Parent Your When Anorexic: Zinthu 7 Ndikulakalaka Wina Akanandiuza

Zamkati

• 1. Ndibwino kumva ngati wopanda thandizo
• 2. Zili bwino kumva kupsa mtima ndi kukhumudwa - kapena kusakhala ndi chilichonse
• 3. Ndizabwino kumvetsetsa komanso kusamvetsetsa nthawi yomweyo
• 4. Ndibwino kutchula dzina, ngakhale mukuwopa kuti lithamangitsa kholo
• 5. Palibe vuto kuyesa chilichonse - ngakhale zina mwa zomwe mumayesa zitha 'kulephera'
• 6. Zili bwino ngati ubale wanu ndi chakudya kapena thupi lanu liri losokonezeka, inunso
• 7. Si vuto lanu

Ndadikirira moyo wanga wonse kuti wina anene izi kwa ine, chifukwa chake ndikunena kwa inu.

Ndikudziwa kuti ndili ndi Googled "chithandizo cha mwana wa kholo losadwala" nthawi zosawerengeka. Ndipo, onani, zotsatira zokhazo ndi za makolo a ana anorexic.

Ndipo pozindikira kuti muli nokha, monga mwachizolowezi? Zingakupangitseni kumva kuti ndinu "kholo" lomwe mukumva kuti muli.

(Ngati ndi inu, chifukwa chokonda mulungu, tumizani imelo. Ndikuganiza kuti tili ndi zambiri zoti tikambirane.)

Ngati palibe amene adatenga nthawi kuti achepetse ndikutsimikizira zomwe mwakumana nazo, ndikhale woyamba. Nazi zinthu zisanu ndi ziwiri zomwe ndikufuna kuti mudziwe - zinthu zisanu ndi ziwiri zomwe ndikulakalaka wina atandiuza.

1. Ndibwino kumva ngati wopanda thandizo

Zimakhala bwino makamaka ngati kholo lanu likukana kwathunthu za anorexia. Zitha kukhala zowopsa kuwona china momveka bwino koma osatha kupangitsa wina kuti azionere okha. Inde mumadzimva kukhala wopanda thandizo.

Pafupipafupi, kholo liyenera kuvomereza modzipereka kuti lichiritse (pokhapokha, monga zidandichitikira, adadzipereka - ndipo ndilo gawo lina lonse la osathandiza). Ngati sangatenge gawo limodzi la mwana, mutha kumva kuti mwamangirizidwa.

Mutha kukhala kuti mukupanga mapulani osintha mkaka ku Starbucks (adzakhala nanu) kapena kuwaza mafuta a CBD mu soda (Chabwino, chifukwa chake sindikudziwa momwe zingagwire ntchito, koma ndakhala maola angapo. za moyo wanga ndikuganizira za izo. Kodi zitha kusanduka nthunzi? Zitha kuphimba?).

Ndipo chifukwa chakuti anthu samalankhula zakuthandizira ana a makolo anorexic, zitha kukhala zopatula kwambiri. Palibe mapu amisewu a izi, ndipo ndi mtundu wapadera wa gehena omwe anthu ochepa samvetsetsa.

Maganizo anu ndi ovomerezeka. Inenso ndinakhalako.

2. Zili bwino kumva kupsa mtima ndi kukhumudwa - kapena kusakhala ndi chilichonse

Ngakhale ndizovuta kukwiyira kholo, ndipo ngakhale mutadziwa kuti ndi anorexia akuyankhula, ndipo ngakhale atakupemphani kuti musawakwiyire, inde, zili bwino kuti mumve zomwe mukumva.

Wakwiya chifukwa chochita mantha, ndipo nthawi zina umakhumudwa chifukwa choti umasamala. Awo ndi malingaliro amunthu kwambiri.

Mwinanso mutha kumva kuti mulibe chidwi ndi ubale wamakolo ndi mwana. Sindinamve ngati ndinali ndi kholo kwa zaka. Kupezeka kwa izi kwakhala "kwachilendo" kwa ine.

Ngati dzanzi ndi momwe mwapirira, chonde dziwani kuti palibe cholakwika ndi inu. Umu ndi m'mene mukupulumukira kusasamalidwa komwe mudafunikira. Ndikumvetsa izi, ngakhale anthu ena satero.

Ndimangoyesa kudzikumbutsa ndekha kuti kwa munthu amene ali ndi anorexia, malingaliro ake amangokhalira kuganizira za laser pa chakudya (ndikuwongolera). Nthawi zina, ndimalingaliro owonongera zonse, ngati kuti chakudya ndicho chinthu chokha chofunikira.

(Mwakutero, zitha kumveka ngati mulibe nazo kanthu, kapena chakudyacho chimakhala chofunikira kwambiri kwa iwo. Koma zilibe kanthu, ndikulonjeza.)

Ndikulakalaka ndikadakhala ndi phaser. Mwinanso amatero.

3. Ndizabwino kumvetsetsa komanso kusamvetsetsa nthawi yomweyo

Ndili ndi luso logwira ntchito mdziko lamaumoyo. Koma palibe chomwe chandikonzekeretsa kukhala ndi kholo lomwe lili ndi anorexia.

Ngakhale kudziwa kuti matenda a anorexia ndi matenda amisala - komanso kutha kufotokoza momwe anorexia imayendetsera malingaliro a kholo - sizimapangitsa kuti zikhale zosavuta kumvetsetsa mawu ngati "Ine sindiri wonenepa" kapena "Ndimangodya shuga wopanda komanso wopanda mafuta chifukwa ndizomwe ndimakonda. ”

Chowonadi ndichakuti, makamaka ngati kholo lidakhala ndi anorexia kwanthawi yayitali, lamuloli lawononga thupi ndi malingaliro awo.

Sizinthu zonse zomwe zimakhala zomveka pamene wina akupirira zoopsa ngati izi - kwa iwo kapena kwa inu - ndipo simuli ndi udindo wobwezeretsanso zidutswazo.

4. Ndibwino kutchula dzina, ngakhale mukuwopa kuti lithamangitsa kholo

Pambuyo pazaka makumi ambiri kuzemba komanso kukana - kenako chinsinsi chotsatira cha "izi zili pakati pathu" ndi "ndichinsinsi chathu," mwadzidzidzi inu Kukwiyira anthu omwe akuwonetsa nkhawa - pomaliza kunena mokweza kungakhale gawo lofunikira pakuchira kwanu.

Mumaloledwa kutchula dzina ili: matenda a anorexia.

Mumaloledwa kugawana momwe zisonyezo sizikutsutsidwira ndikuwonekera, momwe tanthauzo lake limasiyira kukayika, komanso momwe zimamvera kuwona izi. Mungakhale owona mtima. Kwa machiritso anu omwe, inu mwina mukuyenera kukhala muli.

Kuchita izi kwandipulumutsa m'maganizo ndipo kwandilola kuti ndikhale wocheperako polumikizana. Ndizosavuta kulembedwa kuposa momwe ananenera, koma ndikulakalaka ana onse a makolo anorexic.

5. Palibe vuto kuyesa chilichonse - ngakhale zina mwa zomwe mumayesa zitha 'kulephera'

Palibe vuto kunena zinthu zomwe sizingatheke.

Simuli katswiri, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti mudzasokoneza nthawi zina. Ndayesa malamulo, ndipo amatha kubwerera. Ndayesera kulira, ndipo izi zitha kubwereranso, inenso. Ndayesera kuwonetsa zothandizira, ndipo nthawi zina zimagwira ntchito, nthawi zina sizigwira ntchito.

Koma sindinadandaulepo poyesa chilichonse.

Ngati ndinu munthu yemwe kholo lake lingalandire mozizwitsa pempho lanu loti azisamalira, azidyetsa okha, ndi zina zambiri, ndibwino kuyesera bola mukadali ndi mphamvu komanso magwiridwe antchito.

Mutha kukumverani tsiku lina ndikunyalanyaza mawu anu tsiku lotsatira. Zingakhale zovuta kuti mugwire. Muyenera kutenga tsiku limodzi nthawi imodzi.

6. Zili bwino ngati ubale wanu ndi chakudya kapena thupi lanu liri losokonezeka, inunso

Ngati muli ndi kholo la anorexic ndipo muli ndi ubale wathanzi ndi thupi lanu, chakudya, kapena kulemera, ndinu unicorn waumulungu ndipo mwina muyenera kulemba buku kapena china chake.

Koma ndikuganiza kuti tonse ana a makolo omwe ali ndi vuto la kudya tikulimbana nawo pang'ono. Simungakhale pafupi kwambiri (kachiwiri, pokhapokha ngati unicorn) osakhudzidwa.

Ndikadapanda kupeza timu yamasewera pomwe chakudya chamagulu akulu chinali gawo lalikulu logwirizana, sindikudziwa komwe ndikadakhala paulendowu. Icho chinali chisomo changa chopulumutsa. Mutha kukhala ndi anu kapena mwina simunakhale nawo.

Koma dziwani kuti ena ali kunjaku akulimbana nawonso, akuyesetsa kuti asalimbane, komanso kukonda matupi athu ndi ife eni komanso makolo athu, nawonso.

Pakadali pano, ngati mukufuna kukhala ndi moto winawake wamalamulo mwanjira iliyonse ndi magazini onse a "azimayi" pakati pa Safeway? Ndatsika.

7. Si vuto lanu

Ichi ndi chovuta kwambiri kuvomereza. Ichi ndichifukwa chake ndi lomaliza pamndandandawu.

Zimakhala zovuta kwambiri pamene kholo lidwala matenda a anorexia kwanthawi yayitali. Kusasangalala kwa anthu ndi nthawiyo kumawapangitsa kudzudzula munthu wapafupi. Ndipo tangoganizani, ndiwe.

Kudalira kwa kholo lanu pa inu kungathenso kuwonekera ngati udindo, womwe umamasulira mchilankhulo chalakwa kukhala "vuto lanu." Kholo lanu limatha kukuyankhulani mwachindunji ngati munthu amene angamve kuti ali ndi udindo wokhudzana ndi kusintha, monga adotolo, wosamalira, kapena woyang'anira (zomwe zandichitikira; ndikhulupirireni, si fanizo lomwe mukufuna).

Ndipo ndizovuta kuti tisalandire maudindowo. Anthu atha kukuwuzani kuti musadziike paudindowu, koma anthuwa sanayang'anepo munthu wamkulu wamapaundi 60 kale. Koma ingokumbukirani kuti ngakhale mwayikidwa paudindowu, sizitanthauza kuti pamapeto pake ndinu omwe mukuwayang'anira kapena zisankho zomwe amapanga.

Chifukwa chake, ndikunenanso kwa ine kumbuyo: Si vuto lanu.

Palibe amene angachotsere munthu vuto la kudya, ngakhale titafuna kwambiri chotani. Ayenera kukhala okonzeka kupereka - ndipo ndiwoulendo wawo woti atenge, osati wanu. Zomwe mungachite ndikukhalapo, ndipo ngakhale nthawi zina zimakhala zochulukirapo.

Mukuchita bwino kwambiri, ndipo mukudziwa chiyani? Ndizo zonse zomwe aliyense angafunse kwa inu.

Vera Hannush ndiwopereka chithandizo chopanda phindu, womenyera ufulu, purezidenti wa board, komanso wotsogolera gulu la anzawo ku Pacific Center (likulu la LGBTQ ku Berkeley), kukoka mfumu ndi ma Rebel Kings aku Oakland ("Armenian Weird Al"), mlangizi wovina, Wodzipereka wopanda pogona wokhala wachinyamata, wogwira ntchito pa LGBT National Hotline, komanso wopanga mapaketi a fanny, masamba amphesa, ndi nyimbo zaku Ukraine zaku pop.