1 mwa 5 a Anzanu Akuyamba Kinky - Kodi Inunso Muyenera Kukhala?

Zamkati

• Tiyeni tibwerere kumbuyo kwakanthawi: Nchiyani chimayenereradi kink?
• Kugonana kwa Kinky kumatha kukhala kopindulitsa m'njira zina zodabwitsa
• Kumvetsetsa malingaliro olakwika a kugonana kwa kinky, malingaliro olakwika, ndi nthano
• Amayi nawonso amachita chidwi ndi kink
• Simuli "wopenga" kuyesa BDSM
• Simukusowa zida zapamwamba zambiri
• Kusunga chipinda chogona ndichosangalatsa komanso chotetezeka
• Chilichonse chimayamba ndi kuvomereza
• Mawu otetezeka si nthabwala
• Ganizirani (ndikulankhula) za "zovuta zanu"
• Onetsetsani kuti kupweteka kumakhala kosangalatsa - komanso popanda zotsatira zathanzi
• Kusamalira ana pambuyo pake ndikofunikira
• Kumbukirani: Kugonana kwa Kinky ndi zomwe mukufuna kuti mukhale

Theka la anthu ali ndi chidwi ndi kink

Kugawana zatsatanetsatane za moyo wanu wogonana ndikadali kovuta. Koma ngati simungathe kuyankhula za izi ndi anzanu apamtima, kodi kubweretsa kuchipinda kumakhala kosavuta?

Ngati sikunali zochitika zolaula komanso zolaula (moni, "Makumi Asanu a Mvi"), mwina simunadziwe zambiri zoyesa malire m'chipinda chogona. Ndipo ngati sikunali maphunziro osadziwika, mwina sitingadziwe kuchuluka kwa anthu aku America omwe ayesa - ndipo adakonda - kukwapula ndi kumangirirana.

Chowonadi ndichakuti mwina anzanu ena adayesapo - ndipo m'modzi mwa asanu amapangitsa kuti azisewera mchipinda chogona. Malinga ndi malipoti, oposa 22% mwa achikulire omwe amachita zachiwerewere amachita zosewerera, pomwe oposa 20% amachita kumangidwa ndi kumenyedwa.

Mwina chodabwitsa kwambiri? Kufufuza kwina kunapeza kuti pafupifupi theka la anthu 1,040 omwe anafunsidwa anali ndi chidwi ndi kink, ngakhale kuti analibe mwayi wofufuza. Ndipo pali kafukufuku yemwe akukula kuti kuchita chidwi mchipinda chogona kungakhale ndi maubwino angapo, pathanzi lanu komanso ubale wanu.

Tiyeni tibwerere kumbuyo kwakanthawi: Nchiyani chimayenereradi kink?

Ngakhale mawu oti kink alibe tanthauzo la zamankhwala kapena ukadaulo, nthawi zambiri chimakhala chizolowezi chilichonse chogonana chomwe sichimapezeka pamisonkhano - zomwe zimawonedwa monga zochita zachikondi, kukondana, kupsompsonana, kulowa maliseche, maliseche, komanso kugonana m'kamwa. "Kink" palokha amatanthauza chilichonse chomwe chimachokera ku "chowongoka komanso chopapatiza," ngakhale pali magulu angapo omwe amakhala pansi pa ambulera yogonana:

• BDSM. Pamene anthu ambiri amaganiza zogonana kinky, amaganiza za BDSM, zilembo zinayi zomwe zimayimira zisanu ndi chimodzi zinthu zosiyana: Ukapolo, Kulanga, Kulamulira, Kugonjera, Chisoni, ndi Masochism. BDSM imaphatikizaponso zochitika zosiyanasiyana, kuyambira pakupalasa mopepuka komanso kusewera / kugonjera kumaphwando andende.
• Zopeka komanso kusewera. Imodzi mwa mitundu yofala kwambiri ya kugonana kwa kinky imaphatikizapo kupanga zochitika zongoyerekeza. Izi zitha kukhala zazing'ono monga kungolankhula zongopeka pabedi, zovuta monga kuvala zovala kapena kuchita masewera pamaso pa alendo.
• Amayi. Mwamuna m'modzi mwa akazi anayi ali ndi chidwi choseweretsa zamankhwala, zotchedwa kuchitira chinthu chosagonana kapena chiwalo chogonana. Zovala zamtundu wamba zimaphatikizapo mapazi ndi nsapato, zikopa kapena labala, komanso sewero (inde).
• Voyeurism kapena chiwonetsero. Kuwona wina akuvula zovala kapena kuwonerera okwatirana akugonana osadziwa ndizofala zongopeka, pomwe kugona pagulu ndi njira imodzi yowonetsera. Zonsezi ndizofala modabwitsa (ndi kinky) - 35% ya achikulire omwe adafunsidwa anali ndi chidwi ndi voyeurism.
• Kugonana kwamagulu. Ma Threesomes, maphwando azakugonana, maphwando, ndi zina zambiri - kugonana pagulu ndichinthu chilichonse chomwe chimakhudza anthu opitilira awiri. ndipo 18 peresenti ya amuna amatenga nawo mbali pagulu, pomwe ochulukirapo amakhala akuwonetsa chidwi ndi lingalirolo.

Kugonana kwa Kinky kumatha kukhala kopindulitsa m'njira zina zodabwitsa

Mverani sayansi poyamba: Kugonana kwa Kinky kumatha kukuthandizani kuti mukhale bwino ndikukhala athanzi. Zomwe zidapezeka kuti onse omwe anali odziwika komanso ogonjera a BDSM anali:

• wocheperako nkhawa
• owonjezera
• otseguka kwambiri kukumana nazo zatsopano
• wosamala kwambiri
• ochepera kukana

Amakhalanso ndi thanzi labwino poyerekeza ndi gulu lolamulira. Izi zitha kutanthauza zinthu ziwiri: Kuti anthu omwe ali ndi mikhalidwe imeneyi amakopeka ndi kugonana kinky, kapena kuti kugonana kinky kungakuthandizeni kukula ndikudzidalira. Koma izi ndizotheka kwambiri, makamaka pamene tikufufuza zambiri za zovuta zakugonana kwa kinky.

Mwachitsanzo, adapeza kuti maanja omwe amachita zinthu zabwino, zovomerezeka za sadomasochistic (SM) anali ndi magawo ocheperako a mahomoni opsinjika owopsa a cortisol, komanso adanenanso zakukhala pachibwenzi chapafupi komanso kukondana atatha kusewera.

Ndipo kafukufuku woyambirira wa "masinthidwe" ochepa (anthu omwe amatenga mbali ina yomwe amawazolowera, monga olamulira omwe amakhala gawo) adapeza kuti kuvomereza BDSM kumatha kuchepetsa nkhawa pobweretsa malingaliro "osunthika ”Mkhalidwe wa chidziwitso. Izi ndizofanana ndi momwe ena amamvera akamakumana ndi "wothamanga", amachita nawo zaluso, kapena kuchita yoga.

Kumvetsetsa malingaliro olakwika a kugonana kwa kinky, malingaliro olakwika, ndi nthano

Ndizosadabwitsa kuti popeza sitimayankhula zakugonana kinky, pali zongopeka zambiri komanso malingaliro olakwika akuzungulira. Tiyeni tiwone pang'ono pazolakwika zingapo za kink.

Amayi nawonso amachita chidwi ndi kink

Ngakhale mitundu yakugonana kinky nthawi zambiri imakopeka kwambiri ndi amuna kapena akazi ena - mwachitsanzo, amuna ambiri amakonda kusewera phazi, pomwe azimayi ambiri amafunitsitsa kumva zowawa ngati gawo logonana - amuna ndi akazi amafuna kudziwa kink za mofanana.

Simuli "wopenga" kuyesa BDSM

M'mafilimu ambiri, BDSM nthawi zambiri imakhudzana ndi nkhanza komanso nkhanza. Ena mwa akatswiri adazunzidwapo komanso kusalidwa chifukwa cha ma kink awo. Koma kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti munthu wamba amene amachita nawo kink ali ndi thanzi labwino.

Simukusowa zida zapamwamba zambiri

Chithunzi cha dominatrix yovala chikopa chokhala ndi chikwapu chofananira chimatha kudumpha m'maganizo mukamaganiza zachiwerewere. Koma kwenikweni, zonse zomwe mukusowa ndi malingaliro komanso mnzanu yemwe ndimasewera.

Ngati mumakonda zokopa zina kapena mukufuna kudziwa zambiri zadziko lapansi, pali malo ogulitsa. Koma kuyesa kink sikungokhala kolemetsa monga, titi, kusewera mu ligi ya hockey yakomweko. Simufunikanso kumangirira kumaso kapena maunyolo ngati mukufuna kusewera ndi kunyalanyaza kapena zoletsa - tayi kapena chikwama cha pilo chitha kugwira ntchito pazochitika zonsezi.

Kusunga chipinda chogona ndichosangalatsa komanso chotetezeka

Ngakhale kugonana kinky kuli ndi maubwino ambiri, ndipo ngakhale kungakhale chilichonse chomwe inu ndi mnzanu mukufuna kukhala, palinso zinthu zingapo zomwe muyenera kukumbukira kuti kuwunika kwanu kusangalatse, kotetezeka, komanso kotheka.

Chilichonse chimayamba ndi kuvomereza

Chilolezo chodziwitsidwa sichinthu chomwe chimachitika musanakhale ndi mnzanu watsopano, ndichinthu chomwe chiyenera kuchitika musanachite chilichonse chogonana, makamaka ngati mukuyesa kinky koyamba. Kuyankhulana ndikofunikira kwambiri pamaubale ogonana athanzi, koma ndikofunikira mukamawunika maudindo akuluakulu / ogonjera kapena zomwe zingayambitse ululu.

Mawu otetezeka si nthabwala

Chimodzi mwazosangalatsa zanu zitha kuphatikizira kuletsa kapena kukana - zomwe ndizofala kuposa momwe mungaganizire pakati pa akazi. Kuti muwonetsetse kuti mutha kunena kuti ayi m'dziko lanu lokongola, komabe muli ndi njira yoti munene momasuka kwa wokondedwa wanu, gwiritsani ntchito mawu otetezeka omwe mumavomerezana musanakhale kinky. Mawu osasintha omwe mungagwiritse ntchito ndi kuwala kofiira (imani) ndi kuwala kobiriwira (pitiliranibe).

Ganizirani (ndikulankhula) za "zovuta zanu"

Aliyense ali ndi malire ndi malire osiyanasiyana. Ngakhale kukhala otseguka kuzinthu zatsopano zogona ndikofunika, kukhala omasuka pazomwe simukufuna kuzifufuza (monga kale, sikunali kofunikira). Kambiranani "malire ovuta" awa ndi mnzanu momasuka - palibe chifukwa chokhalira odekha.

Onetsetsani kuti kupweteka kumakhala kosangalatsa - komanso popanda zotsatira zathanzi

Gawo lalikulu la kugonana kinky ndikusakaniza zowawa ndi chisangalalo. Ngakhale maanja ambiri amatenga mzere pakumenyedwa pang'ono kapena kumenyedwa mbama, iwo omwe amafufuza njira zina - monga kupweteka kwa m'mawere ndi maliseche - ayenera kudziphunzitsa okha kuti asawonongeke kwambiri kapena kwakanthawi kwa minofu kapena misempha.

Kusamalira ana pambuyo pake ndikofunikira

Ngakhale akamachita zachiwerewere, amayi amatha "," zomwe zimaphatikizapo zizindikilo monga nkhawa, kukwiya, kapena kulira mopanda cholinga. Kulimbana ndi izi ndi chisamaliro chotsatira, chomwe chimaphatikizapo kukondana ndi kulumikizana, ndikofunikira, makamaka kwa BDSM.

Chifukwa chake musangogona pambuyo pogonana kwambiri. Fufuzani ndi mnzanuyo ndipo onetsetsani kuti ali bwino ndi zomwe zachitika kumene.

Kumbukirani: Kugonana kwa Kinky ndi zomwe mukufuna kuti mukhale

Kink imatha kuwoneka yosiyana kwambiri ndi mabanja osiyanasiyana, ndipo izi ndizabwino kwathunthu. Kufufuza kink sikuyenera kuyamba ndi kugula suti ya chikopa ndi chikwapu. Zitha kukhala zophweka monga kuwona zomwe zimachitika mukamachoka kuchipinda chanu chogona ndikulowa m'dziko latsopano logonana.

Mfundo zazikuluzikulu zogonana kinky ndizofanana ndi zaubwenzi wolimba, wokhalitsa:

• kulankhulana
• kudalira
• kumvetsetsa
• chipiriro

Ndipo tsopano popeza mukudziwa kuti ndizovomerezeka ndi sayansi, musalole zolemba zomwe zimapangidwa pagulu kuti zisokoneze chisangalalo chanu. Pitani ndi kukhala osamvera.

Sarah Aswell ndi wolemba pawokha yemwe amakhala ku Missoula, Montana, ndi amuna awo ndi ana awiri aakazi. Zolemba zake zawonekera m'mabuku monga The New Yorker, McSweeney's, National Lampoon, ndi Reductress. Mutha kufikira kwa iye Twitter.