Momwe Kusambira Kunandithandizira Kuchira Kuchita Zachiwerewere

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Ndikulingalira kuti sindine yekhayo amene amasambira yemwe wakhumudwa kuti mutu uliwonse uyenera kuwerenga "kusambira" pokambirana za Brock Turner, membala wa gulu losambira la Stanford University yemwe wapatsidwa chilango chokhala m'ndende miyezi isanu ndi umodzi atapezeka wolakwa milandu itatu yakugwiriridwa mu Marichi. Osangokhala chifukwa chosafunikira, koma chifukwa ndimakonda kusambira. Zomwe zidandithandiza kupyola pogwiriridwa.

Ndinali wazaka 16 pamene izi zidachitika, koma sindinatchulepo kamodzi "chochitikacho" kuti chinali chiyani. Sikunali kokwiya kapena kokakamiza monga amafotokozera kusukulu. Sindinkafunika kumenya nkhondo. Sindinapite kuchipatala chifukwa ndinadulidwa ndipo ndimafunikira chithandizo chamankhwala. Koma ndinadziwa kuti zimene zinachitikazo zinali zolakwika, ndipo zinandiwononga.

Wondizondayo adandiuza kuti ndili ndi ngongole yake. Ndinakonzekera tsiku limodzi ndi gulu la anzanga omwe ndinakumana nawo pamsonkhano wa utsogoleri, koma tsikulo litafika aliyense anamasulidwa kupatula mnyamata m'modzi. Ndinayesa kunena kuti tidzakumananso nthawi ina; adakakamira kubwera. Tsiku lonse tidacheza ku kilabu yakunyanja komweko ndi anzanga onse, ndipo tsikulo litatha, ndidamutenga kuti ndibwerere kunyumba kwanga kukatenga galimoto yake ndikumuperekeza. Titafika kumeneko, anandiuza kuti sanayambe akuyendapo kale, ndipo anawona nkhalango zowirira kumbuyo kwa nyumba yanga ndi Appalachian Trail yolowera. Adafunsa ngati tingapite kukayenda mwachangu asanafike kunyumba yayitali, chifukwa "Ndili ndi ngongole kwa iye" poyendetsa njira yonseyo.

Tinali titangofika kumene m'nkhalango momwe sindinathe kuwona nyumba yanga atatifunsa ngati tingakhale pansi ndikulankhula pamtengo wakugwa pafupi ndi njira. Mwadala ndidakhala kuti sindingafikire, koma samalandira lingaliro. Iye ankangondiuza mmene zinalili mwano kumuchititsa kuti abwere kudzandiona osati kumutumiza kunyumba ndi “mphatso yoyenera”. Anayamba kundigwiragwira, nati ndili ndi ngongole nayo chifukwa sanandilipire ndalama ngati wina aliyense. Sindinkafuna chilichonse, koma sindinathe kuyimitsa.

Ndinadzitsekera m’chipinda changa kwa mlungu umodzi pambuyo pake chifukwa sindinathe kukumana ndi aliyense. Ndinadzimva wonyansa kwambiri ndi wamanyazi; ndendende momwe wozunzidwa ndi Turner adayiyika mu adilesi yake ya khothi kwa Turner: "Sindikufunanso thupi langa…Ndinkafuna kuvula thupi langa ngati jekete ndikulisiya." Sindinadziwe kuti ndingalankhule bwanji. Sindinathe kuuza makolo anga kuti ndinagonanapo; akanakhala atandikwiyira kwambiri. Sindinathe kuwauza abwenzi anga; ankanditchula mayina oipa kwambiri ndipo ndinkakhala ndi mbiri yoipa. Kotero sindinauze aliyense kwa zaka zambiri, ndipo ndinayesera kupitiriza ngati palibe chomwe chinachitika.

"Zochitikazi" zitangochitika, ndidapeza njira yochotsera ululu wanga. Kunali koyeserera - tinapanga lactate set, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti timasambira ma 200 mita momwe tingathere ndikupanga nthawi, yomwe idatsika ndi masekondi awiri gawo lililonse. Ndinasambira masewera onse olimbitsa thupi ndi magalasi anga odzaza ndi misozi, koma nthawi yopweteka kwambiri imeneyo inali nthawi yoyamba yomwe ndinatulutsa ululu wanga.

"Wamva zowawa kwambiri kuposa izi. Yesetsani kwambiri," ndinadzibwereza ndekha nthawi yonseyi. Ndidakhala motalika maseti sikisi kuposa anzanga omwe ndimasewera nawo, ndipo ndidazolowera anyamata ambiri. Tsiku limenelo, ndinamva kuti madzi ndi malo amodzi omwe ndimadzimvabe ndekha pakhungu langa. Nditha kuthana ndi mkwiyo wanga wonse wopwetekedwa kumeneko. Sindinamvepo zauve kumeneko. Ndinali otetezeka m'madzi. Ndinali pamenepo kwa ine ndekha, ndikukankhira ululu wanga mwanjira yathanzi komanso yovuta kwambiri yomwe ndingathere.

Ndinasambira ku Springfield College, sukulu yaing'ono ya NCAA DIII ku Massachusetts. Ndinali ndi mwayi kuti sukulu yanga inali ndi pulogalamu yodabwitsa ya New Student Orientation (NSO) ya ophunzira omwe akubwera. Unali ulendo wamasiku atatu wokhala ndi mapulogalamu ambiri osangalatsa ndi zochitika, ndipo mkati mwake, tinali ndi pulogalamu yotchedwa Diversity Skit, pomwe atsogoleri a NSO, omwe anali apamwamba pasukulupo, amayimirira ndikugawana nkhani zawo zokhudzana ndi zowawa zomwe zidachitika pamoyo wawo. : matenda okhudzana ndi kadyedwe, matenda obadwa nawo, makolo ankhanza, nkhani zomwe mwina simunakumane nazo mukukula. Adzagawana nkhanizi ngati chitsanzo kwa ophunzira atsopano kuti ili ndi dziko latsopano lokhala ndi anthu atsopano; khalani tcheru ndikuzindikira omwe akukhala pafupi nanu.

Mtsikana wina adayimirira ndikufotokoza nkhani yake yokhudza kugwiriridwa, ndipo aka kanali koyamba kuti ndimve malingaliro anga kuchokera pazomwe ndidachita. Nkhani yake inali momwe ndinadziwira zomwe zidandichitikira zinali ndi label. Ine, Caroline Kosciusko, ndinali nditagwiriridwapo.

Ndinalowa nawo NSO kumapeto kwa chaka chimenecho chifukwa anali gulu labwino kwambiri la anthu, ndipo ndimafuna kugawana nawo nkhani yanga. Wophunzitsira wanga wosambira amadana ndi zomwe ndinalowa nawo chifukwa adati zitha kutenga nthawi kusambira, koma ndimamva kulumikizana ndi gulu la anthu lomwe sindinamvepo kale, ngakhale padziwe. Aka kanalinso koyamba kuti ndilembe zomwe zidandichitikira-ndinkafuna kuwuza munthu watsopano yemwe adachitidwapo zachipongwe. Ndinafuna kuti adziwe kuti sali okha, kuti silinali vuto lawo. Ndinkafuna kuti adziwe kuti si opanda pake. Ndinkafuna kuthandiza ena kuti ayambe kupeza mtendere.

Koma sindinagawanepo. Chifukwa chiyani? Chifukwa ndinali ndi mantha ndimomwe dziko lapansi likanandionera. Poyamba ndinkadziwika kuti ndine munthu wokonda kusambira mosangalala, wokonda kucheza ndi anthu komanso wokonda kuseketsa anthu. Ndidasunga izi kudzera mchilichonse, ndipo palibe amene adadziwa ndikamalimbana ndi chinthu chamdima chonchi. Sindinkafuna kuti omwe amandidziwa angondiona mwadzidzidzi. Sindinkafuna kuti anthu azindiyang'ana mwachisoni m'malo mokhala achimwemwe. Sindinali wokonzeka kutero, koma tsopano.

Omwe agwiriridwa ayenera kudziwa kuti gawo lovuta kwambiri ndikumalankhula za izi. Simungadziwitse momwe anthu adzachitire, ndipo zomwe mumalandira sizomwe mungakonzekere. Koma ndikukuwuzani izi: Zimangotenga kulimba mtima kwa mphindi 30 kuti musinthe moyo wanu kuti ukhale wabwino. Nditangouza wina, sizomwe ndimayembekezera, komabe zidali zosangalatsa kudziwa kuti sindine ndekha amene ndimadziwa.

Ndikawerenga mawu a Brock Turner tsiku lina, zidanditumiziranso komwe ndimakwera ndikamva nkhani ngati izi. Ndimakwiya; ayi, wokwiya, zomwe zimandipangitsa kukhala wodandaula komanso wokhumudwa masana. Kudzuka pabedi kumakhala kovuta. Nkhaniyi, makamaka, idandikhudza, chifukwa womenyedwayo ndi Turner analibe mwayi wobisala monga ine. Iye anawululidwa kwambiri. Anayenera kubwera kudzalankhula zonsezi kukhothi, m'njira yowopsa kwambiri. Anamuukira, kumukalipira, ndi kumunyoza pamaso pa abale ake, okondedwa ake, komanso womuzunza. Ndipo zonse zitatha, mnyamatayo sanaonebe chimene anachita. Sanamupepese. Woweruza anatenga mbali yake.

Ndicho chifukwa chake sindinayankhulepo za zinthu zosokoneza zomwe zinandigwera. Ndingakonde ndikumangirira chilichonse kuposa kuti wina andipangitse kumva kuti ndiyenera izi, kuti ili ndiye vuto langa. Koma ndi nthawi yoti ndipange chisankho chovuta kwambiri, chosankha choyenera, ndikukhala mawu kwa iwo omwe akuchitabe mantha kuti alankhule. Ichi ndi chinthu chomwe chandipanga kukhala chomwe ndili, koma sichinandiphwanye. Ndine mkazi wolimba, wokondwa, wokondwa, wosasunthika, wotengeka, wokonda lero lero chifukwa cha nkhondoyi yomwe ndakhala ndikumenya ndekha. Koma ndine wokonzeka kuti izi zisakhale nkhondo yanga, ndipo ndine wokonzeka kuthandiza ena omwe akumenyedwa kumenya.

Ndimadana nazo kuti Brock Turner ali ndi "wosambira" wophatikizidwa ku dzina lake m'nkhani iliyonse. Ndimadana ndi zomwe adachita. Ndimadana kuti wovutitsidwayo mwina sangayang'anenso ma Olimpiki monyadira dziko lake chifukwa cha zomwe mawu oti "wosambira chiyembekezo ku Olimpiki" amatanthauza kwa iye. Ndimadana nazo kuti kusambira kunawonongeka chifukwa cha iye. Chifukwa ndi zomwe zinandipulumutsa.

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