Zotsatira Zokhalitsa Zokalipira Ana Anu

Zamkati

• Chidule
• Nchifukwa chiyani makolo amafuula?
• Zotsatira zakufuula
• Njira zina zokweza mawu anu
• 1. Dzipatseni nthawi yokwanira
• 2. Kambiranani za momwe akumvera
• 3. Lankhulani ndi khalidwe loipa modekha, koma mwamphamvu
• 4. Gwiritsani ntchito zotsatirapo, koma siyani zoopseza
• Mawu onena za zosowa zoyambira
• Zoyenera kuchita mukafuula
• Kodi mkwiyo wanu wakula kwambiri?

Chidule

Ngati ndinu kholo, mukudziwa kuti nthawi zina kutengeka kumakupambanitsani. Mwanjira ina ana amatha kukankha mabataniwo omwe simunadziwe kuti muli nawo. Ndipo musanadziwe, mumafuula kuchokera m'mapapu anu.

Simuli nokha pochita izi, ndipo malingaliro anu okhumudwa ndi makolo amakhala abwinobwino. Chosangalatsa ndichakuti mutha kusintha momwe mumalankhulira ndi ana anu, ndikusintha kuchokera pakulira monologue ndikukambirana mwachikondi.

Nchifukwa chiyani makolo amafuula?

Yankho lalifupi ndichifukwa chakuti timakhumudwa kapena kukwiya, zomwe zimatipangitsa kukweza mawu athu. Koma izi sizimathetsa mavuto nthawi zambiri. Zitha kutontholetsa ana ndikuwapangitsa kukhala omvera kwakanthawi kochepa, koma sizingawathandize kuwongolera machitidwe awo kapena malingaliro awo.

Mwachidule, zimawaphunzitsa kuti akuopeni m'malo momvetsetsa zotsatira za zomwe achita.

Ana amadalira makolo awo kuti aphunzire. Ngati mkwiyo komanso kupsa mtima komwe kumachitika monga kufuula ndi gawo limodzi la zomwe mwana amawona kuti ndi "zabwinobwino" m'banja lawo, machitidwe awo amawonetsa izi.

Wolemba komanso wophunzitsa makolo a Laura Markham, Ph.D., ali ndi uthenga wosapita m'mbali: Ntchito yanu yoyamba monga kholo, mutatsimikizira chitetezo cha ana anu, ndikuwongolera zomwe mumamva.

Zotsatira zakufuula

Ngati munalalatiridwa, mukudziwa kuti mawu okweza samapangitsa uthengawu kumveka bwino. Ana anu nawonso ndi osiyana. Kufuula kumawapangitsa kuti amveke bwino ndipo kuwalanga kumakhala kovuta, chifukwa nthawi iliyonse mukakweza mawu anu kumachepetsa chidwi chawo.

Posachedwapa akuti kufuula kumapangitsa ana kukhala owopsa, mwakuthupi komanso mwamwano. Kulankhula mwambiri, zivute zitani, ndikuwonetsa kukwiya.Zimawopsyeza ana ndikuwapangitsa kudzimva osatetezeka.

Kudekha, kumbali inayo, kumalimbikitsa, komwe kumapangitsa ana kumva kuti amakondedwa ndi kulandiridwa ngakhale ali ndi machitidwe oyipa.

Ngati kulalatira ana sichinthu chabwino, kufuula komwe kumadza ndi mawu achipongwe komanso chipongwe kumatha kukhala kuzunza. Zasonyezedwa kuti zimakhala ndi zotsatira za nthawi yayitali, monga nkhawa, kudzidalira, komanso kuwonjezeka kwaukali.

Zimapangitsanso kuti ana azikhala pachiwopsezo chovutitsidwa popeza kumvetsetsa kwawo kwamalire oyenera komanso kudzilemekeza kumayesedwa.

Njira zina zokweza mawu anu

Ana omwe amalumikizana kwambiri ndi makolo awo savuta kuwalanga. Ana akakhala otetezeka komanso okondedwa mosasamala kanthu, amalandira zokambirana zambiri ndikumvetsera kusamvana kukhale gawo lokalipa.

Umu ndi momwe mungapangire malangizo abwino omwe samakhudza kulira.

1. Dzipatseni nthawi yokwanira

Dzitengere wekha usanakalipa mpaka kulephera kudziletsa ndikukweza mawu. Mukachoka pagawo lankhondo kwakanthawi, mumadzipatsa mpata wofufuzanso ndikupumira mozama, zomwe zingakuthandizeni kukhazikika.

Zimaphunzitsanso ana anu za malire ndikuwongolera kukwiya moyenera.

2. Kambiranani za momwe akumvera

Mkwiyo ndikumverera kwachizolowezi komwe munthu angaphunzire ngati atayendetsa bwino. Povomereza kutengeka konse, kuyambira pachisangalalo ndi chisangalalo, chisoni, mkwiyo, nsanje, ndi kukhumudwa, mukuphunzitsa ana anu kuti onse ndi gawo lathu.

Lankhulani za momwe mumamvera ndikulimbikitsani ana anu kuti azichita zomwezo. Zidzawathandiza kukhala ndi ulemu wawo kwa iwo eni ndi ena ndikupanga ubale wabwino m'moyo.

3. Lankhulani ndi khalidwe loipa modekha, koma mwamphamvu

Ana amalakwitsa nthawi zina. Ndilo gawo la kukula. Lankhulani nawo motsimikiza omwe asiya ulemu wawo koma zikuwonekeratu kuti machitidwe ena saloledwa.

Tsikani pa diso lawo m'malo molankhula nawo kuchokera kumtunda kapena kutali. Nthawi yomweyo, kumbukirani kuvomereza ulemu ndi kuthetsa mavuto pakati pawo.

4. Gwiritsani ntchito zotsatirapo, koma siyani zoopseza

Malinga ndi a Barbara Coloroso, wolemba "Kids Are Worth It !," kugwiritsa ntchito kuwopseza ndi kuwalanga kumayambitsa kukwiya, kukwiya, komanso mikangano. M'kupita kwanthawi, amalepheretsa mwana wanu kukulitsa kulanga kwamkati.

Kuopseza ndi kulanga kumanyozetsa ndi kuchititsa manyazi ana, kuwapangitsa kudzimva kukhala osatetezeka. Kumbali inayi, zotsatira zomwe zimayang'ana machitidwe ena koma zimadza ndi chenjezo loyenera (monga kutenga chidole mutafotokoza kuti zoseweretsa ndizosewera, osati zomenya) zimathandiza ana kupanga zisankho zabwino.

Mawu onena za zosowa zoyambira

Kukhala ndi zosowa zofunika pamoyo, monga kugona ndi njala, kumapangitsa ana kukhala osangalala ndikupangitsa kuti akhale ndi machitidwe abwino. Kuphatikiza apo, kukhazikitsa zizolowezi kumawathandiza kuti asamakhale ndi nkhawa komanso kuti achepetse chiopsezo.

Zoyenera kuchita mukafuula

Ngakhale njira yanu yodzitetezera ndiyabwino, nthawi zina mumakweza mawu. Palibe kanthu. Muli nazo zonse ndikupepesa, ndipo ana anu aphunzira phunziro lofunika: Tonse timalakwitsa ndipo tiyenera kupepesa.

Ngati ana anu akukuwa, akumbutseni za malire komanso momwe kufuula si njira yolankhulirana yolandirika. Ayenera kudziwa kuti ndinu okonzeka kumvetsera malinga akuwasonyeza ulemu.

Chitaninso chimodzimodzi podzipatsa nthawi kuti muziziritsa injini zanu musanalankhule ndi ana anu mukakhumudwa kapena kuthedwa nzeru.

Mudzawathandiza kupanga zizolowezi za moyo wonse zomwe zimapangitsa kuti kusamvana kukhale kosavuta. Izi ziphunzitsa ana anu kumvetsetsa zolakwa, zawo ndi za anthu ena, ndikuti kukhululuka ndi chida chofunikira cholumikizirana bwino m'banja.

Ngati pakadali pano mudalira pakufuula kuti mulange ana anu, mwina mukuwona zotsatira zake:

• Ana anu amatha kudalira kufuula kuti atumizire anzawo mauthenga.
• Amakulankhulani mwinanso kukukalipirani m'malo mongolankhula mwaulemu.
• Ubale wanu ndi iwo ndi wosakhazikika komanso wosasunthika mpaka kufika poti simungathe kuyankhulana munjira yathanzi.
• Amatha kudzipatula ndikutengera zochita za anzawo kuposa inu.

Mutha kusintha zonsezi. Yambani ndikukambirana momasuka ndi ana anu za kulakwitsa kulira komanso chifukwa chake kupsa mtima kwanu mwanjira imeneyi sikuyenera.

Pangani nyumba yanu kukhala malo abata pomwe anthu amalumikizana mwaulemu komanso kuvomereza momwe akumvera popanda kunenezana, kuchititsa manyazi, kapena kuweruza. Kudzipereka kwathunthu kumapangitsa kukambirana kukhala kotseguka ndikupangitsa aliyense m'banjamo kuyankha.

Mukalakwitsa, musataye mtima. Si njira yosavuta koma ndiyofunika kuyesetsa.

Kodi mkwiyo wanu wakula kwambiri?

Ngati mkwiyo wanu umayambukira mwa ana anu ndipo mukulephera kuugwira mtima nthawi zonse, kuzindikira kuti muli ndi vuto ndilo gawo loyamba loti muphunzire kulilamulira.

Izi zidzakuthandizani kuti muzimva bwino ndikulankhula modekha komanso mwachikondi ndi ana anu.

Malinga ndi American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, zina mwazizindikiro zosonyeza kuti munthu akwiya ndi monga:

• kukwiya mosayenera pazinthu zomwe zimawoneka zazing'ono
• akukumana ndi zizindikilo zokhudzana ndi nkhawa monga kuthamanga kwa magazi, kupweteka m'mimba, kapena nkhawa
• Kudzimva wolakwa komanso wokhumudwa pambuyo pa mkwiyo, komabe kuwona kutengera komwe kumabwereza pafupipafupi
• kuchita mikangano ndi anthu ena m'malo mokhala ndi zokambirana mwaulemu

Katswiri wothandizira angakuthandizeni kupanga njira zothetsera bata ndikupewa kupsa mtima komanso kukuthandizani kukonza zovuta zoyipa paubwenzi wanu ndi okondedwa anu.