Njira 3 Zovomerezeka ndi Othandizira Kuti Aletse 'Kudzichitira Manyazi'

Zamkati

• 1. Gwiritsani ntchito zitsimikiziro kuti muzidzimvera chisoni
• 2. Kubwerera ku thupi
• 3. Yesani kusuntha pang'ono
• Ndiye mukumva bwanji?

Kudzimvera chisoni ndi luso - ndipo ndi lomwe tonsefe titha kuphunzira.

Nthawi zambiri mukakhala mu "njira zakuwongolera," ndimakumbutsa makasitomala anga nthawi zambiri kuti pomwe tikugwira ntchito molimbika kuti tisiye zomwe sizikutithandizanso, ndife komanso kugwira ntchito yolimbikitsa kudzimvera chisoni. Ndi chinthu chofunikira pantchitoyo!

Ngakhale zingakhale zophweka kuti enafe timve ndikumvera ena chifundo, nthawi zambiri zimakhala zovuta kukulitsa kudzimvera chisoni tokha (mmalo mwake, ndimawona manyazi ambiri, kudzudzula, ndi malingaliro wolakwa - mipata yonse yodzichitira chisoni).

Kodi ndikutanthauza chiyani ndikudzimvera chisoni? Chifundo mozama ndikufotokozera za mavuto omwe anthu ena akukumana nawo komanso kufunitsitsa kuwathandiza. Chifukwa chake, kwa ine, kudzimvera chisoni ndikutenga malingaliro omwewo ndikudzigwiritsa ntchito kwa inu eni.

Aliyense amafuna thandizo kudzera muulendo wawo wamachiritso ndi kukula. Ndipo nchifukwa ninji thandizo limenelo siliyenera kubweranso mkati?

Ganizirani zachifundo, ndiye, osati ngati komwe mukupita, koma ngati chida paulendo wanu.

Mwachitsanzo, ngakhale muulendo wanga wokonda kudzikonda, ndimakhalabe ndi nkhawa ndikapanda kuchita "mwangwiro," kapena ndikalakwitsa zomwe zingayambitse manyazi.

Posachedwa, ndidalemba nthawi yolakwika yoyambira gawo loyamba ndi kasitomala zomwe zidandipangitsa kuti ndiyambe mphindi 30 pambuyo pake kuposa momwe amayembekezera. Yikes.

Pozindikira izi, ndimamva kuti mtima wanga walowa pachifuwa panga ndi adrenaline ndikutentha kwambiri m'masaya mwanga. Ine kwathunthu effed up ... ndipo pamwamba pa izo, Ine ndinachita izo pamaso pa kasitomala!

Koma kudziwa zamtunduwu kunandilola kupumira mwa iwo kuti ndichepetse. Ndinadziitanira (mwakachetechete, kumene) kuti ndimasulire manyazi ndikukhala bata pagawolo. Ndidadzikumbutsa kuti ndine munthu - ndipo ndizabwino kuposa zonse kuti zinthu zisamayende mogwirizana ndi dongosolo nthawi zonse.

Kuchokera kumeneko, ndinadzilola kuti ndiphunzire kuchokera ku snafu iyi, inenso. Ndinatha kupanga dongosolo labwino ndekha. Ndinayang'ananso ndi kasitomala wanga kuti ndiwonetsetse kuti ndingawathandize, m'malo mozizira kapena kunyalanyaza manyazi.

Kutembenuka, anali bwino kwathunthu, chifukwa amakhoza kundiona ine choyambirira komanso ngati munthu, inenso.

Ndiye, ndinaphunzira bwanji kubwerera m'mbuyo munthawi imeneyi? Zinandithandiza kuyamba ndikulingalira zondichitikira zondifotokozera munthu wachitatu.

Izi ndichifukwa choti, ambiri a ife, titha kulingalira kupereka chifundo kwa wina aliyense bwino kuposa momwe tingathere (makamaka chifukwa tachita zoyambazo mochuluka kwambiri).

Kuchokera pamenepo, ndikhoza kudzifunsa kuti, "Kodi ndingamupatse bwanji chifundo munthuyu?"

Ndipo zikuwoneka kuti kuwonedwa, kuvomerezedwa, ndi kuthandizidwa anali magawo ofunikira a equation. Ndinadzilola kamphindi kuti ndibwerere ndikulingalira zomwe ndimaziwona ndekha, ndikuvomereza nkhawa ndi kudzimva kuti ndikubwera, kenako ndidadzilimbitsa ndekha pochita zinthu zothandiza kukonza vutoli.

Ndikunenedwa kuti, kukulitsa kudzimvera chisoni sichinthu chochepa. Chifukwa chake, tisanapite patsogolo, ndikufuna kwambiri kuti ndizilemekeza. Chowonadi chakuti ndinu wofunitsitsa ndi wotseguka kuti mufufuze ngakhale zomwe izi zingatanthauze kwa inu ndi gawo lofunikira kwambiri.

Ndilo gawo lomwe ndikupemphani kuti muchitepo kanthu tsopano ndi njira zitatu zosavuta.

1. Gwiritsani ntchito zitsimikiziro kuti muzidzimvera chisoni

Ambiri aife omwe timalimbana ndi kudzimvera chisoni timavutikanso ndi zomwe ndimawatcha manyazi kapena chilombo chodzikayikira, chomwe mawu awo amatha kutuluka munthawi zosayembekezereka.

Ndili ndi malingaliro, ndatchula mawu ofala kwambiri a chilombo chamanyazi:

• "Sindine wokwanira."
• "Sindimayenera kumva motere."
• "Chifukwa chiyani sindingathe kuchita zinthu ngati anthu ena?"
• "Ndakalamba kwambiri kuti ndikulimbana ndi mavuto awa."
• “Ndikanayenera [kudzaza mawuwo]; Ndikanatha [kulembani mawuwo]. ”

Monga kusinthira minofu kapena kuyeserera maluso ena atsopano, kukulitsa kudzimvera chisoni kumafuna kuti tizichita "kuyankha" kuchinyama chamanyazi ichi. Pakapita nthawi, chiyembekezo ndikuti mawu anu amkati amalimba ndikukulira kuposa liwu lakudzikayikira.

Zitsanzo zina zoyesera:

• "Ndine woyenera komanso woyenera Mulungu."
• "Ndiloledwa kumva ngakhale ndimamva bwanji - malingaliro anga ndi ovomerezeka."
• "Ndine wapadera m'njira zanga zodabwitsa ndikadali kugawana zokumana nazo zopatulika zolumikizana ndi anthu ambiri."
• "Sindidzakalamba kwambiri (kapena zochuluka kwambiri, chifukwa chake) kupitiliza kukulitsa chidwi chazomwe ndimachita komanso malo oti ndikule."
• “Mphindi ino ndili [lembani mawuwo]; pakadali pano ndikumva [lembani mawuwo]. ”

Ngati izi sizikumveka mwachilengedwe kwa inu, zili bwino! Yesani kutsegula buku ndikulemba zotsimikizira zanu.

2. Kubwerera ku thupi

Monga wothandizira wa somatic yemwe amayang'ana kwambiri kulumikizana kwa thupi, mudzawona kuti nthawi zonse ndimayitanitsa anthu kuti abwerere matupi awo. Zimakhala ngati chinthu changa.

Nthawi zambiri, kugwiritsa ntchito kujambula kapena kuyenda ngati zida zothandizira kukhoza kukhala kothandiza kwambiri. Ndi chifukwa chakuti akutilola kuti tidzifotokoze tokha kuchokera pamalo pomwe sitidziwa bwinobwino.

Ndili ndi malingaliro, dzichepetseni nokha kuti mufotokozere momwe zimakhalira ndikumvomereza zomwe ndikukupatsani - mwina kuyang'ana pa omwe amalankhula nanu kwambiri. Lolani kuti mugwiritse ntchito mitundu iliyonse yomwe ikukukhudzani komanso chilengedwe chilichonse chomwe chikukukhudzani. Pamene mukutero, Dziloleni nokha kuti muzindikire ndikukhala ndi chidwi ndi momwe zimamvekera m'thupi lanu kuti mujambula.

Kodi mukuzindikira kuti pali zovuta zina mthupi lanu? Kodi mungayesere kuwamasula kudzera mu luso lanu? Zolimba kapena zofewa bwanji mukukanikiza pansi ndi chikhomo chanu pomwe mukupanga? Kodi mungazindikire momwe zimamvekera mthupi lanu, ndiyeno momwe zimamvekera kuyitanitsa mitundu ingapo yazapanikizika papepala?

Zonsezi ndizomwe thupi lanu limakhala lokoma mtima kugawana nanu, ngati mudzamvera. (Inde, ndikudziwa kuti zikumveka ngati woo-woo, koma mwina mungadabwe ndi zomwe mumapeza.)

3. Yesani kusuntha pang'ono

Zachidziwikire, ngati kupanga zaluso sikukugwirizana nanu, ndiye kuti ndikupemphani kuti mumve kayendedwe kapena mayendedwe omwe akufuna kapena amafunikira kuwonetsedwa bwino.

Mwachitsanzo, ndikakhala kuti ndikufuna kukonza momwe ndikumvera, ndimakhala ndi mayankho a yoga omwe amatenga pakati ndikutsegula ndikutseka zomwe zimandithandiza kuti ndikhale wosakhazikika. Mmodzi wa iwo akusintha maulendo angapo pakati pa Happy Baby ndi Child's Pose. Enanso ndi Cat-Cow, yomwe imandithandizanso kuti ndizigwirizana ndikuchepetsa mpweya wanga.

Kudzichitira chifundo sikuli kovuta nthawi zonse kukulitsa, makamaka pamene nthawi zambiri timatha kudzidzudzula tokha. Chifukwa chake, kupeza njira zina zopezera malingaliro athu omwe amatichotsa mmawu amawu kungathandizenso.

Tikamapanga zaluso zochiritsira, ndizokhudza ndondomekoyi, osati zotsatira zake. Zomwezo zimapitilira yoga ndi mayendedwe. Kudzilola kuti muganizire momwe dongosololi likukukhudzirani, ndikudziwona momwe ena amawonekera, ndi gawo limodzi lamomwe timadzichitira chifundo.

Ndiye mukumva bwanji?

Kaya mukumva bwanji, palibe chifukwa choweruzira. Ingokumana nawo kulikonse komwe ungakhale.

Kuyesetsa kumasula ziweruzo ndi ziyembekezo zomwe ena amatipatsa si ntchito yophweka, koma ndi ntchito yopatulika. Pakapita nthawi imatha kukhala gwero lenileni lamphamvu. Mukuchiritsa bala lomwe ambiri sakulidziwa; mukuyenera kudzikondwerera mu zonsezi.

Pakapita nthawi, mukamasinthasintha minofu yatsopanoyi, mupeza kuti kudzimvera chisoni ndi tochi yokonzeka, kukutsogolerani kupyola chilichonse chomwe mungakumane nacho.

Rachel Otis ndi somatic Therapist, queer intersectional feminist, womenyera thupi, wopulumuka matenda a Crohn, komanso wolemba maphunziro ku California Institute of Integral Study ku San Francisco ndi digiri yake yaukatswiri pakulangiza zama psychology. Rachel amakhulupirira kupatsa munthu mwayi wopitiliza kusintha ma paradigms, pomwe amakondwerera thupi muulemerero wake wonse. Magawo amapezeka pang'onopang'ono komanso kudzera pa tele-therapy. Fikirani kwa iye kudzera pa imelo.