Ndidasiya Kupsinjika Kwawo Kuti Nditenge Mimba, Ndipo Izi Ndi Zomwe Zachitika

Zamkati

• Momwe ulendo wanga udayambira
• Kuchotsa mankhwala anga
• Njira yamavuto
• Momwe ndidakhalira
• Kudzisamalira ndekha

Ndakhala ndikufuna kukhala ndi ana kwanthawi yonse yomwe ndikukumbukira. Kuposa digiri iliyonse, ntchito iliyonse, kapena kuchita bwino kulikonse, ndimalota ndikupanga banja langa.

Ndimalingalira moyo wanga wopangidwa mozungulira za umayi - kukwatiwa, kutenga pakati, kulera ana, ndiyeno kukondedwa ndi iwo mu ukalamba wanga. Chikhumbo chokhala ndi banja chinakula kwambiri pamene ndimakula, ndipo sindinathe kudikira kuti nthawi yowonera ikwaniritsidwe.

Ndinakwatirana ndili ndi zaka 27 ndipo ndili ndi zaka 30, ine ndi mwamuna wanga tidaganiza kuti ndife okonzeka kuyamba kuyesa kutenga pakati. Ndipo iyi inali nthawi yomwe maloto anga okhala mayi adakumana ndi zenizeni za matenda anga amisala.

Momwe ulendo wanga udayambira

Anandipeza ndili ndi nkhawa yayikulu ndili ndi zaka 21, komanso ndidakumana ndi vuto laubwana ndili ndi zaka 13 kutsatira kudzipha kwa abambo anga. M'malingaliro mwanga, matenda anga ndi kufunitsitsa kwanga kukhala ndi ana nthawi zonse zakhala zosiyana. Sindingaganizirepo momwe chithandizo chamankhwala amisala komanso kuthekera kwanga kokhala ndi ana zidalumikizirana - zomwe ndamva kuchokera kwa azimayi ambiri kuyambira pofotokoza za nkhani yanga.

Nditayamba ulendowu, cholinga changa chinali kutenga pakati. Malotowa adabwera china chilichonse, kuphatikiza thanzi langa komanso kukhazikika. Sindingalole chilichonse kundisokoneza, ngakhale moyo wanga.

Ndidayitanitsa mwakachetechete osafunsanso lingaliro lachiwiri kapena kupenda mosamala zomwe zingachitike ndikamamwa mankhwala anga. Ndinapeputsa mphamvu yamatenda osachiritsidwa.

Kuchotsa mankhwala anga

Ndinasiya kumwa mankhwala anga ndikuyang'aniridwa ndi madokotala atatu amisala. Onse ankadziwa mbiri ya banja langa komanso kuti ndinali wopulumuka chifukwa chodzipha. Koma sanaganizire izi pondilangiza kuti ndikhale ndi nkhawa. Sanapereke mankhwala ena omwe amaonedwa kuti ndi otetezeka. Adandiuza kuti ndiganizire kaye zaumoyo wa mwana wanga.

Madokotala atasiya kachitidwe kanga, ndinamasula pang'onopang'ono. Zinandivuta kugwira ntchito ndipo ndinkalira nthawi zonse. Kuda nkhawa kwanga kunalibe ma chart. Ndinauzidwa kulingalira momwe ndingakhalire wosangalala monga mayi. Kuganizira momwe ndimafunira kukhala ndi mwana.

Katswiri wina wazamisala anandiuza kuti ndimutenge Advil ndikadwala mutu kwambiri. Ndikulakalaka kuti m'modzi wa iwo atakweza galasi. Anandiuza kuti ndichepetse. Kuika moyo wanga patsogolo.

Njira yamavuto

Mu Disembala 2014, patatha chaka chimodzi nditakumana mwachidwi kwanthawi yayitali ndi asing'anga amisala, ndidadwala matenda amisala. Pakadali pano, ndinali nditasiyiratu kuchipatala. Ndidamva kupsinjika m'mbali zonse za moyo wanga, mwaukadaulo komanso pandekha. Ndinayamba kukhala ndi malingaliro ofuna kudzipha. Mwamuna wanga anachita mantha atawona mkazi wake waluso, wolimba mtima akugwa.

M'mwezi wa Marichi chaka chomwecho, ndidadzimva kuti ndikulakalaka ndipo ndidapita kuchipatala cha amisala. Zolinga zanga ndi maloto anga oti ndikhale ndi mwana zidatheratu ndi nkhawa yanga yayikulu, nkhawa yayikulu, komanso mantha osatha.

Chaka chotsatira, ndidagonekedwa kawiri ndipo ndidakhala miyezi isanu ndi umodzi mchipatala pang'ono. Nthawi yomweyo ndinabwezeretsanso mankhwala ndipo ndinamaliza maphunziro a SSRIs olowa m'magulu olimbitsa thupi, ma antipychotic antipsychotic, ndi benzodiazepines.

Ndinadziwa popanda kufunsa kuti anganene kuti kukhala ndi mwana pa mankhwalawa sichinali lingaliro labwino. Zinanditengera zaka zitatu ndikugwira ntchito ndi madotolo kuti ndisiye mankhwala opitilira 10, mpaka atatu omwe ndimamwa pakadali pano.

Munthawi yamdima komanso yowopsa iyi, maloto anga okhala mayi adazimiririka. Zinkawoneka ngati zosatheka. Sikuti mankhwala anga atsopanowa adangotengedwa ngati osatetezeka pathupi, ndidafunsanso kuthekera kwanga kukhala kholo.

Moyo wanga unali utasokonekera. Kodi zinthu zafika poipa bwanji? Ndingaganize bwanji zokhala ndi mwana pomwe sindimatha kudzisamalira ndekha?

Momwe ndidakhalira

Ngakhale nthawi zopweteka kwambiri zimapereka mwayi wokula. Ndinapeza mphamvu zanga ndipo ndinayamba kuzigwiritsa ntchito.

Pochiza, ndinaphunzira kuti amayi ambiri amatenga pakati akadwala mankhwala opatsirana pogonana komanso ana awo ali athanzi - kutsutsana ndi upangiri womwe ndidalandira kale. Ndidapeza madotolo omwe adagawana nawo kafukufuku, akundiwonetsa zenizeni zakomwe mankhwala amakhudzira kukula kwa mwana.

Ndinayamba kufunsa mafunso ndikubwerera mmbuyo ndikamva kuti ndikulandila upangiri uliwonse. Ndinazindikira kufunikira koti ndilandirenso malingaliro ena ndikudzifufuza ndekha pamaupangiri aliwonse amisala omwe ndidapatsidwa. Tsiku ndi tsiku, ndinaphunzira momwe ndingakhalire woyimira kumbuyo kwanga.

Kwa kanthawi, ndinali wokwiya. Pokwiya. Ndinachita chidwi ndikawona mimba zapakati ndi ana akumwetulira. Zinandipweteka kuwona akazi ena akumana ndi zomwe ndimafuna kwambiri. Ndidakhala pa Facebook ndi Instagram, ndikuvutika kuti ndiyang'ane zolengeza zakubadwa ndi maphwando akubadwa kwa ana.

Zinkawoneka ngati zopanda chilungamo kuti maloto anga adasokonezedwa. Kulankhula ndi wothandizira wanga, banja, ndi abwenzi apamtima kunandithandiza kupirira masiku ovutawo. Ndinafunika kutulutsa mawu ndikuthandizidwa ndi omwe anali pafupi kwambiri nane. Mwanjira ina, ndikuganiza kuti ndinali kumva chisoni. Ndinali nditataya maloto anga ndipo sindinathebe kuwona momwe angaukitsire.

Kudwala kwambiri ndikumachira kwakanthawi kowawa kunandiphunzitsa phunziro lofunika kwambiri: Kukhala bwino kwanga kuyenera kukhala patsogolo. Maloto kapena cholinga china chisanachitike, ndiyenera kudzisamalira ndekha.

Za ine, izi zikutanthauza kukhala pamankhwala komanso kutenga nawo mbali pazithandizo. Zimatanthawuza kumvera mbendera zofiira osanyalanyaza zikwangwani.

Kudzisamalira ndekha

Awa ndi malangizo omwe ndikukhumba ndikadapatsidwa kale, ndikuti ndikupatseni tsopano: Yambani kuchokera pamalo abwinobwino amisala. Khalanibe okhulupirika kulandira chithandizo chomwe chimagwira. Musalole kuti kusaka ndi Google kamodzi kapena kusankhidwa kamodzi kukutsimikizireni zomwe mungachite. Fufuzani malingaliro ena ndi njira zina zomwe mungasankhe zomwe zingakhudze thanzi lanu.

Amy Marlow ali ndi nkhawa komanso nkhawa yayikulu, ndipo ndiye wolemba Blue Light Blue, yemwe adadziwika kuti ndi amodzi mwamabuku athu abwino kwambiri. Tsatirani iye pa Twitter pa @_bluelightblue_.