Ndinabadwa ndili ndi zaka 30 ndi zaka 40. Apa pali kusiyana

Zamkati

• Zaka zambiri kumbuyo kwanu sikutanthauza mavuto ambiri mtsogolo

Zinkawoneka ngati dziko lonse lapansi likundiuza momwe zingakhalire zovuta. Koma m'njira zambiri, zakhala zosavuta.

Sindinakhalepo ndi zokambirana za ukalamba, komanso sindinali wotanganidwa kwambiri ndi msinkhu wanga ngati china chilichonse kuposa zaka zomwe ndakhala ndili mdziko lapansi, kufikira pomwe ndidayamba kuyesa kutenga pakati ndili ndi zaka 38. Zonse mwadzidzidzi, ndinali wovomerezeka akale. Kapena, mazira anga anali.

Ndinakumana ndi biology yomwe ndinalibe mphamvu pa izi: Amayi akamakula, mazira amachepa mwachilengedwe komanso mwaubwino. Malinga ndi American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, kubereka kumayamba kutsika kwambiri azaka pafupifupi 32, kenako ndikumatsikira pazaka 37.

Tidayesa kwa miyezi isanu ndi umodzi, kenako kuyesa kuyesa kubereka ndikupeza kuti ndili ndi "malo ochepa aziberekero azaka zanga." Chifukwa chake sindinangokhala ndi mazira ochepa chifukwa ndinali ndi zaka 40, ndinali ndi mazira ocheperako kuposa omwe akanaganiziridwa kwa ine ndili ndi zaka 40. M'miyezi ingapo yotsatira, tinayesedwa kwambiri, tinayamba kuganizira mozama za IVF, ndipo ndidafunsa dokotala wanga, “Ndichite chiyani china?”

"Yesetsani kuti musapanikizike," adatero. "Chotsani cholembapo cha mafunsocho, lekani kuloweza ziwerengero, ndipo pumulani kwa Dr. Google."

Kotero ine ndinatero. Ndipo tidakhala ndi pakati - popanda IVF kapena china chilichonse. Zinatenga miyezi 12 kutsekula pamitengo ya ovulation ndikukhala ndi nthawi yochuluka yogonana, koma zidachitika.

Zinangotenga, chabwino, miyezi 12 kutalika kuposa momwe zinalili ndili 29 ndi 31.

Zaka zambiri kumbuyo kwanu sikutanthauza mavuto ambiri mtsogolo

Kupatula kudikirira kwakanthawi kuti ndione mizere iwiri yabuluu pamayeso apakati, ndinganene moona mtima kuti mimba yanga 40 kuphatikiza sinali yosiyana ndi yanga yoyamba. Ndinali mkazi wa AMA (zaka zapakati pa amayi apakati) - osachepera sagwiritsanso ntchito mawu oti "amayi ovuta" - koma sindinachitiridwe mosiyana ndi azamba omwe amandisamalira.

Vuto langa lokhalo lathanzi linali kukhumudwa, komwe kudali vuto panthawi yomwe ndinali ndi pakati komaliza komanso sikugwirizana ndi msinkhu. M'malo mwake, ndikuganiza kuti thanzi langa lamisala lidakhala bwino panthawi yomwe ndinali ndi pakati posachedwa. Ndili ndi zaka zambiri zokumana nazo (zabwino komanso zoyipa zamaganizidwe), ndipo ndimakhala wotseguka kwambiri pazokhudza matenda anga kuposa momwe ndinalili nthawi imeneyo. Sindingathe kuvala nkhope yolimba mtima kapena kukwirira mutu wanga mumchenga.

Kupatula thanzi langa lamisala, ndili bwino m'njira zina. Nditakhala ndi pakati ndili ndi zaka 29, ndinali msungwana wachisangalalo yemwe ndimamwa mowa kwambiri ndipo ndimapulumuka ndikutenga ndikudya chakudya chokonzekera. Nditakhala ndi pakati ndili ndi zaka 31, ndinali msungwana wamba wanthawi yayitali ndipo ndimadya ma veggie ambiri, koma ndinali ndi mwana wathanzi woyenera kusamalira.

Kumbali inayi, nditakhala ndi pakati ndili ndi zaka 39, ndinali wogulitsa ma teetot, ndimadya zakudya zonse zoyenera, ndimachita masewera olimbitsa thupi pafupipafupi, ndipo ndimakhala ndi ana azaka zopita kusukulu, kutanthauza kuti nditha kugona pang'ono.

Zaka amachita nkhani ikafika pobereka mwana. Kupatula kutenga nthawi yayitali, pafupifupi, kuti atenge pakati, amayi achikulire amatha kukhala ndi kapena, komanso amayi ndi mwana.

Kumva ndi kuwerenga zinthu zonsezi kungapangitse zomwe zili ndi kuthekera konse kukhala chinthu chopanikizika kwambiri ngakhale kukulitsa nkhawa. Koma ndine umboni kuti kukhala ndi mwana wazaka 40 sizosiyana kwenikweni ndi kuchita pa 30.

Kubadwa kwanga koyamba kunali kubereka, koma gawo lachiwiri ndi lachitatu lidakonzedwa magawo a C zaka 8 patadutsa, kotero ndimatha kufananiza zolemba zawo. Ndinali ndi mwayi: Zopeza zonse ziwirizi zinali zolemba. Komanso, palibe chomwe chinali chovuta kapena chotenga nthawi yayitali kuzungulira, chifukwa ndinali nditakhala zaka zingapo pakadali pano.

Mwana wanga wamkazi womaliza tsopano ali ndi miyezi 11. Ndi wolimbikira ntchito. Koma makanda onse ali - kaya muli ndi zaka 25, 35, kapena 45. Kodi ndidzakhala wamkulu kuposa amayi azaka 25 kuzipata zamasukulu pomwe ndimamusiya tsiku lake loyamba? Zachidziwikire ndidzatero, chifukwa ndidzakhala. Ndikhala wazaka 45. Koma sindidzawona ngati chinthu cholakwika.

Ngati tinganyalanyaze zomwe atolankhani amatiuza zakukalamba - komanso azimayi omwe akukalamba, makamaka - ndimasewera a manambala okha. Monga mkazi, komanso ngati mayi, ndine wochulukirapo kuposa tsiku la satifiketi yanga yobadwa.

Kwa ine, kusiyana kwakukulu pakati pa kubala zaka 30 ndikubereka zaka 40 kunali koyenera. Pa 30, ndimasamalabe kwambiri za zomwe anthu ena - komanso gulu lonse - amaganiza za ine. Pazaka 40, sindinapereke vuto.

Mimba yanga yonse itatu inali madalitso akulu, koma wachitatu wanga makamaka chifukwa ndimadziwa kuti nthawi sinali kumbali yanga, mozama za biology. Nditakhala ndi pakati, ndimakumbatira mphindi iliyonse. Ndipo ndikufunitsitsa kukumbatirana nthawi zonse zomwe zikubwera, osataya mphindi yachiwiri ndikudandaula za msinkhu wanga.

Claire Gillespie ndi wolemba pawokha wodzilemba pawokha pa Health, SELF, Refinery29, Glamor, The Washington Post, ndi ena ambiri. Amakhala ku Scotland ndi amuna awo ndi ana asanu ndi mmodzi, komwe amagwiritsa ntchito mphindi iliyonse (yosowa) kuti agwiritse ntchito buku lawo. Tsatirani iye Pano.