Kodi Kuyika miyala kumakhudza ubale wanu?

Zamkati

• Kodi chikuwoneka bwanji?
• Kodi zimangokhala 'chinthu chachinyamata'?
• Kodi ndizoyipadi?
• Zimapangitsa kudzipatula
• Ikhoza kuthetsa chibwenzi
• Zitha kukhudza thanzi lanu
• Kodi ndi mtundu wina wa nkhanza?
• Kodi pali njira iliyonse yogwirira ntchito?
• Pewani kutuluka mwamphamvu
• Tengani nthawi yopuma
• Funani thandizo kwa sing'anga woyenerera
• Mfundo yofunika

Nenani kuti mukudya chakudya chamadzulo ndi mnzanu, ndipo nonse mumayamba kukambirana chinthu chimodzi chomwe chimapangitsa nonse kupita - osati motentha komanso mwamphamvu. Mwinamwake ndi ndalama kapena kugawa ntchito zapakhomo.

Mumayamba kufotokoza mbali yanu pazinthu kuti angosiya mwadzidzidzi kuyankhula zonse, ndikukusiyani mukuyang'ana chakudyacho muli wokwiya, nokha, komanso wokwiya.

Zimapezeka kuti pali mawu amtundu wokhumudwitsa uwu: miyala yamiyala. Ndi njira yofufuzira mwamalingaliro.

Tonse takhala olakwa pa izi nthawi ina, kaya mwa kuwomba m'nkhondo kapena kukana kuyang'ana m'maso tikapenga.

Nazi zina mwazizindikiro zakumaso zomwe zitha kuwonekera muubwenzi ndi masitepe omwe mungatenge ngati mungawazindikire nokha.

Kodi chikuwoneka bwanji?

Kuyala miyala kumachitika mukamayesetsa kupewa mkwiyo posanyalanyaza mikangano. Wobwerera m'mbuyo nthawi zambiri amakhala wokhumudwa ndipo amayamba kutseka ngati njira yodzitonthozera komanso kudekha.

Ngakhale zimakhala zachilendo nthawi zina kugwiritsa ntchito kusalankhula ngati njira yothanirana nayo, ndi mbendera yofiira khalidweli likakhala lachilendo.

Munthu amene miyala yamiyala sangakwanitse kufotokoza momwe akumvera ndikupeza kuti sizivuta kusiya. Izi zitha kuwoneka ngati:

• kutseka maso awo pokangana
• kutembenuka
• kuyang'ana foni yawo osayima mkati mokambirana mwamphamvu

Amatha kusintha mutuwo kapena kugwiritsa ntchito mayankho amawu amodzi kuti asayankhulane. Ndipo pamene iwo chitani anene kena kake, agwiritsa ntchito mawuwa:

• “Chitani chilichonse chimene mukufuna.”
• "Ndathana nazo."
• Ingondisiyani ndekha. ”
• "Ndiyenera kuchoka pano."
• "Sindingathe kuzitenganso."

Kodi zimangokhala 'chinthu chachinyamata'?

Anthu ambiri amaganiza kuti miyala yamiyala imakonda kwambiri amuna. Ngakhale kafukufuku wakale akuwonetsa kuti amuna nthawi zambiri amatha kuchoka pamaganizidwe ovuta poyerekeza ndi azimayi, ndichabechabe kuti ndi "chinthu chachinyamata" chokha.

Aliyense akhoza kupereka ozizira phewa. Kawirikawiri ndi njira yodzitetezera yophunziridwa muubwana.

Kodi ndizoyipadi?

Zitha kuwoneka ngati zopanda pake, koma kukana kuyankhula kungakhale nkhani yayikulu m'njira zingapo.

Zimapangitsa kudzipatula

Kuyala miyala kumadzipatula nonsenu m'malo mongobweretsana kumsonkhano.

Ikhoza kuthetsa chibwenzi

Ngakhale zitakhala kuti zimapuma kwakanthawi, "kuwunika" pafupipafupi ndi chizolowezi chowononga chomwe pamapeto pake chimawononga ubale wanu. Malinga ndi ofufuza ku Gottman Institute, azimayi akamaziponya miyala, nthawi zambiri amakhala olosera za kusudzulana.

Zitha kukhudza thanzi lanu

Ngati ndinu mwala wamiyala, mutha kukumana ndimomwe mungachitire, monga kugunda kwa mtima komanso kupuma mwachangu.

Mmodzi adapeza kuti kutseka m'maganizo pankhondo kumalumikizidwa ndi msana kapena minofu yolimba.

Kodi ndi mtundu wina wa nkhanza?

Poyesa kudziwa ngati khalidweli layamba kuzunza, ndikofunikira kuyang'ana pazolinga.

Wina woponya miyala nthawi zambiri amadzimva kuti sangathe kufotokoza momwe akumvera ndipo "amakumitsa" ngati njira yodzitetezera.

Kumbali inayi, miyala yamiyala itha kugwiritsidwanso ntchito kupangira kusalingana kwamagetsi polola kuti winayo asankhe nthawi yanji komanso momwe mungalumikizirane.

Onetsetsani ngati machitidwe awo asandulika omwe amakuchepetsani kudzidalira kwanu kapena kukupangitsani kukhala amantha komanso opanda chiyembekezo.

Ngati kusalankhula kwawo kungakhale dala ndi cholinga chakukuvulazani, ndi mbendera yofiira momveka bwino kuti akuyesera kulamulira ubalewo.

Kodi pali njira iliyonse yogwirira ntchito?

Kuwombera miyala sikutanthauza kuti kutha kwa chibwenzi, koma kumva kuti ndinu otetezeka mukamayankhulana ndikofunikira. Nazi njira zina zobwezeretsera kulumikizana.

Pewani kutuluka mwamphamvu

Ndikofunika kuti tisakhale aukali kapena kukakamiza munthu winayo kuti atsegule, makamaka ngati akumva kuti akuthedwa nzeru.

M'malo mwake, modekha adziwitseni kuti ndinu okonzeka kumva zomwe akunena. Kupatula nthawi yakumvetsera kumathandizira kukulitsa kukambirana kovuta.

Tengani nthawi yopuma

Mwala wamatabwa ukafika, zili bwino kupatsana chilolezo kupuma pang'ono. Izi zitha kukuthandizani nonse kumva kutsimikizika ndikusamalidwa.

Kaya ndinu munthu amene mumathawa kapena ndi mnzanu, kulola kuti nthawi yopuma ingakuthandizeni nonse kupewa kupsinjika mkangano.

Funani thandizo kwa sing'anga woyenerera

Kufikira kwa othandizira maubwenzi koyambirira ikhoza kukhala njira yolimbikitsira kulumikizana kwanu ndikulimbikitsa njira zabwino zolankhulirana.

Wothandizira amathanso kukuthandizani nonse kudziwa zomwe zimapangitsa mnzanuyo kuti azingokhala chete. Amatha kuwathandiza kuwunikira bwino momwe akumvera ndikuthana ndi mikangano.

Kumbukirani kuti maubale ndi njira ziwiri ndipo amafunikira kutseguka kwa thandizo lakunja kuchokera kwa onse awiri.

Mfundo yofunika

Tonsefe timafunikira kupumula nthawi ndi nthawi, makamaka zikafika pothana ndi zokambirana zolimba. Koma kukana kuchita nawo zokambirana zopindulitsa, ngakhale zovuta kwambiri, sizingathandize aliyense.

Pali njira zogwirira ntchito kuzungulira miyala. Koma ngati zikuwoneka ngati ndi gawo la kachitidwe kakang'ono kosintha, itha kukhala nthawi yoti uganizirenso zinthu.

Cindy Lamothe ndi mtolankhani wodziyimira pawokha wokhala ku Guatemala. Amalemba zambiri zamalumikizidwe pakati pa thanzi, ukhondo, ndi sayansi yamakhalidwe amunthu. Adalembedwera The Atlantic, New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, Quartz, The Washington Post, ndi ena ambiri. Pezani iye pa cindylowa.it.