku United States anali ndi vuto limodzi lokhumudwitsa chaka chatha. Nambalayi imayimira 6.7 peresenti ya akulu onse aku U.S. Kuphatikiza apo, matenda amisala ndi omwe amafala kwambiri ku United States, omwe amakhudza akulu 40 miliyoni azaka zapakati pa 18 ndi kupitilira apo, kapena 18 peresenti ya anthu.

Koma akatswiri ambiri azamisala amafulumira kunena kuti, ngakhale ziwerengerozi zikuwonetsa kufala kwachisokonezo ndi zina, momwe anthu amakhudzidwira ndizosiyanasiyana.Matenda okhumudwa sangakhale odziwika nthawi zonse kwa omwe akuzungulirani, ndipo tifunika kukambirana tanthauzo la izi.

"Kukhumudwa kumatha kulepheretsa chidwi chofuna kuchita zinthu, koma anthu ogwira ntchito bwino amapitabe patsogolo kuti akwaniritse zolinga zawo," atero a Mayra Mendez, PhD, psychotherapist komanso wotsogolera pulogalamu ya olumala ndi otukuka komanso ntchito zamatenda amisala ku Providence Saint John's Child and Family Development Center ku Santa Monica, California. "Kufunitsitsa kukwaniritsa nthawi zambiri kumalimbikitsa kuchitapo kanthu ndipo kumapangitsa anthu ogwira ntchito zapamwamba kuti akwaniritse zinthu."

Izi zikutanthauza kuti anthu ena omwe ali ndi vuto la kukhumudwa amathanso kukhalabe ndi ntchito za tsiku ndi tsiku - ndipo nthawi zina zapadera. Mendez akulozera kwa anthu odziwika omwe anena kuti anali ndi vuto la kupsinjika, kuphatikizapo Winston Churchill, Emily Dickinson, Charles M. Schultz, ndi Owen Wilson monga zitsanzo zabwino.

Ayi, sindingathe "kungozisiya"

Ndakhala ndikukhumudwa komanso kuda nkhawa nthawi yayitali ndili wamkulu. Anthu akamva za zovuta zanga, ndimakumana nawo nthawi zambiri "Sindingaganize za inu!"

Ngakhale anthuwa nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi zolinga zabwino ndipo mwina sangadziwe zambiri zamatenda amisala, zomwe ndimamva munthawiyo ndi izi: "Koma zitha bwanji inu kukhumudwa? ” kapena "Chitha kukhala choipa chotani yanu moyo? ”

Zomwe anthu sazindikira ndikuti kulimbana ndi matenda amisala kumachitika nthawi zambiri mkati - ndikuti omwe timachita nawo timakhala ndi nthawi yambiri tikudzifunsa mafunso omwewo.

"Lingaliro lolakwika la kupsinjika ndikuti mutha kungozisiya kapena kuti china chake chachitika kuti chikupangitseni kukhumudwa," akutero a Kathryn Moore, PhD, katswiri wazamisala ku Providence Saint John's Child and Family Development Center ku Santa Monica, California.

“Mukakhala kuti mwadwala matenda ovutika maganizo, mumakhala achisoni kwambiri kapena opanda chiyembekezo popanda chifukwa china chilichonse. Matenda okhumudwa atha kukhala kusasangalala kwakanthawi m'moyo, kapena kumangokhala kudziona kukhala wopanda chiyembekezo komanso malingaliro olakwika okhudzana ndi moyo wanu, "akuwonjezera.

Mendez akuvomereza, ndikuwonjeza kuti chikhulupiriro cholakwika chokhudzana ndi kukhumudwa ndikuti ndi mkhalidwe wamaganizidwe omwe mutha kuwongolera poganiza bwino. Osati choncho, akutero.

"Matenda okhumudwa ndi matenda omwe amadziwika ndi kusowa kwa mankhwala, kwachilengedwe, komanso kapangidwe kake kamene kamakhudza kusinthasintha kwa malingaliro," akufotokoza Mendez. “Pali zinthu zambiri zomwe zimayambitsa kukhumudwa, ndipo palibe chifukwa chomwe chimapangitsa kuti munthu azikhala ndi nkhawa. Matenda ovutika maganizo sangathe kuthetsedwa ndi malingaliro abwino. ”

Mendez adatchulanso malingaliro ena olakwika okhudza kukhumudwa, kuphatikiza "kukhumudwa ndichinthu chimodzimodzi ndi chisoni" ndipo "kukhumudwa kumatha pakokha."

Iye anati: "Kumva chisoni kumachitika nthawi zambiri tikamwalira, kusintha, kapena kukumana ndi zovuta pamoyo wathu." “Matenda ovutika maganizo amakhala popanda munthu kuyambitsa mavuto ndipo amafunika kuthandizidwa. Matenda okhumudwa samangokhala achisoni nthawi zina. Matenda okhumudwa amatenga nthawi yopanda chiyembekezo, ulesi, kusowa chochita, kusowa chochita, kukwiya, komanso zovuta zowunikira. ”

Kwa ine, kukhumudwa nthawi zambiri kumangokhala ngati ndikuwona moyo wa munthu wina, pafupifupi ngati kuti ndikungoyenda pamwamba pa thupi langa. Ndikudziwa kuti ndikuchita zonse zomwe "ndikuyenera kuchita" ndipo nthawi zambiri ndimamwetulira mochokera pansi pazinthu zomwe ndimakonda, koma ndimasiyidwa ndikumverera ngati wonamizira. Ndizofanana ndikumverera komwe munthu angakumane nako akamaseka koyamba atamwalira wokondedwa. Chisangalalo chakanthawi chilipo, koma nkhonya m'matumbo siyosalira.

Anthu ogwira ntchito kwambiri amafunikanso chithandizo cha kukhumudwa

Moore akuti chithandizo ndi malo abwino kwambiri omwe munthu angayambitsire chithandizo chamankhwala ngati akukumana ndi zizindikilo za kukhumudwa.

“Madokotala amatha kuthandiza munthu kudziwa malingaliro, zikhulupiriro, ndi zizolowezi zoipa zomwe zimamupangitsa kuti azikhala wokhumudwa. Zitha kuphatikizaponso zinthu monga mankhwala, kuphunzira kulingalira bwino, komanso kuchita zinthu zokhudzana ndi kusintha mtima, monga kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, ”akutero.

A John Huber, a PsyD, a Mainstream Mental Health akuwonetsanso kutuluka "m'ndende yanu," makamaka ngati munthuyo ndi wopitirira muyeso.

"Ngakhale atakhala otsogola komanso nthawi zambiri pantchito yawo, anthu awa [akuchita miyoyo yawo] ngati kuthamanga liwiro ndi lamba wolemera wanyamula mapaundi owonjezera 100," adatero. Kuti muchepetse katundu, a Huber akuti, lingalirani kutulutsa pamagetsi, kupita panja kuti mupite kampweya, kapena kuyamba ntchito yatsopano. Kafukufuku apeza kuti zaluso zitha kukhala ndi phindu kwa iwo omwe ali ndi vuto la kukhumudwa.

Ponena za lingaliro langa losagwiritsa ntchito mankhwala: Kambiranani za kukhumudwa kwanu momwe mungathere. Poyamba, sizingakhale zophweka ndipo mutha kuda nkhawa kuti anthu adzaganiza chiyani. Koma sankhani wachibale wokhulupirika, mnzanu, kapena akatswiri ndipo muphunzira kuti anthu ambiri amagawana zomwezo. Kulankhula za izi kumachepetsa kudzipatula komwe kumadza chifukwa chofunafuna thanzi lanu lamisala.

Chifukwa ngakhale nkhope yanu yakhumudwa, nthawi zonse zimakhala zosavuta kuyang'ana pakalilore pomwe pali phewa loti mudalire kuyimirira pafupi nanu.

Njira patsogolo

M'munda wamaganizidwe, padakali zochuluka zomwe sitikudziwa. Koma zomwe tikudziwa ndikuti kukhumudwa ndi nkhawa zimakhudza anthu ambiri kuti anthu azikhala osazindikira za izi.

Kukhala wopsinjika sikundipangitsa kukhala waulesi, wotsutsana ndi anthu, kapena bwenzi loipa komanso amayi. Ndipo ngakhale ndimatha kuchita zinthu zambiri, sindine wosagonjetseka. Ndikuzindikira kuti ndikufuna thandizo ndi njira yothandizira.

Ndipo zili bwino.

Zolemba za Caroline Shannon-Karasik zakhala zikupezeka m'mabuku angapo, kuphatikizapo: Good Housekeeping, Redbook, Prevention, VegNews, ndi magazini a Kiwi, komanso SheKnows.com ndi EatClean.com. Pakali pano akulemba mndandanda wa zolemba. Zambiri zitha kupezeka pa carolineo.com. Caroline amathanso kufikiridwa pa Instagram @alirezatalischi.