Tidafunsa Amuna kuti: "Nchiyani Chomwe Chinakupangitsani Kuti Muyambe Kusungunuka?"

Zamkati

• Nthawi zambiri, zojambulajambula zimabwera ngati zodandaula. M'malo mwake, timangosamala.
• Yambani pogwiritsa ntchito njira yofatsa
• Pewani kuweruzidwa ndi kuzunza
• Gwiritsani ntchito kampani yosakanikirana ngati mwayi
• Onetsani ukatswiri wanu kuti mupange ubale
• Werengani chipinda: Pezani nthawi yolunjika kapena kuyamika
• Nthawi zambiri, amuna ena amangodziwa kuti ndi ndani (ndi liti) kuti afunse

Pali njira zolondola (komanso zolakwika) zopezera abambo chinyezi.

Chifukwa chiyani kuli kovuta kwambiri kuti amuna azisamalira khungu?

Zitha kukhala zowona kuti amuna ambiri samalankhula za iwo eni. Yesu, wazaka 33, amakhudza momwe kukambitsirana za chisamaliro cha khungu pakati pa amuna nkosayenera kwa Latinos.

"Kusamalira khungu ndi umodzi mwamitu yomwe mukakhala pafupi ndi amuna ena achi Latino, simugawana nawo khungu lanu, ndipo amakuseka ukatero. Ndipokhapokha ngati alpha wamwamuna mgululi agawana kena kenaka nkunena kuti, 'Hei, ndigwiritsa ntchito izi, muyenera kuzigwiritsa ntchito.' ”

David, 60, akutsimikiziranso kuti anyamata ndi abambo nthawi zambiri amanyozana za khungu lawo ndipo samakambirana zaupangiri wawo. “Kusamalira khungu kumangobwera pakati pa anyamata ngati kuli kusekedwa. Monga, 'Tawonani, mawondo anu ndi ash!' Nthabwala za Barbershop monga choncho. "

Nthawi zambiri, zojambulajambula zimabwera ngati zodandaula. M'malo mwake, timangosamala.

Tivomerezane: Kupeza mnyamatayo m'moyo wanu kuti azisamalira khungu lake kumatha kukhala kovuta. Muyenera kuganizira mtundu wa khungu ndi zosowa zawo, momwe akumvera komanso mtundu wa umunthu, komanso kudalirika kwanu.

Sindidzaiwala momwe ndinapeŵera mwadala kuthandiza chibwenzi chakale kuwopa kuwononga malingaliro ake. Sankagwiritsa ntchito chometera choyenera kuti amuteteze ku zotupa. Khosi lake linkawoneka ngati watengapo tchizi.

M'malo momuthandiza ndekha, ndimadalira abambo anga kuti alowererepo ndikuwonetsa ziwombankhanga zawo. Mkazi wanga wakale sanatenge malangizowo, koma kukumbukira nthawi zonse kumandipangitsa kudzifunsa kuti: Kodi pali njira zabwino - njira zina - zopezera anyamata kuti azisamalira khungu lawo? Kodi tingawapangitse bwanji amunawo m'miyoyo yathu kuti ayambe kuthira mafuta, kutentha mafuta padzuwa, kuwotcha mafuta, ndi kuchiza ziphuphu zawo?

Kuti ndimvetse bwino za njira zakusalaza nthawi ndi zochitika - zabwino, zoyipa, komanso zoyipa - ndidafikira abwenzi anga apamtima komanso abale.

Izi ndi zokumana nazo zawo.

Yambani pogwiritsa ntchito njira yofatsa

Ponena za mchimwene wake, Candice, wazaka 26, amadziwa kuti ayenera kumasuka pamalangizo. Sasangalala akamamuuza zoyenera kuchita ndipo amamuwuza akachita.

"Ndiyenera kumuchepetsa kuti azichita zinthu. Ndinawona kuti akuphulika kutentha, choncho ndinati, 'Hei, ndazindikira kuti khungu lako likuphulika. Mukuchita chiyani kuti muzisamalira? Kodi zikukuyenderani? '”

Atamuuza kuti akungogwiritsa ntchito sopo womwera mowa, adalangiza kuti azitsuka. "Anayesa ndipo anali ngati," Yo, izi [bleep] ndizopanda pake! Ndatsala pang'ono kugwiritsa ntchito izi! '”

Ponena za chisamaliro cha khungu m'malo owonetsetsa, Jussie, wazaka 26, akunena kuti ayenera kukhala wachindunji, chifukwa chisamaliro cha khungu sichimabwera.

Candice amagwiritsanso ntchito njirayi ndi chibwenzi chake, ndikuwonjezera kuti, "Amuna sadziwa chilichonse chokhudza oyeretsa kapena chofewetsa, chifukwa chake ndidayenera kumulimbikitsanso kuti atulutsenso. Akugwiritsabe ntchito sopo wapa bala nthawi zambiri, koma pano amatulutsa thupi kamodzi pamlungu. "

Pewani kuweruzidwa ndi kuzunza

Chenjezo lowononga: Ili ndiye zosagwira kwenikweni Yandikirani pothandiza aliyense kusintha khungu lawo. Chonde musachite izi!

Monique, wazaka 30, sanakhalepo ndi vuto lililonse pakhungu lake ndipo anali atatayika pomwe adawona mwana wa mchimwene wake ali ndi ziphuphu.

“Anzake ankamuseka. Anali ndi khungu loyera komanso nkhope. Adasamukira mumzinda wawukulu, ndipo mawonekedwe ake adayamba kukhala ofunika kwambiri kwa iye. Ndikuganiza kuti ziphuphu zake zidamubweretsa pansi, ndipo ndi wokongola pang'ono. Ndipo palibe amene amakonda ziphuphu. ”

"Ndinamuuza kuti," Muyenera kusamba nkhope yanu kwambiri. Ndipo sintha mapilo ako. '"Anamufunsanso," Ndani wakuika manja akuda? Ndani akhudza nkhope yako? ” Atamuuza kuti akusamba kumaso, amatha kuona manyazi ndikukhumudwa.

Sanafunsenso Monique kuti amuthandizenso ndi khungu lake, ndipo poyang'ana kumbuyo, amamvetsetsa chifukwa chake.

Gwiritsani ntchito kampani yosakanikirana ngati mwayi

Yesu, yemwe adakambirana kale za kupezerera anzawo pakhungu, adakumana ndi zovuta zambiri zakukambirana poyera za kusamalira khungu ndi mnzake wamwamuna pagulu losakanikirana.

"Tidali kugwira ntchito ndi ophunzira, ndipo atsikana ndi anyamata anyamata nthawi zonse amakhala ngati timacheza nawo nthawi yopuma. Tsiku lina, ophunzira athu achikazi anali kumangocheza, kukambirana zamafuta othandizira. Ndipo uwu unali mwayi wathu wolowera zokambirana.

Sean anandiuza kuti, 'Hei Yesu, ndikuwona kuti khungu lako limakhala lopaka mafuta. Muyenera kuyesa izi. Sili okwera mtengo kwambiri ndipo mutha kuyipeza ku Costco. Ndikhulupirire, mundithokoza. ’”

Yesu adakhudzidwa ndi zotsatirazo ndipo wakulitsa njira yake yosamalira khungu kuyambira pamenepo.

"Ndidaona kuti mchimwene wanga akutenga ndevu, ndipo ndidamufunsa kuti akumeta kapena ayi, wayesapo kapena ayi. Ndipo anali ndi ziphuphu pang'ono, ndipo ndidawona zopindika ... ndipo ndidati china: 'Izi zithandiza.' ” - David, wazaka 60

Onetsani ukatswiri wanu kuti mupange ubale

Yesu amakhalanso ndi mayi wa cosmetologist komanso mchimwene wololeza kutikita kuti apemphe thandizo lina.

"Nthawi zonse ndimatha kupita kwa amayi anga kukawona zopangira khungu zomwe ndigwiritse ntchito. Mchimwene wanga amadziwa mafuta akhungu lanu ndi zina zotero, chifukwa chake adandilangiza mafuta komanso batala wa koko pa khungu langa, "akutero.

David, yemwe m'mbuyomu adazindikira kufunikira kwakusamalira khungu pakudalira kwa amuna, ali ndi mnzake wamkazi yemwe ali ndi bizinesi yosamalira khungu.

Pofunafuna ndemanga zamagetsi, amupatsa mankhwala kuti ayese, afunseni mayankho ake, ndipo moseketsa alangize njira zatsopano.

"Ndakhala ndikumudziwa kosatha, chifukwa chake amakhala ngati," Oo Mulungu wanga, muyenera kusiya kugwiritsa ntchito Vaseline! ndakuuzani kusiya kugwiritsa ntchito Vaseliniyo! 'Ndipo panali ena otsutsa, koma amakhoza kunena,' Tawonani, zikuyenda! 'Amandiphunzitsa. "

Werengani chipinda: Pezani nthawi yolunjika kapena kuyamika

Jussie, wazaka 26, nthawi zonse amakhala ndi khungu lopanda chilema. Makolo ake adalimbikitsa chisamaliro cha khungu kwa iye adakali aang'ono, kuphatikizapo kuphunzitsa kufunika kokhala ndi madzi. (Tikhulupirireni, izi zimapanga zodabwitsa kuti titsegule kuwala kwamkati.)

Ponena za chisamaliro cha khungu m'malo oopsa, akuti akuyenera kukhala wowongoka, popeza chisamaliro cha khungu sichimabwera. (M'malo mwake, akakhala m'malo a LGBTQ +, kuyamika kumawoneka kuti kumagwira ntchito bwino.)

Amagwira ntchito ngati kholo logona. Polankhula ndi ophunzira ake achimuna, a Jussie akuti, "Ndili patsogolo kwambiri. [Ndinganene], 'Mukufuna mafuta odzola. Chifukwa chiyani? Chifukwa khungu lako likung'ambika, ndipo silowoneka bwino. '”

Ophunzira ake akuda amakonda kuyamika thandizo lake lachindunji ndipo amayanjananso kuyitanidwa ndi manyazi. "Ophunzira anga omwe si Akuda angafunike zikumbutso zingapo," akutero. “Sindikuganiza kuti zikugwirizana nawo kuti kuwuma kwa khungu ndichinthu chomwe akuyenera kudziwa. Amakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi kusakhala ndi ziphuphu kapena zilema. ”

“Ndikadali ndi bala mpaka lero. Tsopano ndikungopempha mkazi wanga kuti andithandize ndi khungu langa. ” - Kobby, wazaka 36

Mofananamo, Erika, wazaka 54, yemwe amamenyera khungu louma amakhala moyo wake wonse, alibe njira yochepetsera mwamuna wake kuti azimuthiritsa.

“Ndinawona kuti nkhope ya mwamuna wanga inali yopupuluma. Zinali zoyipa kwenikweni, ngati chilombo! Ndiye ndinangomufunsa kuti, ‘Kodi nkhope yako ikuchitika chiyani? Kodi mwagwiritsa ntchito mafuta onunkhiritsa? ’Ndinali ndi nkhawa kuti gout wake wabwereranso, chifukwa khungu lake linali lopupuluma. Ndinali ndi nkhawa. ”

Ndi mbiri yake pazinthu zosamalira khungu, adatha kulangiza zonunkhira, zomwe adayesetsa mofunitsitsa.

David amalimbikitsa chisamaliro cha khungu kwa anyamata ndi achikulire monga chodziwitsa ukatswiri komanso kudzitama.

“Mukufuna kuwoneka bwino, mukudziwa… mukuyesa kupanga chiyani? Mchimwene wanga wamng'ono anali kusekondale, ndiye zili ngati, 'Limbitsani. Ndikudziwa kuti muli ndi kalembedwe kanu [ka hip-hop], koma atsikana amakondabe. Mukufuna ntchito, muyenera kuwoneka bwino. Simukufuna kuoneka ngati chipembere! '”

“[Mkazi wanga] anangondiuza kuti ndiyambe kugwiritsa ntchito chinyezi ndi zina zotero. Sanali wotsutsa kapena chilichonse. Amangofuna kundithandiza. ” - Orville, wazaka 60

David akutchulanso zopanga zojambulajambula ngati njira yothetsera mavuto. Momwemonso adathandizira agogo ake kupeza zinthu zometera zoyenera khungu lowonda chifukwa chakukalamba.

"Ndidaona kuti mchimwene wanga akutenga ndevu, ndipo ndidamufunsa kuti akumeta kapena ayi, wayesapo kapena ayi. Ndipo anali ndi ziphuphu pang'ono, ndipo ndidawona zopindika ... ndipo ndidati china: 'Izi zithandiza.' ”

Onsewa anali othandiza pamtunduwu ndipo adayesa malingaliro ake.

Nthawi zambiri, amuna ena amangodziwa kuti ndi ndani (ndi liti) kuti afunse

Okonkwo, wazaka 28, ndi yemwe amadziwika kuti ndi "mnyamata wa mnyamatayo" ndipo ndiwodzidalira komanso wowoneka bwino. Anamenya ziphuphu kuyambira ali wachinyamata ndipo wakhala akupita kwa dermatologist.

Sanalankhulepo ndi mwamuna wina kuti amuthandize khungu lake ndipo amadalira abwenzi ake kapena atsikana. Amaganiza kuti "amadziwa zambiri za izo kuposa anyamata." (Kuchokera pazolankhula zanga ndi amuna ena osamalira khungu, akunena zowona.)

Kobby, wazaka 36, ​​adalimbana ndi ziphuphu pomwe anali wachinyamata ndipo amatsimikizira kuti kupempha amuna ena kuti amuthandize khungu lake si njira yabwino kwambiri.

“Ndinkasewera mpira, ndipo mnzanga yemwe adasewera naye adandiwona pamphuno mwanga. Anandiuza kuti ndifinyire mpaka mafinya ndi magazi atuluke, kenako ndikugwiritsa ntchito pedi. Chifukwa chake ndidapita kunyumba ndikumachita. ”

Njira iyi, komabe, idamusiya ali ndi zipsera. Kwenikweni. “Ndikadali ndi bala mpaka lero. Tsopano ndikungopempha mkazi wanga kuti andithandize ndi khungu langa. ”

Orville, wazaka 60, atapumula posachedwa chifukwa cha zakudya zamasamba, adapempha mkazi wake kuti amuthandize ndikuyamikira njira yake yopanda kuweruza. “Anangondiuza kuti ndiyambe kugwiritsa ntchito mafuta onunkhira ndi zina zotero. Sanali wotsutsa kapena chilichonse. Amangofuna kundithandiza. ”

Ndipo ndicho chimake cha zonse. Pamene nsonga zosamalira khungu zatulutsidwa - kwa abambo ndi amai - ndichisamaliro, chifukwa cha chikondi.

Zahida Sherman ndi katswiri wosiyanasiyana komanso wophatikiza yemwe amalemba za chikhalidwe, mtundu, jenda, komanso ukalamba. Iye ndi wolemba mbiri yakale komanso wochita masewera olimbitsa thupi. Tsatirani iye mopitirira Instagram ndipo Twitter.